[OOC: I'm going to make it ambiguous as to whether Phae and Faelene recognize each other from the Basin thread..you can decide :)]

Faelene.

Phae would recognize her anywhere, and knew her by many titles; Tolio's friend, Leander's love...Both caused conflicting and aching pains to well deep inside her. She had heard Tolio speak so highly and so respectfully of this mare. Had heard of her strength and resilience. It was an arena that Phae, the flighty, couldn't possibly hope to compete in. She remembered having expressed to Tolio that she wanted to share the skies with him...was there some bond between Unicorns, that in a similar way, she could not experience? But she loved him. More than her loved her and...there might be something else as well. But as Phae had never been IN love before, she couldn't really tell. This frustration gave way to a feeling of being defeated, as her green gaze spied Faelene. Faelene, who was her better in so many ways, and who caused her physical and emotional pains without even knowing her name.

As Phae hid in a rocky crevice, she considered her wings carefully. Once tawny and spotted like the rest of her, they were now pristine and white. She assumed it had to do with pegasi, for she had seen others who had suddenly grown similar plumage. But there was also an odd golden halo which shimmered just above her ears. It was not her odd feathering which caught her attention, but the blood stains which marred the perfect whiteness. There were a multitude of incisions on her wings, caused by the great Sultan Leander. A snarl formed silently on her lips as she thought of that moment. And now here she was, watching the mare who Tolio loved more than she, and the love of the one who broke her.

But she was learning. She was learning to move silently, even on this barren landscape, she had gone unseen. She was learning something else as well; to mask her emotions. Although flying would surely set the healing of her wings back by days, she was confident enough that should trouble arise, she could very easily distance herself from the two unicorns, who were necessarily ground bound. Stepping out, she held her wings delicately to her sides to try and protect her lithe frame from the cold; but not so hard as to disturb her healing flesh. Her sandy mane was wavy caused by the humidity that BirdSong had brought, and too much time spent near the ocean. As she trudged towards the two, her head was lowered somewhat, and as she finally neared, her eyes never raised to meet either of their gazes.

I did my best, it wasn't much
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you
And even though it all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

Lost or lonely? Faelene had gently inquired. Phae had to quite literally bite her tongue, drawing blood, to keep from shrieking: Both! Thanks to you! Damn you! But her head hung lower, and the enraged pain which etched through her green gaze would thankfully go unnoticed. Who had hurt you Tolio asked. At this however, she did raise her gaze. First, it was cast upon Faelene, immediately taking in her image and branding it upon her mind to consider later. Then, she turned to Tolio, her eyes beginning to brim with large crocodile tears. Who had hurt her? Why you did. With everything you just said to this...this...! Finishing the thought her mind was desperately trying to unravel she said one word. One solemn word, which had the potential to change the dynamic between this odd trio, "Leander." she spoke softly, but with great force.

Phae again raised her muzzle to look into Tolio's gaze, which has hardened with anger considerably. She felt that odd yearning sensation deep within her belly as she held his stare. What in the world are you doing here, you sneaky little minx He asked. Lip quivering, she shook her head slightly; wavy sandy mane falling in front of her eyes which were now thoroughly welled-up with tears. She spread her wings wide, ignoring the sharp pain which shot through them completely, so that both could see the extent of the damage Leander had done. He had caused an ice-storm to rain down upon her, and her only means of protection was to shield herself with her wings. As the now-white feathers spread apart as they fully extended, the exposed skin appeared to be raw and bloody where it had not fully healed. Many feathers had been torn off as well, and left gaping holes in the pristine white ledge. Phaedra looked deeply into Tolio's eyes, searching. Did he truly feel anything for her? Or was it all just words? Foolishly, and anticipating the reaction it would cause, she stepped towards Tolio and rested her head against his chest, listening to his heart beat. Softly, so that only he could hear, she whispered, "Brother, you said you would protect me..."

Phae had to pull herself away from Tolio's warmth, although she wished to stay pressed beside him, for as long as she could. The heated feeling in her belly had grown into her legs and chest, and began to cause a deep blush on her cheeks as well. She could feel her heart pounding - racing - as she looked into his eyes. Holding his gaze, she raised her wings even higher as if saying see what you've let happen to me..? Her tears stained his cinnamon coat a deep mahogany, where she had pressed up against him.

When her mind regained composure, and could once again consider Faelene, Phaedra stepped back a full step, distancing herself noticeably from Tolio. She looked at Faelene, as if seeing her for the first time, and shot an accusatory look to Tolio. Phaedra did not know the feeling that she felt, when looking at Faelene was jealousy but she surely knew how it felt. This is HER doing her mind hissed. Leander was her love, was he not? Did he not yell at Phae, for even mentioning Faelene? Even though Phaedra said she had the mare's best interest at heart? Phae had already considered that Faelene may be behind this this, may have encouraged Leander, but she had never before considered that Tolio might have been involved as well. Yet were they not here celebrating? Did Phae not apparently interrupt some private moment, perhaps more intimate that the ones that she and Tolio had shared? As Phae looked back and forth between Tolio and Faelene, her breathing became ragged.

