| Outcast atk: 4 | def: 9.5 | dam: 6.5 |
| Mare :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: 10 (ages in Orangemoon) HP: 67 | Buff: NOVICE |
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Astraeus :: Common Zephyr :: Wakiya
ChaoticMelodies |
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The morning dawned bright and warm, a stark contrast to Sohalia's dreary mood. A normally cheerful dove, the mare glared daggers at the rising sun as she emerged from her nightly resting place beneath a palm hidden among a grove by the oasis. Vinati, her youngest daughter, bounced happily by her side, cavorting and gallivanting towards the desert's only water source. The girl was young and naïve, traits that allowed her to remain blissfully unaware of her mother's seething. When Sohalia pasted a smile on her face and sent the child off to play, the filly went without a fuss. She would not wander far, but even a slight distance would give the mare the solitude that she so craved. She knew that this would pass, whatever this was, though it annoyed her to no end that it would not free her mind more quickly. She had children to see to, and now a job to do - Cera had been kind enough to see to that - and she hadn't the time to be hampered by useless emotions. Not when all they seemed to do was hurt.
The waters of the oasis were calm and blue, shimmering with brilliant orange and yellow hues as the sun rose in the east. In an hour or two, when morning had truly arrived and the herd had begun to stir from their slumber, the dove would make her way to the area that she had dubbed the scrapyard - the dunes beyond the oasis upon which Cera had piled metal, neatly sorting into easily navigable piles. It was there that the mare spent a great deal of her time now, sorting though new finds or helping to carry a new "shipment" to the church that was under construction across the sands. It was also the only place that she ever felt like her old self anymore. A heavy sigh fell from the mare's lips.
It had always been easy to dismiss her mate's infidelity before, when she was sure that he had only strayed when he thought her dead. He had never wandered into the (metaphorical) open wings of another when she was actually present among his herd. Even now it was hard to think of him as her former lover - not when her heart ached so. Every errant wisp of wind seemed to carry his scent, every bright morning that dawned seemed to remind her of his fire - the Dragon's Throat had grown to be more his than hers in her absence, and he was everywhere that she looked. It was almost enough to drive her from the sands.
Just... not quite enough.
By now, no doubt, Nyx's child(ren) had been born, likely upon these very sands. Unbeknownst to her, that was not the only mare in which her Sultan had sown his seed, though the truth would eventually be revealed, as it always was. Though Sohalia had thrown herself into the work that she had been given by Cera and into her role as a mother, it still hurt to know that her actions had driven the only stallion she had ever truly loved to another. That he would give up so easily on her, on all that they shared. And, worse - she had not even seen him since their fight. If he wasn't purposefully avoiding her, she would eat her own tail. How else would it seem that his presence surrounded her even though his body was very much absent?
The Transcended kicked at the sand beneath her hooves, frustrated. With one eye on her daughter, who wandered along the shoreline of the oasis, far enough away to give both mother and child privacy, the mare sat in silence, frowning beneath the rising summer sun.
"Talk talk talk."
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Sohalia
Don't wanna leave this life knowing I barely tried... |
@Ampere - SORRY SHE'S MOPEY BUT AHG I'M SO EXCITED.
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Ampere The Mother of Companions Posts: 719
| Dragon's Throat Sultana atk: 9 | def: 11 | dam: 4.5 |
| Mare :: Pegasus :: 14 hh :: 6 years HP: 73 | Buff: DANCE |
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Kygo :: Green Cheek Conure :: None
Blu |
It seemed Ampere was due to face all her demons as of late. She had done a good enough job avoiding them in the past by throwing herself into her work, and if not that, then she had run from the reality of them, even if they chased her thoughts as her shadow did her body. Now though she didn't have much of a job any more except atonement, yet she hadn't even stepped hoof in any church. She was liable to burn on the spot if she did.
"Sohalia," she called gently as she waded through the oasis waters towards the familiar mare. She wouldn't have called out to the dove if not for the fact Sohalia would have spotted her in just a few moments anyway. Besides, even if Ampere didn't think conversation was motivating her, she was internally desperate for someone with intimate knowledge of Gaucho whom could either confirm or deny her rising concerns on his well being.
