the Rift


[JUDGED] See it rise [Training spar, Boom]
Ascended Helovian

Midas the Gallant Posts: 1,164
Deceased
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: Immortal :: Soul is 7 (FF) Buff: HUNTER
Fina :: Common Zephyr :: Phoenix & Wakiya & Neve :: Common Zephyr :: Arctic Angel
#1
The sun was just starting to peek over the eastern horizon; I watched it rise with masked sorrow. Rays of light warmed a dusty face in soft comfort, and each beautiful wave burnt up our heaven with vibrant colors of citrus and crimson. On a normal day my intentions for being up this early might have been to pray and mediate on the coming weeks. Usually I found joy in the birth of a new day, but not this time.

The scattered clouds bunched together and created a scene of tranquility, yet I was filled with wakeful bitterness and hate—the peacefulness did nothing to calm strung nerves.

My body was tense, posed and still as a stone. Since the passing of birdsong, anxiety has only grown over the changing of hours. Everyone was staying busy with prep work for an invasion that had yet come. Though I hoped such a battle never actually came…..I also shamefully yearned for it. But not for the reasons that other warriors might, I simply wanted this battle for one reason.

Him.

The blood stallion, yet evaded me.

That beast who had so dared to wound Cera only a season ago. How could I not ponder unmet revenge?

His image spins around in my mind; body dipped in the color of plasma and broken horn dripping with poison. I knew not his name, nor had cared to ask—but it wouldn’t matter. Forever that picture would be engrained in this mind until the day of his death or mine. There was always that chance he would be lingering among the ranks of outcasts, and to meet him in battle was perhaps my most dangerous wish.

But I urged for it still, dangerous or not; this body would forcefully take back my sons honor, or die trying. Deep down…. I knew….. these emotions were wrong…. Frustration was born from the fact that our foolish gossiper had yet to solidify his threat and also how many months of tireless searching had been for nothing.

I was frustrated, and tired. Tired of hating an unseen ghost.

It was well known that dwelling on hate would create a tainted soul, through try as one might these feelings couldn’t be erased in a day, a week, or even months. Maybe I was too weak? Maybe I was not strong enough to find forgiveness in my heart for the stupid coward that had so cleverly planted a seed of despise. With a crestfallen sigh, I push these pitiful ponders aside. My morning wasn’t going to be filled with the common shuffling of soldiers; instead I would meet with our leader.

She would offer distraction. Since apparently this mental conflict wasn't going to get resolved anytime soon.

[Setting: Dragons Throat, sunrise. Semi cloudy day. The spar will take place between the Oasis and the Ocean, both can be seen in the distance; but neither is close by.]



Image Credits
[Image: 5388c9b80fe59]

Kri the Resolute Posts: 243
Hidden Account
Mare :: Pegasus :: 14.3hh :: 10 Buff: NUMB
Boom Boom!
#2
WE WERE STRONG.
we stayed bright as lightning. we sang loud as thunder.
we moved ever forward.</style>

I was more or less unaffected.

Personally, Tio had not frightened me with his threat. If anything, he had just pissed me off. Threatening my family is probably the fastest and easiest way to find me a flaming bitch after your ass. Whatever the reason, I had allowed Tio to leave. Perhaps, I should have finished the deed that day on the outskirts of my home. I should have stopped him from leaving and crushed his skull into the dirt. However, I almost wanted to see him try to take my home from me. This land was not as important to me as its people, but I was confident in my kin's ability to protect what was rightfully theirs. Whatever army Tio would find would never be able to tackle the Throat. They would fail in whatever attempt to wrest the crown from my head and place it on that stallion's empty head.

I am still not certain of his reasoning for giving us a forewarning of his presence. It was idiotic, stupid, and ultimately would make his mission to invade impossible. I would not lose heart, no matter how long his fat ass took to gather up the strength to fight, without the Grey to fall on for support. All of his actions seemed to supercede any particular logical thought. I was not known for my logical thinking, instead my fiery passion, but this was not to say that I abandon reason and sanity. I was not so arrogant in my abilities that I allowed myself to be a fool and pick up the pieces later. Life had taught me long ago that your foolish actions will not be of as much consequence to you as the others that it kills. Idiocy in battle loses friends, loses your strength, loses your heart. One thing was certain: I would not lose them.

My dark eyes watch the sunrise with a bitterness born of restless energy. I was tired of waiting to no end, watching day in and day out come. However, I was proud to see so many of my valiant warriors rise to the challenge. One by one, each rose in their determination, pledging to protect this home, pledging, all the more importantly, to protect one another. This is why, despite my relatively sour mood on this fresh new day, I greet the face which walks toward me with a smile. Midas, the second General, his face worn from a worry that I knew little about. Onni had shared with me the news of Cera's poisoning, but the painted stallion of black, white, and gold had mentioned nothing of this misfortune to me directly. I was unaware the angst on his face was caused by this turmoil, and instead I believe it is due to the threat of Tio.

