We had left at sunrise before—and now, here we were again, when the sun was settin’ low and the sky above was settling in an easy orange, magenta, and there was a breeze to cut the heat a little. Let us breathe. Give us a moment to think.

It felt weird to be standing there outside the sparkling glass wreckage that bordered the World’s Edge. It felt…just, weird to stand there smelling the salt and feeling the thickness of the ocean in the air, and having the tension in our bellies eased by it, the deep, awful squirming sensation that had been fucking with Chico ‘n me for the past season ever since we had bolted from Lee’s grasp, Tembovu’s invitation. We made that choice in that moment. And it turns out we figure we had chosen wrong.

Chico was fucked up about it, too. He didn’t want to want to be here any more than I did, but I can see behind his eyes was a yearning he hated to have, and itch to see the bright-eyed elephant honey that was on his mind more than he’d admit outright. But there was a more to that feeling and I felt it too and I dunno man, neither of us knew how to describe it, but being all by ourselves out there again—like we were used to, the only way either of us knew how to live—felt small, and empty. It wasn’t right anymore. I wasn’t sure why.

We talked it over too, whenever the feeling got too itching for us to ignore. We talked about it even when we weren’t using words, dreaming about it together, sharing our dreams in ways we didn’t talk about but we both knew in the backs of our minds. We made another decision.

Chico sat on my back, heavy and white-maned with his great leather wings draped over both of us. He was subdued in a way I haven’t really seen before, still wrestling with himself even after the decision was made, even now that we were standing outside the goddamned walls for crying out loud. He couldn’t help it. He was born into freedom and that’s not a thing you can just throw away so easy.

But were we really throwing it away though? That was a thought I had, often. There were more and they were deeper and more introspective n’ shit but I’m not ready to throw all of that out into the world yet, so. Just know I was standing in front of the broken, shattered, gorgeous gates and  I bellowed from the bottom of my chest, “TEMBOVU,” and I stood and waited as the breeze blew a little more surely, as the sky eased into a liquid violet that just started thinking about stars. 

I didn’t realize I was supposed to feel guilty about something. No one told me I was supposed to feel guilt. I saw that big ol’ lump of a stud coming and I could feel a smile warming my lips and no one told me how I had left this place a little more shattered than how I’d found it. No one told me. Goddammit I would’ve felt guilty about it if I had had the chance.

But nah, that’s not what I was feeling as I saw Tembovu roll up on us, Mbwene in tow with his huge step. There was a pull from Chico as he saw his lil’ shortstack (who wasn’t so much of a shortcake no more, huh) and with a single, powerful (painful, ow jeez) flap of his heavy wings he bounded off my back, making a bee-line straight for the elephant, cuz that’s all he knows how to do: react. And he was reacting to the happy that he felt in his breast and how it was exploding out of him before he even had a shot at containing it—

—and then he slowed down, confused at himself for the reaction—and then he stopped in the grass in front of her, plopping down in front of her outstretched trunk, not quite knowing what to do with all that happy he was fumbling around with, offering it to her instead, letting her make the first move, cuz how the hell was he supposed to know if she wanted to deal with that shit?

(Quit explain me.)

(I do what I waaaaant.)

The pull of a smile trying to work the corners of my mouth wasn’t quite strong enough to thaw the ice of apprehension that set my lips, listening to lowness of Tembovu’s voice as he greeted me, watching the lines of his face move with his mouth. I had had enough sleepless nights to see it plastered on someone’s face like that. I guess sleep hated everyone, huh.

What’s up, man? a piece of me wanted to ask, because that’s how my heart handled the sight of his weariness. “Tembovu,” I is what I actually said, and it wasn’t quite a greeting, more of a—of a sigh or some shit, like I was relieved. Like, I dunno man. I don’t know what I’d be relieved about, but I was definitely feeling the shit. Like I was worried the crown had changed places again—or something.

What brings you back to the Edge?

I swallowed; Chico growled low in his throat, stones grinding deep in his chest. “We never should of left,” I said, and on my tongue was a hoarse something I ain’t ready to explain yet. Whatever doubts we had—we still had—were quelled by this feeling rising in both of us, at seeing the Edge King.

“We…Me ‘n Cheek…” I started—and I was already fumbling words ‘n shit cuz I’m awful at spewing a feeling this complex out my mouth like this, “Well...See, I ain’t been in a herd since I was a child, and Chico…he ain’t even been in one before, so, like—I dunno man, we don’t know what we’re doing with this, where it’s gonna go or…or…” It tumbled out of me too fast to make sense, and I stopped myself and sighed, forcing the block in my throat to dissolve, to twist my tongue straight again, “We just know,” I said, with a little more force (a little more hoarse), “that we shouldn’t of left.”

