"Where brilliance is good and madness is better..."
Helovia Info
Helovia opened in February 2012! We are an active fantasy equine RPG
Where once the world narrowed into naught but gray dust and desolation, the gods called for life. Wielding the elements of fire and light, dark and wind, earth and water, spark and time, they have created Helovia. The realm is set within the mythical globe of Loorien, a planet rich with all variety of creatures and blessed with all manner of magic. Originally populated by nomadic, tribal characters, they've since grown into massive empires saturated with culture and history. Separated into four distinct segments of Helovia, called "The Regions," each band of horse strong enough and capable enough, took up the power and responsibility of leadership. Unicorns, old, wise and mysterious, took to the north, hidden in forests of mists and shadows and rarely making themselves known beyond their cliffs of the World's Edge. Equines, vast, organized and militaristic, split into two, one group went north to the Windtossed Foothills and the other group went south to the Dragon's Throat. Pegasus remained nomadic, making their homes in various parts of The Wilds in a migratory manner. For many generations, the land was peaceful and calm, but peace was never the way of the gods. With a clash of argument, war and bloodshed massacred Helovia, and in the aftermath, the realm was eerily quiet. Now, as newcomers sweep into this land, they are met with the lingering bitterness of the gods and the struggle to reclaim what was lost. Nothing remains safe or certain while sorcerers and soldiers alike brood and bide their time for revenge, honor and glory.
Site Wide Plots
Kaos :: The Beginning of the End ☼ - 6/2017 - Kaos placed Helovia in a time-bubble for a short period of time, but the Helovian gods are fighting back. But Kaos is powerful- far more powerful than anyone thought. This may be the beginning of the end of Helovia as we know it.
Kisamoa :: A New Kind of Kaos ☼ - 3/2017 - Kisamoa asks Helovians to help him restore the Spectral Marsh. Which side will you choose?
Invasions :: All Out War ☼ - 5/2/16 - New layout and the brand new invasion rules are up! Thank you for your patience and we look forward to getting started with this new adventure.
The Rift :: Gods Do Die ☼ - 8/2015 - Helovia Gods are saving the Rift from corrupt gods! Can Helovians band together against these foreign deities?
The Literal Ship ☼ - 2/8/15 - Oh no! You have to pair up for Valentine's day!
Sky Island :: Murder ☼ - 10/25/14 - Vesta has been found dead on the island, and the gods have called to you to solve the murder!
Sky Island :: Peace ☼ - 7/7/14 - An island has appeared in the sky! Clouds carry Helovians from the Veins to the sky.
Restoration :: We Welcome the Dawn ☼ - 9/21/13 - The sun has finally risen on this day, giving the land new light, but the Time God and the Sun God have yet to be seen.
Endless Night :: Broken Magic Plot ☼ - 8/30/13 - The earth god has returned and is walking across Helovia to heal the land. Every area can now be considered lush and prosperous, but the sun has still not risen.
☼ - 7/19/13 - The moon has risen in the sky, heralding the return of the Goddess of the moon. Lamp trees which light the paths have grown brighter, moon flowers which grow in dark places have begun to grow and prosper and the world is brighter, filled with a new hope.
Endless Night :: Dead Magic Plot ☼ - 6/22/13 - The gods of Helovia, in order to protect the world, have disappeared into the rift, leaving the world sunless, moonless and magic-less in their absence. Only the herdlands have a source of light, but lamp-trees with glowing leaves and branches sporadically line the popular roads and paths from place to place.
Doppleganger Plot ☼ - 6/20/13 - The God of Time is still struggling to close the rift though which the dopplegangers have come. He has requested that his brothers and sister assist in closing this hole, but without knowing why it opened, the task is proving difficult. Magic still remains faulty and hard to control, but the herdlands continue to be places of refuge for those who are fortunate enough to call these lands home.
ORANGEMOON cools off the lands with a a viscious force. Colder than normal, a sign of things to come during Frostfall, Helovia is bathed in a rich tropical lushness - albiet a cold one. The coastlines of the Dragon's Throat are pelted constantly by tidal waves, and the desert climate is humid but chilly. Ice begins to form early in the Aurora Basin leaving the winding trails slick and dangerous. The mists of the World's Edge coat everything in a glistening crystalline shine which encourages mould to grow everywhere. The Spectral Marsh is the only area which remains fertile, blissfully temperature and lush.