"Good morning, Midas," I say calmly, my voice reaching a deep sound, but one of happiness. I found that I was most at peace around my brothers in arms, as they were protection for me as well of all those I kept safe. I smile, the expression drawn and slightly sad, for we are both in a lowly state of a mood. "It looks to be another beautiful day." Drawn with my wings close around me, I tilt out my head to nudge his neck, as if to snap him out of whatever dark reverie was in his mind. "Are you alright, brother?"
""
KRI the RESOLUTE</style>
MY FRIENDS, I'M ONLY FLESH AND BONE, BUT I WON'T LET YOU DIE ALONE.</style>

image by ANGEL!
Ascended Helovian

Midas the Gallant Posts: 1,164
Deceased
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: Immortal :: Soul is 7 (FF) Buff: HUNTER
Fina :: Common Zephyr :: Phoenix & Wakiya & Neve :: Common Zephyr :: Arctic Angel
#3
One by one, my steps sink into soft sand; they reluctantly lead me to where my Sultana waits and unsurprisingly I feel no relief in seeing her today. In fact, I undergo a sense of uneasiness, mixed with dread at having to mingle and put on a phony exterior. Lying felt wrong on so many levels; it caused brash amounts of guilt.

Distraction or no, sometimes you just wanted to wallow in self-pity for a little while and avoid others. I was hopeful that this testing spar would quick, so I could return to my reproachful memory without judging eyes being ever watchful for my failure. I was especially wary around those that required me to be my best from sunrise though sunset, every day of every season. Kri among the highest in regard, I couldn’t have known that she might have sympathy for my plight. I knew very little about this woman, but I knew enough to understand that loyalty and honor were two big things on her list.

Surely distaste for weakness was there as well?

Today I didn’t feel like the son of sand, and Throats promising General. Today I felt as close to shit as one could get. My face was usually lite up with a respectful beam, showing my worth and strength through outward and inward appearance. I also usually held my carcass with finer grandeur, neck twisted high and shoulders held aloof; each motion an example of my skill and tribute to physical health. But not today, face showed shadows and darkness, obviously troubled despite an attempt at hiding it.

I felt ashamed for darkening what should be a pleasant rally; my palate has never been easily hidden when troubles boiled close to the surface. Eyes rise, depths meeting the deep azure that led into the very soul of a creature; those eyes reminded me of a similar set. Fina, she also bore such a gaze; a mixture of fire and ice. I sigh, heart singing sorrow before a natural curve lifts my features and tilts ears a little forward.

For the next few moments, this body would play the part of her attentive General.

She greets me with a smile, though I can sense a mirrored restlessness lingering. My own dampened spirits dare not remark on her troubles, I was in no position to fix everyone else’s problems; which were likely born from the coming battle anyway. “Well met, Kri.” Tongue felt dry and her name slides free a little awkwardly, I wasn’t used to calling a leader by actual name. Mother had always clearly instructed what to call my betters, but I also knew that Kri simply despised being called Sultana—and I didn’t want to get scowled at again because of it.

She comments on the beauty of this day and I stare straight ahead, sullenly thinking, “Just another morning in paradise,” causally my head bobs once as a silent answer—no words needed for sullying up the air between us. Kri reaches for me; I hold fast and feel her hot breath along my collar neck. Just above the steel that is lashed upon me like a second skin, bare flesh twitches when she touches soft nose to it, “Are you alright, brother?” My leader titles a lesser, ‘brother,’ and surprise blooms at how genuine her concern sounds. Head tilts toward the chocolate girl while muzzle lowers to bump against hers with fake assurance, “I'm fine….the coming war is just weighing heavy on my mind.”

A half smile and a half truth.

Let’s just get this next part over with.

I straighten and with the motion try to push away ill omens, “Shall we chase away worries with a little sky play?” The sun is at my back, and face toward the northwestern sky. I pull away from her, retracting my steps until the distance between us is comfortable enough for both to easily take off. Muscular wings unfurl. The ivory feathers catch morning light, scattering my sharp silhouette across the ground. I had heard that our leader often favored taking her spars to heaven. My mind slips into a state of null, it seems to do that whenever it is pressed toward sharper focus. Fighting often gave a strange sense of calm, but this time I just felt numb, and wanted it to be over already. Quickly, and simply. Perhaps she could make me feel differently once we got started?

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[Image: 5388c9b80fe59]

Kri the Resolute Posts: 243
Hidden Account
Mare :: Pegasus :: 14.3hh :: 10 Buff: NUMB
Boom Boom!
#4
WE WERE STRONG.
we stayed bright as lightning. we sang loud as thunder.
we moved ever forward.</style>

I watch his face inquisitively, but feel the ice in his touch. Instead of warmth for family, he harbors no sense of summer in the golden eyes that look back toward me. I balk at his attempt to fool me with sentimental gestures. If there was anything I detested in this world, it was a liar. Still, I cannot say that Midas is lying to me out of a manipulative purpose. Perhaps, this is his self-defense, or perhaps I am too sensitive. Still, the ice which lingers in the corners of the sunlit eyes makes me cringe inside my skin. My heart would spill out all of its blood to erase the emptiness that plagued his expression, to return a joyous smile on the features of my general. Family. What is this concept I lock so tightly away in my chest? I will likely never be able to name it, but I can certainly feel the ties like chains in my bones.

I am bound to them. A dragon and her precious treasures.