Rage, regret, and shock seemed to swell and completely drown the yearning feeling that she had been feeling towards Tolio. The line between love and hate was a very fine one, and the line, for Phaedra, was blurring rapidly. They did this her mind cooed. They don't want you!

Phaedra retreated another step, then another. It was all too much. How could she not see it before? The first time she met Tolio, he mentioned Faelene....Faelene, who Phaedra always believed would somehow be second to her. But here they were - Tolio and Faelene together, and Phaedra brutally attacked by Faelene's other love interest. How selfish could the mare be? She had already turned both stallions against her. Was The Grey her ultimate game plan? Is that why Tolio had said he couldn't leave without Faelene?!

I did my best, it wasn't much
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you
And even though it all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

Everything was blurring together. This wasn't how things were meant to go....Tolio was supposed to...choose her. But he didn't.

Are you so unwise? Bitch.
It's not Faelene's fault, don't push this on her Of course it was!

Tolio's words felt colder than the ice which Leander had rained down on her, and hurt more than her battered wings ever had. If Phaedra had been able to properly recognize the aching feeling deep in her belly when Tolio was near, and the electricity which ran through her when they touched, as love, then she would have been able to identify this new feeling as heartbreak. She felt cold all over, and deep in the back of her mind she wondered if this was how Leander had felt. A lump of emotion was beginning to well in the back of her throat, while at the same time her knees began to feel weak; like they couldn't be bothered to keep her standing anymore.

There was so much whirling around in her mind, that she couldn't put any of it into words. She thought of her encounter with Leander, and how the only reason she had been compelled to help the Throat in the first place was for Faelene, because she was a friend of Tolio. And now, both of the men in Faelene's life had hurt Phae, and chosen red-maned bitch over her. Tolio was wrong, this was her fault! Her rage cut through the icy feeling that she was experiencing, and loosened her tongue. "It is her fault!" Phaedra screamed, her voice sounding hurt and reckless. "Leander and Faelene are together!" Tears had welled in her eyes once again, and as she yelled her voice trembled with emotion. Her cheeks had coloured a beautiful crimson, and her appearance seemed to have subtly shifted from the flirtatious vixen to this wild thing: Her wavy mane hung loosely around her shoulders, glistening from the glitter which adorned the mysterious halo above her ears. The large green amulet which hung from around her neck added to the almost gypsy-like appearance that her rage had caused. If she could have seen the way she looked, she would have been amazed at the primal beauty she suddenly possessed. But there was no time for that now.

She could almost feel Faelene's cool response in her ears: We aren't together she was say calmly, or What he does isn't my fault. The thought of the mare replying to her accusations so calmy and without care only infuriated Phaedra more. And Tolio? a little voice whispered in the back of her mind. Phae didn't like female's because of how manipulative and awful they were....perhaps her mistake was forging a friendship with a gay stallion. Did it amount to the same thing? She was slowly starting to think it did...As her fierce green gaze surveyed Tolio, she realized that he probably didn't have it in him to choose between the two anyways. It was just how he was....But Phae's conscious mind couldn't accept this rationalization. She wanted him to choose, and to choose her. She craved the feeling of being needed from him, but instead she was rejected twice; not only did he not share the same confusing feelings that she had for him, but he had chosen the Unicorn to be his non-blooded sister, over her.

The momentum which carried Phae to this point in time, suddenly seemed to stop. For a moment, she recognized how truly crazy she was being, but was unable to stop the progression. She was hurt, furious at how unfair life was, and filled with an insane jealously directed towards Faelene. She had two stallions who loved her, couldn't she just have Tolio..?




[OOC: Hehe. the quote at the bottom of her table fits much better now :P Sorry that took so long! I had no idea what she was going to do!]

I did my best, it wasn't much.
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you.
And even though it all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

Moments ago, the scene before her had rushed and crashed together in her mind, likes waves haphazardly beating up the shore. Now however, for a few glorious calming seconds, things serenely seemed to pause, allowing for a moment of clarity.

She watched Tolio stumble forward in agonizing emotional pain, surely as wounded as She. Her large green eyes regarded this with sadness, rather than ager, as she finally was able to accept that neither of them was able to change; she had read it all wrong. She was foolish to have thought Tolio would have known about Faelene and Leander...of course it was a secret. Although she had spoken so openly with the Sultan about his relationship with the dark mare, that she had thought Faelene would have been as open with Tolio. She had meant to incite a protective desire within Tolio, and instead she had only wounded him, something she never meant to do - at least, not in this way. She wanted guilt, not tears flowing from the cinnamon stallion. As if in a trance, she watched Faelene move to his side, physically lending support to him, in a way which also soothed him emotionally.