Plus, Sohalia was probably one of the few horses who couldn't fairly judge Ampere, not unless she wanted her thrown stones to shatter her own glass house. There was some comfort in that, however fucked up that was.
Ampere's hooves struck out on the oasis bank, slipping her from the water's maw back into the desert heat, its strength already on the rise even with such a fresh dawn. Ampere shook herself lightly, her feathers fluffed into the breeze.
"I'm glad to see you well, Transcended," Ampere murmured as she settled near the pale crafter, and she meant it. For all the strife that coalesced between them, Ampere had always retained a healthy respect for Sohalia. In many ways she was every thing that Ampere was not, making it little surprise that Gaucho seemed just as fond of her, if for different reasons. If Gaucho was her sun, then did that mean she was his moon, and Sohalia his sun?
[omg your post was amazing!]
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Tag me only if starting a new thread.
Magic or force permitted any time, aside from death.
| Outcast atk: 4 | def: 9.5 | dam: 6.5 |
| Mare :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: 10 (ages in Orangemoon) HP: 67 | Buff: NOVICE |
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Astraeus :: Common Zephyr :: Wakiya
ChaoticMelodies |
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Sohalia had always had a strained relationship with Ampere. Despite the fact that she deeply respected and even liked the blue, there had always been this unspoken competition between them. Though through some miracle, the women had never needed to ask their mutual lover to choose between them, there was no doubt that they had each laid their claim on him. The Transcended was often able to shove this fact to the back of her mind, locking it away and refusing to dwell on it; but each time it surfaced, it burned like freshly downed whiskey in her throat.
Still, she had once considered Ampere to be a friend. Oh, sure, their initial meeting in the oasis had been frosty at best; but later... later they had come dangerously close to confiding in one another. There had come to be no hatred between them, though jealousy could easily have soured the blossoming bond. But then, as though taking turns, one and then the other had disappeared from Helovia, and they had never had a chance to find out where they really stood with one another.
And so when Ampere appeared in the waters of the oasis, present in the Dragon's Throat at the same time as Sohalia, it was understandably quite the surprise. "Ampere," she said, a certain bewildered lilt in her voice, her brows rising in an obviously display of shock. Then, suddenly, almost as surprising as the appearance of the Pegasus, a bright smile appeared upon the dove's face. Whatever they might have shared of their Sultan, whatever hidden jealousies they held against each other - Sohalia was pleased to see her friend herd mate.
"And you as well, Mother of Companions." The sincerity in Ampere's tone was matched stride for stride by Sohalia. Even if it meant that Gaucho had one more mare's wings to run into, even if it meant that she would lose him forever - well, she had already thought that she had lost him to Ampere, hadn't she? Though she hadn't any proof that it was Ampere who had mothered those other children of whom Ivezho had spoken, she suspected. In her heart, she knew. And oddly, she had found peace with that idea. Ampere, it seemed, had been able to make Gaucho happy, and Sohalia would gladly walk away if it meant that he could find joy - even if it wasn't with her.
Just... not if it was some random bitch. Better the devil you know, right?
The mare instructed Astraeus to keep an eye on Vinati so that she might focus more completely on Ampere. Her ears pricked forward and her head turned to meet the blue's gaze. Not for the first time, Sohalia felt like a frumpy, disheveled soccer mom next to Ampere's sleek fighter's build. You know the type - that mother that always forgets to bake cookies for the PTA bake sale because her oldest has a science fair project due tomorrow, and the twins (gods, when did they get to be six?) have rolled around in who-knows-what in the backyard, and the baby on her hip is screaming because it's past her naptime, and honestly, who has time for baking, anyway?
"How are you?" she asked softly, for no matter how much she had going on in her own mind, she would always make time for those around her, and something about the quiet way that Ampere had approached made Sohalia feel as though she needed a kind ear.
"Talk talk talk."
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Sohalia
Don't wanna leave this life knowing I barely tried... |
@Ampere - thank you! :D Yours as well!
Please tag Sohalia in all replies.
Use of force and/or magic (with the exception of death) is allowed at all times.
