V E S P E R
"Because even the stars they burn, some even fall to the earth"

I simply nodded when Papa spoke to me and followed quickly in his footsteps, still reeling from the very idea that we were to be collecting dead things.  This was unlike anything I’d ever been asked to do, and more than that the very idea sent a trickle of fear down my spine. I tried to smile at Lyra’s antics, knowing that she was trying to cheer me up, but I knew my effort was feeble at best.  Everly was concerned too, and came to ride on my withers once we cleared the majority of the group - distressed at the mood that had clouded my mind.  

When we finally stopped walking, I wasn’t entirely sure where we were.  I hadn’t been paying much attention to where we were, to be honest.  I stared, blankly, out over the diseased-looking lands.  I reached out a cloven hoof to brush aside a withered fern, only to recoil when the plant revealed a broken piece of bone beneath. 

“Papa,” I started, finally speaking though I didn’t meet his gaze.  Instead my silver gaze drifted back out over the long-dead lands, littered with bones and other dead things.  I shivered, involuntarily.  Something about this place, this task shook me to my insides. It wasn’t even that I didn’t want to collect bones for Kisamoa, but I didn’t think I even could. A ragged sigh escaped my lips as another shudder tore through me.  I pulled my wings tightly to my sides, trying to hold myself together physically if my mind was going to pieces.  So I tried again.   “Papa do we have to collect bones for Kisamoa?” I asked, finally looking up at him.  I’m sure that he could see the emotion in my eyes - it was written all over my face, really - the hesitation, the uncertainty, the fear that this task had inspired.  All foreign to me. 

And it was unsettling. 

I wanted to make sure that he understood, but at the same time I just didn’t have the words to make him understand everything that was going on in my head. “I’m scared, Papa. And I don’t want to go in there. I don’t want to dig up bones. I just don’t think I can do it.”  The words are quiet, but unwavering. It’s clear that this isn’t something I’ll be convinced of.  I let out another ragged breath before I closed my eyes and pressed my head against his shoulder.  It was something I used to do with Mama when I was very young - just stand next to her and listen to her heart beat and the sounds of air filling her lungs.  But now there was no Mama.  No Virga.  It was only me and Papa now.  

Maybe that’s why I was so afraid to go in the dead land, because I was secretly afraid that maybe I’d find someone I loved in there buried among the bones.  But deep down I don’t think that was it.  I wish I could explain what it was, but it just felt wrong and it made my insides burn just to think about. 

V E S P E R
"Because even the stars they burn, some even fall to the earth"

I watched, without really seeing as Lyra leapt to action and buried the exposed fragment of bone.  My mind was absolutely racing but totally paralyzed at the same time.  As a result I just felt sort of stuck, overwhelmed with a feeling of dread and apprehension that I couldn’t even explain.  Deep down I was happy that someone understood, even if it was just a baby fox.  But my current state kept me from reaching out and brushing my nose against the little fox like I wanted.  Everly let out a mournful chirp in distress, unable to comprehend the overwhelming emotions, but unable to take the moment to look to Lucius for guidance in the moment. 

Time seemed to slow as I stared out upon the decay.  But finally Papa’s voice called me back. I released the breath I hadn’t even realized I was holding all in one big huff.  The fresh air that refilled my lungs seemed to unlock my frozen muscles.  Slowly I raised my eyes to look up at Papa - eyes incapable of masking anything. Deception was one thing that I had no skill in - I hadn’t had a reason to learn such a thing.  So every emotion I felt - relief, gratitude, lingering hesitation, love - shone brightly in endless pools of silver. I smiled, well as much as I felt like I could smile at the moment.  It was a pitiful effort, but I was still constructing the words.   “Thank you,” I whisper, leaning more of my weight into Papa’s warm, comforting side.  

My interest grows as he describes the shrines that exist in the healthy part of this land, the part that isn’t so foreboding. The idea of learning about the other Gods piques my interest and helps some of the fear melt away. ”Oh yes. I’d like that!” I say, eagerly, my excitement growing.  Maybe grandmama or one of the other Gods will know something of Virga, and of course it will be important to learn about them so I can find him one day.  I take a few steps in the direction that Papa indicated, finally feeling comfortable enough to leave his side before I freeze in my steps. 

