| Deceased |
| Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17 hh :: 10 years Buff: NOVICE |
| Dark |
02-14-2013, 10:46 PM
(This post was last modified: 02-20-2013, 03:06 PM by Blu.)
I prance about, excited about my new magic. I'm all riled up about it, and I don't even know why. I haven't used it too often, but I was getting better. It was amazing! Having such power in your hands. And now, my plans would slide into action now. I was going to be strong, to sacrifice myself. I wanted one last thing. Or, a few more things anyway. Now that I was better, it was time for me to put my plans into action.
I trot along the Throat, my legs moving swiftly. My wings are tucked at my sides, my nose kept high. Sand is kicked up behind me as I stride along. The sun's warm rays beat down on my palomino back, causing my to sweat. I was risking everything by doing this. But, it must be done. I can't procrastinate, I can't just push it to the back of my mind and leave it there to collect dust. No, I was going to do this. And now.
A storm brewed farther back, my ears instantly flick towards the gathering lightning. I see a flash, and instantly I think of Delinne. I would win this for her. If I lost, I could always stay with her... wherever she settled down.
Focus! I scream out to myself. I needed to focus or else I would lose this battle. That is, if they ever come. They most likely would, but I could never be too sure. My fiery eyes drifted to the sky, and I longed to soar. But I was going to fight upon the ground unless I truly did need to fight within the skies. I would use my magic against my opponent if I could. I would try to be fast. If I was to lose this battle... everything would be over. I would no longer be able to come back to the Throat. But if I were to win, everything would change. I would be able to command others. Yes... think about winning. I can feel my lips curl into a smile as I stare at the sky. The sun was high, drifting there in an endless stretch of blue. Today, it was so lovely. But soon enough...
Someone would fall.
In one last move, I lower my maw. Letting out a thunderous battle cry. I was letting Kri know.
I was ready for a battle.
"Blah blah blah."
ooc: Azzaron is challenging Kri for leadership. Here are the details:
Four attacks each, one opening attack and one closing defense. You may start with the opening attack. Magic/Companions are allowed. It takes place in the Throat at around mid-day/morning-ish.
word count:401
 |
|
"When you grow old, you will die and rot on the ground,
Other horses will dance when you all crumble, when your kingdom falls.
When your crowns break."
Kri the Resolute Posts: 243
| Hidden Account |
| Mare :: Pegasus :: 14.3hh :: 10 Buff: NUMB |
| Boom Boom! |
02-15-2013, 10:24 AM
(This post was last modified: 02-15-2013, 10:26 AM by Kri.)
 In the wake of Azzuen's death, I had grown increasingly more solemn as the days dragged onward, an endless onslaught of grey. There was less color in the desert than ever before, as if the life had been sapped away by the great stream of light that blessed me for my kind words and heart. It is not often I am praised for my kindness, but this might be a lesson for any who doubt that deep inside the ravenous bitch is a heart which bleeds easily. Right now, it is still bleeding for the General I trusted as my own brother. There were no tears to be shed, no eulogy to be written, no gravestones to mark the wave where his noble body had fallen. I had nothing left to give for the stallion, nothing but mournful thoughts and a less vibrant appearance. I was dull, clinging to life out of habit, looking for strands of normalcy which floated in and out, but normalcy could not be found. A piece of my heart had gone missing.
Still, I am never weak.
The great cry of war peels across my land, tearing it in two from my position up in the lofty skies, falling in opposite of the great storm toward the South, the Oasis. A sudden fear that Tio had collected an army with impossible speed, or Ktulu the Monster had forsaken my agreement with Ophelia. Tilting on determined wings, I move as a fast wave of chocolate driven by the wind I held ties with, sailing easily upon the wind toward the edge of my home. About midway from my former position to the border, I see no army, no slew of bodies rushing forward colliding with one another, but one single golden body, flames of red upon his wings. A piss ant crawling around on my floors, waiting for me to come and fight him for my position.