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Ampere The Mother of Companions Posts: 719
| Dragon's Throat Sultana atk: 9 | def: 11 | dam: 4.5 |
| Mare :: Pegasus :: 14 hh :: 6 years HP: 73 | Buff: DANCE |
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Kygo :: Green Cheek Conure :: None
Blu |
That Sohalia could still proffer her a smile was a kind gesture that buoyed Ampere's heart, and a testament to the pale mare's strength that Ampere had always envied. Like old veterans comparing battle scars she and Sohalia could stand around going toe to toe with heart ache, but at the end it wasn't who had the most tallies, but who could stand the tallest afterwards. Sohalia's smile was proof she was sky high.
Perhaps the Transcended wasn't a warrior like Ampere, but she was still a fighter. Her strength came with the ability to withstand and to overcome, a mental endurance that rivaled Ampere's physical one. So maybe she was the hot mom with a bangin' bod from all her gym work outs, but that was only because she wasn't comfortable enough in her own skin, unlike Sohalia who was content enough to be frumpy. It was as if Ampere was trying to sweat out her concerns, pummel her problems, or yell at them, where as Sohalia was the epitome of gracefulness, a creator amid Ampere's destruction, and a quiet voice that was often listened to more often than her pointless shouting. Sohalia's strength was not immediately visible, but it was certainly there, and long ago Ampere had it ran much deeper than her's.
Even now Sohalia's response prompted a ghost of a grin onto Ampere's lips, encouraged by the gentleness of her tone and the sincerity in her eyes.
Then it was there, out on the table already. It was ugly and out of place, like a gun glinting in the daylight amid a porcelain tea party and lacy cloth. Sohalia may not have anticipated that her question would prove to be the weapon of choice in the conversation, because how often do you even bring a gun to a tea party, but Ampere couldn't help but stare at it now that it was there. When someone asks, how are you, when do they ever truly care for an answer? Should she pick it up and fire, disrupting the amicable setting, or cover it up with a doily and enjoy the pleasantness, even if it was a farce? If she did pick up, would it be unloaded, proof that Sohalia hadn't meant to put it there at all? It would be easier to chose if it was shitty weather outside, because whats one more gun shot amid the hundreds of aquatic bullets on a rainy day?
"Not great"
Bang.
Selfishly she pulled the trigger; gold laced ceramics shattered easily and earl grey pooled around the cracks as the life of the party drained away into oblivion.
"I think my kids hate me," she confessed, staring off into the distance, vaguely watching the child that frolicked among it. "Some of the herd too, I'm sure." She exhaled unapologetically.
"That's what I get for leaving, I suppose."
To be honest, it'd be worse if no one was mad, because then it would mean they didn't care, it would mean Ampere's presence was meaningless, whether for good or bad. She wasn't thinking about it like that though, but admittedly she was glad for the animosity. She felt she deserved it, so experiencing it was like penance, if only because she was mad at herself.
She hated herself.
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Tag me only if starting a new thread.
Magic or force permitted any time, aside from death.
| Outcast atk: 4 | def: 9.5 | dam: 6.5 |
| Mare :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: 10 (ages in Orangemoon) HP: 67 | Buff: NOVICE |
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Astraeus :: Common Zephyr :: Wakiya
ChaoticMelodies |
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Strength was not a trait that Sohalia had thought of as something that she possessed. She supposed that she had a fair amount of stupidity, perhaps even a bit of bravery - but she was not strong, had never been strong. How long had it taken her leaning on Gaucho's might to realize that she could never be like him? How long had it taken her watching Ampere and Megaera and all the other warrior maidens of the Throat to realize that she could never live up to them? And when she had finally tried, had finally put herself out there, decided to learn to fight, decided to contribute to her herd in a way that Gaucho would understand and appreciate - well, she had never done it for the right reasons, had she? And, after everything, she had failed. Miserably.
But whatever her opinion of herself, whatever her opinion of Ampere, whatever history lay between them, the Transcended was almost ready to leave it dead and buried. What use was it to hate a mare who she could neither confirm nor deny having relations with her once-mate? And how could she still claim him as hers, pretend to have any stake in him, after all that they had said to each other? After all that had come between them? How could she pretend to have any right to the bitterness that threatened to crush her, the anger that threatened to consume her? No, all she had - all she would ever have - was the guilt that overwhelmed her, day in and day out, ebbing and flowing like the waves of the ocean against her soul.