None of them could change.

Phaedra needed a protector, someone to stand up for her and take her side, but Tolio could never be that rock she needed. This realization was solidified as Tolio appreciatively accepted Faelene's physical brace, softly mumbling into her dark pelt. With a cold clarity, Phae realized that it was her emotional attachment to Tolio which had ultimately initiated this situation. Her inner-mind forgave her transgressions, for how could she have known? She had never experienced love before; had never known the ugly side to the emotion which had brought her such joy and inner turmoil. She did however, know exactly what mares were like. She should have known that Faelene would manipulate a moment that should have been just between Phae and Tolio...She listened as Faelene denied her relationship with Leander, but it didn't just stop there - the mare had also decided to insult Phae as well. How could Tolio be so blind to Faelene's malicious attacks of her? Phaedra hadn't said a single word to her, and yet here she stood hurling verbal attacks; and there Tolio stood silently letting it happen. He had defended Faelene simply against one of Phae's looks but would do nothing to protect his other sister now?

But she knew exactly why.

Tolio needed Faelene in exactly the same way that Phae needed him. Faelene provided stability and strength. She was taking his side even though it was not her fight to take, even though really, Phae was not in the wrong here, at least she didn't think so. Tolio had said he would love her and be a brother for her - and wasn't this precisely what big brother's were for? For comforting their own when they were hurt? It wasn't a lie that Leander was the one who did this, and it wasn't a lie that Faelene and Leander were together. Perhaps her budding love for Tolio was to blame for her irrational tears but Phae had not lashed out at Faelene, as the dark mare had done to her - she merely came to her friend, her supposed brother in a time of need, and was now being cast away.

Faelene only appeared to be 'winning' this battle, because Phae could simply not find the words to defend herself. But Faelene was wrong, oh so wrong. The mare knew exactly what she was doing; each word hit Phae as if a hand beating on a drum - but the mare had underestimated just who she was stealing from. Faelene was a cold actress - Phaedra had seen absolutely zero emotion enchant the dark mares features when Phae had mentioned that Leander had been the one to injure her...

But the slow passage of time was dissapearing, and reality was fading in. The reality was, there was nothing she could do. She could not best Faelene, and Tolio had obviously made his decision. I'll fix it, I promise!" Tolio had said; but no, he wouldn't. He could but a final icy grip of pain overwhelmed her heart as she comprehended the truth of the situation. It was done. She wished more than anything she could erase her feelings for him, and go back to being the bubbly baby-sister that he had been so enchanted with, but she couldn't do that either. The only thing left was to remove herself from his life completely. It seemed that was her only option, the one Faelene was demanding.

She turned her green gaze to Tolio now, taking in his deep beautiful features for what she believed to be the last time. Memories flashed before her eyes: Their meeting on the beach, offering Tolio and Faelene a home in The Grey, meeting with Leander for the sole purpose of protecting Faelene and Tolio; the walks they would never have together, the talks..the secrets. Phaedra had even foolishly considered asking the God's for a way to make him fly, so she could share the skies with him. All of her anger had simply faded away, leaving nothing but complete sadness and regret. Phaedra extended her wings, ignoring the pain which etched through her wounded appendages, for it was nothing compared to the agony in her heart. Bright red blooms of blood appeared in between her feathers as the broken skin cracked open. She desperately wished to go to him, to lay her muzzle against his one more time. To feel his warmth on her skin, to breathe him in and cover him with her wings. But he stood barred by the black wraith. Phaedra no longer held any anger towards Faelene, at least not in these last moments - she was doing precisely what a good sister ought to do, but she was still wrong, even if Tolio's love for the dark mare had blinded him to her treachery. Her eyes shimmered as she commanded herself to hold back the sobs that so desperately wished to escape her lips.

I love you. her eyes seemed to say, and; I'm sorry..

Nothing she could say would be enough, it never could be, but she hoped he understood, for she would never have the opportunity to explain. With a final long-gaze, she etched his image into her memory, erasing Faelene from the mental picture as best as she could, but the mare would always remain a black smear marring her image of her cinnamon friend.

Rearing back, Phaedra forced herself into the air, her wings pumping painfully to create lift from a complete stand still. Phaedra was fast, and was perhaps flying faster than she ever had before, having never been fueled by an emotion quite this powerful. As her sooty lithe form dissapeared into the clouds, a single feather floated back to the beach in her wake. It was nearly the colour of the sand, but had one spot on it, connecting it to Phaedra who shared the same odd-spotting.

It was done.

I did my best, it wasn't much.
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you.
And even though it all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah