the Rift


[PRIVATE] like sleep to the freezing

Megaera the Sunspear Posts: 306
Absent Abyss atk: 6.5 | def: 10.5 | dam: 4.5
Mare :: Pegasus :: 15 h :: 8 [Birdsong] HP: 70 | Buff: NOVICE
Gwaihir :: Golden Eagle :: None Laine
#1
Sunspear


Atonement. That was the watchword for Meg now. Ampere's beating had done much to rekindle the fire in her heart and now it burned all the brighter. Yes, there was still pain in he; there was grief and fear and remorse for all that she had done and failed to do but now she was ready to face it. The fallen Sunspear had let herself be lured by darkness. She had thought to seek solace in solitude and anonymity by leave the home she loved and trying to convince herself that it did not want her. But Ampere (thank all the Gods for Ampere) had opened Megaera eyes enough to see that that kind of cowardice would not have saved Meg, it would have killed her.

It wouldn't be an easy road, that she knew. Meg did not think for a second that the pain she had caused could be glossed over with a few empty words. It could take years to earn back the trust of her herd, of her friends, maybe she'd never do enough or be enough to be worthy of them, but that could not stop her now. She would give herself over to service of the Sun, to the good of the Throat, not for reward or praise or position but because she could do nothing less.

Sun above, give me strength

She sought him out in the oasis in the still cold hours of the early morning.  The Sunspear was moving slowly as she'd not yet recovered from her fight; the blood had been washed away, but the scrapes and swelling were still evident.  She stopped as she neared, already unsure about how he would react to her presence, but he apprehension redoubled when she saw that he had is own share of injuries too. "Cera?" Her voice was quiet, as gentle as it was capable of being. It reached out to the stallion both to soothe and to beg. Please, let me apologize, let me be your friend again.

coding by tamme :: art by blu
@Cera

FAC FORTIA ET PATERE
be brave and endure
:: permission given for use of magic and force :: please tag Megaera in all posts ::

Cera the Golden Prince Posts: 419
Outcast atk: 5.5 | def: 9.5 | dam: 4.5
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 16.3hh :: 6 Years HP: 65 | Buff: NOVICE
Ilaria :: Red Panda :: Heal Brit
#2



Cera thought he might find peace, here. Where the magnolia tree's barren branches stretched into the sky, familiar and comforting. Instead he stood and surveyed the scuffled ground by the base of the tree and could only hear a wailing cry from the caverns of his heart. He had stopped sleeping here, when Ranjiri had left. It had stopped feeling like home, after that. It had stopped feeling like home a long time ago, but Ranjiri had always been most important. 

Ilaria cooed softly at him, her mind gently reaching out to try and touch his, not sure how to help him after all the events that had transpired. Cera jerked like he'd touched a live wire, slamming his mind shut against her and turning away from the long shadow of the tree beneath the winter sunlight budding on the horizon. Ilaria whined softly, the only way he could really hear her now that he'd shut himself against her. Trailed after him tentatively as the Prince trudged listlessly towards the oasis, needing to be away from the landmark of his past. Happier times he could never get back, now. 

The water was too frigid to waltz in as he foolishly wanted to. Drown away his sorrows in a way that really mattered. He had no tears left to shed, though. There was no reason to be so petty and dramatic when he felt so hollow and burned out on the inside. His spirit had died beneath the onslaught of his own bitterness, the break in his soul that had dimmed the light and let the darkness bleed through. If Ampere could be loved by the Sun with all her emotion, her rage, her passion, then why couldn't Cera? Why couldn't he challenge those who had wronged him, shout and scream injustice to the stoic heavens? There had never been a rulebook for that. And he was just so fucking tired.

One hoof lashed out and kicked the water angrily, face twisted into a snarl that didn't fit his normally happily smiling face. But he had not smiled in far too long, anyways, so what did it matter anymore if he did or not? 

"Cera?"

The Prince flinched and went still, one hoof still in the water, feeling as if ice had suddenly filled his veins. Without Ilaria being allowed into his thoughts, she could not warn him of Megaera's approach - if she even would have, with her thoughts on all that had transpired between the pair of them. He remained frozen for long, drawn out moments. Scarcely breathing as he tried to sort through the sudden onslaught of emotions that arose with her appearance; anger, despair, bitter triumph, hatred, unfair hope.