Immediately, the panic my family would be in jeopardy today is shifted to one of vehemence tainted with betrayal. Heavy oceans churn in my eyes, glowing with hot embers embedded deep below. Life, which had been little more than a script lately, came rushing back and forced fire back into my face, returned color to my pelt. I am angry at this fool, who would tear more holes in my family after the presence of our beloved General has already ripped a scar across the chest of this land. What the Dragon's Throat needed in this period of mourning was not a new leader but stability. I will die before I allow this chaos to ensnare my home. I answer his call with my own brusque voice, like any prideful stallion, deep in sound and vibrant in meaning, yet still the screech of a harpy who would be quick after your heels. I would make Azzaron regret his existence, as he has now removed himself from my list of kin. Now, he was a threat to the peace I tried so hard to retain.
Downward, my wings drive me, a tight spiral as I push from behind with the wind, driving me quick and straight downward, an arrow for his back, much like the knife he stabbed through mine. It mattered little if he saw me approaching, for with the wind upon my side, I would be faster of flight than any in the skies, much less on hoof. It was too late for the fool to run now; the shrew has arrived. Some twenty feet from the air, my wings fly out horizontally, tilting me more sideways I drag up the wind under them, changing my angle to steady me, becoming more parallel with the ground and not threatening my life or limb with colliding hard on the dirt. I keep my pace, my speed, allowing the wind to drive me sharp and hard, front hooves extended like violent swords, toward the left side of the golden brute. My aim is vaguely his barrel, though I wouldn't mind snapping his wing joint and making him an easy ground bound target, none of my strength held back for the enemies of my family. With violent force, I snap my teeth open and toward the neck of the marauder as I would collide into him, should he not dodge from my reach before we meet. I am a wave of mutilation, and he the shore which I will tear apart in mournful glee. Let his blood stain the earth to cleanse the sin he would bring to this land today.
Let me bury him under it.
[ WC: 798; 1/4; 0/2.
Wind magic used in this post is passive.
Buffs: Bulk and Swift. ]
 |
| Deceased |
| Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17 hh :: 10 years Buff: NOVICE |
| Dark |
In an instant my war call is answered. I see a flash of chocolate in the sky and my lips curl up into a smile. I instantly wonder what our dear sultana is wondering at this moment. Probably thinking I'm an idiot for challenging her. But she's the fool for coming. I shake my head, knowing I should retain myself from using my magic unless I truly had to. In an instant I rear up, watching Kri come hurtling towards me. She's aiming for my barrel, or my wings. I instantly snap to the left side, although her hoof scrapes my neck slightly. Her teeth just nick my ear, causing it to bleed a little bit.
Fool. I hear my thoughts echo throughout my head as I tilt my cranium, white teeth bared. I aimed a blow to the face, specifically the eye area. A blind creature is a dead, flightless creature. I remember my father's words. He had told me blinding your opponent is the best thing to do when you start fighting. Or you break a few bones within their bodies. A pegasus with a broken wing was an easy target.
I snap back to battle, glaring at Kri with fiery eyes. I can feel a small amount of red liquid trickle down my neck. I paw the earth, snorting. I charge, keeping my fiery eyes on Kri. She has wind magic... remember this! I have to remind myself, but I knew I had the advantage. Fires grew stronger with the wind. I forced myself to stop planning and throw my fore hooves up once the chocolate sultana is in front of me. I make sure to keep my hooves low enough to guard my stomach so Kri didn't try to bite the soft flesh. I aim a jab to the sultana's neck, shoulder or face. Whichever. I wanted to deal as much damage as I could before Kri attacked me. With fire in my eyes, I lower my fore hooves, spinning around to give Kri a nice kick. A very powerful kick. But that was only if she didn't dodge it. Which she most likely would. But I would be ready. I kept my head turned so I could see the chocolate pegasus. I wanted Kri's blood to spill. For me to gain the title of "Sultan of the Dragon's Throat". But first, I had to beat Kri.
"Blah blah blah."
ooc:
Attack: As Kri dives towards him he aims to bite her face, specifically her (left)eye, attempting to blind her. He rears up, aiming to jab Kri in the face/neck/shoulders. Once he has all four of his hooves on the ground he turns around and aims to kick Kri in the chest with his hind leg.
Defense: As he rears up to jab Kri he keeps his fore legs somewhat low to guard his stomach. His wings are tucked.
word count:401
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"When you grow old, you will die and rot on the ground,
Other horses will dance when you all crumble, when your kingdom falls.
When your crowns break."
