the Rift


[Judge] Come Forth into the Storm and Rout [Faelene]

Tolio Posts: 110
Deceased
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 17.3hh :: 6 Years 8 Months Buff: NOVICE
Brit
#1







Sound is muted. Birds have silenced their lamenting cries, those that remain so steadfastly through the frost. The wind however is steady and persistent. It draws small whirls of snow up from its resting place, creating little hurricane devils that last only as long as the wind plays with it. In the muted silence of everything else, the wind is a howling beast. It is not necessarily that loud in reality but it is quite troublesome for the young stud to bear. Eyes of molten mercury squint in a miniscule fashion against the whipping it has caused. Once kind and playful eyes have turned, shifting unseen into troubled and irritated. It is tamer here than the steppe where he lives, but it is no less irritating. Long lean pillars push forward through the cannon deep snow, ignoring the cold as it has long been ignored since the first blanket of white descended. His legs have not yet reached a state of comfortably numb, as he can feel all the way down to the freezing earth against the soles of his hooves. 

Crimson and cinnamon canvas are bared to the colorless world like the breast of a bluejay. Violent and so intrusively there. Hiding is impossible in this season, so unlike the one before it. Unlike the wraiths that can disappear into these likened backgrounds, Tolio is a sore thumb. He is a splash of blood in a land that has been, in ironic words, bled dry of all color. 

 But Tolio has nothing to hide from. 

In fact he is seeking someone. A shadow of a doll with bloodied locks along her crest and a horn as wicked as the one resting upon his forehead. Visage belies nothing as it is raised high to the heavens, a sound working itself up and out from the very depths of him to split the air in the only other sound that exists beside the wind. Trumpeting out for this maiden who enticed him home with her independence and spirit. 

Friendship leaves them with no animosity. It is not battle that Tolio is seeking. It is a learning experience, a spar between two individuals who will not harm one another severely but will persistently push each other to new heights. 

There is no sun these days. A blanket so much like the one covering the earth is reflected in ashy grey tones in the sky. It is bright in a way that only a winter world can bring. But vision is not helped even with the improved all over lighting. Wind is a powerful enemy that refuses to be forgotten. Pulling and snapping at his mane like a conniving madman. Whether it aided him or not would soon be discovered. All that remained was to await the arrival of his partner. 

[[I don't know what you want, considering word count and how many posts. Although I won't completely fill out the setting my post hopefully has enough clues if you desire to do that. Excuse the Robert Frost line for a title. This is done on an iPod so hopefully it's acceptable and it's my first spar so bear with me!]]






Faelene Posts: 297
Hidden Account
Mare :: Unicorn :: 16 :: 9 Buff: NOVICE
Sica
#2
F a e l e n e
this is how we'll dance
Frostfall had a long song, the cold wind running across snow and ice searching for warmth to steal. It howled it's craving, endless for what it wanted, pushing with an invisible force. Sometimes she felt she was getting use to the sound, the sharpened cold, and endless white that numbed and dulled. Yet there were times her body craved warmth, a stretch of sunlight after it's days in hiding. She would think Leander would one day have his wish of her leaving the north if the snowstorms did not cease. Frostfall could end, but it would always be cold here and she wasn't sure if she could live in white eternal.


Faelene was a resilient sort, and though this afternoon the sun again was tucked away, it's warmth real but not strong she hung close to the Steppe with no intention to leave.The red maned, however, was grateful for her thick, darkened coat that shielded her. At last her wound had started to recover, beneath her long hairs there was no sign of past damage. Tor had done a great job in fixing her shoulder, it did not pain her even with the nipping cold. Briefly thought of the healer wondering where she lived, but had no answer. A light sigh, she rubbed her nose long her forearm, wanting to rid of the icicles that clung to her muzzle.

A voice called for her, and her charcoal stained crown rose to listen to the summons. Knowing the tune of his vocals, and some knowledge of his heart it had to be Tolio. A surprised smile draws upon her lip, he wanted to practice did he? Sadly she had not yet spent more time with the chestnut stallion, and found herself trotting long the white snow to answer his call. She was eager to see him, and have something useful to do. This would be interesting.

