Rexanna

“M-mom?”

The world stopped spinning. The noise died away from those professing the reasoning of the gifts they hung on the tree. Suddenly, it was as if she held her breath and the eerie silence cut and tore at her in a brilliant flash of gold. The heads that kept her from the voice began to vanish until her head jerked in the correct direction of the sound.

“Mom!”

She didn’t even look for Tembovu or her twins. Her legs carried her while her mind sat dully and unbelieving. Could it be? Could it really be that just after her second son had been found, her first born was just around the corner? She tore away from Tembovu and the twins, aiming straight for Rein. His beautifully matured gilded face adorned with markings of blood. Born from a Thief and a Priest, and looking anything but.

And if she bumped into anyone on her pinpointed direction toward her child, she didn’t even apologize. This was far too important to her. Just simply seeing the boy relieved her heart while simultaneously opening a further sore. Oh, she remembered the blood knife he pointed at her throat. She remembered the words she had said to him – of how she’d die for him, because that’s what mothers did. And even though she wasn’t and hadn’t been a great mother, she still was his mother. And despite the crowds of faces she had seen many times, she always sought for his.

It helped, too, that despite the ever change in his voice as it grew deeper and raspier, filled with emotions, she’d always recognize it. Even the slightest hiccup, the slightest breath, she’d know it was his. And she aimed to collide with the bloody mess of her eldest son. “Rein.” She cried to him – her body numb except for the places her body yearned to touch his. He was a fire within her, a storm of emotions as the tears fell from her mascara marked eyes. The pain in her joints no longer an option, the searing heat from her tears were barely felt. All the feeling she had now went entirely to him. “You – You’ve grown.” A slight stutter as she looked upon him with glazed tearful eyes.

If she hadn’t remembered that there was a crowd here that they were in the middle of, she would have cried to him. To confess that she was a horrible mother, and how she had always wished he had the best despite the things she couldn’t provide. She wanted to be the one to tell him she left the Basin. She wanted to be the one to tell him all of these things, but she never could find him to utter the words. Perhaps if she was more of a mother she would have been able to search for her beautiful son, to tell him everything she could.

And as if that wasn’t shattering – the fact that there were more children among her family. And oh, she wanted to tell him first. She wanted to be sure he knew that she wasn’t trying to replace him. That he would always be her first living, breathing son. And how she was terrified as she laid upon the borders of the Basin at dusk as she gave birth to him, horrified that her womb was cursed and that he wouldn’t even be able to take his first breath. But he had, and he had grown strong despite the blood that leaked down his leg. “Can I help? I-I want to help you Rein. Do you need a healer? We can, I can – please just let me help.” Her words were a jumbled mess as the creases of her eyes grew sad. “I’m so sorry.”

"Talk."

Rexanna

Here he was, standing before her in all his nearly adult glory. His muscles filled out, he had grown taller and was almost her height at this point. His eyes gleamed with a brilliant light of determination and strength, but seemed etched with lines of sadness and regret. It was the lines that caused Rexanna’s stomach to ache, to yearn for her child as she reminisced on his innocent youth, of the stories she’d told him while he curled against her in the darkness of their cave in the Basin as the small bugs and bats made their home along with them.

It all began to melt away when the colt pressed his muzzle into her skin, her head wrapping around his neck and pulling him close to her as she held him tightly to her – afraid that he might vanish at the idea of her letting him go. And as she tried to say she wanted to help him, that she wanted him to never leave again, he shook his head and touched her muzzle carefully and gently. She closed her eyes, trying to remove the glossiness the tears had caused as she inhaled his scent deeply – reminded of the way despite where he went, that his own unique smell never changed.

“I’m the one who should be sorry. I’m sorry.”

She shook her head to him, searching his gaze once again. “Maybe – Maybe we can catch up? After all this is over?” She stuttered as she questioned him, her head tilting and eyes eager for his agreement. She felt the slight gaze of Tembovu land on her, but she refused to acknowledge the King while she was here – speaking with her first born living son. The first child she had ever given life to – the first one she had given her heart to.

“Will you come back to the Edge with me? It’s not as cold as the Basin, and there’s plenty of people around to meet and do things with.” She questioned again, hopeful while still carrying a pit of despair deep within her chest at the chance he might say no. "And you can be with me, and I'll be able to show you the love I never could before" He was old enough now, she couldn’t stop him if he wanted to leave, but she wanted him there with her – to be her little boy again. To at least see some part of his growing up, seeing as she had missed far more than she wanted to admit.

"Talk."

Rexanna

“I’d like that.” He mentioned to her when she asked if they could catch up. Relief swelled in her breast momentarily, eyes seeking his as his lips brushed away the various tears that had slipped from her black rimmed eyes. She wanted to hug him close, to never let him leave her sight as she had decided with all of her children as of late, but he was a strong independent young stallion now. She had to come to terms with the fact that he could make his own decisions now. And she would have to respect the choices he made – just as she had to respect the way the boy followed after his father.

Of course it was hard for him to grow up with a family that rarely spoke to one another. With a mother that didn’t love the father, where there was the idea of trying to be parented by those who appeared to be strangers with one another. It was hard, and if anyone should know a thing or two about that it’s her. And oh, how she didn’t want him to have to grow up like that. It was the past, and the past stayed there. There was no use bringing it to light, and so in the dark it would remain.

As she asked him to come to the Edge with her, she was almost hesitant. Afraid of the answer, but reluctantly willing to accept it nonetheless. She averted her blue gaze from his own sapphire ones, staring gently at his blood splattered chest. Patiently, Rexanna waited for the dreaded words to leave her son’s lips, of how he had a duty to his father, and how he’d need to return to the Clovenheart at some point. And suddenly, she realized how wrong she was in her ways of how many times she had turned down Tembovu by saying those exact words. The thought of it hurt, sending a ripple of pain through her hide as it twitched as a reaction.

But those words she expected didn’t come from her beautiful boy’s lips. Instead, he almost seemed anxious and hopeful all the same. “Are you sure it would be okay for me to be there?” What did he mean by that? Was it because of Tembovu? Because of the idea that despite the happy family they had made up in the borders of the misted land, that he wouldn’t be welcome there with open arms? She knew she would. And if Tembovu didn’t she knew that she would fight tooth and nail to make sure her boy was happy.

That’s what mothers did, after all.

So she looked up, so sure as a small smile grew on the corners of her lips. “Of course, Rein.” She began, reaching for his neck slowly, aiming to brush her exotic striped face into his beautifully gilded fur. “I want you there, if you want to be there. I just want you to be happy, and I’d like to not miss out on any more of your growing up.” She spoke softly to him, her smile quavering and brittle, afraid of rejection. “No matter how much you grow up, you’ll always be my little boy.” Her voice had shifted to a whisper as she pulled her head away, her eyes seeking out his own. “And if anyone has a problem with you coming home with me, I’ll fight them for you.” Her gaze had grown hard, and perhaps a bit colder than she’d like. She wanted him to know that she wouldn’t let anyone get in between her and her child ever again.

"Talk."