Cotm
Character of the Month for
June, 2017
WEAVER, Corporal of the Aurora Basin, is a relatively recent addition to Helovia and has taken it by storm. Branded with the seal of Death on her chest, intrigue and interest follow both her past and present. Though she is assuredly beautiful, her sometimes sharp personality reveals that there is more to this uni-peg hybrid than meets the eye. Proving herself able on the battlefield in the Basin’s warrior ranks, we can’t wait to see her test her mettle against the looming Kaos happenings! Congratulations!
Helovia RPG was created by Tamme and Blu and coded by Tamme also known as Schwartze. All coding, palettes and imagery are copyrighted to the website and are not for use outside of Helovia. Thank you to our ServerMaster for hosting Helovia. A special thanks goes to Neo for all of her coding help and fixing Tamme's errors, Boom, for her loyal service and creation of the Time God, and to Ali for her consistent contributions and dedication.
M E G A E R A
“We cast a shadow on something wherever we stand, and it is no good moving from place to place to save things; because the shadow always follows. Choose a place where you won't do harm - yes, choose a place where you won't do very much harm, and stand in it for all you are worth, facing the sunshine.” -- E.M. Forster
The Sunspear stood upon the beach, at the base of the Sun God's bridge. The wind off the salt sea pulled at the long black tendrils of her mane and tail until they whipped across her body to reach toward the rough waters. Was she that much forsaken? Did they very wind want to lift her and take her away from the Throat? Did the sands themselves want to part with her? Was that why they flew in east blustering gust and stung at her back?
Sunspear....what right do I have to that name now? she thought, the bleak cast of her heart as heavy as the shining weapon that hung at her left side. The God had given it to her on their last meeting. The memory rose, twisting her heart it it's fingers. ~"You are Megaera the Sunspear, are you not?" he had said, and he had smiled at her... smiled for her. "Then fly true. For you are my Sunspear, and my aim has never faltered. "~ But it seemed she had faltered, in her aim or by some lack in her that even the might and grace of her god could not overcome. And He had let her go, replaced her. Stripped her. Just a spear... just a spear now as ever I was.
And she wept.
Einarr waited for her, their children waited for her, but before she could force herself to leave behind the place that had been her home for four long years (her first ever home) she let herself stand quietly at the edge if an angry sea and shed silent tears for all that she had lost. The meeting she had stumbled on had done nothing to help. Perhaps when she had taken that route (instead of taking to the air and flying past as she had planned) there had been some burning wish that they all wound have been waiting for her, that they all would have wanted her to stay. These aren't your people anymore, Meg, this isn't your home.
-cries- Soooo basically right after the herd meeting thread, headcannon there was after Cera spoke she just kind of...deflated and walked away to come cry ;-;
Private to keep it going, if you want to join plz ask me :) @Ampere@Cera
FAC FORTIA ET PATERE
be brave and endure
:: permission given for use of magic and force :: please tag Megaera in all posts ::
Ampere greeted softly, gently, if in part because of the lump in her throat that had been ever since he fell, and because she was cautious to break whatever reverie the bay mare had succumbed to. Her voice was a little rap on the door of Megaera's attention, but Ampere didn't hesitate for an invitation, stepping forward to settle beside the former sultana, beside her sister in the sands.
Could they be more than that, could they be friends? If the pair was ever at odds it was nothing that caused Ampere to hesitate - she was at odds with everyone, including those she loved, so it made no difference to her. What mattered to the little blue mare was honesty and loyalty, and in that, she knew Meg to be true.
"Thank you," Ampere murmured, her voice stangled in her throat so that it came out choppy and morose. "For speaking up at the meeting. I was beginning to fear the whole herd had gone mad as to just sit and accept everything she was saying, but you had the courage to stand up there with me." Ampere leaned across to brush her muzzle against the Sunspear's shoulder. "So thank you."
If Ampere took notice of Megaera's sorrows, she never could have imagined it was a sense of homelessness on her part; she assumed that it was grief for Gaucho, as the whole herd had sunken into a pit of despair after his light had been snuffed out. For Ampere, it was as comparable to the days when the sun itself was lost to them.
Megaera was at least some bright light amid the darkness, or so she thought.