I nod in his response to war, but my eyes look out toward my homeland, imagining the spilling of enemies past our borders. I shrug. "We of the Throat have the hearts of lions," I say, my lips easing into a broad smile. "There is no need to worry about battle." We will not lose. My eyes flit over to look at Midas in the periphery, only to see him retreating from my side and speaking familiar words. My grin grows broader, and I watch as he readies for take off. My own wings begin to unfold as I lift my weight onto my haunches, swerving my front end down and hitting the red dirt with hooves of haste. I flap once, twice, catching the natural winds of the desert and rising, my hooves lifted from the ground as I am propelled forward my the strength and grace of my feathered limbs. I do not rise far, allowing Midas to sail on, keeping myself steady, trying to remain below him as I race his shadow with my own.

I then curve my flight sharply upward, slanted left, climbing in the air toward the left wing of Midas, bending my neck in preparation. I continue my path up in altitude, directing my flight toward the underside of Midas's left wing, attempting lodge my body full speed onto it and up, which might send the painted stallion twirling off into the sky. Hopefully, this would be a strong enough attack to knock the fog from his head and get him to open his eyes and look toward me. I would not injure my friend, but he was sorely mistaken if he thought my definition of nice was gentle. At the time the curved top-line of my neck would meet with the wing if my aim was true, I launch a soft kick toward the left rump of Midas, to further help in throwing his flight off balance and bringing his attention to the present without dealing him serious injury.

Just as with Azzuen, I would show Midas the full extent of my will.
""

[ WC: 552; 1/3; No magic or companions.
Kri will be using buffs SWIFT and AIM. ]
KRI the RESOLUTE</style>
MY FRIENDS, I'M ONLY FLESH AND BONE, BUT I WON'T LET YOU DIE ALONE.</style>

image by ANGEL!


[ OOC commentary: Not much to add here before your post. Kri is basically chilling below Midas in the air and then shoots up toward his LEFT wing, with her neck curved. She kicks out toward his left rump softly. Basically, she is trying to throw him off kilter to get his attention.

This to keep in mind:
Re-read your post before you post it to make sure it doesn't sound dry of emotion.
Surroundings~ Never underestimate the power of wind.
Breed comparison.
Kri's buffs!
Midas's awesomeness. ]
Ascended Helovian

Midas the Gallant Posts: 1,164
Deceased
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: Immortal :: Soul is 7 (FF) Buff: HUNTER
Fina :: Common Zephyr :: Phoenix & Wakiya & Neve :: Common Zephyr :: Arctic Angel
#5
Sorrow was chased to the backburner as the wind lifts its offspring higher. When I was in the air I felt stronger, smoother, in control and more powerful then when I was on the ground. Up here, nothing could taint how the wind felt between your feathers. Or how each updraft and downdraft stroked my tips until body was lifted closer to the gods as if embraced by an unseen force. Some would say magic kept us aloft, others—strength. Whichever it was, choosing to spar in the sky had been a correct choice; immediately I felt my troubles start to wane, and instead of mindlessly worrying I began to focus on the strokes of my wings. It was hard to be gloomy when filled with the intense thrill of flight.

Another set of wings beat with familiar rhythm that I could recognize in the deepest of sleep. Like a hoofprint or scent, our wings had their own signature power. Her thrusts on a quiet morning don’t go missed, my head starts to angle down to better see the sultana and hopefully form a plan of attack after gauging her position. The mocha lass shared much with me, height and built. For once I didn’t feel outsized—though her bulk was slightly heftier. She had other ideas, that didn’t include letting me calmly ponder about much of anything. I had just enough time to catch a quick glance of a chocolate wither and hawk like wings…just before her compact body comes flying up at my left wing head first.

Baulking at her speed and disapproving my lingering state of interest I try to brace myself and throw as much weight into my right side as the dexter wing can manage. The world pitches but it’s not enough to miss her attack entirely, the inner wingpit is avoided thankfully; but my outer secondary feathers and wing tip get pushed aside. This has the most annoying result of sending my balance off; which I proceed to correct by setting teeth and thrusting my right wing hard once, twice, before I am able to get straightened out. Her well aimed hoof lands just below my croup, there is a sharp sting but no real burn that would cause hindrance.

She wanted my focus, apparently. No real damage was done—and well… well now she had my undivided attention. Personal thoughts vanished in the distance as I raced to lean left, banking hard. In this moment I forgot about D’art, and Cera, I wanted nothing more than to show my WindChaser, my Leader, that her trust wasn’t misplaced; and I was every bit as worthy as any to be called, ‘General.’

Sun painted feathers stroke up and down, hard and fast to maintain speed that would have any chance at catching her. I seek pressurized air that might give me an edge to her agility. Breezes cool and warm in different ways, even with the heat of the desert to aid in warm currents sometimes it was hard to find a solid stream. Lady luck seemed to be smiling today and my heart surged with feelings of excitement as a warm pressure buildings beneath me.

With gaining acceleration I rise and soar above her. Wings close just a few inches, but this makes a huge difference in altitude and lowers me enough so that I'm hopefully within reach and proper position for an attack. I was making attempt at sinking my teeth inside the top portion of her crest. This attack wasn’t dealt out to do much harm, she kicked my rump so I was going to pull her hair in retaliation. My neck stretches fully and yellowish ivory’s widen in anticipation. If this move is successful, it was surely going to be later regretted when said spar was over and I was picking her hair from my teeth for days to come. Forlimbs had remained tucked until now, they both extend out with daggers pointed to try and scrap along her withers and loin in passing as I bend down to take up a mouthful of mane or whatever happened to come in contact should I miss entirely.

