the Rift


Forgotten Savages [Erebos vs. Mortuus Nox]

Erebos Posts: 474
Aurora Basin General atk: 7.5 | def: 11.5 | dam: 6.5
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 16.1hh :: Four HP: 75.5 | Buff: DANCE
Orsino :: Plain Kitsune :: Dark Illusions & Enyo :: Common Griffon :: Draining Clutch Heather
#1
EREBOS
They’d spent too many days locked in foolishness. He could only see and realize it now, after Kisamoa (Kaos) had revealed his true nature, after he’d enticed and ensnared, after he’d tricked and deceived, after he’d coaxed them all through wiles and duplicity (greed, the most inspiring vice of all) - weakness had exploited their hearts and minds, left them boneless and insipid, stupid and ineffectual.
 
While the prince only wanted to grief for the father he’d lost, he knew, realized deep down in the marrow of his bones and the searing potency of his blood, that he couldn’t be consumed by agony, by misery, while the rest of the world strived to overcome their greatest adversary.
 
All of them needed to be strong. All of them needed to be effective. All of them needed to be conniving, specious pieces of potency and fortitude.
 
His responsibilities yielded to his soldiers, his warriors, his tenacious, unwinding demons and infidels, the swords drawn, the rapiers slashing, the cutlasses extended, ready, eager for the fray. But it couldn’t end there, not now, not ever, when havoc had spilled across the realm and they’d been left with no answers, no ways, no methods, no means to destroy it. So Erebos, the young General, the mighty, the proud, the stalwart, made it a personal mission to ensure each member of the Basin could protect and shield their bodies, their minds, and their souls.
 
He ignored Orsino’s laughter ringing through his ears. He disregarded the monumental venture of such schemes and tasks. The boy merely set out on his promises and convictions across the spring vestiges, along melting snow and ice, amidst the bloom and rise of shoots and leaves while the world threatened to falter (because they couldn’t afford to).
 
One of the healers, Mortuus Nox, had expressed interest in practicing skills, in testing his potency, in pledging towards strength and malice – and the youth could only admire him for such appeal and efforts, and ensured a lofty grin gleamed upon his features when he greeted the fellow beast outside his chosen cave. “Mortuus Nox,” he lowered his head and spoke into the echoing aperture, pondering if the occupant residing within was presently up to the task, willing to join in a duel, in learning the finer arts of swordplay and violence. His voice resounded again, a crashing wake of tenacity and vigor; forcefulness displayed through the etching of his battle-honed muscles. “Do you still wish to spar?”


[413 words. 0/3. Training Spar: Erebos vs. Mortuus Nox
Surroundings: Currently outside Mortuus Nox’s cave, warm spring day, melting snow and ice on the grounds. Around mid-morning.
Mortuus may have first move!]

Image Credit


Notes:
 
Yay! I’m so glad we’re doing this Dressy!
 
To Keep in Mind:
- Motivations/Emotions: Why does Mortuus Nox want to fight, especially since his principle role in the Basin has been healing? What drives him? This is a great time to show (not tell!) how your character is feeling about his current situation.
 
- Attacks: I love when people use directions and are clear with where their character is in space (that way I know where my character should be). Remember to write them with intent (using words like ‘attempted’ or ‘tried’).
 
- Settings/Surroundings: Utilize those important pieces within your attacks/defenses! How does the ground hinder or improve his movement? Will he start the fight from his cave?
 
- Characteristics/Comparison: How do Mortuus and Erebos differ in size, in body type, etc.? How can you use this to your advantage? Check out their stats and compare the two. It can help you in determining how you wish to attack/defend yourself.
 
- Grammar: I’ve noticed you’ve taken a hit in the past for this on your rubrics, so I want you to be extra mindful of this. Make sure to proofread your posts. Read them over and over out loud to yourself (the ear can often pick up something your eyes missed, especially awkward phrasing, multiple uses of the same word, etc.). Check for shifting tenses.
 