A M P E R E HALO OF COLD HAIR &_LIGHTNING
schwartz.deviantart.com
Tag me only if starting a new thread.
Magic or force permitted any time, aside from death.
M E G A E R A
“We cast a shadow on something wherever we stand, and it is no good moving from place to place to save things; because the shadow always follows. Choose a place where you won't do harm - yes, choose a place where you won't do very much harm, and stand in it for all you are worth, facing the sunshine.” -- E.M. Forster
A voice came, softer than the battlemare had ever heard it, but the word it spoke so gently felt like iron in her heart. No, no please don’t call me that. Ampere, who had given her the name, it seemed would be present for both her rise and her fall—the later so much less momentous. Megaera’s eyes shut tight against the moniker, a subtle flinch but she gave no more sign of distress caused by the blue mare than that. Perhaps she might have tensed against some tirade on her failings the other might have thought to hurl at her but it would have been nothing that Meg hadn’t though of already.
But Ampere settled calmly beside her, and that was almost worse. Meg could have left thinking that they all wanted her gone, that they were all glad to see her go and that would have been easier than this. She heard ampere’s quiet words, her thanks, and for the first time felt a twinge of regret for the decision she had felt compelled to make. If so much in the Throat had changed, if all she had been built had tumbled, why now did the Blue pick this moment to reach out to her?
At the soft touch upon her shoulder, a sharp rasping intake of breath broke her silence. She had never fully understood Ampere; in the long years they had been often at odds but Meg had never had anything but respect for the other mare. Hadn’t they stood together when it counted? Meg’s eyes lifted, searching to meet Ampere’s, reaching for that lifeline like a drowning victim Her ship was wrecked upon this shore but she still loved it so, her home wasn’t hers anymore but it still killed to say goodbye.
”You’ll find me, won’t you? If ever I’m needed again?” If ever I am wanted again. There was a desperation in her voice, underneath the bleak sorrow, a need in her heart to know that all her years and her love had not been wasted here. She would go and care for her children, lick her wounds and heal but even amidst the dregs of bitterness and grief she knew if the Sun called she would answer. If her friends called…
FAC FORTIA ET PATERE
be brave and endure
:: permission given for use of magic and force :: please tag Megaera in all posts ::
09-24-2016, 10:57 PM (This post was last modified: 09-24-2016, 11:01 PM by Cera.)
They will not want me near, Cera's soft vocals came across the bond, and Ilaria sighed softly and brushed her tail gently against his shoulder, trying to comfort him with slow waves of reassurance across their connection. Cera had found that, with the composition of his colors, it was far too easy to blend into the horizon and watch from afar. As he was doing in that moment, staring at the two winged mares who had gathered on the shore, two of his dearest friends. Friends he had singled out in the disaster of a herd meeting that had transpired beneath Sikeax's new reign. They love you, Cera. All families fight. You cannot avoid them forever, or they will begin to think the same thing. Ilaria's motherly voice crooned in response, her own warm eyes on the pair along the sea's edge. Cera sighed softly.
He knew she was right, knew if he began avoiding them out of misplaced guilt or whatever emotion it was swimming beneath the void of numbness, that it would only worsen with time. Potentially stripping away the friendships he so cherished, like acid eating away at the last of his emotional pillars.
He shuffled into motion like a creaking, dilapidated machine. Rusted and forgotten, cursed to wander the sands for eons until he faded into disrepair and awaited his death. Golden Prince. What was he Prince of? The Throat? Whatever lineage he had conjured out of brotherhood and love did not grant him any sort of power over this land. But perhaps Golden was only too fair a judgment of him. For he was easily tarnished, the weakest of metals, prized only for its gleaming appearance. But even that faded too quickly with time, revealing that Cera was nothing but a continued disappointment in all ways.
Had he disappointed Megaera and Ampere once again? How many times could he let them down before they decided he was not worth the effort, as so many others had?
They will only pity you if you pity yourself, Ilaria murmured firmly as he approached the mares. But Cera couldn't help but cling to the depression. It was better to hurt than feel nothing at all.
But just as his lips were parting, not even sure what he was going to say, Megaera turned to Ampere and spoke in his place.
”You’ll find me, won’t you? If ever I’m needed again?”