Kri was the type of friend that would knock you senseless and then take you out for apples all in the same day.

Image Credits
[Image: 5388c9b80fe59]

Boom Boom Posts: N/A
Unregistered
:: :: ::
#6
[ I forgot to say you can edit your original post and re-post its revision again. :P

I can see where the critiques of your emotion come in from this post. Though I think your writing is far from dry, I get do not get the impression of what Midas feels from the majority of this post. There is a dearth of personal thought, and while you describe your movements beautifully and fluidly, that's all there really is. Environment, movement, surroundings, but what about reactions? How does all of this information relate to Midas? He reads like a passive narrator.

Here, take this as an example:
"She had other ideas, that didn’t include letting me calmly ponder about much of anything. I had just enough time to catch a quick glance of a chocolate wither and hawk like wings…just before her compact body comes flying up at my left wing head first."

You could have written the same ideas a lot closer to Midas:
"Flashes of chocolate in the sky reflect the sun as Kri rises to up toward me, sailing unrestrained toward my left wing. A moment of panic seizes my gut as I realize that she had other ideas, none of which included letting be calmly ponder this battle or much of anything."

See how that involves more feeling than just observation? Reread your post and find instances where Midas is talking about what is happening without relating them directly to how he feels; make things that come across as detached see more personal. Your writing from his perspective, in this post, as if he is watching someone else fight.

"With gaining acceleration I rise and soar above her. Wings close just a few inches, but this makes a huge difference in altitude and lowers me enough so that I'm hopefully within reach and proper position for an attack."
Don't state directly that you get above Kri. You can only try without it being powerplay. ^^

Also, I would consider that Kri is using a speed buff, so with your similar builds, it would be difficult to best her in acceleration, especially when she is already moving upward.

I would encourage you to also describe Midas being moved a bit more. Kri isn't attacking with heavy blows, but in the air Midas has nothing to resist his movement, really, except low density air. Especially when you are being off set heavily on one side, since you are taking her wing attack, that's like a lever being pushed. Midas would rotate around his center of gravity, and the kick would push him downward. Just consider the lack of friction. You may or may not want to edit it. xD S'up to you. ]

Kri the Resolute Posts: 243
Hidden Account
Mare :: Pegasus :: 14.3hh :: 10 Buff: NUMB
Boom Boom!
#7
WE WERE STRONG.
we stayed bright as lightning. we sang loud as thunder.
we moved ever forward.</style>

The brush of feathers against my neck is soft, lingering on my skin for a moment until they slide off, my back hooves darting out to land upon Midas, though with my neck tucked tight across my best and my eyes closed to keep any unwanted feathers to land in them, I miss the exact aim. The gentle strength of my kick does not allow for the shudder I am used to accompanying the movement in short succession, and I slide easily out of the grasp of Midas, as he offers litter resistance to my tactics. Free of his clutches, I sail upward for a few more moments before curving my body, evening my trajectory into a more easy glide, my mind searching for the stallion with a look of annoyance.

The allowance of my body to collide so easily into his does not go unnoticed, and I am frustrated that he would invite me to battle without fervor. I am not the opponent you want to face halfheartedly. The passion of my own heart will consume you.

Whatever the case, my small painted general seems to have been knocked back into reality by my quick attacks, his face shaking off the fog and his golden eyes growing more alert. His lithe build would make him fast in the air, but I felt that my immense training would leave me advantaged still. After all, four years cannot hope to catch up to nine in experience overnight. I watch him for a few moments as he rises, dark gaze steely as it settles before me, ears cocked back and searching through the screech of wind for the sound of his whistling feathers in order to locate him.

More than the whistling is the presence of chill on my back, a shadow, as he soars above me, and I smile. I prepare myself, wings feeling out the air as they curve, preparing for the move that I had used against Azzaron to evade an attack launched from above. As his comes to lay his barrage upon my backside, I begin to curve. My body swings like a wave sideways toward the right, his teeth missing the top-line of my neck and falling instead toward the the left side, well guarded by a thick, blonde mane which whips wildly about in the wind as it rushes over my body. The attack, already kept from violent force, does little more than ruffle a few hairs and pinch the skin for a brief moment before I pull away. His hooves chase after my sinking left wing, brushing the feathers ever so gently, like a kiss from a lover, before they separated, my own body curving upward and over.

I allow this wave of movement, willingly, to carry me up and about, a barrel roll in the sky that brings me farther in altitude until the sparse clouds of the blue sky above are almost close enough to touch. It is when my descent begins from the roll that I try to wind it tight, attempting to achieve a higher altitude than that of Midas. I swoop down, chasing after the tail of my beloved General, trying to hold myself up above him, legs tucked, until we are nearly stacked in the sky. My wings attempt to match his for flight, though the turbulence of each of his flaps tips me a little off balance. We would be head to head, tail to tail, should I be properly aligned, and that is when I push down with my back legs toward his rump gently, my own front end throwing upward to avoid the rise of his own body should I hit my target. I extend my front legs, aiming to have them push upon his broad shoulders if my first attack was a success, my jaws snapping out briefly for his neck.