She did not expect honesty from the blue, not really - they were all so good at their practiced smiles that she had thought that Ampere would reply in kind. "I am well, thank you for asking. What a lovely day!" But Ampere had never really been what Sohalia had expected. She had expected to hate the darker pegasus, had expected to have to fight her for Gaucho's heart - but now she was just tired, tired and defeated, and she could no more find it in her heart to hold such animosity toward Ampere than she could to hate her children for giving up on her.
"Not great," the mare admitted.
Join the club, Sohalia thought.
Ampere's emotions were those that Sohalia was all too familiar with. She shared a sympathetic look with the blue, mulling over her thoughts before allowing words to spill forth. "They may think they hate you," she admitted flatly, a certain uncharacteristic bluntness to her words. "But they will come around. Mine did - and I left them twice." A sad, faraway look took over the mare's eyes. She had never meant to leave, never disappeared on purpose - but it hardly mattered, did it? She hadn't been here when it had mattered the most, and no amount of rationalizing or apologizing would ever change that.
"The herd, too," she added. "They may be suspicious, and it may take a while to earn their forgiveness, but..." She exhaled harshly. Her voice turned bitter. "That's what I keep telling myself, anyway. I don't really know what they think of me now, but... it can't be worse than what I think of myself." She met Ampere's gaze. "And they certainly can't think as badly of you as they do me." She saw Gaucho's anger, his hatred, in her mind's eye. No... Ampere would be welcomed back with open arms in comparison to her own homecoming.
"Talk talk talk."
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Sohalia
Don't wanna leave this life knowing I barely tried... |
@Ampere
Please tag Sohalia in all replies.
Use of force and/or magic (with the exception of death) is allowed at all times.
Want to place an order? Visit Crystalline Creations here!
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Ampere The Mother of Companions Posts: 719
| Dragon's Throat Sultana atk: 9 | def: 11 | dam: 4.5 |
| Mare :: Pegasus :: 14 hh :: 6 years HP: 73 | Buff: DANCE |
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Kygo :: Green Cheek Conure :: None
Blu |
"Do you really think so?" Ampere asked, unwilling to hide the hope that colored her voice with a lighter tone. She had been watching Sohalia as the mare spoke, drawn in for some reason by the mare's manner of speaking. Maybe it was the evenness of her tone that suggested wisdom in that way Ampere's loudness did not, or was it the experience that she backed her advice with? There was no doubt about it that Sohalia bore her own kind of battle scars, each one duly earned and learned from, Ampere assumed.
Yes, there was something of a kinship between them, a part that no doubt played a role in Ampere treating her as a confidence.
Near the end Sohalia confessed she actually didn't know, which drew a short and fragile laugh from Ampere, particularly coupled with the nearly competitive conclusion Sohalia added in. Thery had already challenged each other in the name of love, would they do the same for hate now?
"They certainly deserve their feelings," Ampere mused casually, well aware that she would be furious as well in the opposing end. "That rationale doesn't make it any easier to bear though," her tone had fallen back into dismal depths, a glass effect gone over her gaze as she seemed to stare through Sohalia, perhaps into some field of memories. "I think there is no worse feeling than your own children hating you, especially for due cause." Ampere had remembered having arguments with her own mother, but her dam, if perhaps not the best, had never left her. Quite the opposite, as soon as she was old enough, Ampere had left her - it seemed she was the leaving kind.
She feared her children might due the same, even her girls, whom she'd always combated with more often than her son.
"And this herd... they're like family to me. I'd do anything for them, and this land, no matter what." There might be some who didn't feel as strongly towards her, and there were a few individuals that weren't her favorite, but she'd still put her life on the line for any of them. A herd had to be that way - they weren't just a group living together because it was convenient, they were more than that. Just because they squabbled didn't mean that love and loyalty was lost; but she ought to be here first and foremost. how could her herd, her family, depend on her if she was gone? "I guess I should back up my words by being here first, eh?" She shook her neck, a sign she was dismissing that topic of conversation. Time would be the only healer now.
"Which brings me to another thought." Her attention had cleared and was now set firmly upon Sohalia, blue eyes held against blue. "I'm worried about Gaucho."