Ready when you are! ;D

@Mortuus Nox

Mortuus Nox Posts: 187
Aurora Basin Time Mender atk: 3.5 | def: 10 | dam: 7
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 15.2 :: Immortal HP: 66.5 | Buff: NOVICE
Dressy
#2
Mortuus Nox
Your fears have just become all too real, for the Devil at the cross road wants to make a Deal

The beast was dwelling deep withing the cave depths. He was left alone to gather and collect his deviant thoughts. Their King is dead. The heathen could not stand up to the scythe of the reaper, and his soul was ripped from the living form. It was a sad day for the Basin. How could such a thing happen? Fire raging in hell would eat the spirit of the once great reaper. Mercy is not something that demons are born to understand. They do not know what is right and what is wrong. The only thing breed into their blackened heart is evil.

A sigh escaped his maw, and the air warmed around his velvet muzzle. The warmth was finally starting to creep its way into the frozen lands of the Basin. Relief rolled from his shoulders knowing that may of the herd mates survived another Frost Fall. His eyes narrowed upon an approaching figure. The black shadow came to a halt like an angel waiting for entrance into the gates of heaven. Light rimmed the shadow beast standing at the mouth of his home. Demonic horns twisted and tilted to the side looking at the monster calling his name. Cracked hooves clicked against the hard cave floor then they came to a halt.

Dead eyes looked upon the man that was now their General. Erebos was an accomplished fighter and proved himself capable to lead their warriors. Mortuus was older than the boy, but the general had a quite a few inches on the demon. A smile came to the blackened maw, it was eerie but inviting to the man. Thick muscles rippled under the ebony colored skin. Mortuus had the build of a brick shit house. Even though both monsters had the Spanish blood of Andalusian ancestors coursing through their veins, their muscle build is very different. Erebos has a greater amount of endurance and speed. Mortuus needed to take note of these factors, and carefully plan out attacks and defenses to his advantage. Running around chasing the general would not end well for the medic. The black demon had to use his advantage of agility to get the upper hand. Each stallion seemed to be equal in strength. The general is more conditioned for brute force, as he should be.

Cold gray eyes brightened with a fire burning in his chest. There was something about fighting, sheer brute force, and the smell of blood that made it impossible for Mortuus to say no. Maybe it was the little voice in the back of his head that said remember the old times, but no he was not that beast anymore. Well, there was no harm with indulging in a brushing up of his skills. The demonic beast laced with scars dipped his head to the general.""I would love to have a spar with you General Erebos. "" After, the rumbling words silenced the beast pulled the wolf hide from the wall. His maw flicked the pelt across his back, and gray eyes turned back to the beast in front of him.

Broad shoulders tightened with the thought of his first attack. Lowering the ram-like horns the black stallion launched forward. The cracked hooves gripped against the cave floor and pulled his heavy body towards the general. It was tricky attacking from the cave, but Mortuus tried to make it work. With as much power he could gain in the short distance between them; he attempted to shove both horns into the man's left front shoulder or chest area. Powerful cracked hooves roared against the ground, and Mortuus tried to slip past the General's left side after attacking. Sparing in a small area is no fun. Mortuus might have a better chance if they could move into the clearing.


""Talking here""

---------
WC:: 649/800
Attack:: 1/1
Damage:: None yet
Summary:: Greets the general and then attempt to ram left shoulder/ chest area with his horns. Then he tried to slip past Erebos's left side and go into the clearing outside of the cave.

OOC:: Thank you so much heather! I am so excited for this!!

Image Credits!


@Erebos

Please tag Mortuus Nox in all posts
magic & permanent injury is permitted excluding death.

Erebos Posts: 474
Aurora Basin General atk: 7.5 | def: 11.5 | dam: 6.5
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 16.1hh :: Four HP: 75.5 | Buff: DANCE
Orsino :: Plain Kitsune :: Dark Illusions & Enyo :: Common Griffon :: Draining Clutch Heather
#3
EREBOS
He didn’t know much about Mortuus Nox (and this seemed to becoming an eerie, unsettling pattern – the ignorant prince, uncertain about members of his own brethren, but fully capable of comprehending everyone outside the icy walls). From their few meetings, the other stallion had seemed quiet, furtive, competent at his job, and with a build more than capable of handling a few herbs.
 