Cera's mouth went dry, heart stuttering to a halt in his scarred chest, and for a moment his soul was awash in such instant agony that he could scarcely think. And then, like a tidal wave, it passed through and over him. Leaving him submerged, floating, numb. As numb as Ranjiri's departure and Gaucho's death had made him.
Cera... Ilaria whispered, her paw reaching out as if to touch him. But she could not fix this. She could not comfort or shield him from this familiar, painful blow. Cera had withstood so much, but this would always be the one thing that could break him like no other. Abandonment. Isolation. Betrayal.
"You're leaving." And he could not even summon surprise at how dead and monotone his voice sounded as it escaped the prison of his clenched teeth. Ilaria went silent, her eyes sad as she looked towards the two women. "Are you nothing without Gaucho? Is this not your family without your rank?" And finally his voice wavered, like gazing down into the ocean and getting lost in the endless darkness, as far as the eye could see.
"I can't believe you," his voice shook, trying to sound accusatory but failing. Instead it only drew attention to the thick film of tears gathering on his hurting green eyes, the way his knees shook and his wings came forth to hug himself.
Even Ampere had temporarily abandoned them. And here was Megaera, surely leaving with her mate and plentiful children. What about me? his heart screamed. Why am I not enough to keep you here?
"I hope you find whatever you're looking for," he forced himself to spit, knowing he could not stand there any longer without dissolving into tears and angry shouting like a child. So he swallowed and dipped his head to her, as formal as he could manage, trying to rip away the threads she'd sewn into his heart. He didn't need her. He didn't need any of them. They would all leave anyways, so he would beat them to the punch. He would rip out every piece he'd ever taken from them, even if he bled to death in the process. It would hurt less than watching them all leave, one by one.
So Cera turned and walked away. He would not watch Megeara's back as she left him. She could watch his instead, so that maybe she would feel the dagger twist in her heart as it always did to Cera. And when he could not handle the bubbling fountain of emotion in his chest, Cera's long legs took him away from them, and his wings caught the air and carried him into a place where he didn't have to feel the pain of it anymore. So that maybe he could numb himself once more, kill and burn the child that forced the tears to his eyes, as if he was still only a few seasons old instead of a jaded man.
Jaded. That should have been his title. The Forgotten. Anything would have been better than a tarnished prince of nothing.
The hardest part of living is just taking breath to stay I know I'm good for something I just haven't found it yet
09-24-2016, 11:14 PM (This post was last modified: 09-24-2016, 11:15 PM by Ampere.)
Are you ready for
The perfect storm
Ampere was startled by the gaze that Megaera turned upon her. She had only known the mare as the strong and capable warrior, and to see something so deeply upset within her, so willingly (was it willingly?) exposed and raw, caught Ampere off guard. She was hardly one to talk - whatever strength everyone thought Ampere carried was surely forgotten beneath her frequent outbursts, whether rich with grief or anger. Except, that was Ampere, but Megaera had never been so open, at least, not to her.
Was this friendship?
Or was this just the depth of Megaera's loss?
Except, what? Though her ears turned towards the Sunspear's voice, she didn't think she heard her right, because what she said didn't make sense. "Well sure," Ampere started, her gaze holding steady the bleak one Megaera offered, but there was clearly a wrinkle in the edges as Ampere struggled to understand. "At the oasis, like always." That was the main spot for switching patrols, although Ampere didn't have the heart to tell Megaera she had no intention of doing any soon. She was too tangled up in her own despair still, something that likely addled her understanding in this moment, or so she thought. Because surely Megaera didn't mean ti imply she'd stand beside Ampere every time the herd got wily? Or did she just intend to have a partner to go against Sikeax, no matter the reason?
Ampere hadn't once considered that Megaera was mourning more than just Gaucho, more than just the new sultana, bur rather what that meant for the old.
Then the Golden Prince came, and with him, a new light, a new understanding. Ampere quietly reeled as Cera spat his words, more angry than Ampere had ever seen him. As she desperately tried to understand, her mind wading through a boggy sea of despair already, she gradually began to pin her ears and step back. It wasn't Cera that caused this though, rather what he said, or what it means. It's as if he were fire and she the dry wood taking to his flames and sustaining them.
So while Cera snuffed out and left, Ampere continued to blaze.