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Tag me only if starting a new thread.
Magic or force permitted any time, aside from death.
| Outcast atk: 4 | def: 9.5 | dam: 6.5 |
| Mare :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: 10 (ages in Orangemoon) HP: 67 | Buff: NOVICE |
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Astraeus :: Common Zephyr :: Wakiya
ChaoticMelodies |
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Sohalia's words were met with an uncharacteristically stoic silence on Ampere's part, at least in the ivory dove's experience. She was used to Ampere being everything that she was not: loud, explosive, reactive. But now they were almost the same, just two mares aching over hearts broken by their own selfish actions. The reasons behind their respective departures didn't matter - they never had, not to those that had been hurt by their absence. It only mattered that they were here now, longing to make amends for their transgressions. And that would make all the difference in the world, once time had healed the wounds that they had caused.
"I do," she confirmed, her voice calm and encouraging. "They need you just as you need them, Ampere. You're their mother." Gods knew that she had needed her mother, even after the older mare's death when she was young. That was why her beloved Akako had meant so much to her, after all. Akako had been the mother that Sohalia had never gotten to have, and it was the unicorn mare's kindness that continued to drive her own personality even now, nine years later. "They are angry, of course - and you would be too, in their hooves. But in the end... they still love you, even if it's hidden beneath that hurt right now. But anger and hatred are not the same, no matter how often they are confused for one another."
The blue's sentiments about the herd were echoed with an acknowledging sigh from the Transcended. What more was there to say on the topic? Just as Ampere would, Sohalia would willingly sacrifice herself if it meant saving even one of her herd-mates. But did they know that? And even if they knew her feelings about it, would the believe her when she hadn't given them a shred of proof? Ampere's self-loathing was well understood by her companion, and though the petite mare wished she could take that pain away, she knew that there was little that would heal the wound but time.
But whatever she had expected of their conversation, it was not for Ampere to bring up Gaucho. Their fragile friendship depended on the fact that one of them was always absent while the other was present, that they could juggle the stallion between them without ever having to really think about it. But where Ampere knew Sohalia was the other woman (or was that Ampere?), the Transcended had only her suspicions. And Ampere bringing up their mutual love interest brought those suspicions uncomfortably close to the light.
"Why?" she asked, her brows snapping together with concern as she reacted without thought, a subtle panic lacing her words. Had Gaucho said something to Ampere about their fight? Had he decided he wanted nothing more to do with her? Or had she distracted him into some horrific blunder in battle? Was he injured? Was it physical or mental? Had she hurt him so irrevocably that even Ampere knew about it? "What's wrong?"
"Talk talk talk."
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Sohalia
Don't wanna leave this life knowing I barely tried... |
@Ampere
Please tag Sohalia in all replies.
Use of force and/or magic (with the exception of death) is allowed at all times.
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Ampere The Mother of Companions Posts: 719
| Dragon's Throat Sultana atk: 9 | def: 11 | dam: 4.5 |
| Mare :: Pegasus :: 14 hh :: 6 years HP: 73 | Buff: DANCE |
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Kygo :: Green Cheek Conure :: None
Blu |
It was never something really discussed, and to be honest, Ampere had never dwelled on it - this balance between her and the pale mare and the man they both loved. Ampere had always known of Sohalia and Gaucho, had even tried to purposefully come between them, or rather, have Gaucho notice her in the beginning, such was the intensity of her desire for the fire. In her youth there had certainly been jealousy and even cruel deviousness towards Sohalia, but Ampere had mellowed with age, tempered by the heat of the Throat and the weight of motherhood. She held no ill will towards Sohalia, but perhaps had only been lucky thus far that Sohalia did not hold any against her.
Ampere's knowledge of Sohalia and Gaucho meant she had always accepted their children, old or otherwise (her gaze flicked towards the filly in the distance). What of Sohalia though, did she feel the same way, did she even know? Ampere did not run around telling anyone who the father of her children were (sometimes even she didn't know...), and her and Gaucho had never really decided on anything between each other. There was just a magnetic pull each of them felt towards each other that seemed unavoidable, and there'd been talk of love at some point or another, but that had been it. Like everything between her and the Transcended, she and Sohalia were extremely different, yet very similar. The word mate had certainly been used between Gaucho and the pale mare, but the phrase had never been uttered with Gaucho and the dark mare.
