the Rift


[JUDGED] and there's blood in my teeth [reich x pip]

Reichenbach Posts: 62
Dragon's Throat Guardian atk: 5 | def: 7.5 | dam: 7.0
Stallion :: Equine :: 17hh :: 8 HP: 62 | Buff: NOVICE
Space
#1
















R  E  I  C  H  E  N  B  A  C  H

And I'm a coal train, fast lane, caught up in a dirty rain,
No pain, no gain, working like a zombie



seven years ago


The brown boy watched him from afar, the prince that stood cloaked in past, present and future. There was a stink about him - it rolled off of him in waves, racking up the hackles of Reichenbach's thin shoulders. It was the perfume of destiny, of galaxies moving into place. It was wispy now, like a thin trail of smoke that drew the son of Fate closer and closer, his wan eyes lingering halfway between secrecy and longing.

He had been in the desert for a week now, loitering, motherless, fatherless. Reichenbach didn't know whether anyone knew he was there - a thin shouldered boy that didn't seem to be of much interest. Even if they'd have approached him he would have been caustic, arrogant, his gypsies grin fooling them into thinking he was fine. Perhaps this was why his backbone ached while watching this Prince - somehow Reich didn't think he could lie around him. Somehow, he was irresistible, drawing the young boy onward,
forward to the future.


present day

Dawn entered the sky with a familiar blush of rose-gold warmth, lightening the nooks and crannies of the Throat and washing Reichenbach in pale glory as he watched the sun rise. He often liked to watch the beginning of a new day, sometimes even staying awake all night simply to watch the transition of the sky from hushed starry night to brilliant azure day, his mind a confused mix of full and empty as he gazed. Around him came the sound of creatures waking for the day, though he was nowhere near the centre of the herd - in fact, he had crept out to the far reaches of the desert where the ocean met the sand to hold his vigil. Flat, sandy desert rolled behind him and ocean vanished into the horizon in front of him, an endless expanse of blue that reminded him, sorely, of home. He missed Rhaegar desperately, and each night found himself tossing and turning in a mess of jangling coins and ebony hair, trying to rid himself of the memories.

Yawning, Reich turned to head back toward the main herd, the sun warming the generous expanse of his back as he did so. Yet as he made to leave, he saw the smallest of figures approaching over the sand. Pippigrin. A warm grin spread his lips and Reich ground into motion, cantering toward the tiny warrior with only one thought on his mind: sparring. Charging over the hot sand, Reichenbach didn't slow even as he passed the hobbit, reaching out with his strong jaws as he passed, aiming to nip the smaller warrior on his rump. "Nothing like a spar to warm your blood in the morning!" He crowed, heart pounding excitedly.




@pippigrin

Attack: 1/3

Word Count: 463

Setting: Just after dawn, the sky is full of rose, gold and baby blues. The sun is warm, even at this early hour, and is rising quickly. The ground is flat, hot and sandy, with the ocean spreading out behind Reichenbach.

Summary: Reich charges Pip and tries to nip his rump as he canters past.

Damage: none yet



art: © x coding: © x
please tag Reich in all posts
Force & Magic allowed short of permanent maiming & death

Pippigrin Posts: 77
Dragon's Throat Gladiator atk: 6.5 | def: 8.5 | dam: 4.5
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 10hh :: Two HP: 68 | Buff: NOVICE
Brandybuck :: Wolverine :: None Neverrmind
#2
PIPPIGRIN
HOME IS BEHIND THE WORLD AHEAD

TAG
OUTFIT
naked Ö
WORDS
798
NOTES
below!

T
he stone angel crawled joyfully over the dunes, wings flared and more than ready for the day ahead. A guardian of the Throat he had been dubbed! His tasks were set, and now an array of responsibilities lay at his feet (Responsibilities that he’d try his hardest to ignore the pressures of.)
Since his battle with the great behemoth Volterra, their Sultan and King, Pippigrin felt reasonably equipped for his next battle, for now, under his belt he possessed the knowledge passed to him by the great words of a most seasoned warrior, one who had seen more battle than all the hobbits from Over-The-Hill combined three times over.