Let's have some fun.
""

[ WC: 650; 2/3. ]
KRI the RESOLUTE</style>
MY FRIENDS, I'M ONLY FLESH AND BONE, BUT I WON'T LET YOU DIE ALONE.</style>

image by ANGEL!
Ascended Helovian

Midas the Gallant Posts: 1,164
Deceased
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: Immortal :: Soul is 7 (FF) Buff: HUNTER
Fina :: Common Zephyr :: Phoenix & Wakiya & Neve :: Common Zephyr :: Arctic Angel
#8
I foolishly guessed that my speed would at least match a woman twice my age. How silly of me. Her swift movements and technique were mastered long ago; whereas I was used to handling foes upon the ground, she seemed to embrace our birthright—caressing it like a mother did her child. This time it because startlingly obvious that I was the greenhorn student and she, my firm teacher. My lips merely brush across her fur, barely clasping skin as she pulls up and away with agility that leaves my mouth hanging open for a brief moment of total shock. Teeth slap together, frustrated I thrust hard to rise higher in the sky—starting to take on the talent of following graceful adult falcon, while trying to overcome the fact I was a fledgling.

Luckily I was a ‘learn by action’ sort of creature, and instead of frantically twisting my mug left and right to see where she was coming. I tried to use this little lapse to remember how she reacted a moment ago—her senses flawlessly separated my movements from the rustling sounds of wind and other distractions. She had known of my strike and its landing before I had even fully made the attempt. Keeping level I cooled my mind of worry that failure would be my threshold today, instead I turned ears toward where my Sultana had flown. If I couldn’t outfly her, then perhaps I could learn from the mistakes and catch her off guard.

Every hair along my body started standing straight up as I attempt to quickly and efficiently focus on her location. This of course is much easier said than done. Listening for another’s wing beats and then focusing hard enough to pinpoint (guess) their location wasn’t something someone could learn overnight. Of course as a Pegasus we had an inborn sense that seemed to help, an instinct persay of where other birds where in the sky—this kept us from flying into each other during a group take off or when we flew in a flock larger than two.

But it was harder to use this to any amount of advantage when my heart was pumping fast and panic was starting to settle in. I couldn’t see her up here, as I could on the ground. A ruffle of feathers, a change in the air flow and just like that there she was. Sliding into position above me, taking the stance I had tried to obtain and likely wouldn’t be able to avoid unless I did something rather fast. Because we are so close I can feel her now, sense her position in the sky. All of this came too late, I felt the harsh punch of her shoes across my shoulders, just above where wings conjoined with flesh. The sudden slap hurts and would later bruise; but I couldn’t dwell on that now.

Before her mouth can come in contact with my flesh; a brilliant idea comes on, an epiphany of sorts. Like a switch that doesn’t take questions I pull my feathered appendages up and back pedal hard; trying to halt my frame from movement with hopes that she would dart over and give us some space. Perhaps the sudden shift would come as a surprise; maybe her body would slow enough for an attack when she tried to glance back (if she tried to glance back). Igniting forward, I can’t help but wince as the pain from her last little beating sets my teeth on edge. My next few moments are spent trying follow her movements and gain altitude for an attempt to upset the air on the underside of her wings.

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[Image: 5388c9b80fe59]

Kri the Resolute Posts: 243
Hidden Account
Mare :: Pegasus :: 14.3hh :: 10 Buff: NUMB
Boom Boom!
#9
WE WERE STRONG.
we stayed bright as lightning. we sang loud as thunder.
we moved ever forward.</style>

Target.
Lock.
Fire.

My hooves touch down on Midas's shoulders, sliding along his broad shoulders and bruising the flesh, from the feel of the force as we propel forward still. However, I realize now why it is often a bad idea to fly so close to another. Despite my best efforts to fly in time with the General, his actions are not something I can predict entirely. His wings shoot up and lock unexpectedly before tugging the air, his figure sliding from my grey hooves as my chest flies forward toward the back of his head, the same one he may be losing if he is not quick to duck.

It is some miracle that I manage to throw my wings up straight fast enough to avoid them colliding with his own, but unfortunately my flight is disrupted. Like a child cast from the back of a wild bull, I am tossed from above him and out into open air. My frame does not stop and my front end rolls forward ungracefully. I snort in frustration as I begin to drop. That queasy sensation of falling and losing your bearings begins to clutch my gut and twist, a knife in my belly. Damned be unexpected surprises, for they are little more than tools your opponent fucks you over with. After my flash of panic, however, the grit of my soul captures my heart again and sets the violent rush of adrenaline to good use, my wings straightening and catching my body before I spiral down, helpless, toward the earth below.

"Fucking hell," I whisper under my breath before I let out a joyous chuckle, flying forward again. My General has duped me, and yet I am more proud of him than I have ever been. I twisted grin on my face as I glance back in time to see him soaring, wings beating feverishly to usurp my air currents and turn them against me. My already uneasy balance in tentative now that I do not have predictable winds to rely upon, but I am a stubborn bitch, if you know nothing else about me. I set my teeth to edge and throw my wings up, flapping ceasing as my heavy form drops like a stone in the air for a good twenty feet before I catch myself, now underneath my General once more.

