the Rift


[COMPLETE]All that counts is here and now | Practise Spar, Lupus
Ascended Helovian

Gaucho The Wildfire Posts: 1,004
Deceased atk: 8.5 | def: 11.5 | dam: 8
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17.2 :: 12 HP: 85 | Buff: PINNACLE
Mara :: Black Mamba Snake :: Paralyze & Vorsa :: Plain Zephyr :: Phoenix Odd
#1

 GAUCHO </style>
 


With fire to keep us warm & tools we made from rocks and bones
[Image: 5105621d5416e]</style>



Tallsun had burned away the balmy and pleasant temperatures of Birdsong with no regards for the inhabitants of the Dragon's Throat. Unlike areas like the Basin, the Throat was typically a few degrees hotter than other herd-lands but now that Tallsun had arrived, it really was a sweltering desert. Gaucho could see literal waves of heat rising from the ground, distorting the views beyond them. Mirages shimmered in the distance, and Gaucho was unable to discern which was the true natural lake, and which were merely glimmers on the horizon.

As with his spar with Aryel, in the pounding rain, the brutal heat of highnoon was as equally a poor choice for a spar. But did they not live in a desert? If bands of outcasts came to attack, would they wait until things had cooled off? Maybe...but only out of self interest; they would show no mercy to the residents of the Throat. Also, Gaucho reasoned, if he was going to be a warrior of a desert-like land, he ought to condition himself to better fight in the heat. Already his deep bay coat was lathered with slick sweat, simply from standing in the humid air. The air felt stagnant and warm as his nostrils flared; the bone piercing his nose sliding around more than usual given the build up of sweat dripping down his muzzle.

Forcing himself to ignore the heat, rather than be overwhelmed and stifled by it, Gaucho tossed his newly-antlered crown with a grunt. Cresting his thick hanoverian neck, he bucked, enjoying the brief feeling of a breeze as he launched his hind end into the air. Grunting as he landed, Gaucho pawed the ground, carving a deep dredge into the dry Throat terrain. Licking his parched lips, Gaucho moved into a light trot, prancing rather elegantly for a creature of his size. A foamy lather was beginning to appear between his thighs as he moved, and his long tail had begun to clump together as moisture wound the thick black threads together.

As he trotted, he would take a few steps in one direction, before abruptly changing course, all the while swinging his muzzle, enjoying the new weight of his antlers on his head. After having them magically bonded to his forehead, he had to re-train the muscles in his thick neck to accommodate their new weight. But Gaucho found that he enjoyed this sort of conditioning, and welcomed the additional training. But then there was that other thing, that darker itch he had felt when the antlers fused onto his brow. Was it magic? He couldn't be certain, and it also didn't seem to be the sort of thing he could command at will.

Whinnying loudly as he pranced aggressively around, he cast his steely blue gaze around for a member of the Throat who might be willing to spar with him.

[WC: Not sure since it's on my iPad. I believe <800 though.
Setting: Dragon's Throat, mid-day. The Tallsun sun is scorching hot. The location is about 50 meters away from the naturally occurring lake, on relatively flat ground.
We'll say 2 offensive posts and 1 closing defence each? If you don't want to do the introductory posts, you can have Lupus just assume that Gaucho is looking to spar, and just attack :3 Gaucho has to bleed before he can use his magic, so it's up to you whether or not you want him to :P But if he does, that might give Lupus a reason to ask for his help with his quest?

Thanks for the spar! ]



Please tag me in every post! Magic/Force is allowed on Gaucho at any time.


Lupus Posts: 118
Aurora Basin Soldier
Stallion :: Other :: 77cm :: 1
Pheonix
#2



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It must have been a while since I last came here to the Throat. Last time though I had different reasons for coming to this time. Last time was because I had heard rumours in the Basin that two of our own members had been unlawfully stolen by the population of the Throat. I saw no reason why I shouldn't have come,considering what they had done so,me being me,I walked into the Throat with my head held high without a care in the world. The meeting however had not gone as well as I had hoped for it ended in a challenge in which we lost. If I had been fighting though,the outcome would have been so so much more different. Thinking back to that day only made my hatred for this place grow as a quick speed.