"What?" she asked, incredulous; wanting to believe for one more moment that somehow Cera had been wrong (like he'd been at the meeting). "You're not leaving, are you?" And yet Ampere had already started to distance herself, already started to dredge up the hard bite of anger that so easily came to her when other emotions were too much to deal with. She was hurt enough already by loss, did Megaera really have to add to it? She couldn't blame Gaucho, but she sure as hell could blame this breathing mare who was choosing.
"You can't!" she said forcefully, her resolve hardening as her gaze flashed across the Sunspear.
A M P E R E HALO OF COLD HAIR &_LIGHTNING
schwartz.deviantart.com
Tag me only if starting a new thread.
Magic or force permitted any time, aside from death.
10-03-2016, 11:16 PM (This post was last modified: 10-08-2016, 04:34 PM by Megaera.)
M E G A E R A
"We cast a shadow on something wherever we stand, and it is no good moving from place to place to save things; because the shadow always follows. Choose a place where you won't do harm - yes, choose a place where you won't do very much harm, and stand in it for all you are worth, facing the sunshine." -- E.M. Forster
Ampere didn’t understand, and amidst the doubt and the grief it stabbed at Meg to think that more than facing this decision she would have to articulate that she was leaving the Dragon’s Throat. She hesitated, wondering how she could say those words, how she could seal that final pact and take her leave but a voice interrupted. Cera, perhaps the one person who could make this even harder, said one flat sentence that had her quaking. Her dark eyes turned to find his and it tore at her inside to see that his face seemed just and hollow as his voice. "I… I must—" she started to offer some explanation, her own sadness ebbing as the need arose to sooth his, but he didn’t wait for her to speak. He took into his care the hopes she held that she still had friends here (that they would want her even if the Sun did not) and he tore them to shreds.
"Are you nothing without Gaucho? Is this not your family without your rank?"
It was everything she had feared; the perfect words to surgically slice her into ribbons and leave her flayed pieces out to sizzle and burn in the sun. Could she deny that there was even the smallest thread of truth to that? She had been embittered to think that the citizens of Dragon’s Throat would think those things and also torturously afraid that somewhere in her mind she thought those things of herself. Megaera couldn’t speak, not when her sweet gentle Cera had punched her so very hard in the gut. She could only gape at him, beseeching and horrified, shaking her head "no" because only he could punch air back into her winded lungs now.
"I can't believe you,"
Another kick in the ribs. Cera didn’t believe in her. The Sun God didn’t believe in her. Right at this moment Megaera didn’t believe in herself either. When had she become so weak that words could hurt so much. What would she give to go back four years to when she had first entered Helovia when no one had the power to hurt her like this? As a child she’d endured beating after beating and none had hurt quite like this. What had happened to them? What chords between them had been severed when she wasn't looking? Since the moment that had both stoop above Gaucho in defiance of the Gods, she had thought the bond they had made was unbreakable...but the lately they had only ever been at odds...and allways because Cera had found her lacking. "I hope you find whatever you're looking for,"He spat the words with a vitriol she would never have thought him capable of.
Looking for... Looking for? He said that like he didn't know. Yes, leaving she was leaving the Throat because everything now everything in it had been painted with regret, everything in it screamed at her that she had failed: as a Sultana, as a mother, as a friend. But leaving the Throat also meant looking for her daughter. Had no one else noticed that Asavvi had gone? Had no one taken a moment to question her absence before condemning her for it?! Megaera's desperate mind seized on that notion like it was the last drop of water in this desert. She seized onto that because it allowed her to be angry.
As her friend Cera turned his back on her, Meg's bewildered and broken expression darkened and she positively seethed. As Ampere's voice broke through with a firm command, Meg shot her a angry stare that glinted with nothing short of mutiny. How dare Ampere tell her she couldn't go? The indignity was too much and Meg had no words fit for the blue in that moment. Instead she turned back to hurl words at Cera's retreating form. "ASAVVI IS GONE!" She almost choked on the words but they tore through her ragged throat like wildfire. "Einarr and I have searched for weeks! If that makes me unfit for the Throat then it can BUUURN!!" Before this moment she would have aid that was blasphemy.
@Ampere
SO UH, FINALLY LANDED ON MAD AS THE ONLY WAY MEG CAN DEAL WITH THIIISSSSS.