So the notion that Ampere was bringing a buried topic dangerously close to the light never once crossed her mind, because for her, it was already out and on fire. Even when Sohalia's body language shifted slightly, the blue pegasus took it to be concern for the Wildfire, not for his heart.
So Ampere continued, her tone distant as she seemed caught up in her recent memories of the stallion and the small cues he'd given off. "I can't pin it under my hoof," she admitted, "yet he seems, off." Now that she wasn't in his presence, wrapped up in his heat and his light, she couldn't exactly recall what had seemed so wrong. "He seems, weaker," she finally managed, tilting her head faintly, as if unsure of its herself. "And distant, like he's there but not." Her lips pursed in a thin line of disapproval, as if saying the worries out loud not seemed silly to her. She shook her head and sighed, her gaze clearing as she left her memories and looked back at Sohalia. "Then again I've been gone, so perhaps something has happened to occupy him as of late. A new threat to the herd perhaps... he's always busy with the politics."
Except Ampere's gut still churned with worry, because she knew what a herd-busy Gaucho looked like, and this wasn't it.
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Tag me only if starting a new thread.
Magic or force permitted any time, aside from death.
| Outcast atk: 4 | def: 9.5 | dam: 6.5 |
| Mare :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: 10 (ages in Orangemoon) HP: 67 | Buff: NOVICE |
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Astraeus :: Common Zephyr :: Wakiya
ChaoticMelodies |
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The Transcended felt as though she'd been punched in the gut. Even as Ampere explained, the ivory mare was reeling. Gods, what had she done? To go this long without even speaking to her mate was idiotic, even if that had been what he had wanted. Time. Space. It all seemed immaterial now that someone else was noticing something about her Sun and Stars that she had not. Was it not her job to watch out for him, to make sure that he was okay? You lost that job when you left, Gaucho's voice whispered in the back of her mind, an accusatory stare appearing against her rapidly blinking eyelids. And yet, what was worse? Leaving, whether by choice or not, had to be better than simply standing idly wrong and letting something happen to Gaucho under her very nose. Even if he was sleeping with half of Helovia instead of her.
But what was she supposed to do? They had both said awful, hurtful things that couldn't be taken back, no matter how badly she wished they could. She would give anything to go back to her appearance in the Riptide Isles, to fly straight home and demand her mate back, to prove to him that it was he and only he that she loved. What had she done, though? She'd flown straight into a stranger's wings, taken refuge in a stranger's home, and left it to her illegitimate daughter to break the news to Gaucho for her.
Drowning in guilt, it took a moment for her to realize that Ampere had stopped. The silence stretched, the clock ticking until it would be obvious even to the distracted Mother of Companions that something wasn't quite right. "I..." Nothing followed. She tried again: "He..." She swallowed hard. "What if it's my fault?" A panic bloomed in her eyes as she considered what Ampere had shared. Gaucho, weaker? Distant? Distracted, perhaps? She hadn't thought him to be the type to brood, but perhaps...
"I... we... there was a fight," she continued lamely, wanting to withhold her weakness but finding the words spilling forth all the same. "When I got back to Helovia last -" Gods, how she hated those words leaving her mouth! "- I had heard of Gaucho taking another lover. I thought that he'd be better off just thinking I'd died or something. I didn't want to cause any problems if he was happy. So I ran off and... I made a mistake, and when Gaucho found out, he was furious. We both said things we didn't really mean, and that was the last I've spoken to him. The last I've seen him, really. Is it - do you think he's distracted because of me? Or is it - is he sick? Or...?" She trailed off, at a lost and afraid, wondering if she'd just given Ampere the ammunition she'd need to destroy her.
"Talk talk talk."
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Sohalia
Don't wanna leave this life knowing I barely tried... |
@Ampere - if you don't want to continue this one since it's so old, I understand! Feel free to of course, but I didn't want you to feel obligated. :3
Please tag Sohalia in all replies.
Use of force and/or magic (with the exception of death) is allowed at all times.
Want to place an order? Visit Crystalline Creations here!
Want to plot with Sohalia? Visit her plot page here!
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