"Sunspear," he finally greeted, tone perfectly level if a bit icy. He slowly withdrew his hoof from the water, never turning his gaze from his rippling reflection. "So I suppose you're staying?" A harsher bite to the words this time, frozen veins warming and shuddering back to life, already heating up towards adrenaline and anger. Cera, Ilaria whispered through the gaps in his shields against her, trying to calm him. Cera took a shuddering breath through his nostrils and turned to face her with his one good eye. Unashamed of his appearance, the blood all down his neck, his badly burned hindquarters. 

"What do you want Megaera." And it had been so long since he'd called her by her full name that it made the chasm between them seem so much larger by comparison. But at least he was listening. At least he was here and not screaming or turning and walking away from her. At least she had a chance.

image credits
table by whit
Please only tag starting posts, spars, and threads collecting dust!

Megaera the Sunspear Posts: 306
Absent Abyss atk: 6.5 | def: 10.5 | dam: 4.5
Mare :: Pegasus :: 15 h :: 8 [Birdsong] HP: 70 | Buff: NOVICE
Gwaihir :: Golden Eagle :: None Laine
#3
Sunspear


His name hung desperately from her lips, a prayer as holy as any she had ever uttered. The Sunspear had to rebuild her life and her family but was so unsure how to ask them to forgive her. She was not yet sure if shou could forgive herself. Pride and assurance in her own independence had been her downfall and now, realizing how much she had needed the support of those she love, they all seemed to be flitting away from her. If Gaucho was gone, if Einarr had been lost to the the wilderness, she needed Cera. Her mentor, her lover, her friend: Megaera's holy trinity. To loose one was devastating, two was catastrophic...She thought three might surely kill her.

It was no balm to her conscience that Cera looked as bad as he must be feeling. Meg's gaze fell on mark after mark and each mark made her flinch as if they had been inflicted on him by her own hand. These marks of Gaucho or Einarr would have filled her with pride; to her those two had represented Strength and Passion but Cera had always been Goodness. It was he she would have always sought to shelter from harm, and not because she though him weak, but because he was gentleness itself. She had seen his strength, his passion, even before she knew him, when they had stood together over Gaucho. None could say he did not have the Sun's fire in him, but more than anyone in her life he had held the purest light.

She wanted to rush to him, to find a healer for his wounds and soothe his hurts but he spoke and his voice was a dark and terrible thing in her hears. His words struck at her heart like shard of ice, and she welcomed the pain of it. She deserved that pain. She didn't dare move forward, knowing one wrong move could send him beyond her reach. Even though he started resolutely at the water beneath him, he did not attack, did not run. The Sunspear wondered whether she dared hope; she scarcely dared to breathe. She did not answer his first words yet, if she was here she would remain here.

His fury she could have withstood (Ampere's had only strengthened her resolve) but the way he turned to her and spoke her name created such a terrible frigid distance between them. Her pain redoubled in her chest but she did not recoil from it. This was her shot, possibly her one single solitary shot, and she would not back down from saying what she meant to say.

She began slowly, speaking each word as a solemn oath, her voice strong and unwavering even as her eyes watered with emotion. "I was prideful and selfish, I failed this herd, our God, and Cera I failed you. I was a terrible fool, the think I could leave what I love--who I love behind because I was to hurt to face them. There is no apology I can give for the things that I have done and said that makes me worthy of forgiveness. I am not worthy."

"But Cera, I could no more leave this place, leave you than I could rip my own heart from my chest. I must beg forgiveness anyway because my life will be worth nothing if I cannot spend every minute left of it trying to win back the faith I have broken with you and our Almighty God!" Every word she spoke gave her more conviction and without warning she reached under here wing to unsheathe her gilded spear and she stepped forward to place it at Cera's feet. She sought his gaze, tried to hold it. "I swear upon this holy steel, I will remain in the Dragon's Throat until the breath of life leaves my body. If the Sun would have it otherwise, may his servant drive this through me and pierce my heart."


coding by tamme :: art by blu
FAC FORTIA ET PATERE
be brave and endure
:: permission given for use of magic and force :: please tag Megaera in all posts ::

Cera the Golden Prince Posts: 419
Outcast atk: 5.5 | def: 9.5 | dam: 4.5
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 16.3hh :: 6 Years HP: 65 | Buff: NOVICE
Ilaria :: Red Panda :: Heal Brit
#4


For a minute he nearly thinks something blasphemous, something unfairly hateful as Megaera's presence pins him to the earth like a wounded rabbit beneath her companion's talons. But even he cannot blame this meeting on something so detached and powerful as a god, not when he brought this on himself with his too-big heart and his inability to express his fears and despairs. Even now, standing across from the one he can scarcely stand to look upon, it's easier to put the blame on himself than to hate her for her actions. The gold of his love for her may be blackened and tarnished, but it cannot be washed away. Not this easily, or this quickly. Maybe ever. 

