the Rift


a bittersweet heartache [birthing, open]

Sohalia the Transcended Posts: 477
Outcast atk: 4 | def: 9.5 | dam: 6.5
Mare :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: 10 (ages in Orangemoon) HP: 67 | Buff: NOVICE
Astraeus :: Common Zephyr :: Wakiya ChaoticMelodies
#1
Sohalia

It is midday, and I am quenching my thirst in the oasis. The lush emerald carpet of spring has given way to the more withered grasses of Tallsun. It is unbearably hot, and I am more uncomfortable than I would have thought possible. Why? The heat of yesterday and the day before did not bother me so. But today, I am pacing, restless, sweating, panting. Today, I feel wrong. The coolness of the water calms me, giving my parched tongue a moment of respite from the cruel heat of the desert. A sting of pain ricochets through my stomach; at first, I think that I have drank too quickly. But then my eyes widen, and I stare at my rippling reflection in both fear and elation. As another sharp wave hits me, I realize - it's happening.

It is intense, but it comes in waves, and I am able to make my way to the slight shadow of a large rock. My knees seem to buckle before I am able to command them to do so, but my landing in the sand is gentle. I clench my jaw, grinding teeth together, holding back a shriek of pain. It is excruciating. And then it passes, only for another wave to take its place. I don't know how long this goes on, for it is all I can do to lay still, to take it, to ride it out. But when I feel the urge to push, I strain with all my might, hoping that it might hurry along, hoping that I would be rid of this gods-cursed pain... And then it is over. I take a deep breath, heave my cranium up, peer over my belly to the small, crumpled shape on the sand.

It isn't moving.

Why isn't it moving?!

I nicked softly, strain to reach, hoping for a flick of an ear, a blink of an eye, an intake of breath, but another nauseating pain washes through me, and I begin to panic. My baby is not moving, I am still in labor, why am I still in labor, the foal is born, ohmygod, it isn't moving, my sweet, sweet child, why aren't you moving?! I shriek my fear and pair and fury, blind with it all, unable to move, in the grip of the newest contraction. I can't, I can't, I can't... My eyes close, screwed shut against the world, and when I open them, I see in black and white. I stand calmly in the spirit world. Where I am the only thing that lives. Before me, my newborn stands; the youngling touches her nose to mine, briefly, so briefly, and then turns, trots away. Perhaps I should have wondered how she was able to stand, to move, to run from me when she had only just been born; but I suppose the spirit world has no such rules. "Wait!" I call desperately, my voice rising to a scream. "WAIT!"

I blink, and again I am lying in the sand of the Throat, muscles straining, drowning in the sorrow and the hurt and the anguish. This time, when it is over, I know that my task is complete. When I roll onto my belly, crane my head around, there is no more pain. I lunge to my feet, quickly turning to my foals. A deep sorrow unfurls as I realize that it was not a dream; the small, pure ivory creature lies still, unbreathing. A wordless moan escapes me. My firstborn, dead before she even had the chance to use those perfect little wings, before she got the chance to live, to fly. What did I do wrong?

But the second, the younger foal, she was beautiful too. She had my sculpted face, her pelt a perfect blend of mine and her father's pelts, a light reddish-brown, almost pink. She was stirring, and I nuzzled along her back, vigorously cleaning her of the birthing fluids. She craned her head to look at me, and I felt a sharp intake of breath; half of her face matched that of her sister. An icy blue eye stared at me, the other a warm amber. "Skysong," I breathed, and she tilted her head to the side, as though considering the name, approving of it. "I could not protect your sister," I whisper, tears flooding my eyes. "But I swear that I will protect you."


"Talk talk talk."
Sohalia
Don't wanna leave this life knowing I barely tried...
Please tag Sohalia in all replies.
Use of force and/or magic (with the exception of death) is allowed at all times.

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Xylia Posts: N/A
Unregistered
:: :: ::
#2
XYLIA
I smell death. It is a cold, bitter scent that blossoms on the wind and catches, spreads like wildfire and makes every little bird freeze and every animal shudder. I am familiar with death. Familiar with its embrace. It is not as colt and heartless as one might think. No, it is, in fact, a soft black blanket that wraps around you, a mother's kiss on the brow. But I smell blood and life as well, and so I make haste, moving swiftly forward, and I cross from hot grass to carpets of sweet green grass. It's a haunting smell, blood; sickly salty sweet, a foul odor that rises, and today it's accompanied. Death and life. Yin and yang. I would have laughed if I had not sensed myself so close to someone. Panic; fear and wilder fear, a terrible horror; devastation and the welling of tears.