Before I have a moment to catch a breath, regardless if it may be ill of me to ignore my rapid breathing, I launch back upward, wings tearing through the sky to pull me up, speed increasing as I tilt right, aiming to rise along the right side of Midas. When my head should be to the level of his knees, I harshly turn back in left, curving my neck to protect my face, folding my wings to evade potential kicks, and throwing my left shoulder toward the soft fleshy underside of the midsection of his right barrel. I pray that thrashing wings do not beat down upon me, but to hell with it already. Reckless, but unexpected.

Two can play that game.
""

[ WC:537; 3/3; SWIFT and AIM. ]
KRI the RESOLUTE</style>
MY FRIENDS, I'M ONLY FLESH AND BONE, BUT I WON'T LET YOU DIE ALONE.</style>

image by ANGEL!


[ OOC commentary:

I just wanted to say that this is the first fight that I can remember Kri being legitimately flustered, and I was also sort of at a loss. SO GOOD JOB. You get brownie points for catching bulky bitch off guard. ^^

Emotion in this post was great. I felt like I connected more with Midas while reading it, and it was not a simple mechanical narration of the fight. I feel like you put him more in the drivers seat rather than explaining what he is seeing. It was a good improvement!

Overall, I did not see any powerplay or any borderline powerplays in your post. I felt like you really adhered to that critique, and you did much better for it.

However, I think you misinterpreted her attack, which may be my fault (I'm known for confusing maneuvers at times). You only mention her hooves landing, but not her back hooves, which was the original attack. She is pushing downward her her back hooves toward his rump first and then out with her front legs. I intended the front legs to sort of stop him from rushing up and headbutting her in the face from the lack of resistance given by open air. You also never mention for sure whether or not her bite lands. You just state that he slows before she bites, but never clarify further than that.

On the whole, I really enjoyed this post and was impressed by it. I think it was fun and exciting. o: I love this spar.



Kri's post:

She basically derps and continues forward as Midas slows, with her chest coming toward the back of his head (since I felt that it would probably hit but you didn't mention the possibility). Then she loses her balance slightly and fumbles around, getting it back just before Midas shows up and ruins her balance again. Then she just cuts flying and drops down, before rushing back up to try and shoulder his right side.]

Boom Boom Posts: N/A
Unregistered
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#10
Giving Angel an extension until she has time to reply. :D
Ascended Helovian

Midas the Gallant Posts: 1,164
Deceased
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: Immortal :: Soul is 7 (FF) Buff: HUNTER
Fina :: Common Zephyr :: Phoenix & Wakiya & Neve :: Common Zephyr :: Arctic Angel
#11
We are both breathless to say the least. Yet I feel like the one who could use more oxygen; every strained nerve is humming passionately with each stable thrust of dual wings, and they scream for more O2. As if my gasping did nothing to appease their hungry desires. Even the tiny whiskers and hair follicles are standing straight up—like I had just been electrocuted. Of all the discomforts, (heat included, for by now a pool of wet was sliding tickling sweat from beneath the heavy layer of steel around my neck), I feel…thirsty for more, though that admittance would never be said aloud, mostly due to my humble nature by design. Though, even I am honest enough to say that there is a base sensation which is somewhat smug when flashing orbs glimpse this beloved Sultana take a dose of brainwork actually panning out. For the first time since our spar commenced….I can actually taste a thin shot of victory shoot through my veins and into a fast thumping heartbeat. It is encouraging to know that even Kri can get off balance and flustered.

I steady myself in the air, flapping hard to maintain lift without so much drive once she is dropping out of the sky. Curiously wary I follow her with my eyes—trying to keep this sky goddess from leaving my line of sight, and simultaneously plan for another attack. It was well understood at this point that a mistake would be corrected with my hide stinging, and when I landed upon proper footing—my reward would be seeing Kri fly head-over-heels. That little win was short lived though, my Sultana recovered with familiar stubbornness that was her trademark attribute. Barely, I had barely enough time to start a foxy little grin before she is launching toward me again. It doesn’t take long to calculate her possible direction, and on cue my body shift’s its weight to the left when I notice that her aim was leading more toward the right. Wings buckle up and down, stiffening hindquarters ready themselves for a possible chance at denting her side a little should she draw close enough. It has also already been learned that I cannot hope to match her speed by flying up and away—(might I add the obvious that this knowledge was little comfort to someone who often relied on swift antics.) So my only options at this point are to, A. Come up with another brilliant plan like the one that sent her tumbling. Or B. Sit like a duck and wait for her to move first, counter and strike if able. She rises swiftly and my heart hammers with strained desire to somehow outmaneuver this situation. Flight or fight. As if I had a choice.

Clicking my stained teeth together I thrash fore hoof’s and hind hooves against naked desert air as she draws closer, they don't move passionately enough to break something—but with enough oomph that even she might think before sliding under golden daggers. My wings slap together, vainly pulling me forward and left for all I am worth to put distance between us. Neck twists cranium backwards with teeth gashing, both ears are slammed against my skull and nothing but the whistling wind warns of what fresh teaching she plans to reward my last efforts with. It isn’t enough space. She closes the distance before I can lean all the way. I know this, because her chocolate muscled shoulder somehow ends up still butting the right side of my lower barrel and jolting local organs in close vicinity.

