the Rift


First Move [Smoke] - {Judge me!}

Paladin the Valiant Posts: 153
Deceased
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 16.3 hh :: 15 Years Buff: DANCE
Tamme
#1




From the dawn of time, to the end of days
I will have to run, away
I want to feel the pain, and the bitter taste
Of the blood on my lips, again



[Location: Foothills in the summer. It's really hot outside. Sun has not yet reached its apex.]

Paladin saw her rueful grin and smirked at the mare. The stallion stilled and inhaled deeply, and he accessed the part of his mind that he reserved for fighting. His upbringing, history and past came flooding back - every possible maneuver he had learned etched into his muscle memory. The stallion's crimson eyes seemed to darken, and he swished his tail around his fetlocks like a snake with hypnosis eyes.

A dark ear flickered as he heard claws on rock, and Paladin glanced, finding Zaffre sitting, waiting on a rock. Despite himself, the warrior grimaced. Dragons were creatures he feared and honored; they could do more damage to his body that any other could. Burns not only sting, they are impossibly difficult to heal. Still, in a world full of equines and dragons, he would have to better learn how to battle their flames and claws.


She told him that the first move was his. He nodded and stepped lightly on his hooves, shockingly deft and agile for his size. The stallion trotted forward slowly, knowing that the typical bulwark technique of running headlong rarely ever worked to his advantage. Paladin came close to Smoke and snorted in the summer's heat, his crimson eyes watching her body with little hint of emotion; he was a warrior now and nothing more.

The Valiant stretched his neck in a single, fluid movement and opened his jaws, snapping them quickly on what he hoped was the skin on her neck. He was facing her, and he lifted one of his forelegs in tandem with his well-aimed bite, striking down near her own, delicate right canon. Perhaps, if he was fortunate, one would land: either the bite to her neck or a scrape to her canon. Perhaps neither, but he was ever watchful and highly experienced.


[1/2 - Paladin aims to bite her neck and scrape her front right leg.
Following this post: http://helovia.net/showthread.php?tid=306 , so no powerplay in saying what she said. :) ]


ABOVE ALL ELSE, EQUALITY

Smoke the Wild Rose Posts: 128
Hidden Account
Mare :: Equine :: 15.2 hh :: 10 Buff: SWIFT
Zaffre :: Common Blue Dragon :: Fire Breath Kachie
#2
Quietly she watched him, dark eyes observing his every move. One white-edged ear twitched in quiet amusement to witness his sudden awareness of the dragon that sat above and gazed down upon them. She had no intention of calling upon the dragon unless the circumstances demanded it, and he would know when his aid was most needed.

He approached her then, at her invitation, pacing forward at a slow trot while the summer sun beat down with a vengeance upon their dark coats. Her weight shifted slowly even as he closed the distance at an almost sedate pace. It was unusual, for her, being so accustomed to more fierce drives in these first moments. She suspected this would be no heated spar of trying to deal as much damage as possible in as little time as was given. Rather, a calculating one to instead. And that suited her just fine. They were fairly evenly matched, she thought. He was just that little bit taller, she the more heavily built though he'd strived for a muscularity she'd never thought to seek herself. Magic and cunning and strategy would tell in this.

Abruptly he lashed out, head snaking forward with spread jaws to nip and catch. Automatically she reared, to hear his teeth snap shut just a brief whisper from her skin. His hoof clacked off of hers, doing no damage but sent a flicker of surprise through Smoke's consciousness. He was fast, and very precise. She knew he'd meant to rake her leg, but only her own abrupt movement had kept that strike from doing any harm.

This assessment lasted less than a heartbeat, in the moment in which her rear reached the maximum height she'd intended, weight rocking back on her powerful haunches. Then she lunged forward, intending to drive her mass into his chest or shoulder, teeth snapping to catch at his neck, though she'd be just as happy with a grip on his mane. It was entirely intentional to be off center from him, wary as she was of the horn that sprouted from her forehead. Such a weapon had scarred her hide before, and she was not keen to feel one pierce her skin once more.

[1/2 - Rears to dodge his bite, unintentionally redirects kick against her own hoof. Lunges into him to shove and bite at neck/mane.]

Paladin the Valiant Posts: 153
Deceased
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 16.3 hh :: 15 Years Buff: DANCE
Tamme
#3




From the dawn of time, to the end of days
I will have to run, away
I want to feel the pain, and the bitter taste
Of the blood on my lips, again



She was an incredibly worthy opponent. The mare rose to her hind legs, able to barely escape his jaws and avoid losing precious skin on her foreleg at the same time. Also, she was placed in a glorious position to attack him, and his crimson eyes watched carefully. Smoke was built more heavily than he, and he watched her hind muscles tense beneath her. She was going to lunge at him! Instinct told him to curl his neck and allow her to impale her committed mass into his horn, but she was not an enemy he wished to slay.