FAC FORTIA ET PATERE
be brave and endure
:: permission given for use of magic and force :: please tag Megaera in all posts ::
Her teeth clenched as she returned Megaera's fierce glare with her own. Let the Sunspear be pissed at her, let her feel that bite, because it was the same one raking up Ampere's insides right now, that same damn betrayal and disappointment. Why was what Ampere really wanted to ask, but all she had managed was to shout, to block Megaera from it, because what the fuck, she couldn't leave!
She just couldn't!
Megaera yelled then, and something in Ampere let up briefly, her hard edges softening into something not quiet relaxed but not so sharp either. "What?" she asked, confusion gushing past her teeth which had loosened on each other. Her 'brows curved in again, but more with concern than lack of understanding. "Asavvi is gone?" she parroted dumbly. "Do you know why, or how?" SHe knew she didn't know where...
Then, the more Ampere thought about it, the more that hardness seeped back in.
"Why didn't you tell anyone!?" she asked more than accused, but it was a loud and fierce question. "We could have helped you! I could have helped you," Ampere licked her lips, her throat dry and hoarse, her eyes strained from too many tears shed. "I have a dagger that finds horses for Sun's sake Megaera!" Well, did, she gave it to her daughter recently, a small detail that escaped her in the heat of the moment. "You're not alone in this Megaera! You are our sister, we would have helped you!"
Ampere didn't understand. She didn't get why Megaera would have carried that burden alone. She knew, as mother, how terrible that would have been. She knew how heavily her vanishing act had taken a toll on her family. Megaera's emotions she knew, but her reasoning still seemed weak, and Ampere wanted to tear it to its foundation, because she felt there was more.
"So what does leaving do? Why would you run from the place she's most likely to look for you? Why would you leave a herd that would help you?"
"What's the real fucking truth Megaera, because your missing kid ain't what's making your abandon us."
A M P E R E HALO OF COLD HAIR &_LIGHTNING
schwartz.deviantart.com
Tag me only if starting a new thread.
Magic or force permitted any time, aside from death.
M E G A E R A
"We cast a shadow on something wherever we stand, and it is no good moving from place to place to save things; because the shadow always follows. Choose a place where you won't do harm - yes, choose a place where you won't do very much harm, and stand in it for all you are worth, facing the sunshine." -- E.M. Forster
There's a devil called love and his power is great and terrible; never in all the ages did a face seem so beautiful and hide such a twisted thing with the will to bring together and the strength to rip all asunder. This devil called love had bound a chord from Megaera's heart to Cera's, a friendship that could have held against any army but seemed to rip so easily when they pulled at each other. It was love that caused the hurt, and love that had the power to mend but both were blind to that, tried to hide that vulnerability from each other and themselves by pulling back and pushing away when both needed so fiercely to hold tight. Megaera had meant to leave him and in turn he'd left her, for the devil will have his due.
Meg had screamed blasphemy at Cera's retreating back, but even that had not been enough to bring him back. She seethed, staring as he disappeared across the dunes and reaching for the stength of need outrage and love anger in order to keep herself standing. Oh, would that that could have been the end of it, that she could have limped off to lick her wounds in peace. When, Megaera wondered, had battle become so much less exhausting than words; when had the bite of blade or teeth stung less than dismissal or disapproval? But that wasn't the end of it (the devil would never be so merciful) because Ampere was still there.
Megaera turned her eyes from the friend that was to the friend that might have been. And whey weren't they friends? Sisters-in-arms they might have been, but she and Ampere had danced so long around acquaintance and still she could not find a reason for it. Respect was there, at least on Meg's side, and now shared grief.
"Why didn't you tell anyone!?"
Why hadn't she? From the first moment, once she had been well enough to stand after Vastra and Castor's birth, why hadn't he raised the alarm? For fuck's sake, she could have lit a beacon and had the whole herd assembled within hours!
"You're not alone in this Megaera! You are our sister, we would have helped you!"
For a moment Meg's fierce eyes seemed to glaze over with the realization. It was her fault, whether that was truth or not, the idea that all this really was her fault sunk in and scoured her soul like a brand. No! her mind leaped to defend itself from utter despair. For right or for wrong, she wouldn't give in to it, she would fight, fight, FIGHT! Not my fault! It can't... I can't...I CAN'T!!