Hera. I am Hera yet again; curly-maned, cheer-faced, plump around the edges and with a grin that makes the sun look dim; I am a unicorn and a dog runs around my feet, bouncing in circles; the sun is hot and Mira is pretty, pale and slender beside me, the perfect wife. They disliked us being together, but we were as happy as two twitter-pated birds, as Mira always put it. Mira, my sweet Lady of the Court, with her serene face and crystal eyes. We had borne a colt, or rather, Divon had, the muddling, stubborn god he is. I heard the gods clash for days inside my head, sending me reeling and gasping for breath, and Mira would fetch servants and cry out for help, fearing a seizure or worse. Perhaps it was worse, being possessed by the gods. Arguing and arguing; complaints and fighting. It did not stop, until one day a season later, spring, and I found a colt at our feet.

Ah! Azeen! My only foal, lost in the never-ending yarn of time. It stitched and sewed, and changed in colors and varied in thickness; but it was always the same thread. The sneaky little thief!

I am jerked to my senses by the rank scent of blood and fresh waves of pain. Foals? For I am certain it must be. It is that time of year again. There is more panic, and my ears fall back in distress. "Calm!" I say, words that I, unfortunately, cannot hear. Despite my not-knowing, my words come right before the unknown mare speaks again. "There is a second child." A late comment, by any means, for I feel the subtle movements of the grass shifting to make way for new youth. My head wags a slight bit, and I step forward cautiously, head lowering. First, my muzzle carefully reaches out to find the mare; and then I maneuver around her, away from the foal, wary of crushing the little thing, and, also, a mother's wrath. They are always so protective during these first few minutes.

"You've done well, m'girl." I sigh, give a little huff, whether out of surprise or approval I cannot tell. Maybe m'girl is an old saying as well; but I'm older than too many, anyways. I can't fear words, for I cannot hear, so why do I ponder this so? Relax and enjoy myself. "Xylia. And you have chosen a good name for the foal- take good of-" Her or him? "-him." I decide on a split second note. Naturally, it is the wrong choice. Alas! An old mind.

[Perhaps not my best :| Not sure how much she would/wouldn't know! But poor Sohalia! D: ]

Sohalia the Transcended Posts: 477
Outcast atk: 4 | def: 9.5 | dam: 6.5
Mare :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: 10 (ages in Orangemoon) HP: 67 | Buff: NOVICE
Astraeus :: Common Zephyr :: Wakiya ChaoticMelodies
#3
Sohalia

A strange scent catches my attention, and suddenly I am aware of the old mare nearby. I cannot believe that I did not see her before, but I suppose I should not be surprised. I am blind, numb, clinging desperately to the idea of Skysong, filling my thoughts with her so that I might not think of her sister. No, no, no, no, no... It repeats, over and over, and echo through my mind, the only thought that I am capable of. And yet even through the mental anguish, I flatten my lobes to my skull, step protectively over my twins, my wings half-extended in a threatening pose. She has the Throat smell on her, but I do not want her here. I do not want her to see this, to see me. I want her gone.

But she is speaking to me, telling me I've done a good job. I want to scream. How can she say that I have done a good job when one of my girls lies dead beneath my feet? How can she say that I've done well when I failed at the only task I've had these past months - to allow my foals to grow within my womb, to become strong and healthy? Why is she even here? I do not know her, though she offers her name, and I do not want to know her. She has seen me, seen this, and she knows that I am no fit mother. And she can't even figure out what gender my Skysong is. I'm sure that my fury shows in my orbs, but I cannot feel it. I cannot feel anything.

"Go away. Please." My words are cold, brittle, but I cannot abandon my manners, no matter how spiteful I might be at the moment. It's not her fault, a rational part of my brain reminds me, but the small voice is quickly squashed by the many clamoring with fear and anger and pain. "Just... please." My voice has dropped to a whisper. But having determined that she is not a threat, I drop my maw back to my daughter. "Come, sweetling, up you get," I tell her, pressing encouragement into my tones. But inside I am dying. Or perhaps I am already dead.


