the Rift


(Judge Please) Preparing for Battle (Psyche)

Valentine Posts: 203
Hidden Account
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 17.1 :: 12
teeroo
#1


Red eyes scanned the wide battlefield before him. He was prepared to learn how to fight. Even if it were against his beloved, the beautiful dark mare Psyche, he would still fight like he was fighting against the Qian. He hoped he was a better than he thought he was. I hope I can fight, or this all goes to hell. Shit, I hope I can do this. He looked around for her, hoping to see her dark figure any moment. He wouldn’t be hard for her to catch is eye, not only because he was looking for her, but because she was so easy to spot. Who could miss a mare with dark fur and pegasi feathers and teeth in her mane? He looked back on the day he first met her in the Frostbreath Steppe. What a wonderful day that had been. Ever since he had fallen completely in love with her, and she was ever constant in his thoughts. He wished for her presence here now, and longed for it. It had been days since he’d seen her, and he couldn’t wait to see her once more. He looked around the battlefield again, waiting.
Strolling Along
Tying my Tongue
Gears are Shifting


I am no longer going into the cbox due to recent events. You can PM on this (Valentine's) account, go on my skype (teeroo777), or PM me on DA (teeroo). Thank you.


Credits to picture on page, since they won't show up since they are in black: http://twiwolf.deviantart.com/art/Free-Love-362011598

Psyche the DarkEmpress Posts: 380
Deceased
Mare :: Unicorn :: 15.3 hh :: 8 (ages in Orangemoon) Buff: ENDURE
RayoDeSoleil
#2

[OOC | This battle will be held in the Frostbreath Steppe. It is midday, and sunny, though still ridiculously cold. A new layer of snow has fallen in the night, though it is not deep on their chosen battlefield. An outcropping of rock, several horse lengths long and quite tall, lies at the western edge of their arena. 800 word limit, 4 posts each.]

The day was bright and cold. It was not the cold that bothered the shadow-mare, as she had become quite used to it in the last few weeks. The brightness, however, was new, though it brought little warmth to the land. Of course, she expected no less, with the Sun God banished to the far reaches of the realm. Amber orbs scanned the sky: no clouds in sight. How odd. She was sure that they would roll in before nightfall, once more blanketing the clear blue with dull grey. She would be the first to admit that the dark suited her much better than the light; but she functioned the same in both and so could not complain.

Approaching a previously agreed-upon location, the dark fae glimpsed her sparring companion for the afternoon. Valentine. The name slipped through her mind like a gentle caress. A strange stallion, and one who seemed to enjoy her company - a new concept for the jackal. It was something to consider late at night when her body refused to sleep, thrusting her mind into the chaos of thought. But for now, he was her soldier, her trainee, and her responsibility. For him to survive the coming seasons, which would no doubt be dangerous for some of her recruits, she would need him to be capable. It was more than just looking out for one of her followers; she wanted him to survive as much as she needed him to.

She considered, briefly, the best way to begin this little battle, even as she greeted him with a nicker and a nudge to the shoulder. Dark hooves took a few steps back, movement liquid, flowing, easy. She circled him, eyes critical on his stance. She felt as though she should give some sort of instruction. "This will be the most difficult fight that you will face," she informed him finally. "You've never fought before. Be sure to watch me, closely. Many times one's body will give away movement before it occurs. But don't forget to listen as well. Were we in battle, you would have to guard against others as well." It seemed like enough.

Should she attack first? Well, it would be the best way for him to learn, she supposed. And she would be kind to this steed who had captured her interest: she would give him warning. "And so it begins, darling." She was facing him head on now, having stopped her incessant circles around his frame. A skip forward and to her right had her dancing toward his side. Cranium lowered, gnarled horn aiming for his left shoulder. It was an intricate thing, fighting. One had to move with and against one's opponent all at once. And so it began.


[W/C | 459 | 1/4]

[OOC | Attack - Psyche jumps forward and to Valentine's left, aiming her horn at his shoulder in an attempt to leave a light gash there.]

Walk walk walk.
"Talk talk talk."
Think think think.