But there is one good thing,or one,around here and that is the reason for me being here now. Ayaka. The rusty coloured wolf I had meet in the deep forest by the red pool that lay embedded in the depths of the forest was the only creature that had ever put a true joyful smile on my face and a glimmer in my eye and from what she had said,much to my disappointment,here in the Throat was where I would find her but I don't see how she could stand it here. The heat was incredibly hot and now my Snow White pelt had stuck in clumps with sweat because if the head. It was even hotter then last time to due to the season change,and this heat hadn't only affected my appearance. I was grumpy and restless,more so then normal anyway. Maybe a good spar would let out some of my grumpiness.

Bingo.

as I top one of the many rolling dunes I spy a stallion standing not to far from a large,shimmering lake. Wings sprouted from his side as well as two reindeer antlers from his head with a cobweb like dream catcher weaved between each antler. His bay body is decorated with sun ray markings round greyish orbs and a hand print painted on his side. A bone hooks though his nose.

Interesting.

Sand rolls down the dune almost silently as each of my paws fall down on the golden grains as I travel down to,great,him as he paces round on the flat ground surrounding the lake and as I come on to the flat sands myself a challenging whinny lets loose from his maw,a almost challenging whinny.

I accept your challenge,stallion.

"Come on then,give me your best shoot."Now on the flat I choose to stand where I would stop his pacing from being able to continue and looking up at the stallions pierced face. A almost cruel grin flickers on my sweated maw as I battle with the heat. Suddenly I leap forward,my jaws at the ready as I charge towards the big brute. I run past straight at him and time perfectly to leap up and crop on the centre of hums chest,of course though if he choose to lower his head,poking his eyes with my claws and scratching his face will do well. My neck also extended with open jaws,suddenly clamping down to grab a chunk of his chest or fleshy neck.

Sparring wasn't the reason I was here but who knows..he may have magic to help with my quest.


[586 words. Basically Lupus meets him and then charges forward,jumping up to grip on to his chest and bite him.]


"blah blah blah."




Image credit;Woxys
Ascended Helovian

Gaucho The Wildfire Posts: 1,004
Deceased atk: 8.5 | def: 11.5 | dam: 8
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17.2 :: 12 HP: 85 | Buff: PINNACLE
Mara :: Black Mamba Snake :: Paralyze & Vorsa :: Plain Zephyr :: Phoenix Odd
#3

 GAUCHO </style>
 


With fire to keep us warm & tools we made from rocks and bones
[Image: 5105621d5416e]</style>



As the form of a wolf appeared in the desert sands, Gaucho wondered idly if it was Ayaka, back to spar again. He found himself not unhappy at the thought - He liked sparring with the She-wolf, for it provided an interesting challenge to his skill set. She was small and extremely agile, making it almost impossible to use any of his normal tactics against her. Besides that, he liked the way she spoke, and found that for the most part, he could easily understand her. Others of the Throat, like Levi, spoke quickly, using words that his primitive mind didn't really understand, and he found himself frustrated in their presence. If he was going to stay in the Throat, perhaps he would need to find some sort of teacher, to help him with his words.

As Lupus neared, Gaucho realized that it was only the reflection of the faded blood-red of the sands, reflecting against his white coat that had briefly made it appear red, like Ayaka's. This creature was pure white, with pitch black eyes; a true predator. As he neared Gaucho flared his large pierced nostrils in his direction, picking up his scent. It was alien, and almost felt cold - certainly not of the Throat. While Gaucho knew nothing of who the Throat's enemies were, he was almost sure that a herd of supposed warriors did not just let anybody come onto their lands. If Ayaka, another wolf, needed specific permission to become a member of the Throat, Gaucho was almost positive that a wolf from another herd, would not be welcome. Deciding that he would rather kick someone out, rather than letting a potential threat in, Gaucho pranced forward to meet the wolf.

As his steely gaze fell over the wolf, he was relieved to see that he was affected by the heat as much as Gaucho was. Sweat dripped down the wolf's muzzle, and yet Gaucho was still under the impression that his own large dark frame would be more affected by the heat, than the wolf would. He could already feel sweat begin to lather on his chest and between his thighs, and mentally he reminded himself to conserve his energy as much as possible. Although Gaucho could easily outrun the wolf, he was sure that Lupus could beat him a sprint, so there would be no point in trying.

As Lupus darted towards him, Gaucho mentally readied himself. While he had not yet sworn his allegiance to Kri, he still called this placed home - smelled of its scent. And now, he would protect it. With a snarl of his own, Gaucho lowered his head defensively. In previous spar's, he had moved awkwardly with his antlers; his neck muscles unaccustomed to the extra weight, and unable to move very fluidly. Now however, Gaucho moved into Lupus, hoping to scoop him up into the tines of his antlers. Closing his eyes to avoid Lupus's claws, Gaucho felt one of the wolfs' hind legs (or so he believed), gauge into his nose, flaying a piece of skin off. With a squeal of pain, Gaucho tucked his nose to his chest and flung his head up violently, hoping to knock the wolf with a tine of his antlers, before dislodging him.

As blood began to rise from the cut on his nose, Gaucho could feel his magic stirring within. With a grunt, a swirl of vapour began to pour from the dreamcatcher interwoven in Gaucho's antlers, flowing down and forming into the likeness of a giant wolf, standing at least twice the size of Lupus. Snarling, the smokey creature lunged at the smaller wolf, teeth flashing. Hopefully distracted by the apparition, Gaucho lunged towards Lupus, striking out viciously with his forelegs. His hind end propelled him forward, aided by his outstretched wings to keep him balanced. His large hooves struck the air, aiming to knock into Lupus, as Gaucho danced forward.

[Summary: Gaucho lowers his head to receive the impact of Lupus's attack. As he feels Lupus's claws cut his nose, he tosses his head to try and wound the wolf, and get him off. Having spilled his blood, Gaucho uses his magic to create a wolf twice the size of Lupus, who charges at him. If the wolf touches him, it will cause numbness and fear. Gaucho runs at Lupus, half prancing/rearing/kicking with his front legs at the wolf.

Attack 1/2: Uses magic + kicks at Lupus with his front legs. ]






Please tag me in every post! Magic/Force is allowed on Gaucho at any time.


Lupus Posts: 118
Aurora Basin Soldier
Stallion :: Other :: 77cm :: 1
Pheonix
#4



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The sheer brute appearance of the stallion does not faze me one bit. If anything,it only made adrenaline pump though me faster. It was sharp and quick against big and powerful. It would be a interesting spar to say the least and hopefully it would prove well for my quest,if he had magic that was useful anyway and if not at least it would be a it of practice. Still though,I wanted this to be worth the effort, especially with this heat I am having another battle with but,much to my delight,it wasn't just affecting me. The stallion's bay coat was covered in dark patches between his legs and his chest from sweat that was forming on him from the sun's unforgiving heat.

The brute's neck lowers as I leap aim my leap at is chest,which now turns out to be his head. I grin to myself,wondering what his reaction would be in my claws caught on of his eyes and although it doesn't (anyone I expect he shuts them to protect his blue orbs) A back claw catches the end of his muzzle and I suspect it was enough to cause even the slightest bit of blood. A feeling of slight success washes over me but soon it tumbles out of my system as I am chucked up and back by the stallions head as he throws me up. I scrap by the top of his antlers causing the slightest bit of pain as the blunt point scraps across my skin. But before I could think I am coming back down onto the stallions back as vapor pours out from behind. My jaw opens wide so that when I come down on his back (unless he moves of course) I can bite his fleshy back.