Which makes him hate her all the more, for gripping his heart in her tar stained hands and demanding through her tears that he love her when he has already given her everything he has to give. That she keeps him unfairly rooted here, in this space he doesn't want to occupy, where his skin doesn't fit and their relationship lies in shambles. That Megaera ask this of him. Because the Sunspear is selfish enough to make him hurt by asking him to forgive again, to keep loving her when his heart is already too broken to even beat properly and keep himself going.

Sometimes the Golden Prince fears that his dying breath will be heralded by giving too much away from his beating heart, that it can no longer physically sustain the needs of his body. That his heart will fail, and he will die loving. 

Perhaps it's not such a bad way to go, to die from loving so hard he could not even spare an ounce of love for himself. 

She speaks, and he listens. Even now he cannot deny her that, and he stares continuously as she speaks. As she repents. His soul stirs in agony of understanding because he doesn't want to understand her. He doesn't want to forgive, to empathize, to see himself in her eyes as they stare at one another. He looks at her and sees a smaller version of himself from years ago, kneeling at his Lord's shrine and crying with all the grief his body could supply, praying in supplication for forgiveness and deliverance from the hate he had fostered in his heart. 

It is harder to forgive than it is to hate, Cera. Onni told you that. Our Lord told you that. Cera flinched against Ilaria's soft, sad voice. But she would not be ignored, not in the space between Megaera's breaths as she fought the Sunspear's battle in the mind of her bonded. Look at her. Cera, look at her. Do you want to lose this too?

Cera's breath shuddered from him unevenly at the impact of her words. The glint of steel directs his eye back to Megaera and her impassioned speech, feeling his own spirit twitching weakly, trying to reclaim its fervor and rise to meet her. The spear was placed at his hooves, and Cera stared at it in silence, aware of the magnitude of this motion. This decision. And her words finally jolted him into motion, and he smoothly lifted one hoof and planted it firmly on the metal of her spear, staring into her eyes. 

"I have never known you to run from a battle, Meg. There is pride in your heart, and it is easily wounded, but you are no coward." She never could be, not with the fire that burned in her heart as steadily as it did in Cera's. There was a reason the two had been so close, after all. They were kindred spirits. 

"This isn't forgiveness. After Midas, and Hector, and Gaucho...it was never you I suspected would try to leave this family. To leave me." His jaw firmed and teeth clenched decisively, and he tapped his hoof against the metal of her spear. "I will hold your vow. With this spear, with all that signifies who you are, I swear my own." The Prince stepped forward and pushed his forehead up against hers, seeking to send her back a few steps in a motion more familiar among siblings. Something like tough love, like bruises and side-eyed glares beneath their mother's eyes. 

"No more. No more running. No more silence. If again you lose your sight against the light of our Lord and run cowardly away from His glory, may he guide my aim when I pin you to these sands with your own spear. And may you do the same to me if my heart ever strays." It was all he could offer her. A mutual vow, one that was archaic, almost barbaric in its wording. But his eye softened and he reached down to pick up her spear, offering it to her and waiting for her to grab it before he spoke once more. 

"Now take it and be the Sunspear. Not Gaucho's shadow, not a passing Sultana, not a cowardly soldier running for the horizon. Be the Sunspear. Because our Lord named you in his image, and it is his image we strive to replicate. Nobody else. Stop living in doubt of your own abilities, Megaera, because you are so much more than a supporting figure." His harsh voice surprised him, considering he was chiding her for her self-doubt instead of attacking her as he had previously. A soft sigh escaped his lips and he turned to look back at the water, his face crestfallen. 

"This herd needs you, Megaera. Even when you want to give up on yourself, you can't give up on them." It was all that had kept Cera going, all these years. They didn't need him like they needed Meg. But he would stay nonetheless, until the gods called his soul to the heavens to rest with his fathers where he belonged. And if he yearned for that day to come soon...well, Ilaria could not tell them of the dark thoughts that plagued the Prince's mind. 

image credits
table by whit
Please only tag starting posts, spars, and threads collecting dust!


Forum Jump:


RPGfix Equi-venture