Valentine Posts: 203
Hidden Account
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 17.1 :: 12
teeroo
#3



After hearing her voice his mind seemed to get out of whack. Something hit him and it confused him, and he didn’t notice until he mind of steady again. He felt her horn slice against his skin as he tried to move away, but he wasn’t quick enough, despite the warning she gave him. Figures. He looked at the mark, and it was light, and it hurt a bit. He looked at her, and was almost uncertain of what to do.
“Hey that hurt you know,“ he said with a smirk on his face. “You’ve really hurt my feelings, and terribly injured me to boot.“ The smirk faded and was replaced by a face of concentration. “Are you ready love? Here I come.” He jumped to the right of her, making him go on her left side, and tried to make it look like he was aiming at her shoulder, but then he moved further down and aimed for her flank. He put his full weight forward, and he hoped to not only wound her but to push her down as well.

[WC: 177
Attack: He moved to the right and aimed at her left flank, also pushing his weight forward so he could knock her to the ground.]

1/4

Strolling Along
Tying my Tongue
Gears are Shifting


I am no longer going into the cbox due to recent events. You can PM on this (Valentine's) account, go on my skype (teeroo777), or PM me on DA (teeroo). Thank you.


Credits to picture on page, since they won't show up since they are in black: http://twiwolf.deviantart.com/art/Free-Love-362011598

Psyche the DarkEmpress Posts: 380
Deceased
Mare :: Unicorn :: 15.3 hh :: 8 (ages in Orangemoon) Buff: ENDURE
RayoDeSoleil
#4

Horn bit flesh, and she pulled her head back in a quick motion designed to gut an opponent in a real battle; it was a reflexive action, but would have no effect on Valentine, as she had not aimed for his stomach as she would have a real combatant. She pulled away continuing her slow dance around him. It had been too easy to hit her mark, and she eyed him with a look of mixed amusement and disapproval. How would he ever survive in such a bloodthirsty group as the Plague? There's always d'Artagnan's teaching, she reminded herself, orange globes watching the stallion warily. He was talking, another mistake - or perhaps it wouldn't be, with a less experienced opponent than she. As it were, she simply smiled at him with a 'come-hither' expression.

"Are you ready, love?" he warned her before leaping forward. He was to her left, and charged rather clumsily (in her opinion) toward her shoulder. She skipped to her right, dodging the blow rather easily, but was pleased to note that he would have hit her flank rather than her shoulder had she been slower. That was good, making her think one thing while aiming for another. "Not bad," she told him, "But you might not want to warn me you're coming." She turned, keeping him in her sights. It would be dangerous to allow him to catch her unawares. He might hurt her badly on accident, being as inexperienced a fighter as he was.

She found herself migrating toward the rock outcropping to her left, on the western edge of the battlefield. It would be interesting to dodge in and out of the rocks, but she wasn't sure that the steed was quite ready for that. She darted toward him, maw lowered again, aiming this time for the right side of his body. At the last moment, she snapped her head up and nipped at his nape; again, it was not a blow intended to maim, but rather to teach. Should it land, she might take a chunk out of the base of his neck or, if he moved, his shoulder or side. She was playing an interesting game, dancing in and out, not blundering in with brute force. It was designed to tire him first, finish him later.


[W/C | 385 | 2/4]

[OOC | Defense - Psyche dodges Valentine's charge and spins to face him.
Attack - Psyche charges for Valentine's right side, aiming to bite his neck.]

Walk walk walk.
"Talk talk talk."
Think think think.


Valentine Posts: 203
Hidden Account
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 17.1 :: 12
teeroo
#5


He missed. Damn it. He would remember that. He wasn’t trying to hurt her, and he realized that after his attack. He heard her speak, and he knew that it was his first big mistake. Closer to the rock cropping they were going, and she seemed light to him. She danced around him, and it almost made him smile. But he remembered he was in battle, and there were no time for feelings, if it was a practice one. He would have to get used to this, and it might take him time, but he needed to start off right. He thought she was going to use her horn again, but she was using her teeth instead. He felt this graze his neck as he moved it away, seconds from feeling them sink into his flesh. He went in the opposite direction of the way she was aiming and used the ground. Since he was so close to her, he moved his horn in position so that he could make a scratch on her side like the one she made on her shoulder.