All ten hands of Pippin had made it up the dune, one of the tallest on their island, and he gazed with reverence over the brilliant sunrise of coruscating, gem-like sand specks and orphic, watercolour sky.
To Pippigrin who had regularly seen sunrises over water in his childhood, it was the treeless, snowless mountains composed only of sand that truly completed this masterpiece of a landscape, and with the wind lapping at each of his feathers, it only felt even more surreal.

Hobbits weren’t usually the kind to stop and admire landscapes or art; they weren’t exactly the dreaming nor bohemian kind. If they ever did dream, it was usually about a sweet mouthful of perfect meadow grass or something entirely food related - only ever dreaming in black and white, the greyest, most dull dreams and hopes.
Pippin, though; he dreamed in colour. In every colour of the sunset he currently stood at the foot of, a speck in the eye of a merciless golden sun. In all the colours of the forest, the mountain and dales, the seaside too.

It was then that he caught the sight of a figure approaching, one lit magnificently by a shimmer of newborn sun. It was the great, tall stag known to him as Mister Reichenbach - another warrior in the ranks. The largest of grins appeared on the halfling’s face, his sand-swept fetlocks pressing into the giving ground below.
There was something terribly urgent about Mr. Reich’s pace, in fact, he ran quite quickly in Pip’s direction, or so the boy deduced. Was he not going to slow down and say his hellos? not even a good morning? Hm.
Tearing his eyes from the approaching bay, who he could only assume was only on his way past, Pip gave the slightest of sighs. He would have liked to have stopped for a chat, even if it was quick.

What came next was a blur, the kind that could only be described as a flash or a whistle of wind, and before he knew it, he was being knocked and dragged under the jaws and hooves of the bay gent.
Having reached for his rump, it seemed Reichenbach had caught more than he’d bargained for when the back end of the halfling was swept upward, sending the little brute into the ground with a hard crash and THWACK of bone-against-bone.

It took a few long moments for the little beast to come to terms with what had actually happened, though all judgement was clouded by the remarkable pain stemming from his rump. A meaty, raw, gaping wound now collected sand as he lay sprawling in the dirt, startled and gasping.
“I thought-“ The little colt gasped, clambering up onto both front hooves, dragging his back end along the sand momentarily “I thought you were my friend!?” He spoke to the bay, eyebrows furrowed with anger and rock-hard betrayal.
Clearly, he had not heard Reichenbach when he cheered about sparring.

Finally on all four feet, Pippigrin gave a gruff snort; one of anguish and fury. “I thought you were my friend!” He boomed once more, a tear or two now beginning to well in his eyes as the vicious pain built in his hind end. Taking a number of limping steps forward, Pippin found that it restricted his movement quite terribly and caused him to hobble; that leg would be useless for the remainder of the fight.

So, he would rely on the pair of limbs that he owned and Reichenbach did not; his two stone-coloured pennons. Beating them with all the force he could muster, Pippin allowed his wings to carry him up and away from Reichenbach, only to turn upon the aiding wind currents and direct his flight right in the direction of the bay stag, crown bowed and at the ready for what he hoped to be one impressive swoop. Two dagger-like horns pointed in the direction of his so-called friend, Pippin attempted to ram the stag from above with the propulsion and force of wind and gravity on his side.


Attack; 1/3
Words; 798 (on pages)
Summary; Pippin doesn't know that Reich is just sparring lmfao and thinks hes attacking him for real because the injury is so bad. Takes reichs attack to the rump and is knocked over upon impact.
He then proceeds to fly upwards and zoom around on the wind current, using that as an aid to help him swoop with his horns lowered in the direction of Reich with the aim of ramming him.
Damage; - 6;  a nasty, muscle deep wound to his nearside hind, high up on his rump. restricting his movement and bleeding lots.

ISHY of thq, art; araxel.

Reichenbach Posts: 62
Dragon's Throat Guardian atk: 5 | def: 7.5 | dam: 7.0
Stallion :: Equine :: 17hh :: 8 HP: 62 | Buff: NOVICE
Space
#3
















R  E  I  C  H  E  N  B  A  C  H

And I'm a coal train, fast lane, caught up in a dirty rain,
No pain, no gain, working like a zombie




Muscles rolled with ease underneath the slick warmth of his mahogany coat, the rising sun lending it's glory to the undulating ripple of movement. Light slipped off the muscles of his strong neck as his teeth took hold in Pip's short rump - and rather more significantly than he had originally thought. Reichenbach was without pleasure as his teeth sunk into the flesh of the smaller horse and gripped there, sending the little pony plunging upward and then back toward the sandy ground. Reich himself was tugged forward and stumbled as he released his fellow warrior, though he maintained his balance and slowed with a most apologetic look upon his rugged face. The bay stallion turned with chagrin, a grimace sharp upon the usual softness of his ebony lips, "Pip, shit I'm sorry -"

But even as he apologised, he could see the rage and indignation coming over his little friend, and knew that his words fell upon deaf ears. With a delicate pause and a long, measured stare toward the angered hobbit, Reich chose to take a few steps closer with the aim of apologising again, but tasted blood in his teeth and thought better of it. What could be more of an insult than smiling with a mouth full of Pippin's own blood? It had a coppery, almost buttery taste to it, and Reichenbach could think of nothing more suitable than to spit out the crimson substance onto the sand with yet another grimace. He watched the glob collect sand with discomfort, silver eyes lowered underneath his ebony lashes for but a moment before glancing back to Pippigrin who... was not there.

The grimace was quick becoming a permanent addition to his handsome face as Reich searched about him for the generally amiable hobbit. There seemed to be no sign of him - until the whistle of wings and wind sounded above him. Reich glanced upward quickly, an apologetic grin already forming on his lips as a bullet of grey and brown struck him directly in one, large bay shoulder. Reich roared in pain and anger as the tips of Pippins horns tunnelled into the flesh on either side of his left shoulder blade - they felt like great, blunt daggers striking deep into his muscle tissue, along with the instant bruising caused by the blow itself. Forgetting that the situation had been caused by a case of mistaken intention, Reich felt his temper rapidly rising, boiling his blood fiercely and blinding him to any thought but fighting back. Without the idea of friendship holding him back, Reichenbach snarled and made to grasp the base of Pippin's shaggy neck whilst the hobbit was still engaged with the flesh of his shoulder. Scrabbling to find a hold, Reich aimed to grasp the little pony, pull him free and shake him senseless.

The pain in his shoulder was both dull, throbbing and sharp, thanks to the blunt force and tips of Pippigrin's ram horns. Having been in many fights before, Reich knew that his shoulder and possibly even his whole left leg was going to stiffen and lame after he cooled down - and this thought, combined with his already sharp temper, did nothing to slow his efforts to shake the bejeezus out of his likewise inclined friend.




@pippigrin

Attack: 2/3

Word Count: 545

Summary: As Pip is connected with his shoulder, Reich tries to bite the base of his neck and shake Pip senseless.  

Damage: -7.5 (HP 54.5)



art: © x coding: © x
please tag Reich in all posts
Force & Magic allowed short of permanent maiming & death

Pippigrin Posts: 77
Dragon's Throat Gladiator atk: 6.5 | def: 8.5 | dam: 4.5
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 10hh :: Two HP: 68 | Buff: NOVICE
Brandybuck :: Wolverine :: None Neverrmind
#4
PIPPIGRIN
HOME IS BEHIND THE WORLD AHEAD

TAG
OUTFIT
naked Ö
WORDS
669
NOTES
below!

T
he sucess of his attack had caused a vibrant grunt of hostile breath to escape the hobbit's throat upon impact, his teeth clenching and feathers splaying over the sweaty hide of his opponent. Take that! was what he wished to say, though generally the halfling kept all noice to a complete minimum for now and prove his actions could be mightier than words. Another wingbeat and each feather had drummed upon the traitors sheer skin, his horns bruising his nearside soulder and sending him off his feet. While his own attack was no match against Reichenbach's king hit, Pippigrin hoped it was at contender.

But again, the hobbit was sloppy. Only another wingbeat past and he was snatched once more from the air - Mr. Volterra had warned against such antics only days before. Though this time it seemed his opponent lacked in skill and precision like their Sultan had, his teeth only managing to rake against the side of his neck, clearing the area of hair and leaving a bruise for later it would seem. Today Pippigrin would not be grounded so easily, not even by another blow of those ferocious teeth.
SWOOSH! Another hammer of his wings was enough to save him from the ground, from yet another vicious attack, even as blood continued to run down his rump and trickle into his tail.

Taking his recovered flight to the right of his mongrel rival, Pippin forced himself to hide a great whince, a squeak of pain as he angled his hips for landing. So much damage, so much pain, and just from one nasty bite. He's be sure to seek out the physicians about this one - it was perhaps the worst wound he had ever sustained. Just that thought alone was enough to cause a tear to wriggle from the corner of his eye, his front feet touching the ground, soon followed by his wounded hind end.
Glazed, teary eyes found their way to his attacker, though would not dare to look into the silver irises he possessed fr fear of seeing a true monster. Pippigrin held dearly onto the sliver of hope that this was all just a misunderstanding. Perhaps it was a game, or just a really horrible joke!

His own gaze of silver and stone sweeping over his rival, Pippigrin noted quickly how he might go about his next attack. Being less than half the size of his opponent's came with great difficulty, especially when it came to planning attacks around simply not getting stomped on. Now standing but a small number of feet away from the great bay, the warrior gave a mighty snort through his nares (the kind you might expect to hear from a charging bull) and flared his wings in an attempt to use both his pennons and the wind's current to help support his bleeding, throbbing rump. It would be no easy battle having been so hideously wounded so early on, though luckily he had placed himself close enough for his next attack that he hoped he would not strain himself too terribly.

Instead of using his hind legs to launch off, the halfling instead stepped forth off of his front legs and allowed his back end to follow, beating his wings to give power from behind as he began his charge.
Turning further to his right, Pippigrin aimed himself directly in front of Reichenbach's offside hind leg; a slightly inconvenient location for his opponent, somewhat unreachable by most as long as the boy were to keep his pace up, though were the stag to turn or stop, a great kick or stomp would be easily served Pippin's way.
Now reaching up wich his own pair of teeth, Pippigrin aimed his jaws at one of the weakest place on his opponent's body; the flank. Mouth open wide, hooves trodding in the sand beside the victim, Pippigrin attempted to fix his mouth right around the weak, sensitive skin of Reich's right flank, trying his hardest to reach high up above and clamp his teeth upon it and wrench it down. That would be sure to send him howling.

Attack; 2/3
Words; 669
Summary; attempts to bite reichs flank!
Damage; 6;  a nasty, muscle deep wound to his nearside hind, high up on his rump. restricting his movement and bleeding lots.
1; skin graze + big bruise to his neck

ISHY of thq, art; araxel.

Reichenbach Posts: 62
Dragon's Throat Guardian atk: 5 | def: 7.5 | dam: 7.0
Stallion :: Equine :: 17hh :: 8 HP: 62 | Buff: NOVICE
Space
#5
















R  E  I  C  H  E  N  B  A  C  H

And I'm a coal train, fast lane, caught up in a dirty rain,
No pain, no gain, working like a zombie




Reichenbach did his best to ignore the throb of his injured shoulder, careful to keep moving so that he did not stiffen as they fought. He had been in fights before, but never had he had a winged opponent. As such, Pip managed to scrape free of the worst of his attack, though Reich tasted skin and hair in his mouth as he did so. The fur was soft and downy in his mouth, a testament to the hobbits grooming, and the gypsy fighter spat it out with relish as his gaze followed the path of Pippigrin's flight. A wild grin grasped him, the frown on his rough hewn face turning into something more eager as Pippin gingerly landed, obviously hurting from the wound Reichenbach had previously inflicted. A bullish snort escaped Pippin's dainty nostrils - it resulted only in the expansion of Reich's grin, the challenge pounding through his coppery blood and exciting something primitive and primal within him.

As Pip's downy wings flared and he began to swoop and charge, Reich followed his progress with sharp eyes, seeing both the thought and physical process as his small companion made to either bite or ram his flank. He made to jump aside, confident in his abilities - only to be stopped short by the sharp, intense pain caused by Pippin's strong teeth. Reich roared, whipping his head back to glare at the hobbit with disbelieving eyes... Pip was quick! The great bay man bared his own strong teeth, his wild hair shuddering around the rough lines of his face as he struggled to pull free of the substantial hold on his flank, nervous that his movement might cause further damage. Already, Reich felt the blood begin to trickle down his silky skin and gather at his soft belly, where it dripped steadily. A savage growl slipped between his lips as he finally managed to escape his opponents steady grasp, his freedom bringing new brutal intentions to light.

In a flash, he pivoted upon his strong quarters and made to smash his heavy hooves upon the little hobbits short shoulder - if he was to be lame in the week to come, he would try to do the same to Pip. They could suffer together. The sharp throb of his injured shoulder was a constant irritation to him, though the Guardian of the Throat thought that Pip, too, would be struggling after today. Even as his hooves came slamming downward the thought amused him, and that small amount of humour began to soften his resolve. His temper faded, albeit slowly, and shame began to muzzle him. He'd not meant to truly hurt the little hobbit - Pip was his friend after all. His temper had once again gotten the better of him, and for that, Reich was truly sorry. His breath was coming heavy now, and the pain in his flank and shoulder was tiring every bone in his vast body. His muscles might just give out if they didn't sort this out soon, and besides, Reich had been wanting a calm, pleasant day with his good friend Pippigrin... not a battle royale.



@pippigrin

Attack: 3/3

Word Count: 519

Summary: Reich pivots and attempts to slam his front hooves onto Pip's shoulder. 

Damage: -15 (HP 47)



art: © x coding: © x
please tag Reich in all posts
Force & Magic allowed short of permanent maiming & death

Pippigrin Posts: 77
Dragon's Throat Gladiator atk: 6.5 | def: 8.5 | dam: 4.5
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 10hh :: Two HP: 68 | Buff: NOVICE
Brandybuck :: Wolverine :: None Neverrmind
#6
PIPPIGRIN
HOME IS BEHIND THE WORLD AHEAD

TAG
OUTFIT
naked Ö
WORDS
799
NOTES
below!

L
ike war drums; that was the only way to describe the brilliant beat echoing from their bloody battle scene. Incisors clinging to the gangly flesh of the traitor, Pippigrin's eyes widened and nostrils flared as the beating of both their hooves became the atmosphere - it was as if they galloped upon the sound itself. For such a small, half-sized creature, each threatening clack against the rocks and sand below was one more threatening growl, one more fearsome bark of foreshadowing; just one foot wrong and any kind of victory, whether it be as basic as being able to walk away without a further scratch, would all be swallowed whole.
So it was with calculation that the hobbit flayed his wings once more against the flesh of his attacker, not minding one ounce if they became dressed in the bloody mess from the stallion’s flank. Flaring his wings outwards in an attempt to halt himself, allowing the bay brute to pass him by, Pippin was caught off-guard by the splitting pain in his loins. The injury sustained at the very beginning of the fight was one he would not recover from without the Sun Physician’s interference, this much he knew, though, he was also unsure if continuing the fight was even an option given the possibilities of a fracture or worse. The blood had begun to cake and dry, leaving smears of orange sand and gore upon his rump; a most gruesome wound indeed. Mind soon drifting to the peculiar amulet he had strung upon his horns, Pippigrin shook it down the length of his horn and plucked it out of place, clasping the strange jewel between his teeth. How does this work again?
It appeared he didn't need an instruction manual because without a second to pass the amulet began to leak a vibrant fluid and fill the hobbit’s wounds.

It was as he stood in contemplation over the wound, fearful and furious over its devastating impact on his body, yet another punch was thrown his way. The stag having pivoted in front of him came roaring over, hooves pinned straight and aiming for his shoulder.
A gasp was all that left Pippigrin’s maw at first, his legs attempting to shuffle through the pain of his rump, though it was, for the most part, in vain.
“AAH!”
The plate-sized hooves of the bay beast crashed down upon the hobbit with so much force that Pippin’s own hooves buckled under their weight. For but a moment the halfling fell, the force and weight too much for his shaken and beaten body to bare, a loud and abrupt cry escaping his maw.

Aside from the panic and turmoil, the blood and the ineffable amounts of pain, Pippigrin could only think of one thing;
‘I thought you were my friend…’

The hobbit, so little and small, was just about ready to give up. His legs were failing, his wings and fleeting heart too, and while it had only been a small number of seconds that he lay battered in the dust, time had stood almost completely still for him.

Though still... the blood of a warrior coursed through him, through each of his little veins.
A warrior's spirit was the kind that could never be dampened.

A hoof plucked out from under his heaving chest and gathered grasp upon the ground, followed by another, then another. He would finish this fight, he would not back down.
Launching himself upwards back onto his feet, Pippigrin grunted against the indescribable pain he now felt from both his hind end and his shoulder, though, with the adrenaline taking over, the spirit of all guardians and warriors before him filling his blood stream, the pain only dulled. The Guardian felt as though he was stronger, healed in some respects, albeit held together by the thinnest of strings. It was enough though - it was all he would need to see this fight through to the end.

“I thought you were my friend”
The hobbit croaked a final time, pale eyes lifting to those of his betrayer. The strength that had built within him, a charging force of adrenaline and spirit, now waned; he had such a limited window it seemed before he would become a crumpled heap of limbs in the sand. Without anything else to say to the man, Pippigrin bowed his crown and gathered his strength. Wings flaring for support and balance,  rallying the wind to his side and plunging right through the enduring pain, the hobbit began to charge.
With his crown aimed directly at Reichenbach’s chest, he gave one final scream of urgency and demand as he attempted to throw his two horns into the man who had attacked him in the hopes he would surely regret ever doing it.


Attack; 3/3
Words; 799
Summary; PIPPIGRIN USES HIS KAOS AMULET! then gets smacked down by reich, then jumps up and runs after him screaming haha and attmepts to ram him in the chest!
Damage;
6;  a nasty, muscle deep wound to his nearside hind, high up on his rump. restricting his movement and bleeding lots.
1; skin graze + big bruise to his neck
5; a huge bone-deep bruise to his shoulder
27 HP, but USES KAOS AMULET so 31 hp 

WELL DONE LINDSAY! <3 now u just need to do your closing defence and it's judging time!

ISHY of thq, art; araxel.

Reichenbach Posts: 62
Dragon's Throat Guardian atk: 5 | def: 7.5 | dam: 7.0
Stallion :: Equine :: 17hh :: 8 HP: 62 | Buff: NOVICE
Space
#7
















R  E  I  C  H  E  N  B  A  C  H

And I'm a coal train, fast lane, caught up in a dirty rain,
No pain, no gain, working like a zombie




Instant shame washed over Reichenbach as Pippigrin's tormented, frightened scream echoed throughout the air and was thrust into his earholes. His hooves connected shockingly with the little hobbit and he felt, with much remorse, the small body collapse to the ground underneath him. As his opponent fell to the ground Reich felt the jar of his sore, bruised and bloodied shoulder and winced, silver eyes turning to slits as he adjusted his stiffening leg painfully. He could still feel the torn skin of his flank and grit his teeth at the all too familiar feeling of blood running down his leg, hot and crimson, leaving a damp trail in it's wake. He felt exhausted, and incredibly guilty for turning on joyful Pippin after such a small misunderstanding. While they were warriors, and quite capable of battle, Reichenbach rarely fought friends - and especially not pleasant, cheery companions like Pippigrin. Ready to apologise, Reich cast his silver gaze back toward the fallen pegasus... only to be rammed full in his broad, muscular chest.

The breathlessness came first, for Pip had driven all the air out of his deep lungs and left him gasping. Then came the pain, which rocked the bay stallion and, combined with the impact, forced him to take a few steps backward in the hot sand. The sun was fully out now, a hot, burning circle that Reich could feel numbly upon his skin as he struggled to take a wheezing breath. Pip's small horns had pierced the skin on either side of his chest, though the wounds were shallow and the least of his concern. Nevertheless, the feeling of blood trickling down his front felt dreadful, though not as bad as the bruised muscle around it. After a few gasping breaths, Reich raised his eyes to meet Pippin's, sorrowful and apologetic despite the wounds that stung, ached and throbbed.

"Pip"

He gasped out, straightening with a wince. He shifted his large hooves apprehensively, locking his sterling gaze upon his friends small, teary face. "I never meant for this to turn so... so savage. Pip, please forgive me - I only wanted to spar." His words came in a rush of baritone music, lilting and just a little bit desperate for the forgiveness he sought. Reich took a large rattling breath, and then another, releasing them slowly and wishing he had some sort of painkiller. His hair was wilder than usual, a crazy mess of black curls, entangled within his coins and earrings, and his lips seemed permanently pressed together in pain. "I'm so sorry I hurt you... brother." It wasn't enough, somehow, to apologise only with words. So stiffly and sorely, Reich limped forward to embrace his fellow warrior - a man he respected entirely, and even more so after seeing such a valiant effort.



@pippigrin

Closing Defense.

Word Count: 468

Summary: Reich takes the hit, apologises profusely!! Then moves to embrace Pip.

Damage: -8.5 (HP 38.5)

Damage Summary: Shoulder is severely bruised with two horn wounds, will turn lame after he cools down.
Torn skin on flank, will likely scar.
Twin horn wounds on chest, bruised and winded.



art: © x coding: © x
please tag Reich in all posts
Force & Magic allowed short of permanent maiming & death

Official Posts: 847
Administrator
Stallion :: Equine :: ::
Official
#8
By my verdict: Reichenbach is the winner!

Reichenbach
Realism [+2]
You have a good mind for proper attack and injury, but you could benefit from more detail and explanation. For instance, it was difficult for me to understand how he’d grab Pippigrin out of the air, given that Pippigrin was swooping in for an attack so would have been moving very quickly, a dangerous place to stick your face. The additional detail could be used with describing surroundings and how they affect you, as well as the breed/stat differences between you and your opponent - especially given their massive differences. You gave a nod or two here and there, but nothing substantial so I was always left wanting more and it was difficult to fully visualize the pair of them dueling due to this lack of detail.


Emotion [+1]
Overall I didn’t feel a strong connection with Reichenbach during the fight. You would skim over his emotions, and mentioned how he’s quick to anger, but I never really felt it from him. Your posts focused mainly on action, and I would have liked more explanation for his reactions to the action and the motive for them!


Prose [+2]
Your posts were very easy to read and had excellent flow! A wider vocabulary and more time spent on imagery would help make this even more excellent.


Readability [+2.5]
Overall your posts were very understandable and lacking errors, though I did find this table hard to read due to text size and the thin font.

P2:
“...of Pippins horns…” (Pippin’s)
“...tunnelled into the flesh....” (tunneled)

P3:
“...little hobbits short shoulder…” (hobbit’s)


Finally tally: 38.5+(7.5*2)= 53.5 HP

*******************************************

Pippigrin
Realism [+1]
I liked your attacks and you followed the damage rolls well, though some of your injuries could use more description to put detail to the pain being felt. For instance I was initially confused by how your rump was lifted up by a bite in the first post, and in your third post aside from being knocked to the ground I couldn’t tell what had been injured that was causing the blood and pain you were referring to. Your defenses could use greater explanation as well, because I didn’t fully get how Pippigrin wasn’t pulled out of the sky by Reichenbach, especially since his bit did get you - I didn’t imagine he could pull you out anyway given your momentum, but if he grazed off your neck that probably would have caused you to tumble, especially given you’d be so close to the ground in order to have hit him mid-air anyway. More explanation to breed and surroundings would also help bring this more to life! I especially expected this given how small Pippigrin is, but it seemed like it was barely mentioned. I really liked how you incorporated your rank magic though.

There were a few instances where you had mild powerplay and timing that was off.
P2:
“...his teeth clenching and feathers splaying over the sweaty hide of his opponent.” (PP, Reich never mentioned this in his prior post)
“Another wingbeat and each feather had drummed upon the traitors sheer skin, his horns bruising his nearside soulder and sending him off his feet.” (PP, Reich never mentioned feathers on him or being off his feet)

P3:
“..the hobbit flayed his wings once more against the flesh of his attacker…” (PP, Reich gets to decide if you wings touch him or not)
“ Flaring his wings outwards in an attempt to halt himself, allowing the bay brute to pass him by, Pippin was caught off-guard by the splitting pain in his loins.” (Timing, you moved in on Reich in your last post to bite him and he took your bite and wrote as quickly turning around to assault you with his hooves. However you write this as if they pass by each other and you’ve the time to use your amulet, even mentioning standing and contemplating in another line before reacting to Reichenbach’s attack, which reads very slow and out of place compared to the timing Reichenbach set up in his prior post.)


Emotion [+2]
I really enjoyed Pippigrin’s upset response to this whole fight, being confused about their friendship and the start of the fight. I could definitely have used more feelings though, as this was strongest in your first and third post only, and for the most part was still overshadowed by action.


Prose [+2]
I really enjoyed your wide vocabulary and some of the great imagery you set. At times however your flow was a bit choppy.


Readability [+2]
A lot of these mistakes were minor, but heavily detracted from the posts due to the sheer amount of them.

P1:
“...gem-like sand specks and orphic, watercolour sky.” (not sure what orphic is, it just says ‘relating to orpheus’ on Google so I’m not sure how that fits).
“Pippin, though; he dreamed in colour.” (Pippin though, he dreamed in colour. Semi-colon doesn’t work with that sentence.)

P2:
“The sucess of his...” (success)
“Take that! was…” (should put the Tale that! In quotes to support the fact it’s a thought and the was being lowercase.)
“...kept all noice to…” (noise)
“...generally the halfling kept all noice to a complete minimum for now and prove his actions could be mightier than words.” (this reads weird)
“Another wingbeat and…” (wing beat or wing-beat)
“...upon the traitors sheer skin…” (traitor’s)
“...his nearside soulder and…” (near side)
“...his nearside soulder and…” (shoulder)
“...his horns bruising his nearside soulder and sending him off his feet.” (losing track of who is what with all the his/hims, use names!)
“...it was at contender.” (a)
“...a great whince…” (wince)
“He's be sure to seek out…” (he’d)
“...possessed fr fear…” (for)
“His own gaze of silver and stone sweeping over his rival, Pippigrin noted quickly…” (tense change)
“Being less than half the size of his opponent's came…” (opponents)
“Now reaching up wich his own…” (with)
“...one of the weakest place on his…” (places)


Finally tally: 31+(7*2)= 45 HP


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