So when acceptance lacquered from the confines of the cavern, Erebos stepped back, expecting the beast to wander out and begin their duel.
 
But here was where he’d already erred, because there was a flurry of movement, difficult to discern and glimpse from the play of light and shadow. The General narrowed his eyes, immediately suspicious, a cynical calamity born of too many ventures beyond the summits. Orsino’s outcry, an ominous warning (for he was far better at seeing in the doom and gloom than his bonded) coiled its way through his skull thereafter: He’s coming! Erebos scrambled immediately, sliding against the patches of ice still nestled beneath the cave’s overhang, attempting to dash to the right, away from the horns, the swords, the rapiers, heading his way.
 
Well, well, well he mused, trying to fight off a wild, savage bark of laughter curling over his throat. Even the healers are full of surprises.
 
The result was nearly inconsequential; Erebos’ motion had been effective in waylaying the deadly, dangerous persecution of his shoulder or chest (he wondered if the medic had truly intended to obliterate him, or simply didn’t know his own strength). Instead, the edge of one of Mortuus’s horns scraped over his left haunch, leaving a scratch, a layer of hair missing, one more mark in a patchwork of earned scars. The pain was momentary, passing, a fleeting instance scorching, flaring, and then dying away into a dull throb (except in his mind – for there he marveled at his adversary’s cunning).
 
No fury carved or sculpted its way through his bones, along his marrow, intertwining amidst his limbs. It was amusement, raw and tangible, incensed and sparked by the zeal and fervor of a demon dressed in mender’s clothing. He wanted to chuckle again at the notion of sending more soothers and nurses out to the fields of battle, because the world wouldn’t expect their passion and ardor to rest in oblivion, in havoc, in unholy destruction.
 
However, it left him with a query of engagement too, because they seemed nearly equal in strength, in fortitude, in might, which meant he’d have to do more than just assault.
 
We could run him, Orsino’s scathing, calculating ire was quick to point out one of Mortuus’s flaws; a heavier, bulkier frame. It could be a challenge, to chase him, to have him hunt and stalk until he seemed tired, fatigued, and labored, but the General rarely shied away from difficulty. Or, they could play it out in a different way.
 
The kitsune laughed, high and mocking, vile and irritating, reaching out to poise his illusions and enchantments, and no sooner had he dug deep into his incantations did something appear in the sky. It seemed draconic in nature, flailing on wicked wings and a long body, a reptilian tail slashing through the wind – a wicked head poised for carnage, jaws parting wide to unleash imaginary smoke, fire, and brimstone.
 
Orsino, of course, attempted to position it directly behind Mortuus Nox.
 
“Watch out!” Erebos shouted, playing into the game, into the chaos, into the heights of menace, driven by entertainment and diversions, into the sliding claws of havoc and unholy merriment.
 
Then, hoping the diversion would be effective, that the way his eyes seemed to lock onto the strange mirage as he ran, as he scraped against ice, snow, and puddles, would alter the medic’s attention, he tried to reach Mortuus Nox’s right side, and snap his teeth upon his right shoulder.

[1/3. 644 words.
* Orsino attempts to warn Erebos of Mortuus’s incoming attack from the cave. He tries to dash to the right, slipping a little on the ice, and only gets hit by a horn on his left haunch, leaving a little nick and some missing hair.
* Afterwards, Erebos and Orsino decide to try and run/distract Mortuus. Orsino makes a strange dragon thing in the sky as part of his illusion magic, and attempts to put it behind Mortuus Nox. At the same time, Erebos warns Mortuus of the dragon, and hopes to use the distraction to bite his right shoulder.]

Image Credit


Teaching Notes:

What Went Well:
 
* Comparisons: I thought you handled this part really well! This whole chunk: Mortuus had the build of a brick shit house. Even though both monsters had the Spanish blood of Andalusian ancestors coursing through their veins, their muscle build is very different. Erebos has a greater amount of endurance and speed. Mortuus needed to take note of these factors, and carefully plan out attacks and defenses to his advantage. Running around chasing the general would not end well for the medic. The black demon had to use his advantage of agility to get the upper hand. Each stallion seemed to be equal in strength. The general is more conditioned for brute force, as he should be. represented their differences/advantages – and now you’ll have to think about how you’re going to utilize them. It’s one thing to put them in a post, it’s another to choreograph how your character is going to move and use them as a means to gain the upper hand. Don’t just leave them for the first post alone. Incorporate them throughout the spar.
 
* Emotions: This piece: Cold gray eyes brightened with a fire burning in his chest. There was something about fighting, sheer brute force, and the smell of blood that made it impossible for Mortuus to say no. Maybe it was the little voice in the back of his head that said remember the old times, but no he was not that beast anymore. Well, there was no harm with indulging in a brushing up of his skills. definitely reminded me of the old Mortuus, before he became a healer and left those demonic notions behind. ;D It gives us a little insight on how he used to be, what he’s become, and if he’s truly as kind and forgiving as he’s made out to be nowadays. How are you going to ignite him as they get further into the fight? Is he going to be full of anger, rage, passion, or just slip into his old role? I’m eager to see!
 
* Using Surroundings/Settings: I thought it was very clever to attack from the cave! Not only was Erebos not expecting it, but the way the light and shadows played made it effective to trick, distort, and confuse your opponent. Had I not received such a low roll, I would have definitely used this portion in my post to make Erebos feel like a gigantic doofus!
 
To Work On:
 
* Grammar: Bah, I found tense shifts, spelling mistakes, and awkward phrasing!
 
- The beast was dwelling deep withing the cave depths. Should be within.
 
- Their King is dead. Since you started your post in past tense, the rest of it should be in past tense. Is needs to be was.
 
- Mercy is not something that demons are born to understand. – Should be was.
 
- The only thing breed into their blackened heart is evil. – Should be bred.
 
- Relief rolled from his shoulders knowing that may of the herd mates survived another Frost Fall. – Should be many.
 
- A smile came to the blackened maw, it was eerie but inviting to the man. Should have a semicolon (;), before it, so it reads like: A smile came to the blackened maw; it was eerie but inviting to the man.
 
- Even though both monsters had the Spanish blood of Andalusian ancestors coursing through their veins, their muscle build is very different. Should be was.
 
- Erebos has a greater amount of endurance and speed. Should be had.
 
- The general is more conditioned for brute force, as he should be. – Should be was.
 
- Maybe it was the little voice in the back of his head that said remember the old times, but no he was not that beast anymore. – This sentence read a little awkward to me. You could change it around with: Maybe it was the little voice in the back of his head that remembered the old times – but he wasn’t that beast anymore.
 
- After, the rumbling words silenced the beast pulled the wolf hide from the wall. – I had to reread this one a couple times to understand. If you manipulated it around to something like this: After the rumbling words were silenced, the beast pulled the wolf hide from the wall.
 
- Sparing in a small area is no fun. – Should be was.
 
Overall you really have to watch out for those tense shifts. If you start out in past tense, you need to keep going in past tense – so is would become was, etc. because you’re writing it as if it’s already happened.
 
I can’t always catch all of my own grammar errors (or my biggest issue: long ass sentences), but I try to proofread by reading out-loud to myself. Sometimes your ears will catch something your eyes have grown used to (and that’s why I always come back an hour or so later to look at it again before I post it). Run it through a Word spelling/grammar check. It won’t snag everything, but it will catch the glaring errors that could drop your score.
 
* Attacks: This is nit-picky and it may be a personal preference, but when I’m sparring a fellow herd member, I don’t go straight for bludgeoning and beating them to a pulp. XD The wording in your attack sounded like the intent was brutal. Otherwise, it was clear, concise, and I knew which direction you were heading (so I also knew where my character should’ve been in space).
 