[WC: 183
Defense: He moved his head and neck away, making Psyche miss.
Attack: He aimed his horn at Psyche’s side, hoping to make a slight mark]

2/4

Strolling Along
Tying my Tongue
Gears are Shifting


I am no longer going into the cbox due to recent events. You can PM on this (Valentine's) account, go on my skype (teeroo777), or PM me on DA (teeroo). Thank you.


Credits to picture on page, since they won't show up since they are in black: http://twiwolf.deviantart.com/art/Free-Love-362011598

Psyche the DarkEmpress Posts: 380
Deceased
Mare :: Unicorn :: 15.3 hh :: 8 (ages in Orangemoon) Buff: ENDURE
RayoDeSoleil
#6

Her teeth grazed his hide, but came away clean; much improved. He was paying attention now. She smiled as she whirled to skitter away, continuing toward the rocks; and so it was that she was surprised to feel a light pain along her side. She started, lunging forward and kicking up, out, towards the source of her little scrape, Valentine's head. It was reflex, really. Her momentum carried her forward, and she dodges between two rocks, circling back around them and into the clearing, intending to confuse him. It was she that had made the mistake that time, in thinking that he would pose no real threat. His first failed attempt at drawing blood had left her assuming that he would be an easy match; and this he might be, if she did not get lazy, as she just had.

The shadow-mare weaved through the outcropping of rocks, careful to keep an eye on Valentine as she did so. After a few minutes of this, sights of her flirting with his vision, disappearing and reappearing amongst the tall, oppressive rock formations, she leaped from her place, having worked her way back to where she originally started weaving through the rocks. This time, she charges headlong for his side, aiming to use the brunt force of her body to push him to the ground. It would leave a bruise on his side, but at worst he would stumble to the ground under her feet. That would be the worst danger of such a move - it was easy to trample an opponent without his feet.


[W/C | 264 | 3/4]

[OOC | Defense - Psyche takes the hit, and ends up with a light scratch along her side; in reaction she kicks blindly toward Valentine's head, more to throw him off than to actually hit him. She darts into the rocks, using them as cover to sneak around him.
Attack - Psyche leaps from the rocks and runs headlong at Valentine, aiming to run into his side and knock him down.]

Walk walk walk.
"Talk talk talk."
Think think think.


Valentine Posts: 203
Hidden Account
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 17.1 :: 12
teeroo
#7


It almost seemed like slow motion. He saw that he had made his mark, and he was happy with that. The thrill of hitting her made a twisted smile go across his face. But then, there was something that surprised him. A hoof, and it was moving towards his face. It didn’t touch him this time, and he moved quickly. He laid his head down and rolled away. When he got up he saw the hind legs and tail of his love go into the rock outcropping. He swayed back and forth, back and forth from his vision. He knew what game she was playing, trying to confuse him to where she was. He didn’t try to follow her, because he knew she would come out at full force for an attack. He moved back, hoping that would give him a better view. It did. He saw the flash of black running towards him. He ran to, and they hit each other, each with full force they could muster. He didn’t exactly fall, but his forelegs where up, and he got up as quickly as he could. He didn’t know what to do next, so he waited for her, but in a defensive position with his horn out.

[WC: 208
Defense: He dodged Psyche’s attack
Attack: He ran to push her down, and landed half-way fallen
Defense: He went into a protective position]

3/4

Strolling Along
Tying my Tongue
Gears are Shifting


I am no longer going into the cbox due to recent events. You can PM on this (Valentine's) account, go on my skype (teeroo777), or PM me on DA (teeroo). Thank you.