Kri the Resolute Posts: 243
| Hidden Account |
| Mare :: Pegasus :: 14.3hh :: 10 Buff: NUMB |
| Boom Boom! |
I am surprised to see that Azzaron rises precariously on back legs as I come to crash into his figure. What kind of an oaf believes they are safe on such an unbalanced pair of legs against the force of a propelled object as large as a full grown pegasus? I may be small, but I am far from insignificant. Miraculously, the golden brute manages to pull his form toward the left, while at the same time tossing his mouth toward my face. Instead of allowing him to bite at my deep colored eyes, I slam down with my right wing toward his moving face, trying to slap him with enough force to deter the bite, tucking my face toward the right, the snap of his teeth missing the mark and falling deftly on a shoulder. The change in distance allows for his mouth to be clogged with too much bulk to get a good grip, his jaws sliding from me and leaving a disgusting trail of spit and future bruise, but there was no chance at breaking my skin. I throw the chocolate limb with enough force to hopefully avoid his teeth being directed instead at the softer bones, if he can even move his neck that quickly in the short period of time it takes place. I smirk to myself as the actions occur swiftly, markedly amused by one would call themselves a warrior yet fight this horribly.
I may not be the largest, the most intimidating, or the scariest of opponents, but surely I am worth more than a toss of limbs with a fool such as this.
I do not return to the earth, nor do I stop. With just a slim drag on my momentum as my grey hooves skirt across the surface of the stallion's neck, I move forward, my wings driving forward. As I sail by, unrestrained by the earth below, I kick with force toward the fleeting face of my opponent who retreats toward the desert sands instead of joining me in the air above. Maybe one swift knock on his head would rearrange his brain enough to make him logical, but I really doubted sanity for this one ever being recovered. A pegasus who is fond of battle upon the ground is obviously deranged. Why would you forsake your genetic miracle for something any other equid could obtain moments after they fall from the womb?
I hear as I fly forward the sound of hooves churning the earth, a charge which would find me not within the bounds of his reach, but in the sky. Without hesitation, I tilt vertically upward, curving my flight. Up, up, and around, a circle made as I back-flip in the air, my dark eyes looking down with blind hatred upon the figure of gold and crimson as it chases my tail that escapes into the air, a graceful rear which lifts the stallion's body into the air, but not nearly high enough to reach me in the heavens. I carve the sky in a beautiful arc, coming back around, this time flying slightly right, to move my body back into a position to ram into the stallion from above once more, hopefully getting through his thick skull that I would not land upon the sand. Get off your ass and fight me properly in the sky, if you really think yourself worthy of being Sultan.
As he turns his weight back downward, I become more parallel with the ground, approaching from behind the stallion, at an angle from the right. As his rear end lifts from the ground, I send a jolt of wind from behind me, smiling with violent glee as I feel my speed increasing, my hooves extended before me yet again, but this time, I aim to hit him while his rump is expose to the air, cleanly hit him with enough force to knock him off his long legs and back into the red dirt. My hooves looking toward the hip, a sturdy target that would feel the force behind my attack and send the boy crumpling to the ground, if I am successful. Perhaps if I was not so pissed off about this fool trying to take my family from me, I would feel bad for attacking him at such a vulnerable point. However, he had entered on a suicide mission the moment his damaged brain formulated the thought of challenging me. Let us see if he can survive it.
[ WC: 775; 2/4; 0/2.
Wind magic used in this post is passive.
Buffs: Bulk and Swift. ]
|
| Deceased |
| Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17 hh :: 10 years Buff: NOVICE |
| Dark |
That was it! I'm now completely enraged. I had not only missed Kri's eye, but I couldn't even break her skin! With swift movements I dodge the sultana's flying limb, but narrowly. It nicks my skin, leaving no damage behind. I smirk, stepping backwards.
Upon seeing the sultana's attempt to kick me I snort, agitated. Did she think I was really that stupid as to remain on the ground for this entire battle? I would wait to launch myself, wait until Kri finishes her attacks.
I see the chocolate mare dive down, going at lightning fast speeds. She was aiming towards my hip, and I spin around, my mind telling me to use my magic. But I keep myself from using it. I wouldn't waste my magic just yet. In an instant I slip towards the side, watching as Kri flew by. This time, I made sure I was close enough before I swooped my head towards her. I tried yet again to bite her face. This time I put force into it, ready to tear through flesh. Use your magic while you still can! I flick my ears back, not wanting to use my magic just yet.