She reeled back as though Ampere had struck her, and so the Blue had with a hard slap of truth. And how could Meg respond? "Well, my mate said we should leave so I am going to tuck my tail and run because I and hurt and ashamed and afraid." Volley after volley of shame assailed Megaera and could have been delivered by no better mouth than Ampere, who Meg respected, who she had even liked, as much a true equal as Meg had ever had. Ampere could judge her in all ways without reproach: as a former Sultana, as a daughter of the Dragon's Throat, as a mother, as a warrior, as a woman.
She turned hard then, a wall to hold herself in and hold everything else out because how else could she survive this? "Because I have nothing left for this place. I have loved and I bled and for what? For her herd that thinks so very little of me." Her voice was flat, bitter. Whoever it was that spoke now was so far removed from Megaera that her face was like a mask somebody else wore, familiar features in strange expressions. "Help me? But I'm just a failure aren't I? A ruined pretender to the title of Sultana."
"Admit it! I am nothing to you or these people except a jumped-up soldier who needed Gaucho to spoonfeed her everything she ever had. His lacky and his stooge, who didn't even see that he was dying because she was too caught up with the worthless brats she'd pumped out for his cousin." There was no fire there, the light at the mare's core had grown so very dim, and not even ice to replace it. Nothing but stone. "I'm leaving, Ampere, because even the sand makes me sick."
I think I broke her.
FAC FORTIA ET PATERE
be brave and endure
:: permission given for use of magic and force :: please tag Megaera in all posts ::
M E G A E R A
"We cast a shadow on something wherever we stand, and it is no good moving from place to place to save things; because the shadow always follows. Choose a place where you won't do harm - yes, choose a place where you won't do very much harm, and stand in it for all you are worth, facing the sunshine." -- E.M. Forster
She'd regret that wild buck later, the movement of her entire body in that was was like the devil's own punch to the places Ampere had already struck her. She landed from it on legs that quaked beneath her; landed hard on the blessed sand and rock of the Throat and listed to the left holding that lopsided position as she tried to catch her breath.
Breathing, however was a killer. Her neck had taken two bruising bites, the one at her throat just starting to clot and staunch its own bleeding, but her ribs, dear got her ribs... Ampere had kicked her well and good, and each small, shallow breath Meg took had pain radiating from that spot. Under her earthen hide bruises blossomed like windflowers and as much as they hurt now, as much as they would hurt later, they were just as beautiful. Each one made Megaera feel more like herself, something she suspected she hadn't been in a while.
She heard Ampere's voice behind her, could almost sense the smirk on her lips abut Meg kept her back turned for a long moment as she tried to pull herself together. Both were spent but she suspected that if she kept her at it Ampere would fight with her until the sun rose in the west and set in the east; odd how precious that fact seemed.
Ampere cared. Even if the herd was lost to Meg, even if the Sun disowned her and Cera hated her, Ampere cared and that was more than she'd thought she had. The blue might show it with blade and blows but, as Gwaihir had realized, there were no better ways to communicate with someone like Meg. Words would be discounted (Meg had spewed enough lies today to prove that), but this was physical, tangible, indisputably true. Healing would take time, that was true, there had been too many ragged emotions tearing through her today for her to make sense of now. She'd been drowning, a creature of land and sky with her head too far underwater, but Ampere had pulled her back to solid ground.
"Did I give the impression that I planned on going anywhere else? Can't imagine where you got that idea." She couldn't quite bring herself to smile like Ampere did, but when Meg finally turned to find the mare her brow was raised. What better way of saying "Yeah, you win you ornery bitch, and thank all the Gods for it"
She turned her body, gingerly, and moved toward Ampere, bending on her way to lift the fallen spear from the ground and tuck it into her wing joint. She saught the bright blue eyes with a sobered expression "I should have been here for all of you...when Gaucho-" her rasping voice cut off as the grief bubbled. Untainted now by the misplaced anger she had tried to guard herself with Meg could just let herself feel it. Tears didn't fall, she was done with those pitiful things, but "Fuck, Ampere, I thought he was invincible."