"Talk talk talk."
Sohalia
Don't wanna leave this life knowing I barely tried...
Please tag Sohalia in all replies.
Use of force and/or magic (with the exception of death) is allowed at all times.

Want to place an order?  Visit Crystalline Creations here!
Want to plot with Sohalia?  Visit her plot page here!

Note Posts: 183
Hidden Account
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 15.3hh :: 6 years Buff: NOVICE
Sabel :: Iberian Lynx :: Stormcall bry
#4
[Image: 50f4feb8c0907]



N o t e

The air was thick and hot in the Tallsun season. It was not particularly a time Note enjoyed, in fact, he hated Tallsun. He found himself wandering in the Steppe nowadays, looking for some evidence that cold air still existed, though today...today was different. He felt drawn to the oasis of the Throat, but he was not sure why.

Note had traveled on foot, he would've flown, but who would risk a canter in this heat? It was not something he could do at this point, already his muscles were slick with sweat. He looked handsome and gleaming as the sun caught his dusty coat, but his face was much like stone. Emotionless.

Everything appeared normal as Note trudged through the desert, but felt that something was off. He sighed, lifting his gaze from his hooves to see a slender, but compact, ivory coated figure in the distance accompanied by a buckskin. He would recognize Sohalia anywhere, and this was her, but she was so much thinner than when he had last seen her.

The foal. It must've came.

Note broke into a full on gallop, his long legs covering a great amount of land in quick strides. He had never ran so fast, then again, he never had a reason to. He had been unknowing of his own speed his entire life, but realized it was all thanks to his thoroughbred mother. She had often left Note behind when they went on playful runs, though she didn't mean to.

There were two lumps on the ground - one with a white coat even more white than Sohalia's, and the other a blend of her mother and father's coats, a light cream color. They were no doubt his children, but the white one wasn't moving like it's stirring sister. Realization gripped his heart like an icy cold hand, crushing it slowly and painfully.

Note slowed his gait as he approached the mares, looking from hurt Sohalia to their children then to the buckskin he had never met in pure confusion and hurt. "Soh..." His voice trailed off as he slowly approached his mate. He was breathless and panting from the run, only managing to say that much. His eyes reflected the true anguish he felt inside for his family, now reduced by one.


Skysong Posts: N/A
Unregistered
:: :: ::
#5

Skysong

I emerged from the warm darkness into a world of light and heat, and to be perfectly honest, all I wanted was to go back. It was simple in there, and out in the world things quickly became complicated. As I gently settled in the golden granules that I would later call sand, I felt a form bump against my maw. It was that thing that had been with me all that time in the warm dark place. I was confused, for if I was moving, then shouldn't my other be moving too? I took a breath, and I was distracted from this particular question by the many smells of the world. I couldn't tell you how I knew that that smell was Mother, but I knew, and I lifted my head toward her as she began to clean me.

And there was another smell, a similar smell, but different, and as I opened my bi-colored orbs for the first time, I saw Mother. Something wet was on her face, something that I would later recognize as tears. Next my gaze found my other, a small, white, lifeless lump that looked a lot like me. Again confusion reigned as I reached out to bump my muzzle against the other. But there was still no movement. Later I would understand death. But for the time being, I hadn't the attention span for it. Another creature, looking sort of like Mother, but not, stood nearby, and I wondered who it was. Would it be Father? No, it wasn't quite right to be Father. Besides, it did not have his voice, and I had heard him speak to Mother when I was in the warm dark place.

I looked back to her again, excited to begin this thing that they call life. I had been distracted during her speech to the strange creature, but now her attention was back to me. "Come, sweetling, up you get," she murmurs, and though I am confused because my name is Skysong, not sweetling, whatever that meant, some instinct inside me tells me what to do. I needed to rise, to fill my young belly, to grow strong and tall like Mother. But even then, even when I did not understand the death thing, I knew that my other should be with me. That it should also be moving it's limbs, rising for the first time. But it still did not move, and I waited, holding on to that thing called hope.