To Think About:
 
* Settings: Now that Mortuus is out in the open, AND there’s a strange dragon thing nearby, how is this going to affect their fight? Use these to your advantage – you have plenty to go off of!
 
* Damage Taken: With the dice roll pending, you have to think about how much damage (if any) you’re going to take. Pay close attention to the sliding scale (1-6). A 6 is major damage, while a 1 maybe a small nick or scratch. I always like to put a 3 somewhere in the middle (a deep bruise, etc.), and then tweak things accordingly depending on the roll.
 
Remember, you don’t always have to use just my attack in order to take damage – utilize those surroundings! Maybe he could trip and slide on ice and cut up his knee. Maybe he could stumble over a mound of grass, etc.
 
* Emotion: Keep it up! Why does Mortuus enjoy fighting? Does Erebos’ trickery annoy or irritate him?
 
* Directions/Attacks: Keep using the directions! I was so pleased to see you’d given me a direct area to where Mortuus was going. It made my life so much easier. <3

@Mortuus Nox

Mortuus Nox Posts: 187
Aurora Basin Time Mender atk: 3.5 | def: 10 | dam: 7
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 15.2 :: Immortal HP: 66.5 | Buff: NOVICE
Dressy
#4
Mortuus Nox
Your fears have just become all too real, for the Devil at the cross road wants to make a Deal

The brute made it out to the opening of the lands. Mortuus noted that the attack on the general had mild success. Taking in the moment, Mortuus had to remember that this battle, (no it was not a battle) this spar was only to brush up on their skills. It was good for them to move around after remaining so dormant during the brutal winter. Stone cold eyes watched the sun above for just a brief moment. Then a scream, a sound of deceit and lies came from behind him. Emotionless orbs turned to see Erebos rambling about something. Then the depths of hell unleashed a demon in front of his eyes.

Black smoke clouded around him and whirled into a monster. Now take into consideration that Mortuus was not one who would run and hide. He would always face the thing that goes bump in the night. Demonic horns raised as he watched the smoke beast with a look of disbelief. What the fuck was going on here? Then the attack from the darkened general hit him. From the corner of his right eye, the brute saw a glair of white teeth aimed for his shoulder. Trying to move quickly on the slick ground is not something easy to do. Cracked hooves slid in the muck, and he realized more damage could inflict him if he slipped and fell to the ground. Teeth latched onto his scarred shoulder, and the warm crimson substance rushed to the surface of the wound. His skin burned the fury of hell, but it could have been worse.

The injury would hinder some of his movements, so he had to take caution. Swinging his front end to the left the beast attempted to move his rear legs towards Erebos. His heavy weight fell on his left shoulder to try and keep strain off the right one. Then he had to suck up the pain. Leaning his weight onto his front legs, Mortuus kicked his rear legs out attempting to strike the generals left shoulder area. His right shoulder quivered with a slight jolting pain, but it was bearable. Gritting his teeth, Mortuus pushed through the pain. 'Do not get too carried away..


OOC::
I suck!! sorry this is so rushed but I have to meet someone so sorry heather!

WC::374/800
Damage:: Bite to shoulder
Summary:: Tries to kick Erebos in the front left shoulder after taking bite to front right shoulder.


""Talking here""
Image Credits!


@Erebos

Please tag Mortuus Nox in all posts
magic & permanent injury is permitted excluding death.

Blu the Bootyful Posts: 443
Administrator atk: 99 | def: 99 | dam: 99
Mare :: Other :: 5'7" :: 25 HP: 99999 | Buff: TWERK
Blu
#5
please indicate attack number in every post, ex. 2/3 for this one
 HP: 1100

Helovia Hard Mode

Blu the Bootyful Posts: 443
Administrator atk: 99 | def: 99 | dam: 99
Mare :: Other :: 5'7" :: 25 HP: 99999 | Buff: TWERK
Blu
#6
Time limit exceeded, Mortuus Nox defaults to Erebos. Erebos earns 0.5 VP.
 HP: 1100

Helovia Hard Mode


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