I nearly bite my tongue off as a rush of pained air escapes at a hiss. Searing pain slips its way across my lower abdomen, my body is sent far left from her impact. Butterflies hitch a ride with the bruising as I strive to relax my wings enough for one of my only options; roll or fall, the world pivots on its axle and I can feel the wind rush around me—signaling that I’ve likely dropped a few feet while gaining balance. Riding through obvious discomfort I try to use what strength remains and clap down hard. Using both wings to an advantage, while praying that she hasn’t been expecting my frame to suddenly start rolling away. Stashing my right wing in and taking the acceleration, I tumble into a tight roll by leaning far left and thrust out with all limbs in hopes of striking a set of shoulders or back. My right wing is also slightly extended, a vain attempt to upset the air around her as well. It wasn’t fair that only one of us should be working to stay aloft.

3/3

I've totally forgotten to add what buffs I was using. Oh well :'D!
Image Credits
[Image: 5388c9b80fe59]

Kri the Resolute Posts: 243
Hidden Account
Mare :: Pegasus :: 14.3hh :: 10 Buff: NUMB
Boom Boom!
#12
WE WERE STRONG.
we stayed bright as lightning. we sang loud as thunder.
we moved ever forward.</style>

The beat of my heart against my ribs. A pleasing sound in my mind, though many may find it rather disturbing. The heat of battle in my veins is what causes me to ignore the breaths I tug between my flaring nostrils, the sweat upon my frame. I ignore it simply because in battle there is little need in monitoring your vitals. Even if you know you need to slow, when your opponent lingers about you, a lion posed to strike, you keep going, no matter how your lungs wheeze. That steadfast determination and pull, that is what I live for. That is why I am the Resolute. A warrior who never hesitates.

Midas would find that out right about now.

I can feel golden eyes upon me as I rise more than I can see the glint of his own determination. Regardless of the silent warning of his gaze, the whistle of hooves through air, my pursuit continues. I race upward, feeling a hoof pelt my left shoulder. My face seems to wince, but I do not stop, my neck curling away with the shoot of pain, only to feel another hoof hit upon my barrel on the left, near my midsection. A clean, shallow cut for my barrel, probably a bruise for the shoulder, and a good dose of healthy pain to remind me that I am still alive. The cool, thin air stings upon my ripped flesh, but that discomfort is hushed by the gratifying feeling of my left shoulder pummeling into the underside of Midas. I think I hear a hitch in his breath, but I can't be certain. The air from my lungs is expelled harshly too with a rather masculine grunt, but followed with a fiesty grin.

The black and white painted form sloughs away from me even as I am pushed away by our collision, but I quickly jerk my body right and flap hard upward, trying to get out of the range of my opponent and dear friend. I drop my eyes quickly to search the skies for my General, ascertain that my last attack has not robbed him of his ability to fly. It is then that I see his body curve tightly left, hooves poised to strike even as I tuck mine in tight to my barrel. The quick flight upward is ultimately what saves me from a strike hitting my legs, and for that I laugh. The sound is joyous, but growing hoarse in the thin air of high altitude.

"You fight with fire, my brother!" I shout down below. My body begins to race forward and then circle, aiming to return to the soft crimson sands of the desert below. You fight with the heart of a Dragon.
""

[ WC:460; Closing Defense; SWIFT and AIM. ]
KRI the RESOLUTE</style>
MY FRIENDS, I'M ONLY FLESH AND BONE, BUT I WON'T LET YOU DIE ALONE.</style>

image by ANGEL!


[ OOC commentary;

YOU FORGOT YOUR BUFFS. D: I FORGOT TO REMIND YOU. I'M A HORRIBLE TEACHER.

Anyway.
Thank you so much for the excellent fight! I think I said before, but no one has ever gotten Kri to lose her cool in the air, so that deserves a Boom medal.

As far as critiques go, you forgot the small attack I noted with Kri's chest possibly hitting Midas in the back of the head. I don't know if the judge will count that as an attack, but it is written as possible damage to your character, so I would have. >___> But it's sort of iffy. Either way, always be safe and include it, even if it's small.

I thought that your response to her attack was written beautifully. It had the damage, it had the pain, it was descriptive, but BEST of all, I did not read it as though you were checking boxes for the judge. I really, really think it was a beautifully written injury (if that is possible). Also, the kicking as she is approaching was the best counter-attack you could have placed. I think it was natural, easy, and I was frankly trapped into taking the damage. ;D

You were more in tune with the lack of air resistance in this post than you have been, which is great! However, I think you forgot to account for that in your attack. I did not take any damage from your kick because, while I thought it was a beautiful maneuver, Kri simply would not be within the range of Midas's short little legs if he had been pushed away, dropped down, and Kri also attempts to fly right and up away from him. I thought it was a wasted attack. Instead of curving left, you should have gone right and after her left side.

Overall, I think you did a great job! :D ]

Official Posts: 847
Administrator
Stallion :: Equine :: ::
Official
#13

K R I | M I D A S
- - - - -
By my verdict KRI is the winner.
Kri receives 2VP and unlocks the battle buff MAGE.