The wind continued to strike out across the plain, scattering the crystals, and tugging at her long cords of red mane to whip skyward. There was no slowly her stride, her faded silver irises found red and white toned stallion. A light nicker strummed from her own cords in greeting while her limbs continued to fight against the snowdrifts that did not quite reach her knees. When she came to him she did not hold back, but bumped her dark nose to his white painted muzzle. Tolio was someone she trusted beside Mauja, Delinne, and Leander which said quite a bit. "You ready?" There was excitement to her question, and a bright smile. Since this was only practice there was no huge pit of worry in her gut, or fear from the invasion. She would wait for his answer, and then tt was with a tip of her head she shifted herself away from him. She would put the sun to her left, but not behind her...ready when he was. The open field of snow would provide enough space, and landing if needed.



Tolio Posts: 110
Deceased
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 17.3hh :: 6 Years 8 Months Buff: NOVICE
Brit
#3







All that remained was waiting. How much time was spent, he pondered, simply waiting? Letting time slip past you like lukewarm rivers. Never paying close attention to the seconds, minutes, hours that passed by. Caught in limbo, a state of mind that you dragged yourself into and escaped only when whatever you were waiting for happened upon you. That is exactly what Tolio experienced; time seeping by without care or close observation. This bubble, this tiny fortress around himself only broken when a feminine nicker of greeting is cast to the wind. Letting the melody of welcome flow along its currents to cinnamon colored ears that twitch and perk with renewed interest.

Smile draws upon his visage as shadow cloaked mare with blood stained hair draws over the snowy plains towards him. It is a weight off his shoulders to see her, the maiden that has set his hoof upon the right path. Too much time has passed since he has seen her face. The only being in this bleached landscape that he feels truly close to. Faelene is a sister to him, and forever her name would be sewn onto his heart. That is why he has called her; it is she he trusts enough to discover his talents with. To not be offended should he lose, to listen should she offer guidance. Nobody is perfect.

Ebony muzzle meets shocking white and Tolio snuffles a greeting to her, inhaling her familiar scent. Beautiful smile fills his vision and an answering one crawls brighter and larger upon his face. "When you are." They are the only words that need to be spoken. She draws away without a sound, the wind has vanished all noises that they would normally make. The sun is to his right, just to her shoulder, though it is bleak and the clouds are persistent he notes it all the same.

They are within one pace of each other, Faelene has not shifted far. Emotions are locked down, eyes sharpening and slowly building up excited tension in slim shoulders. The move is his. It is a game of chess that involves much more than skill. Muscles that have tensed and coiled beneath his hide are ready, and Tolio will keep his face devoid of preparation the best he can. At last some unnoticed signal goes off in his head and it is a ball of energy released in one blast. The thrill and adrenaline has taken him in and Tolio is nearly swept up in it as he surges forward, powerful hindquarters inherited from his sire propelling him forward towards the gal. Forelegs are brought up halfway to his chest, extending down to reach the earth only when his mass acts against him. It is not far from her and Tolio is thanking this as he is within her reach in moments.

They are even in speed with their slim builds and Tolio knows that he will be easily evaded should he continue in his lunge. He waits until he reaches her, making sure his forehooves are planted firmly on earth for balance. Slides his legs down in a parody of a rodeo stop, head lowered and horn pointing mid chest to neck, aiming to pierce her with it. Momentum has him continuing on even as his forelegs push along the earth to slow him, teeth bared and aiming for a thin black leg. At this angle he nears her right foreleg, lower to the ground than he is comfortable with. Snow is pushed and piled up in this lowered slide of his and his neck is stretched as it is meant to be at least an inch higher, yet Tolio is focused only on forcing her backwards, to show an opening. Collision is imminent if the gal refuses to move.

Let the game begin.

[[W/C: 638 Summary: Tolio lunges forward hoping to force Faelene into defense. Once his front hooves are firmly on the ground as he lands in front of her, he drops his hindquarters in a rodeo stop with his head slightly lower than normal to aim his horn somewhere along the top of her chest and her neck. His head is therefore angled to a small degree and he bares his teeth towards her left foreleg hoping to bite it should she not move.]]






Faelene Posts: 297
Hidden Account
Mare :: Unicorn :: 16 :: 9 Buff: NOVICE
Sica
#4
ooc:Sorry for the hold up. Mind feels like mush so I hope this isn't to awful. <3

F a e l e n e
this is how we'll dance

Tolio was a soul she did not feel ashamed to know. When they had met she felt close to him, a simple understanding, and hold as if all along their paths were meant to cross. Maybe, they were to accomplish something in knowing each other. Maybe, they needed each other. She couldn't say. No matter the red stallion, despite how her mind did not understand the world works, was definitely a bit of brightness the cold could not consume. Brightness and warmth were needs in her book in this desolate, and cruel often bitter world. And Faelene counted herself blessed to know that nothing else had stolen that away from him. So it was easy counting him as a brother. And it was quite unlikely she would shake the feeling of owing him promise to a good life since she brought him to the Steppe.