*I land on the ground to be greeted by heat on the pads on my paws. I quickly turn to be greeted by a wolf at least twice the size of me and it didn't look exactly 'real',more like a foggy substance in the form of a wolf. It lunges forward but I had already taken a snarling step back from the beast,a unknown feeling settling inside me that I was not used to. Fear. I was submerged like a ship in water by the emotion but it wasn't the only feeling. I need magic to be used upon me right? And this was some magical wolf thing.,that counts doesn't it? great. I needed it to touch me in some way,not matter what and so I take a step forward and feel the cold touch of a paw on my skin which immediately turns numb and cold. It was a strange feeling that nearly makes me miss the sight of hooves above me,Flicking round my tail brushes past the wolf behind,numb and coldness now in the tip of my tail as I dart under the stallion but I don't just dart,I leap,jaws flashing to grab the flesh under his chest.

[586 words :: *I am totally unsure if he moved or not so I just assumed he did :: Purposely makes sure the wolf touches him then turns to see the flashing hoofs of Gaucho above. He leaps under him and aims a bite under his chest.]


"blah blah blah."




Image credit;Woxys
Ascended Helovian

Gaucho The Wildfire Posts: 1,004
Deceased atk: 8.5 | def: 11.5 | dam: 8
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17.2 :: 12 HP: 85 | Buff: PINNACLE
Mara :: Black Mamba Snake :: Paralyze & Vorsa :: Plain Zephyr :: Phoenix Odd
#5
 


Gravedigger, when you dig my grave can you make it shallow? So that I can feel the rain..



Gaucho realizes that he has likely made a mistake, the second he feels the ease with which he is able to toss his head, with the wolf trapped in his tines. Feeling the wolf’s claws on his back, he realized that he probably aided Lupus, who must have been thinking of jumping anyways. Liking a fucking springboard, he imagined, mentally snarling with frustration. Gaucho’s head immediately lowered back down from teh swing which put Lupus on his back, and the bay crow-hopped into the air, trying to make himself as round and unstable as possible to dislodge the wolf, who’s teeth were now sinking into his wither. The pain only intensified the frustration that he felt for making such a stupid error, and his primitive mind erased that tactic from his mental-bank.

As Lupus hits the ground, momentarily taken aback by the spirit-wolf, Gaucho is surprised to see him then taking a step forward. As Lupus touches the wolf, it dissipates with a snarl. Gaucho's confusion does not halt his body however - his mind really never had much influence over his body - as he lunges forward wings outspread for balance, trying to kick out at the wolf with his front legs* As Lupus turns into him, Gaucho is astonished to find that the wolf has evaded his flailing forelegs as he kick-pranced forward, and is almost beneath him, trying to what? Bite? Carried forward by momentum, and with his wings already aiding him in balance, Gaucho thrashed his hind-legs as he charged over Lupus, hoping to knock into his thick skull, and perhaps rattle some sense into him. What sort of idiot, weighing 1/10th of what Gaucho weighed, would run under a moving, kicking, mountain of anger? Especially after touching his spirit-wolf, which must surely have numbed him somewhat. Well, if he did get a good knock on the noggin, Gaucho wouldn’t be surprised.

Clearing the wolf, Gaucho dug his hooves into the hard red dirt, kicking up shale and dust as he forced himself to stop. Spinning around, now coated with a thick paste of sweat and Throat-dust, Gaucho squeal in anger leaping forward once again, like a horse trying to clear a water obstacle. As he flew through the air, vapors once again poured from his antlers, this time producing three medium-sized wolves. The ethereal mist moved faster than the bay, and the spirit wolves hit the ground behind Lupus and spread out, as if trying to coral him towards Gaucho. As Gaucho’s hooves struck the soil hard after his mid-air lunge, he lowered his antlers once again, hoping to knock squarely into the white wolf, propelled forward by his momentum.