Kri -- post 1 (attack only)

[Realism]
+ 1| Attack: Body slam into Midas' wing.
+1 | Attack: Kick towards Midas' left rump


[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion: I LOVED this line:
I am bound to them. A dragon and her precious treasures.

+ 1| Flow
+1 | Easy Read



Midas -- post 1

[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: Throwing weight to the right to avoid Kri
- 1| Injury: You do not specify if Midas felt any pain when she collided with his wing - only that it was unbalanced.
- 1| Defense: Taking her hit to Midas' croup: I don't know what 'below his croup' means - 'below' the croup, would be his dock - given Midas' compact body, it isn't as though there is a lot of length there. More to the point, if Kri is coming UP at Midas, and he veers RIGHT, I don't reasonably see how Kri could manage to kick on TOP of him, namely anywhere near his croup, or dock.
- 2| Powerplay: With gaining acceleration I rise and soar above her. - You cannot dictate where your opponent is - you can only judge where they might be in relation to you, or when you are trying to place yourself.
+ 1| Attack: Bite to the top of Kri's crest.
+ 1| Attack: Hoof attack to loins and withers.
- 1| Borderline Powerplay: I bend down to take up a mouthful of mane or whatever happened to come in contact should I miss entirely. The caveat at the end saved this from being a full PP, but it still implies that even if it isn't mane Midas comes away with, it will still be something, which is PP.


[Prose]
+ 1| Flow
- 1| Easy Read: I had to pause a number of times to try and understand what Midas was doing. Things like "below his croup" or "teeth inside the top portion of her crest" - how can you bite inside her crest? It's either on top, or left or right.
+ 1| Emotion: ..she kicked my rump so I was going to pull her hair in retaliation. xD



Kri -- post 2

[Realism]
+ 1| Experience: Recalling the spar with Azzaron
+ 1| Injury: Bite to the neck
+ 1| Injury: Kick to the left wing
+ 1| Attack: Kick to Midas' rump
+ 1| Attack: Forelegs to Midas' shoulders
+ 1| Attack: Bite to Midas' neck

[Prose]
0 | Easy read: Spelling. he offers litter resistance; tucked tight across my best and..; instead toward the the left side,
+1 | Flow
+1 | Emotion


Midas -- post 2

[Realism]
+ 1| Injury: Attack to his shoulders
- 1| Dropped attack: Kri kicks with her hindlegs first, then her front.
0| Defense: Kri bites at Midas' neck almost immediately after she extends her front legs to his shoulders. Your post reads as though there is enough time for Midas to feel his shoulders hit, then raise his wings and push back. Kri would have already bit by now - or slammed her face into his neck.
+1 Attack: Wing beats to disturb the air

[Prose]
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Emotion: I love how you write Midas - especially how he tries to copy Kri's movements, but find it hard due to the sound of blood pumping in his ears.
+ 1| Easy Read

Kri -- post 3

[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: Avoiding Midas' head after he stalls
+ 1| Defense: Responds appropriately to the disturbed air
- 2| Powerplay: now underneath my General once more.
+ 1| Attack: Left shoulder to Midas' right barrel
+ 1| Defense: Head turn, and wings held in.


[Prose]
+ 1| Easy Read.
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Emotion: HA. I loved Kri in this post.



Midas -- post 3

[Realism]
+ 1| Injury: Attack to Midas' left side.
+ 1| Defense: Thrashing out to warn Kri off
0| Attack: Kick to Kri's shoulders or back - She is small and quick, and likely wouldn't have lingered once she hit Midas. But then Midas also rolled away left, after dropping a few feet. It's very unlikely, given his breed, that he could have hit her.

[Prose]
+ 1| Easy Read.
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Emotion

Kri -- post 4

[Realism]
+ 1| Injury: Hoof to the left shoulder and barrel.
+ 1| Defense: Evading Midas' kick



Kri

[Bonus]
+ 1| Breed Comparison:
+ 2| Surroundings: Your knowledge of how to write in wind, and what flying in the air would be like, is excellent.

[Injuries]
None

[Creativity]
Nothing of note.

Comments: Great to see Kri off balance!


Midas

[Bonus]
+ 2| Breed Comparison: You were very aware of Kri's size as well as her skills in this battle.
+ 1| Surroundings

[Injuries]
None

[Creativity]
+ 1| Wing Stall: Although I felt it was an unrealistic maneuver given the time frame, this was an excellent attack!

Comments: I think it would really help in aerial battles, to consider how little resistance there is in the air. When something large shoots towards a relatively stable air born object, it's going to send it flying. Sometimes I felt as though that got lost in your posts. The second thing, is that you don't need to write Midas, where Kri thinks he is. A number of times Kri came towards him at a great distance, and he just patiently waited for her attacks - why wouldn't he move? Or only try at the last minute?
Lastly, careful for PP! Always indicate intent. You were penalized for it once, and close again in this instance; I bend down to take up a mouthful of mane or whatever happened to come in contact should I miss entirely. - It reads really strongly, even though you qualify at the end that you could "miss entirely".
Really great writing though!



TOTAL
Kri - 73
Midas - 62

image credit to Paulo Brandão


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