I stretch my wings, galloping forth before launching myself high into the sky. My appendages are now outstretched, and I curve back to face Kri. Her chocolate figure is there, but I'm behind her where she cannot see me. I charge forth, trying to be swift and silent. Once I was upon her, I raise my forelegs, aiming my grey hooves between her wings, where it could easily deal great amounts of damage. I withdraw, gliding in a circle to face the sultana again. By now my heart was pounding, and the heat of the sun caused sweat to soak parts of my coat. Heat like this would only help my magic. It'd speed up the heating process a bit. I stare at the sultana with fiery eyes, waiting for her to make her move.
"Blah blah blah."
ooc: Attack post 2/4. [[I don't know if I need to do a summary or not... Just tell me so I may fix it. ;) ]]
word count: 333
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"When you grow old, you will die and rot on the ground,
Other horses will dance when you all crumble, when your kingdom falls.
When your crowns break."
Kri the Resolute Posts: 243
| Hidden Account |
| Mare :: Pegasus :: 14.3hh :: 10 Buff: NUMB |
| Boom Boom! |
In my tumble with Svetlana in the stormy skies, I had learned that fools must be blessed with speed they should not possess. I had trained for months, years, nearly a decade, and earned the power of wind which followed behind my flight with each moment that I drew breath, yet somehow, this imbecile golden bastard was actually managing to outpace me. My wing misses him almost entirely, and with just a simple flick of his head, he is entirely out of range of my limbs? I knew that my legs were stubby, but had I really underestimated my range that badly? I am frustrated and beginning to suspect trickery or some other foul play. Still, it was no matter if he was impossibly fast, I would surmount him in skill yet. Azzaron the Dumb has no idea of the strength years of training has created, otherwise he would not have crossed me so thoughtlessly.
My wings carry me back downward, toward the fool who has managed to return to the earth in mid-motion. I began to think his figure is nothing more than a mirage in the desert; am I even battling a real figure at all? Still, the snap of his teeth which follows behind me as I sail onward reminds me that this is a true battle. Azzaron may be blind to movement, overestimating or underestimating where I happen to be in space far too often, but he is dangerous in his recklessness. There is no target you are completely safe from, for even an oaf can have a stroke of luck and leave you crippled. I am hopeful that my wit will outshine his, despite the fact that he is larger, and that my strength will overcome any surprises he unleashes upon me.
For the sake of my family not falling under the control of this dolt, I must prevail. I have no option but to raise my sword once more, fighting valiantly until I make his feathered arse say uncle. I am stubborn. I am willful. I am strong. I am resolute.
I hear the thrumming of hooves upon the ground, the swift sound of feathers which whistle in air. So, the coward has finally decided to lift himself from the floor and chase after me. I smile with contented glee. Now, I can really tear into him. I flick my ears behind me, listening for the sound of his body as it soars through the air. The wind stills, allowing my pace in the air to become normal, listening, straining. It is of no use. My brow knits in frustration as I realize he is invisible to my ears and eyes, but I am smarter than this dimwitted bird of gold and red. The sun above which warms my back uncomfortably, drawing forth sweat from my pores, also draws out an idea. My dark eyes fall toward the crimson down a mere ten feet from my hovering form, and skittering across the sands are shadows. One shadow, belonging to my smaller body, and another, lankier figure, belonging to my opponent. "Got you," I say with a smirk, a whisper which curls and is lost in the air, following his path with my dark blue eyes as I hold my flight steady, watching his approach as the little figure dances closer to mine.
I wait for his pace to quicken, shadow narrowing, closing in on my back. Then, I pull up and out on my large chocolate wings, a parachute catching the wind I control and bringing me to an almost immediate stop in the air, the whistle of hooves as they fall down where my spine would have been. Without the recoil from my body, perhaps this fool would carry straight on toward the ground, making a bloody face-plant upon the desert floor. In battle, there was no time for easy gliding. Riding a new fresh wave of wind, I chase after him, my body rising slightly in altitude to place myself above where I expected his complacent figure to be, watching as his circle is slow and lazy, but my pace is sharp and cutting, a barracuda after a clownfish. The Queen after the head of her unruly jester.