Besides, that was way too easy. Paladin spun on his haunches, twisting away from her lunge and turned his head to see what she would do once she landed. However, his gaze was met with her opened jaws, and he ducked quickly. He managed to escape his neck being damaged. Still, some of his crimson and white mane was caught as her ivories closed, and he grunted in pain as it ripped from his crest. Absently Paladin made a note to shear off the entire lot of hair - useless, frivolous mane...

Paladin did not allow for any time to be lost, and he fell onto his forehand. After his spin, his hind end was facing her, and he lashed out with his solid, hind hooves, grateful for the fact that he was not born with soft, cloven toes. He aimed for any part of her body that had made purchase close, and he lifted his neck again to glance behind him, though he listened carefully with dark ears for any further movements on her part.


[2/2 - Smoke manages to bite his mane and rip some of it out; he aims to kick her as she lands ]


ABOVE ALL ELSE, EQUALITY

Smoke the Wild Rose Posts: 128
Hidden Account
Mare :: Equine :: 15.2 hh :: 10 Buff: SWIFT
Zaffre :: Common Blue Dragon :: Fire Breath Kachie
#4
There was a whisper of admiration that slipped through her mind, recognizing the moment in which he discarded the easy answer of angling his horn into her passage. She knew he was a warrior, born and raised into it in a way she hadn't been. There'd been whispers of rumor back in Isilme, and she'd always been one to listen, consider, store. But never judge, not until she could meet the subject. This breath of a moment merely served to add to her positive opinion of him.

And then he moved, as she lunged toward him. Twisting away from her to allow her forward momentum to meet only earth and air. But he didn't get quite far enough, fast enough, away to avoid her bite, and she came away with a bit of long hair caught between her teeth, which she spat out. Gods, but he was fast. And he knew how to use that speed, just as she always employed her speed and agility more than her strength. This was getting to be rather fun.

That her forequarters were treacherously within kicking distance now didn't escape her. Nor the fact that his head was lowering, and she flung herself sideways and back in a desperate attempt at a roll-back. Even she wasn't fast enough to dodge his lashing hooves, which slammed into her side instead of chest or legs. The angle meant they skipped and scraped over skin, bringing welts to the surface even as some of her grey coat was sloughed off. Pain blossomed in their wake, making her snort against the sensation, which was startlingly painful but not enough to make her stop, and automatically draw upon her magic. A cloud of thick smoke surrounded them both, obscuring sight.

Aborting the roll-back after his kick connected, she lunged forward blindly. Going merely on the remember sight of his body ahead and to the side she aimed to come alongside him, on his right. Hoping that, in the span of the few seconds since her magic blurred sight, he wouldn't have moved. And she half reared, teeth seeking a hold on the back of his neck, at least where she thought his neck should still be. It was her intent to catch him, drive his head down, and dismiss the smoke before he quite knew what was happening. Not that she'd let the smoke completely go until she knew how these last few moments would play out.

[2/2 - Tries to do a roll-back out of the way of his kick, which slams into her side and takes off some skin. She calls up a cloud of smoke to obscure the clearing, and runs up on his right and rears, biting at the back of his neck with the intent to drive his head down.]

Paladin the Valiant Posts: 153
Deceased
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 16.3 hh :: 15 Years Buff: DANCE
Tamme
#5




From the dawn of time, to the end of days
I will have to run, away
I want to feel the pain, and the bitter taste
Of the blood on my lips, again



Paladin shook his crest as the sting from his torn mane pushed into the forefront of his mind, and he was even more convinced that he needed to lop the entire bunch of hair off. Smoke was surprisingly fast for her muscular form, and he was impressed by her ability to foresee on the battlefield. Foresight was a tool most warriors learned after many battles and long, torturous wars; however, in some, it was a natural gift. perhaps with more spars, she could develop this gift into a lethal skill. In all honesty, this spar was exciting. The pounding of his heart brought back the fond memories of his past, and he took to this fight among friends like a bird to the sky.

The crimson and black stallion felt his hooves collide with strong, muscled ribs, and the impulse jarred his body as well. He quickly regained his balance and glanced back to see the damage. His hooves, with naturally trimmed and uneven edges took off the silvery hair from her side, and thick welts marked the path they took on her barrel. Paladin moved away and turned quickly, arching his neck in a defensive stance as a thick cloud of smoke suddenly enveloped the two warriors. He could barely see his own hooves in the dark, and the scent made him want to cough. It stung his eyes, causing clear tears to leak down his face.