Eyes of rimmed silver drawn to her target so keenly, once again taking in the details of his chestnut coat, and hidden flesh. He would be agile, and quick she reminded herself. It would be much more different than sparring Cineviam. Could she easily move? Should she worry about inexperience leaving her hurt worse? The silent stares, the pull of solid battle masks to hide actions were placed on both sides when he spoke. The wind has snatched away many a thing, and she took a last opportunity to collect a breath without the frosty debris; without the cut of it's force.


Then it begins.

The single movement of his body causes a shift in her own hind end ready for a direct frontal assault. They were in close perimeter, and by the quickening pace of her heart she felt the warm liquid pool thicker into her limbs in ready. The dark mare was more than ready while he drove himself forward with a lowered stance, raised horn for her. Fast thinking she pressed her weight to her forequarters, and shoved to the right at the last minute. It was a quick dodge, but kept her close in proximity without taking a full weighted blow. This would be where she makes her own attack. Tolio off to her left, she makes a quick lunge with little time for thought. The power coming from a push upon the frozen earth to her hind haunches, she snakes her neck out with open jaws. She had every intention to bite for the left side of his neck, while extending her front hooves to dive downward at his own. She doubted to meet her mark, but had every intention of getting something or seeing how quick a mover he was.


[1/2 attack]
[Word Count;447]
[Summary:Faelene dodges to the right before Tolio crashes into her. I picture she is just to the side of him. So she quickly returns an attack, stretching out to nip the left side of his neck while raising her hooves upward to crash downward at his own.]




Tolio Posts: 110
Deceased
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 17.3hh :: 6 Years 8 Months Buff: NOVICE
Brit
#5







Both had retreated into thought, though eyes never left the other's form. Faelene had seemed entirely strong and self sufficient when he'd met her, but Tolio couldn't help but wish to stay beside her. She lightened his heart, took away the troubles he felt as whispers of Psyche and the Plague took over their home. The home she had graciously opened to him. He was infinitely grateful that she remained with him, beside him. Nothing would take her away from him, and if they tried they would meet his wrath. It was as simple and cleanly cut as that.

Speed would be of the essence here. Both were slim and built for it, something that would match them evenly. Brute force was something Tolio could not offer up, despite his height. There would be no holding back, not with Faelene. She was not inexperienced, yet neither was he, and he took this into consideration. Both were at least seasoned in one battle, whether in distant lands or here in Helovia's heart.

When movement takes over, everything else disappears. There is no more time for consideration and observation.

Charcoal body leans subtly backwards, coiling strength in her hindquarters. Yet she made a decision he had not foreseen, lunging to the right away from his attack. Her dodge was fast, as he had been pondering earlier, but she was still close beside him. Attack clearly avoided, he struggled to pull out from his momentum and raised his crown, knowing he must be ready to move for whatever she did next. Away from the ground, he found balance and slowed himself, though his hind legs remained farther beneath him than normal. Her teeth reach for him, but her movement draws his eyes to where her hooves are placed. More concerned for his legs than his neck, Tolio took the positioning of his legs to draw his legs up and swing them towards the right away from her blow. As he does this, only his chest is moved to any degree, and he knows the pain will come soon. Teeth connect on his neck and sharp pain flows along the arch of his crest, eyes narrowing as face contracted and steeled itself in pain. Adrenaline takes away the edge, and surely he feels the pricks and beading of blood along his similarly colored coat.

Forelegs have swept far enough to the right, and he is throwing his entire body in that direction. Both hoping to remove his neck from her grip and a greater purpose driven by instinct. When his hooves had touched ground again he drops his head, feeling the painful pull as he tries to rip from her teeth. Balanced now on the front half of his body, and diagonal to her, he curls up his hind legs and bucks, aiming for her belly and flanks in this position to drive her away from him and allow him the chance to confront her once again. Heart hammering, feeling rather excited if distant. Something wild is rearing itself in his head, and he feels the desire to laugh but does not.