With relentless force, I drive my body downward toward the neck of my opponent, the crest were his nape meets his withers, my knees bent and aiming to fall cleanly upon him and push him downward. Maybe I would get lucky and snap his neck. The Throat could be eating roast bird tonight.
[ WC: 797; 3/4; 0/2.
Wind magic used in this post is passive.
Buffs: Bulk and Swift. ]
|
| Deceased |
| Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17 hh :: 10 years Buff: NOVICE |
| Dark |
02-16-2013, 12:16 PM
(This post was last modified: 02-16-2013, 12:17 PM by Azzaron.)
She moved! Just GREAT! I snort in fustrastion as I soar towards the ground. Speed, she's all about speed. I glance up, feeling the temptation of magic. I would use it soon. I speed up, angling my wings so I began to shoot towards the sky. I wasn't giving up just yet. I see Kri coming for me, she aims for my neck. She's trying to kill me! I glare at her with fiery eyes. I smile, ready to use my magic. I begin to think about it, staring at Kri. With the heat from the sun, maybe my magic will work a little faster. I keep my eyes focused on Kri, waiting. It may take a while, but I could still dodge her attack as she came. I fling myself to the right, keeping my crimson orbs focused on the chocolate sultana.
I keep myself at a distance, waiting for the sultana to scream out. If she was smart enough, she'd surrender. If she wasn't, she'd attempt to blow out the flames, which begin to burn internally. While retaining my magic I throw myself at the sultana, hooves outstretched and pointed towards ribs. I also outstretch my neck, aiming to bite her eye yet again. I then reel backwards, keeping my eyes on her. I could win this. I will win this. Or, so I hope. The sultana is strong, and is very rarely beaten. I suppose I was an idiot for challenging her, but I knew I could at least deal some damage to her. Maybe. So far I had only put a bruise on her, but now I was angry.
I kept my focus on her, letting my magic last. Letting Kri feel the sun's wrath. I can feel my lips curl into a smile. Was Kri ready to back down, or was she going to be stubborn as usual and fight me?
"Blah blah blah."
ooc: Attack post 3/4. He uses his magic on Kri, so he can now only use his magic once more. ;) [[I don't know if in challenges/battled you have to ask about using magic on others... please tell me if I do!]]
word count: 316
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"When you grow old, you will die and rot on the ground,
Other horses will dance when you all crumble, when your kingdom falls.
When your crowns break."
Kri the Resolute Posts: 243
| Hidden Account |
| Mare :: Pegasus :: 14.3hh :: 10 Buff: NUMB |
| Boom Boom! |
Yet, was it not the very Sun Azzaron threw against me that named me Queen here, when Leander and Svetlana had goaded others to follow? The Sun who granted this belligerent fool power would not follow behind him should he attempt to overthrow me, and the only way he would use fire against me would be in direct refute of the God's own words, and for that, he would suffer soon enough. Even if I could not devour him in flames myself, hell would be keeping up behind him with retribution for his crimes.
Now, however, as I feel my body slide by his figure, I lift up on my wings, setting out horizontally and looking up toward him with my dark, ocean eyes. I am tiring, either from my age or this heat, but this goose chase in which my body finds no mark upon his flesh, the rush to keep my body after his when he is surely a magician to be able to escape unscathed from a blind attack is wearing down my resolve. I still do not relent, nor will I give up the battle for this oaf. Let his dodge like a coward, for I will still arise victorious when his energy wanes. At least, that was my thought. I can feel the temperature on my shoulder building first, the temperature of my bruise rising uncomfortable as the sweat begins to build. My muscles begin to ache from heat, and, in a quick attempt to rid myself of this fever, I act quickly. I gulp in three or four massive breaths, and then still my wings, closing my eyes and focusing my energy on the air around me.
Azzaron, you are an idiot, I think, trying to use this sort of bastard magic against me, and assuming I have no way to squelch your fire. Yet, tell me, how does fire exist without oxygen? I grasp the threads of the air pressure, pushing the air our and away from me, the temperature around my frame dropping rapidly, quickly, only being heated by my own body and the sun above, which seems an awfully long way from here. I open my eyes, feeling the flames that were burning in my belly minimized, the aches and pains finding no hold as I breath no air, asphyxiating myself on purpose to avoid the burns, ridding the air around me to avoid the sting. I am a clever little bitch, and my opponent nothing but a second-rate warrior expecting the strength of a deity to do his bidding for him.