Paladin barely managed to stifle his coughing, and he shifted on the grass, knowing that his only saving grace would be to keep moving. He did not know if Smoke could see him, so he had to be aware. Ears swiveled on his head as he tried to rely only on his remaining sense for awareness. Thundering hooves told him that something was coming, but what and how, he could not know. Paladin felt the air shift around him, and he reared onto his hind legs, front hooves curling beneath to protect his stomach.

She collided into his body, sending him reeling onto his hind legs. Paladin was strong and tall, but he was not built with a low enough center of gravity to allow him to stay upright if he was pushed over while rearing. He was forced to lower his front end to the ground and scramble backwards, and her jaws caught on his back instead of his crest. The tender nerves along his spine screamed out at him to move, but his strained rear muscles locked into place. He scrambled on the grass, forcing his curled hocks to push his body forward, sending her ivories down his spine, tearing hair out along the way. His upward motion forced her teeth deeper, drawing blood.

This made him smile in a grimace. It had been a long time since he had battled with an opponent worthy enough to draw his blood. Once out from under her, he grunted and stretched his joints, bowing his head kindly to signify the end of their spar. "Thank you, Smoke, he said with a short laugh, punched out by a painful breath. "You have urged me to remember what it is like to be a warrior."


[Closing Defense | Paladin is confused by the smoke and rears up as she does, so her body collides with his, he moves forward and her teeth get his back and not his neck. They scrape off fur and draw blood ]


ABOVE ALL ELSE, EQUALITY

Official Posts: 847
Administrator
Stallion :: Equine :: ::
Official
#6




Paladin | Smoke
- - - - -
By my verdict PALADIN is the winner.

PALADIN -- post 1 (attack only)

[Realism]
+ 1| Mention of summer heat.
+ 1| Attack: biting at her neck
+ 1| Attack: kick to cannon
- 1| The only thing I did not like about this post is that I felt the movement was sluggish. His attacks would be too easily evaded.

[Prose]
+ 1| Easy read
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow


SMOKE -- post 1

[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: rearing to avoid bite.
+ 1| Defense: allowing hooves to touch, no injury
+ 1| Attack: using the rear to lunge at him
+ 1| Attack: biting at his neck


[Prose]
+ 1| Easy to read - watch your pronouns, though. You made Paladin a "her" at one point.
+ 1| Flow
0| Emotion - there was a mention of surprise, but not much else.


PALADIN -- post 2

[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: pivoting to avoid her lunge
+ 1| Defense: allowing a bite to the mane, avoiding injury to the neck
+ 1| Attack: kicking because his rump is facing her

[Prose]
+ 2| Emotion - Paladin goes through several emotions, and even has a bit of comedy in his thoughts.
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy to read

SMOKE -- post 2

[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: leaping back and taking the kick to the side, not enough time to evade it completely.
+ 1| Employing her magic after the shock of the kick.
+ 1| Smoke obscures her vision as well
+ 1| Attack: biting at his neck

[Prose]
+ 2| Emotion - Very affected by the kick. It changes her perspective a lot.
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy read

PALADIN -- post 3 (defense only)

[Realism]
+ 1| Being affected by the kick as well.
+ 1| Defense: almost being knocked over by the collision, forcing his front end down.
+ 1| Defense: taking a painful bite the neck and squirming to get away.
- 1| Defense: I don't think the bite would have dragged as much as described and end up drawing blood.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy read


PALADIN

[Bonus]
+ 1| Mention of difference in build
+ 1| Surroundings

[Injuries]
None

[Creativity]
+ 1| I loved the comic relief of mentioning shaving his mane off.

Comments: Paladin is very present in all of your posts. I think you have a very good mind for what is going on in the battle the whole time, and you work well with his breed and battle buff of swift. You handle your character very well throughout the fight. Awesome job!

SMOKE

[Bonus]
+ 1| Differences in build
+ 1| Surroundings
+ 1| Good use of magic

[Injuries]
None

[Creativity]
+ 1| Realistic yet creative ways to defend yourself.

Comments: Your attacks and defenses are very well thought out. Clearly, you are good at seeing the battle realistically, as you never place your character in an unlikely situation. Sometimes, you make slips on the emotions - don't forget to make Smoke present every post! Very good fight!

TOTAL
Paladin - 70
Smoke - 68





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