Credits to picture on page, since they won't show up since they are in black: http://twiwolf.deviantart.com/art/Free-Love-362011598

Psyche the DarkEmpress Posts: 380
Deceased
Mare :: Unicorn :: 15.3 hh :: 8 (ages in Orangemoon) Buff: ENDURE
RayoDeSoleil
#8

He was learning. As she emerged from the rocky cover, a burst of darkness from the shadows into a frostbitten world of light, he leaped into an action matching her own. They collided, body on body, ricocheting off each other in reaction to the momentum deflected from their respective chests. A grunt was expelled from her nostrils at the force of the blow, and she found herself half-risen in a rear, turning away, circling backwards as he half fell. She gasped momentarily for air, the breath knocked forcefully from her lungs. But she kept moving, ever moving, for to stop at this point in a match would mean death. A blow struck at this moment could be the last she ever felt, as the gasping turned to panting.

A sheen of sweat glistened over her dark-hued pelt as she danced fluidly sideways. It was a pretty movement, her body bent and her legs moving at a diagonal to Valentine. It was meant to distract him, to make him think she was simply continuing around him; but as she approached she prepared herself to strike again. She lunged forward, aiming a sharp nip to his haunch, and as she wheeled away, she kicked her legs up at his shoulder. It wasn't the kindest of moves, seeing as this was only for practice. But the shadow-mare was caught up in the thrill of combat, blood-lust overwhelming her senses after their last assault.


[W/C | 240 | 4/4]

[OOC | Defense - She circles away from him to catch her breath, keeping an eye on him.
Attack - Psyche lunges for his flank, aiming to bite him, then spins and kicks toward his shoulder.]

Walk walk walk.
"Talk talk talk."
Think think think.


Valentine Posts: 203
Hidden Account
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 17.1 :: 12
teeroo
#9


He saw her move, and kept his eyes on her. In the mode he was in, he didn’t focus on her and her beauty, which he knew she possessed, but rather her actions. She was quick, and was on him in an instant. She aimed at his flank with her teeth. He felt flesh tear, and this time she was on target. He didn’t like the feeling of being bit, but he could handle it. She suddenly spun around and feet flew towards his shoulder. He was already focused to move, and he turned right and kicked a hoof towards her face. He then turned right again and landed another kick with his other hoof towards her shoulder. He wasn’t thinking about the consequences, just that this was battle.

[WC: 129
Defense: He got bit in the flank, but then uses a back hoof to aim at her head
Attack: Turn around and aimed his other hoof towards her neck/shoulder region]

4/4

Strolling Along
Tying my Tongue
Gears are Shifting


I am no longer going into the cbox due to recent events. You can PM on this (Valentine's) account, go on my skype (teeroo777), or PM me on DA (teeroo). Thank you.


Credits to picture on page, since they won't show up since they are in black: http://twiwolf.deviantart.com/art/Free-Love-362011598

Psyche the DarkEmpress Posts: 380
Deceased
Mare :: Unicorn :: 15.3 hh :: 8 (ages in Orangemoon) Buff: ENDURE
RayoDeSoleil
#10

This time, she felt his flesh in her teeth, and as she danced away the sharp tang of blood was in her mouth. Her back hooves hit air, missing her target, and landed again, but before she could dart away, his counter attack was on her. She jerked her head, narrowly avoiding a hoof to the face, which could easily leave her badly wounded. But she wasn't quite quick enough to dodge the second kick, which hit her squarely in the shoulder. She winced, but kept moving; it would become quite the nasty bruise, but it wouldn't cause any lingering damage. Pulling away from the light stallion, distancing herself, she called a halt. "Not bad, my dear," she told him, slightly out of breath. The fight had felt good; she hadn't sparred in far too long, save the Battle of the Edge.


[W/C | 142 | Closing Defense]

[OOC | Defense - She avoids a kick to the head but takes a hit to her shoulder, then runs to put distance between them.]

Walk walk walk.
"Talk talk talk."
Think think think.


Official Posts: 847
Administrator
Stallion :: Equine :: ::
Official
#11




P s y c h e | V a l e n t i n e
- - - - -
By my verdict PSYCHE is the winner.