A new voice came then, and I turned my head to recognize Father. Again, I knew his scent, though I did not know how. It was simply accepted that I was in the world, and that was Mother, and this was Father. I found myself leaning toward him, and then toward mother. One of my legs stretched, and then another, and I was surprised that I was able to unfold them, and that they were so long. I gave one last look to the motionless lump, and then I heaved myself to my feet. And fell with an oomph. A small frown creased my forehead. I was unaware of the things that the grown-ups were saying or feeling, concentrated completely on the task at hand. Again I shoved to my feet, and this time, though I wobbled, I managed to stay standing. I puffed up my chest with pride. A small grumble sounded from my stomach, and I learned the meaning of the word hungry. And then, staggering to my mother, I learned the meaning of the word eat.

"Talk talk talk."


Xylia Posts: N/A
Unregistered
:: :: ::
#6
[skip over Xylia. you can just assume she's observing!]

Sohalia the Transcended Posts: 477
Outcast atk: 4 | def: 9.5 | dam: 6.5
Mare :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: 10 (ages in Orangemoon) HP: 67 | Buff: NOVICE
Astraeus :: Common Zephyr :: Wakiya ChaoticMelodies
#7
Sohalia

His scent comes before his voice, though only just. "Soh..." he says, and in that one syllable I can hear ever bit of anguish that I am feeling. And perhaps more, for I can sense that he is worried. I am distraught. I cannot think, cannot breathe, cannot feel anything but the devastating loss of my firstborn, and the overwhelming joy of my second. It is the oddest mixture of emotions that I have ever felt, and yet it would seem that the pain is winning above all else. I raise my head from its place beside Skysong, but I cannot meet his eyes. My fault, my fault, my fault, my fault...

I am dimly aware of the filly rising, falling - my breath catches in my throat, my orbs snapping to her again, be she is already up again, toddling over to nurse for the first time, blissfully unaware of the meaning of that which is going on around her. And for a moment, I do not have to worry about distressing her. I finally manage to look Note in the eyes, but my gaze is tortured, haunted, for I have seen that which I had never wanted to see. I can't... I can't what? Live? Die? Breathe? Move? Part of me hates myself for my immobility, my incomprehension, the dizzying pressure of my heartache. I should be stronger, I should be better, I must... but then I remember my child lying motionless on the ground, and I can't...

Skysong, done with her meal, gives Note and I a dazzling, sleepy smile and settles into the sand in the shadow of the rock. Within moments, she is napping, and I allow myself the few small steps I need to reach my lover's side. I cannot speak, cannot explain, cannot function; I simply bury my face into his mane, unless he chooses to move away from me - and I would not blame him for doing so... my fault, my fault, my fault... I cannot stop the tears then, and a soft sob wracks my body. I try to hold it back, to hold it in, but I am silently shaking with grief. "I am so sorry," I whisper, and I do not realize when it becomes my quiet mantra. "I am so sorry... so... sorry... I... sorry..."


"Talk talk talk."
Sohalia
Don't wanna leave this life knowing I barely tried...
Please tag Sohalia in all replies.
Use of force and/or magic (with the exception of death) is allowed at all times.

Want to place an order?  Visit Crystalline Creations here!
Want to plot with Sohalia?  Visit her plot page here!

Note Posts: 183
Hidden Account
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 15.3hh :: 6 years Buff: NOVICE
Sabel :: Iberian Lynx :: Stormcall bry
#8
[Image: 50f4feb8c0907]



N o t e

Note closed his eyes as she buried her muzzle into his mane, a broken sob escaping her lips. He didn't know whether to feel sad for loosing the life of his child, or angered at the Gods for stealing her away so soon. They had caused Sohalia's sobs and you cannot simply hurt the ones Note loves like that.

But he knew he shouldn't be thinking like that. It was no one's fault for the child's death, and he knew it. "Sohalia, it's alright," Note spoke at last, his bright green eyes opening with a flutter of dark eyelashes, "She'll be our Diniel."

Wait. She didn't even know the story of Diniel, how could he expect his mate to understand? "Where I come from, we had a story of an angel named Diniel. She was the Guardian of Infants, making sure no harm came to the little ones," Note spoke, launching into the explanation without really waiting for Sohalia to react. His gaze flicked from child to child as he spun the story, watching the sisters protectively.

"She'll be our Diniel, and she'll watch over her sister from above, okay?" He finished, turning to draw Sohalia out of his mane. His mood had changed, Note had seemingly calmed down. A reassuring light was held in his sharp green eyes as he looked over his precious mate. Anything to get her smile back.