FAC FORTIA ET PATERE
be brave and endure
:: permission given for use of magic and force :: please tag Megaera in all posts ::
Megaera's response was a wash of relief across Ampere's body. Though it did nothing to staunch the pain that pulsed in tempo with her heart beat, the blood pounding raw against her bruises and battered bits, it at least was something soothing to her equally tortured heart and soul. The tension she hadn't even noticed she'd retained, waned, and whatever strong front Ampere had managed to put on crumbled away into dust.
She could only proffer a weak smile to Megaera's words, though it quickly slipped into a slanted frown, born as much of her physical aches as emotional ones. "I hope you mean that. Stay here, at least for a day. I can't hold you forever...I won't, not if you truly want to leave." That's just it, isn't it? Megaera hadn't really wanted to go, that was the truth beneath all of this. She just felt like she couldn't stay, and Ampere needed her to face that, because, "I need you, Megaera." Ampere's eyes fluttered as she blinked longer than usual, dry throat gulping against the agony and despair swirling around inside of her. "We need you."
She swayed on the spot, head held low to help balance her as she mirrored the bay mare and gingerly picked up the knife she'd tossed into the fray, stowing it back in her sheath with an electric hand.Her injured wing was loosely tucked at her side, but her other one extended towards Megaera as they moved towards each other in this moment of mourning. "I did too," she forcefully whispered in response to Megaera, the words shaky as she exhaled them past trembling lips. Unlike her sister, Ampere was still accosted by tears, and silently they spilled down her cheeks now as the bay mare dredged up what Ampere had managed to hide for this brief fight. It had been a nice respite while it lasted, a distraction from the reality Ampere was forced to face- a life without Gaucho.
"I had never worried about him," she managed after a moment of regaining composure. "Because he'd always been so strong." Not just a physical strength, but Ampere knew she didn't have to clarify that for this mare. "I just wish I knew why," she pressed the confession from her lips with an almost bitter edge. "Why he-" she couldn't bring herself to say died, not this early. "Why he couldn't be healed. Why the Sun didn't save him. Why now... why him." Why not her?! Ampere had done so much wrong in her lifetime, didn't she deserve to die in his stead? He had so much left to give, and she was just a shadow in comparison. So why him?
Gods, why.
A M P E R E HALO OF COLD HAIR &_LIGHTNING
schwartz.deviantart.com
Tag me only if starting a new thread.
Magic or force permitted any time, aside from death.
M E G A E R A
"We cast a shadow on something wherever we stand, and it is no good moving from place to place to save things; because the shadow always follows. Choose a place where you won't do harm - yes, choose a place where you won't do very much harm, and stand in it for all you are worth, facing the sunshine." -- E.M. Forster
It was so remarkably easy, felt so natural, that the two mares would be drawn together, that they would reach for each other in this time of grief. They'd both dealt and received vicious blows not moments ago but would hold no grudge towards the other. They could consign their actions to catharsis and come together to mourn.
Megaera reached out with a wing as Ampere did and wrapped the mare in a gentle embrace, briefly dropping her brow to Ampere's. She pulled back to see tears falling from blue eyes, watched them fall to the dusty ground like the ones she had shed before Cera and Ampere had found her. They had taken their turns to weep, and as Ampere had been there to try and support Meg, it was Meg's turn to be the silent supporter.
She listened as her sister gave her cracked voice to all the unanswerable questions: Why Gaucho? Why now? What could they have done to save him? She could only shake her head slowly to show how at a loss she was. She would stay, she would face what came now-that decision had been irreversibly made but that didn't mean Meg had the faintest notion of how to start, how to move forward when all that had happened was so horribly fucked up beyond any reason she possessed. "It should have been me. If death or fate or Gods had needed some sacrifice, it should have taken me for its due not him... never him!"
He had meant so much to so many and death had taken him even when it was she who had been lacking, she who had failed. Perhaps she did have more tears, though no matter how many spilled they couldn't fill the gap that the Wildfire had left. They burned in her eyes again and left her gasping "I... I didn't love him, not it the way you did, I think, but for so long he was everything." Gaucho had found her when she was young and angry and empty, anything good she'd ever had had started with him so how could in not end at his passing? How could she rebuild on a decaying foundation? "He gave me my life! I don't know how to live it if he's not here."
FAC FORTIA ET PATERE
be brave and endure
:: permission given for use of magic and force :: please tag Megaera in all posts ::
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