I bit my lip; I didn’t know how this kind of shit was supposed to go down. What was I supposed to say? How was I supposed to make this sincere? Chico continued to look at Mbwene with is liquid gold eyes, sparkling with all kinds of Take me back, sorry baby, while I reached for Sparkmarrow with my maw.

He reacted instantly to my touch; I drew his length and there was a zzpk-POW that split the air as the eight blades snapped into place, banded together by and faintest trace of shocking blue arcs. I watched Tembovu the whole time—scared for a second that he might think I was gonna go for a fight—and I reached forward and thrust Sparkmarrow’s blade into the grass between us. I took a step back from the buzz of the sword in the earth, still watching Tembovu with that hoarse thing still in my eyes.

Offering my sword to the King. I’ll have you if you’ll have me. It was the only way I could lay my myself out like that, without stuttering it to shreds.

I didn’t think about it too hard, either—whether or not he would accept me like this, whether or not he would even reply, whether or not the shock of Sparkmarrow’s magic would kill some trees or whatever (oops). I sat still and Chico sat still and we both just waited to see how the both of us would be received.

I didn’t really catch the jolt of happy from Cheek as his ‘Bwenny latched onto his mane and pulled him close, as he settled into her embrace with a rumbling, growling purr deep in his chest. I was caught off-guard by Tembovu’s wide eyes and the wonder that spilled from his mouth as his companion spoke to him--for the first time? And it was such a human moment that I wasn’t prepared for--something so honest and unscripted from something that was supposed to be so serious--it broke the small grin out of me that had wanted to form all this time, and a nervous sort of chuckle, too. “Yeah, they do that,” I told him, remembering how I had felt when Chico started talking to me. “And they don’t stop, either.”

It wasn’t a long moment to wait for his verdict--but it still left my insides wiggling uncomfortably, wondering and wishing and hoping and waiting for the blow if it was coming. But it looked like he had decided a thing before I had even come, because the way he walked around Sparkmarrow and collected me into his embrace like that was too easy to have been a scruple in his mind.

I tensed for a second--I couldn’t help it--how often do I let someone touch me like that? The only people to hug me--hold me--like that for the past year or so had been either Jiji or Lee, and those were two chapters of tragedy all by themselves. I barely knew Tembovu enough for that kind of a heartbreak, but nah, too late, he was holding me and I eased into it and a bewildered little laugh escaped out of me, my head swimming slightly at the fact that he didn’t want the sword I offered him. He had wanted me. And it had always been like that. And he was glad that I had returned.

And I wasn’t sure what I was feeling in that moment.

My brain caught up, though, when he mentioned Sparkmarrow. “Heh, yeah,” I mumbled, my words caught in the thickness of his neck, the cut of his chest.It was hard to focus, cuz the bastard was huge and I’d never been wrapped in an embrace like this before. It was nothing like Lee’s gentle, brittle hesitation; Tembovu was firm and hot, like that towering, flaming elephant he could burst from his body. “My, uh…Pa gave it to me,” I said, and I found myself belatedly wondering what that sort of thing would mean to him--if it would mean anything at all.

Your Pa? he repeated, and I found myself holding my breath for a second. I didn’t know why, don’t ask, but there was just always this...this thing about people knowing who I was. About who my Pa was, about what ran through my blood. I dunno man, I didn’t want them to look at me like I was something special; like I was a big deal or some shit. If someone’s eye was gonna fall on me, I wanted to earn was was in it.

He backed up off of me, turning the tide of the conversation away from the focus of Pa. I didn’t realize how relieved I’d be by that, that I could keep that bit a secret from him just a little bit longer. Was that wrong of me? Didn’t he deserve to know who he was housing in his herd? But then, like, what would it matter anyway if he knew who I was. What would it change? And I guess what scared me is that it might change something anyway, I dunno, I didn’t specialize with the future. That was Pa’s job.

My job was to shoot lightning ‘n shit at people and wield the sword he had lost to a glacier, and right now, that’s what Tembovu was asking about. Did your pa teach you to wield it? I cocked my brow, shrugging my shoulders just a bit. “Nah, life did that for me,” I said wryly, “But it’s...been a while since the last catastrophe, so. I’m a little out of practice.” It was true; the Rifts were closed, those gods were dead, and I didn’t have the heart to try this thing out on real mortal flesh. It didn’t seem right. Like, overkill or whatever.

Which is why it shocked me when I saw Tembovu square up and his intention couldn’t have been clearer. My reaction was immediate; my blood surged hotly, every nerve ready for the fightand the throwing of hooves ‘n shit and everything that came with it. But I hesitated still, because I had the feeling he wanted me to use Sparkmarrow, too. I reached forward, grasping, the hilti in the groove in-between my teeth, pulling it easily from the earth. I gave him a look. “Y’shure ‘bout thish?” I asked from around the sword lodged in my mouth.