Sohalia the Transcended Posts: 477
Outcast atk: 4 | def: 9.5 | dam: 6.5
Mare :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: 10 (ages in Orangemoon) HP: 67 | Buff: NOVICE
Astraeus :: Common Zephyr :: Wakiya ChaoticMelodies
#9
Sohalia

"Sohalia, it's alright," he says, and for a moment, anger flares within me. How can he say that? That it will be alright? It is not alright, it will never be alright, our child is lying lifeless on the ground, how is that alright? But my sobs only come harder, and my anger dies as quickly as it has come, drowned by the sorrow. Just like me. Drowning. "She'll be our Diniel." Diniel...? But I barely have time to think the question before he has explained. ... she'll watch over her sister from above, okay?" He draws away, gazes into my bi-colored orbs furtively. He is trying to pull me from the darkness, I can see that, but I cannot follow. No, for I have seen what he has not, and I know that our Diniel does not fly above like the metaphorical guardian angels that are thought to be so common. No, she wanders the spirit realm. Alone.

I cringe away, unable to meet his gaze. "No," I tell him softly. "She can't." I long to tell him that I saw her, that I touched her spirit, even if it was brief. But I cannot find the words, and my voice will not come. I shake my head, lost within my own mind, muttering apologies, explanations, meaningless words. None of it makes sense, none of it is even really audible, it is just a jumble of sounds. Slowly, his words begin to sink in. Could he be right? Could Diniel watch over Skysong from the spirit world? My eyes jump to Skysong, watching her small, fragile form, curled into a sleeping ball. Does she dream? Does Diniel visit her as she did me?

It is still my fault, and I am still pained, but there is light now, and I know that it stems from my family, even broken as we are. My sobs begin to quite, my tears begin to dry. Finally, I am able to return my gaze to my mate's emerald one. "Diniel she will be, love, and I hope that she will watch over Skysong as you say," My voice is tired, distant; I almost do not recognize it as my own. I am riddled with grief even now, even as he is pulling me from my anguish, forcing breath back into my drowning soul. But I do not smile. I remember feeling them kick - or was it only Skysong? Had I been carrying death within my womb for all this time? No, I cannot smile. Maybe tomorrow. But not today.


"Talk talk talk."
Sohalia
Don't wanna leave this life knowing I barely tried...
Please tag Sohalia in all replies.
Use of force and/or magic (with the exception of death) is allowed at all times.

Want to place an order?  Visit Crystalline Creations here!
Want to plot with Sohalia?  Visit her plot page here!

Note Posts: 183
Hidden Account
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 15.3hh :: 6 years Buff: NOVICE
Sabel :: Iberian Lynx :: Stormcall bry
#10
[Image: 50f4feb8c0907]



N o t e

Her eyes couldn't seem to meet his own. Note gazed at Sohalia, though he was acutely aware of the sleeping Skysong. Words couldn't describe the emptiness he felt. There was no pain, sorrow, or even hatred that resided in him, only a vague sense of nothing that filled his body. He couldn't find it in himself to feel anything.

Sohalia turned her head ever-so-delicately, speaking in a distant voice. Note stared back into her bi-colored orbs, his own looking mournful. He couldn't speak anymore, but it wasn't as if either of them needed words at the moment. The dusty bay touched his muzzle to hers, before turning away and heading over to Skysong.

Note's muscles strained from their recent use, throbbing and almost begging him to lie down. He gazed at his daughter for a moment, eyeing her half white face. It was too adorable. The dusty bay lied down next to her as silently as he could, simply watching her. Nothing would ever, ever harm the child under his gaze.


Sohalia the Transcended Posts: 477
Outcast atk: 4 | def: 9.5 | dam: 6.5
Mare :: Pegasus :: 14.3 hh :: 10 (ages in Orangemoon) HP: 67 | Buff: NOVICE
Astraeus :: Common Zephyr :: Wakiya ChaoticMelodies
#11
[OOC | I'd call this done? :3]
Please tag Sohalia in all replies.
Use of force and/or magic (with the exception of death) is allowed at all times.

Want to place an order?  Visit Crystalline Creations here!
Want to plot with Sohalia?  Visit her plot page here!

Note Posts: 183
Hidden Account
Stallion :: Pegasus :: 15.3hh :: 6 years Buff: NOVICE
Sabel :: Iberian Lynx :: Stormcall bry
#12
[ooc: agreed, rayo c: ]


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