[2/2 Attack]
[[Words: 518]]
[[Summary: Tolio is surprised by Faelene's sudden dodge, and knows he is not best suited remaining close to the ground. Lifts his head up so the front half of his body follows. However his hind legs remain close beneath him, which he doesn't like. Sees her teeth coming for him, but knows his legs are more important to him and swings them far to the right. Faelene's bite connects, and he is grimacing and hurt while he lets momentum and his own force push him to the right. Head drops and he bucks. At this point I imagine them not completely perpendicular, and he is aiming to kick at her flanks to both release him (should she remain attached to his neck) and also drive him away to give him room]]






Faelene Posts: 297
Hidden Account
Mare :: Unicorn :: 16 :: 9 Buff: NOVICE
Sica
#6
F a e l e n e
this is how we'll dance
Tolio she rather not damage in any way. Even her and Cinneviam had give each other wounds. Real was better, and Faelene rather know he could protect himself, fight back, something. There would always be such needs, especially for the time to come if war would be upon them. Or their paths would change and they would be called the traitors. The mare would not be disappointed with what she found through this spar. There was something there she had been sure of, a fire ready to burn and consume, doing what it must. That's what he needs, and this was the perfect way to let it out. There is light and darkness in all.


Crashing through the snow she felt icy shards dig against her wet limbs when they landed down. The wind intensified the sharp bite of it all, especially where she had been burned the hair still thin upon her withers. This made her irritated, but at the same time she tries not to think about the relief her hooves hadn't met flesh when her own teeth tear into it. Tolio did not respond with a scream or jerk. He took the bite, even when her weight shifted to her forelimbs, but she could feel his own form doing the same. This was going to hurt.


Releasing his skin of further damage with a free mouth she is ready for a short kick or strike. The dip of his head, he is going to make sure his blow counts.

Bending her knees out of instinct her body attempts to tuck itself, and than launch her straight past him. This time she would not be successful to be unscathed. His hooves hit the side of her hip, just above the bone where her rump starts to curve. It's a decent strike, causing her leg to misstep, and her front limb to slip upon the powdered snow. Teeth grinding, her red tail whips against her side in struggle and stubbornness. She manages to find grip again to regain balanced, continuing to get a good length away from him, but only after getting a taste of snow in her mouth by the damn wind. A rough snort escapes her nostrils, and her ears tuck to her head;they don't exist in her tangle of red mane. Facing Tolio she takes for him at a slow lope, placing her horn down as if to stab him in the chest. Just before she reaches him she leans to the left, running by him to throw out her hind legs at his shoulder, and barrel. It is not a fully extended buck, but quick and hard.




[1/2 attack]
[Word Count;451]
[Summary:Faelene bites him, releases when he goes to buck. She tries to dodge but he still hits her haunch. She very ungraceful walks past him to get out of his reach. She then faces him charging if to directly hit him, but in the end runs by him to kick at his shoulder/barrel area.]



You get a defense post and than it can be judged I believe.

Tolio Posts: 110
Deceased
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 17.3hh :: 6 Years 8 Months Buff: NOVICE
Brit
#7







Something existed within all creatures, a flame that burned no matter one's path. Be it healer, fighter, crafter. There was always a flickering, burning fire in their chest that consumed them in the heat of battle. Perhaps Tolio embodied this a little obviously with how genetics had gifted him with colors. Either way, on this snowy turf, it glowed within the both of them. Enclosed in it was a mixture of passion, skill, and drive. Whose burned brighter didn't matter any longer. The clashing was enough to let each unicorn walk away with proud stature and knowledge lodged deep into their memory.

That was what kept Tolio from sinking into instinct, refusing to forget that this was not some shadow faced, unnamed foe. This was Faelene. Even as they locked together, her teeth deep in his neck, his own face twisted with the grief of pain, this was still Faelene. Pivot. Kick. As he had so desperately wished for her jaw unlocked, releasing stained skin from her grip. He is counting on this blow, whether it connects or not. Connection thrums through his legs as he hits her, a rebound of numbed pain, shock that travels up his body to his lower back. The slip of her hooves on snow is all he has to rely on the fact she is stumbling quickly ahead of him.

Head remains lowered, momentarily robbing him of his sight of her. When back hooves reach snow once more he staggers a little and squares his stance. Faelene has one last thing to dish out, and Tolio knows she's no sucker and isn't going out with her tail between her legs. The wind is attacking his face but he refuses to blink longer than required. Neck throbs with the phantom of her teeth remaining, though the pain could not be compared to ghostly at all as crimson life seeps down towards his shoulder. Ears are pinned in his direction and Tolio lowers his head an inch, bracing slim shoulders for what comes next.

Almost imitating his initial move, gnarled horn is aimed at his chest as Faelene surges towards him in a way that's both graceful and deadly. As she approaches he gathers himself, ready to jump to the side. Ivory horn is lowered in a threatening move, a silent message that if she is to pierce him then inevitably she will be stabbed in returns. As she turns off towards his right he has already hopped a startled few inches to the side, even further startled by the hooves aimed at his shoulder. More of a crowhop than a buck, but it is a jab he can't fully avoid. Right foreleg is thrust forward to both push himself forward with his left and reduce how much can be hit by her attack. It clips, making the muscles seize up to try and reduce the pain. But he is already off, using strong hindquarters to make up for the graceful ones of his mother as he springs away from her.

There is no good in running too far, and soon he swivels back around to face her. Not face to face, but his side is bared to her so he has a place to run and a better angle to kick should she charge again. Crimson mane is blowing in his face as he watches her, foreleg bent more than usual to reduce the throbbing in his shoulder. Chiding himself incessantly for letting her surprise him when he could have possibly avoided such a blow. Squared stance is wide and planted firmly on the snow, head angled in a way he can see her but horn still facing towards her. Silent reminder of the dangers they both hold atop their crowns. Adrenaline cannot keep away the pain for much longer, as they are not in close combat now.

[[Words; 643]]
[[Defense post]]
[[Summary: Tolio lowers his head in return, knowing that if Faelene aims for his chest she will have to go through his own horn first. Hops to the left to avoid her, but is surprised both by the fact she brushes so close and her kick. Extends the leg she aims for to try and lessen the damage as well as pushing himself forward with his left foreleg. Takes a clip against the shoulder as he gains distance between them. Angles himself so that if she turns his right side is to her. Face is towards her, leg held slightly looser to stop the throbbing. Adrenaline wearing off and the throbbing of his neck becoming apparent.]]






Official Posts: 847
Administrator
Stallion :: Equine :: ::
Official
#8




T o l i o | F a e l e n e
- - - - -
By my verdict TOLIO is the winner.

TOLIO -- post 1 (attack only)

[Realism]
+ 1| Attack: charge
+ 1| Attack: horn to chest
+ 1| Attack: bite to foreleg

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy read

FAELENE -- post 1

[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: dodges to the right to avoid charge
- 1| Defense: no mention of the horn
- 1| Defense: no mention of the bite
+ 1| Attack: bite at neck
+ 1| Attack: stomp at legs

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy read

TOLIO -- post 2

[Realism]
- 1| Defense: moves hooves from her stomp – if this all happened as fast as it seems to and he is sliding/had aimed to collide into her meaning he’s still moving forward, I don’t see how he could lift his forelegs up. All his balance is on those forelegs in his sliding position.
+ 1| Defense: bite to neck
+ 1| Attack: bucking

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy read

FAELENE -- post 2

[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: buck glances
+ 1| Attack: feint
+ 1| Attack: buck

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy read

TOLIO -- post 3 (defense only)

[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: lowers horn at feint
+ 1| Defense: clipped by buck


TOLIO

[Bonus]
+ 1| Breed
+ 1| Surroundings

[Injuries]
None.

[Creativity]
None.

Comments: You have a very strong grasp on fighting! I was really appreciative of how well you described your character’s positioning and attacks/defense, making everything very easy to understand. I very much enjoyed your emotion you displayed in every post, although I think you could do more as I never felt truly wrapped up or awed. I have little to say, I’d love to see more fights from you.

FAELENE

[Bonus]
+ 1| Breed
+ 1| Health

[Injuries]
None.

[Creativity]
None.

Comments: A very close fight, you two are very well matched with your writing and fighting mechanics. Similarly you do well with placing your character and attacks/defenses and knowing timing and positioning. Same as Tolio I enjoyed the emotion you displayed but would have liked even more. I did see you try to use the surroundings a bit, but they were so minor and brief it wasn’t quite enough. Again can’t wait to see more fights from you.

TOTAL
TOLIO - 64
FAELENE - 62


Image Credit: dirkjankraan @ Flickr


Forum Jump:


RPGfix Equi-venture