Cowardly, offensive, and down right ugly. I hope he burns for the mistakes he has made today, the crimes committed.
I catch sight of the idiot closing in, and I push up with my wings to avoid his hooves, yet they still scrape along the bottom of my ribs as my wings rise, leaving a two gashes and burning sensation not caused by fire. Hopefully, at least, his stupid face would be close-lined by my own barrel. Using this opportunity with his body lumbering underneath me, I kick out with my back hooves toward his back, wings, anything that they could get a hold of, with all of the force that I had left. Black began to take my vision without air, and I release the magic as the fire dies down in my gut, allowing the air to rush back in unaffected, restoring oxygen to my lungs and relieving the burning of my muscles not caused by fire. I gasp on air, choking it back into my sore lungs and flying onward, trying to gather my wits about me before his Haughtiness came after me more idiotic ideas on what constitutes a good attack.
Maybe he will think me crazy, but I care not. I lift my head toward the sun in the blue sky above and let out a callous laugh.
I will never bow to you.
[ WC: 685; 4/4; 1/2.
Wind magic used in this post is passive.
Buffs: Bulk and Swift. ]
|
| Deceased |
| Stallion :: Pegasus :: 17 hh :: 10 years Buff: NOVICE |
| Dark |
02-16-2013, 02:15 PM
(This post was last modified: 02-16-2013, 02:17 PM by Azzaron.)
I watch as Kri stops her own breathing. I curse in my head, cursing Kri for being so clever. But now was my chance. While she chokes herself, I rush forward, and this time, speed was everything. I hurtle towards the brown body of the sultana, my neck and fore legs outstretched. I aimed my teeth at her throat or face, and my gray daggers towards her chest. I whip around, throwing my hind legs out towards the neck of the sultana. By now I was extremely frustrated. She had managed to evade most of my attacks. Even my magic attack! I was all rage now.
I smile, finally feeling happy. I can see the two gashes on the sultana's barrel, made by my hooves. She kicks her hind legs towards my back, and I know I can't dodge it. I feel her hooves dig into my back, causing a delicate crimson liquid to seep out of the soft tissue. I flinch, testing to see if I can still feel every one of my limbs. I'm good, I can feel all of my limbs move, every muscle twitch. I sweep my wings, trying to give the sultana a good slap. I'm propelled backwards, my cream body is nowhere near the sultana.
Even though I feel as though our battle is over, I shoot myself higher into the sky. I can hear the sultana laugh, and while she does that, she stares up high into the sun. I'm in her blind spot, and I glance down, seeing the shadows. Instead I swoop down swiftly, speeding towards the sultana's back. I aim my forelegs at the top of her rump, hoping to scrape my hooves along her spine. As I pass her head, I throw my hind legs down, aiming to hit her neck or the spot right between her ears. I fly farther away from her, swinging around to face her once more. In one last attempt to wear her out, I begin to use my magic for one last time.
"Blah blah blah."
ooc: Attack post 4/4 Magic usage: 2/2
word count: 340
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|
"When you grow old, you will die and rot on the ground,
Other horses will dance when you all crumble, when your kingdom falls.
When your crowns break."
Kri the Resolute Posts: 243
| Hidden Account |
| Mare :: Pegasus :: 14.3hh :: 10 Buff: NUMB |
| Boom Boom! |
His bite coming in tandem with his hooves, I must have missed it when I first saw him coming after me. The teeth scrape upon my shoulder, leaving little but minor bruises, my shoulders matched for injury now. I ignore the pain, for it is of no great consequence compared to the dull ache in my muscles. I can only imagine how much worse it would be had I not used my own magic to minimize the damage, but there was no time for dwelling on previous problems. The swish of air from wings underneath me are all I feel, aside from the gentle brush of feathers. It was a foolish attack, but just one of many that continued to build up during this fight. I was tired of trying to count all of the mistakes one being can make, and focused instead upon enjoying myself for the last moments of pummeling this stallion. My back hooves colliding with his back, and how I hope it snaps under my strength.