Ears flattened against his skull, he braced himself for impact, his steely gray-blue eyes fixated on the form of Lupus, surrounded by the three snarling wolves. He wants to make Lupus pay for the blood dripping down his nose, and the shredded skin on his wither which is now raw and gashed from his teeth. He trains his gaze on Lupus alone, ready to alter his course should the wolf try and skirt him from the left or right.



[*From previous post

Summary: Gaucho tries to kick at Lupus with his hindlegs as he runs over top of him. Halting, he spins around and leaps forward, creating 3 wolves which land behind Lupus to corral him forward. As Gaucho lands, he lowers his antlers and tries to knock into the wolf again.
Attack 2/2: Kicks at Lupus as he charges over him, spirits, antler attack.]

Image Credits
Please tag me in every post! Magic/Force is allowed on Gaucho at any time.


Lupus Posts: 118
Aurora Basin Soldier
Stallion :: Other :: 77cm :: 1
Pheonix
#6





My grip on the stallions back is loosening though as he throws his weight up,just about all his hoofs of the ground at once. If I wanted I suppose I could of tried to cling on but then my dismount (or fall) could have been with a thud and not as graceful as I wold like so, releasing my grip on his skin,I push of with my back legs and jump over his rump to be clipped quiet harshly by kicking hoofs,pushing me of balance slightly. Where he had clipped me didn't throb with pain though,only a slight stinging sort of pain, and when I landed I landed snarling and growling.


I had come to find Ayaka,not to bloody fight some giant ape. I have,somehow,been distracted by the stallion that had called out to battle with someone,no doubt he had expected a horse of some sort though,not a wolf. But that was all in the game of fighting wasn't it? Expect the unexpected. That and think logically,something this stallion didn't seem to do. Didn't he realize how throwing his head up would throw me right onto his back? What kind of idiotic fight couldn't work that out? And with claws and teeth I could sink into him I could get a pretty good grip of him,even if I didn't manage to old on for long it still gave me enough time to bite into his withers,didn't it? Ahh the feeling of ripping skin with my jaw,it was rather refreshing.


The numbing,as I said,almost sends me into a loss of what to do but when I see the chance grab the skin under the brutes I don't hesitate and I almost forget the numb and coldness as my teeth snap at him but my jaw is knocked to the side by a back leg and soon the stallion had cleared me as if he didn't notice I was there. Now anger is surging though me as I wiggle my jaw around a bit. It wasn't to painful,just uncomfortable,as if he had knocked my bottom jaw out of place slightly. * Snarling I see the stallion has turned and again was charging towards me. My eyes dart round,looking for a place to dodge the stallion to have that feeling of fear yet again settling in me,and I hated it. Three smaller wolfs had almost boxed me in between then,one side was missing though,and that was the side of the charging stallion. Snarling I flick round and my heels and jump over one of the small gaps in between the three wolfs. I land on dense sand,my eyes scouring the land for the stallion and his whereabouts.


I honestly could not be bothered to continue. My fur was now stuck in heavy clumps from sweat and I was panting hard. It was tiring to fight anyway never mind in the boiling heat with bloody thick fur. I was happy with what I had done to him,ripping his flesh and cutting him so that blood dripped of the end of his nose. I wiggle my jaw a bit. It didn't hurt,it just felt,dislodged? If that was the word.



[*Previous post.]

[WC:548]

[Summary:Gets his jaw knocked by his hoofs as Gaucho charges over Lupus. Just over one of the small gaps in the wolfs to avoid Gaucho's charge.]

"blah blah blah."


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Official Posts: 847
Administrator
Stallion :: Equine :: ::
Official
#7




L u p u s | G a u c h o
- - - - -
By my verdict GAUCHO is the winner.
Gaucho is award one VP.

LUPUS -- post 1 (attack only)

[Realism]
- 1| Attack: Attacking Gaucho's chest. This is not a good idea for a wolf to charge head on a horse which can easily just tromple over him before he gets a chance to latch on to his chest. The side would have been a better and more logical target.
- 2| Powerplay: "My neck also extended with open jaws,suddenly clamping down to grab a chunk of his chest or fleshy neck." -- This is declarative language which reads that his jaws clamp down on Gaucho's chest or neck area, just that Lupus is uncertain of where his attack lands.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
- 1| Ease of read: You have many, many grammatical errors that made reading this post difficult. I suggest running your post through a word processor and proofreading before posting.