“Do you think he’ll be mad, Papa? If we don’t bring him any bones?”  I still couldn’t shake that underlying fear of this God that wanted the bones of the fallen, even if his intentions seemed outwardly pure. 

V E S P E R
"Because even the stars they burn, some even fall to the earth"

I trusted Papa implicitly, so when I looked to him for an answer about Kisamoa, the hesitation that had been lingering had all but evaporated. I may not trust the Sea-God’s intentions, but I certainly trusted Papa.  And as Papa explained why he thought that even though we hadn’t completed his task, Kisamoa wouldn’t be angry I held on to every word.  And I was inclined to believe Papa because, up to this point, Kisamoa had been nothing but kind and reasonable when he stood in front of everyone - including Grandmama. However, that still did little to shake off my hesitations about this task.  I just couldn’t. “Yes. You’re right,” I said with a nod, feeling my confidence slowly returning with each step further from the decay and closer to the Gods.

But it’s Papa’s next statement that catches my attention and lodges in my mind. My ears snap forward and I whirl around to face him - eyes wide with excitement. “Maybe we can ask the Earth God!” I trill, my excitement restored.  It only made sense - if Kisamoa claimed that the Earth God had sent him to do this task...that they should check with the Earth God himself!  Of course I had no idea that the Gods didn’t always appear to those who came to their shrines. At least not yet.  But the prospect of having someone to ask - some way to verify Kisamoa’s intent breathed new life into me. 

Inwardly, selfishly, I hoped the Gods could answer more of my questions too not just those I had about Kisamoa. Maybe the Gods could help Papa and me find Mama and Virga.  However I knew better than to expect that of them.  However it didn’t stop me from hoping.  That hope moved my legs more quickly, made my heart beat more quickly, and made me even more eager to leave this place behind and find the shrines of Helovia’s four patrons. 

V E S P E R
"Because even the stars they burn, some even fall to the earth"

The walk wasn’t far, but with each step I felt my energy returning as opposed to draining away. I felt lighter now that I felt like there was a place here in Helovia where I could find some clarity even though this whole situation had done nothing but cloud my mind. I had never had much appreciation for the Gods before today. Well, I did for grandmama, of course, but I hadn’t given much thought to the other Gods. Clearly I needed to pay all of them more attention. I knew that there were seers back in the Edge who’s job was to take care of everything pertaining to the Gods. I made a note to seek them out as soon as we’d finished, or not finished, this task.

I followed Papa, wondering when we would come across the shrines to the Gods. I was expecting something large and extravagant dedicated to each of them - clearly marked structures with tributes. I had only had a few minutes to craft what I thought they looked like in my mind, but my imagination had been busy. What we found was not at all what I expected. There was no extravagance. No offerings. No towering structures reaching up towards the heavens. If anything, the shrines looked like they needed tending for if I hadn’t known what they were, I may have walked right past them. They were black and almost appeared in disrepair - nothing like how I imagined a shrine to a God to look. I had half a mind to try to clean them, repair them, decorate them. However that was not why we were here today.

At Papa’s question I stepped closer to the shrines, stepping forward hesitantly. I glanced back at him, uncertainly, before examining the shrines more closely. “I think this one is you mother’s,” I said, confidently, gesturing to the crumbling stones marked with symbols of wind I recalled from home. I stepped over to a neighboring shrine, covered in coals and ash, and said simply “Sun,” again confident in my choice. That left two - Earth and Time. One of the shrines was split in two and on the other a strange, glowing flowers grew among the stone. ”Well, the one with flowers must be the Earth’s, so Time’s must be split in half.” I finished, looking to Papa for confirmation.

I then stepped back to Papa’s side, again seeking his comfort. “How would we ask the Earth God about Kisamoa? Does he know we’re here? And what happened to the shrines? They look like they’ve been...ruined.”