PSYCHE -- post 1 (attack only)

[Realism]
+ 1| Attack: horn to shoulder

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy read

VALENTINE -- post 1

[Realism]
- 1| Defense: being sliced by a horn in the first attack, when she gave you warning and she directly headed towards you is an attack that could have easily been fully avoided. The injury description was also not specific enough.
- 1| Attack: You do not explain what you are attacking with
+ 1| Attack: weight ram

[Prose]
0| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy read

PSYCHE -- post 2

[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: dodges flank attack
+ 1| Defense: dodges ram
0| Attack: feint - be sure to specify what you are attacking with, just saying you dropped your maw isn’t enough.
+ 1| Attack: bite at neck

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy read

VALENTINE -- post 2

[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: fooled by feint
0| Defense: bite grazes him – specify further the injury, is he bleeding, did it hurt, etc.
0| Attack: horn attack – this attack was confusing and I’m not sure how he is positioned relative to her or what side of her he is attacking. What does using the ground mean?

[Prose]
- 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
- 1| Easy read

PSYCHE -- post 3

[Realism]
0| Defense: scraped by horn – needs more injury description
+ 1| Attack: bucks out
+ 1| Attack: ram – unlikely she’d push him over unless he wasn’t on all four feet during the impact, horses have pretty good balance and I wouldn’t say she has the sheer weight to just knock him over, not many horses would.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy read

VALENTINE -- post 3

[Realism]
- 1| Defense: rolling away from buck – a horse would never willingly get on the ground much less roll on the ground to evade something, they are very exposed, slow and ungraceful on the ground in this manner. It’s also not realistic timing wise he would have completely avoided the buck. Best bet int his scenario would have been having it avoid your head and it hits your neck, chest, shoulders or side.
- 1| Defense: charging at her was a good idea, but no mention of injury sustained and I don’t see how his forehand would be up but his hind end down if they hit head on.

[Prose]
- 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
- 1| Easy read

PSYCHE -- post 4

[Realism]
0 | Defense: collision – like the breath taking part but no other description of injury, there’d be lots of bruising.
+ 1| Attack: nip at haunch
+ 1| Attack: buck at shoulder

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy read

VALENTINE -- post 4

[Realism]
0 | Defense: bitten – again more description. You say flesh tore but what does that mean.
- 1| Defense: you acknowledge the buck but don’t say if it landed or not…
- 1| Attack: her face is away from him, and even more so if he turns around to kick out.
- 1| Attack: turning right even more would only lead him even further away from her shoulder.
- 1| Powerplay: “He then turned right again and landed another kick” – saying landed implies that he hit Psyche, that is her decision to make.

[Prose]
0| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
0| Easy read

PSYCHE -- post 5 (defense only)

[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: dodge head kick
+ 1| Defense: take shoulder kick


PSYCHE

[Bonus]
+ 1| Surroundings
+ 1| Health

[Injuries]
None.

[Creativity]
+ 1| I loved the rock weaving!

Comments: I love how well your incorporated her thoughts, personality and motive for everything all throughout the post, I always sensed Psyche the whole fight and felt inside her head. You did good utilizing your surroundings, but don’t forget about breed differences of similarities! You have a very good grasp on the mechanics of fighting and everything was easily understood. Your biggest thing to work on is describing your injuries better and how they will affect you throughout the fight (even if that is no effect), but otherwise you did great.

VALENTINE

[Bonus]
None.

[Injuries]
None.

[Creativity]
None.

Comments: You had some good ideas of how to tackle horse fighting, but I think perhaps you could benefit with reading old fight threads and looking at horses fighting in real life/video because some of your timing, positioning and mechanics, like balance, weren’t correct. Remember to utilize your surroundings and the breed differences between you and your opponent more during a fight. It’s also incredibly important to add emotion to the fight. A lot of your posts were incredibly short and felt very rushed, as I’ve read other posts by you and know you have greater potential, so it felt as if you weren’t completely applying yourself to this and it showed in your posts. So to improve research a bit more about how horse fighting works and be a bit more detailed and descriptive, especially with your attacks and injuries sustained as well as your emotion.

TOTAL
PSYCHE - 75
VALENTINE - 45


Image Credit: dirkjankraan @ Flickr


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