GAUCHO -- post 1

[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: Trying to scoop Lupus into his antlers.
+ 1| Defense: Closing his eyes to avoid the claws.
+ 1| Injury: Claws of the wolf to his nostril.
+ 1| Attack: Swinging head up and trying to hit Lupus along the way.
+ 1| Attack: Kicking with forelegs toward Lupus as the dreamcatcher wolf is attempting to distract him.

[Prose]
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy Read
- 1| Emotion: this sorely lacked emotional presence and motivation.

LUPUS -- post 2

[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: Being tossed in the air by Gaucho's horns with the unexpected throw of his head.
+ 1| Injury: Being scraped by his horns in the air.
- 1| Attack: Biting at Gaucho's back. Unless Gaucho had flung his head entirely backward, Lupus would probably be flying forward (or back the way he arrived), and not toward Gaucho's back. It was a creative thought, but not realistic.
+ 1| Touching the mist wolf was an interesting part of this post, and you handled the magic well.
- 1| Attack: Running to attack the underside of a moving horse is not smart, and not a good or plausible attack unless you want to walk away mangled.
- 1| Injury: No specifc mention of whether or not Gaucho's kicks miss.

[Prose]
+ 1| Easy Read: there were some errors, but I was never confused during this post like I was in the last one.
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow

GAUCHO -- post 2

[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: Crow-hopping to dislodge Lupus from his back.
+ 1| Attack: Running over Lupus and kicking as her leaves.
+ 1| Magic: Corraling Lupus was neat.
+ 1| Attack: Aiming to knock Lupus with his horns.
- 2| Powerplay: "form of Lupus, surrounded by the three snarling wolves" -- This is declarative language which reads that Lupus could not possibly evade being encircled or escape Gaucho's attack.

[Prose]
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy Read
+ 1| Emotion: Much better in this post.

LUPUS -- post 3 (defense only)

[Realism]
- 1| Injury: Gaucho does not kick at Lupus as he is dislodged from his back, but you write that he is clipped by hooves. Either Lupus is defying physics and jumping in front of Gaucho, or you have read your opponent's post wrong. I still cannot count this injury as being realistic.
0 | Defense: You were supposed to be attacking Gaucho's chest, and then he was going to run over you and kick after he had passed. I won't count off more points for this, but I felt I should clarify.
+ 1| Defense: Leaping over gap between the wolves and avoiding Gaucho's attack.


LUPUS

[Bonus]
+ 1| Surroundings: You mention several times the heat of the desert.

[Injuries]
None.

[Creativity]
Nothing of note.

Comments: You have made improvements in your fighting abilities. I really appreciated seeing you take some attacks during this fight, but I think you still need to work on mechanics. Don't be afraid to draw out what is happening if you get lost or confused on which way your character shoud go. Also, I really encourage the use of a word processor just to clarify the reading of your posts, as I often struggled due to spelling and grammatical errors that could easily be caught otherwise. Good job!

GAUCHO

[Bonus]
+ 1| Surroundings: Mention of the heat.
+ 1| Past experience: Comparing your spar with Ayaka to Lupus to help Gaucho decide how to go about this fight.

[Injuries]
None.

[Creativity]
+ 1| Defense: scooping up Lupus into Gaucho's antlers was a brilliant and fun idea.

Comments: I can definitely see some improvement in your skill as well. You still have some problems with declarative language which can be misconstrued as powerplay. Be extra super ultra careful when writing, and reword things if necessary. You understand well the mechanics of fighting, and I think you really just need to work on the extra details to really make your scores skyrocket.

TOTAL
Lupus - 53
Gaucho - 64


Image Credit: dirkjankraan @ Flickr


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