I flew on victorious, freed from the grasp of his flames, my head held high to the sky as I laughed, yet below I hear the whistle of wings. He was not attempting stealth this time, allowing me to listen quite clearly to his movements. I am tired, growing less and less willing to dart about, focusing instead upon the sound of his wingbeats, I prepare for one swift movement. Down, down he comes, and I curve my wings, allowing my body to twist off sideways toward the left, one wide half-arc. I can see quite easily in the corners of my dark eyes his figure as he plunges by, missing me completely. I smirk with tired grace, feeling free for one moment of beautiful clarity. My moment of freedom is soon to be stripped from me, as the heat returns.
I am no new filly to this game, however, and I respond with a bitter laugh as I force the last of my energy toward my magic once more, expelling the air from around me immediately, and soaring upward in altitude to further beat the heat by eating up the oxygen within my muscles. What little effect his magic takes is almost pleasant, warming in the the cold vacuum around my body. And, in a short while, it is over. The darkness which reigns around my eyes wavers as a headache splits my skull, but I have survived two trials of the heat, and I am still flying easily. On tired wings, I begin to glide back down toward the floors of my home, toward my fate.
How I hope my home greets me warmly.
[ WC: 466; closing defense; 2/2.
Buffs: Bulk and Swift. ]
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| Administrator |
| Stallion :: Equine :: :: |
| Official |
02-20-2013, 02:59 PM
(This post was last modified: 02-20-2013, 02:59 PM by Official.)
K r i | A z z a r o n
- - - - -
By my verdict KRI is the winner.
Kri has been awarded one VP. She retains her position as Leader and may decide Azzaron's fate in the Throat herd.
KRI -- post 1 (attack only)
[Realism]
+ 1| Attack: air strike towards barrel.
+ 1| Attack: bite in passing.
[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion.
+ 1| Flow.
0| Ease of read: This was great, actually, until the last paragraph. You start the attack, "..quick and straight downward, an arrow for his back.." and then you write more, and then you come to: "Some twenty feet from the air, my wings fly out horizontally, tilting me more sideways.." etc, which had me quite confused for a while, as I was not sure if you had made the attack? A second round? When you speak of becoming parallel with the ground I started assuming you were going to land, but then it turned out you were just completing the attack, but it did have me quite confused for a while.
AZZARON -- post 1
[Realism]
- 1| Defense: snapping to the left would just bring her down on your back, as she was already aiming to your left. You'd place yourself more directly below her. Also, "scrape down my neck slightly" is a very vague description. Does it hurt? Does it bruise? Does it scrape off the skin, as hooves sometimes do? Does it restrict you in any way, does it make it harder for you to turn your head? The neck is a large area, and I feel that you take the damage in a very unspecific way. Also, did you only rear in watching her come in, or are you still rearing when she hits? That would put you in a very unbalanced state, and probably knock you over from sheer force. Remember, if you say you do something (eg. rear), you must also state clearly when you stop rearing.
- 1| Defense: bitten ear. I think that relocating it to the ear is a bad move in this case, as ears are very sensitive (less so than the neck), and you mention nothing but a little bit of bleeding. Does it not hurt? Wouldn't it be a good reaction to clamp it to your neck, to keep it from being hurt again? Does some little piece of it come loose?
- 1| Attack: bite towards the eye. This is a good kind of attack, but there are multiple issues with it. Usually, a "blow" would be considered coming from a hoof, and not the teeth, which is just a minor terminology issue, however given the lack of specification aside from "white teeth bared" it could be misinterpreted. Then there's the issue of where you aim. Left eye? Right eye? And then, the biggest issue: is Azzaron just standing there, somehow with Kri's head magically in reach? Given the way she's coming down (I have not read ahead, so I do not know what she'll do), she'll probably have a lot of momentum to run off, if she goes down on the ground at all, but you do not even mention "trying to get close to her so I could bite her eye" or something. Again, a great attack, but the circumstances are just all wrong.
- 1| Borderline powerplay. Here's the problem with wanting to deal a lot of damage, and your opponent ending a tricky position, and not knowing where they are, thus creating a borderline powerplay situation. You're assuming that Kri is on the ground, which could be entirely incorrect.
0| Attack: pawing at her. Even if the fact that you're assuming Kri is standing still had not been an issue, this attack is not specific enough. "Fack, neck or shoulder" is a very broad area, nor do you specify left or right, or in which way you are facing her. Perpendicular? Head on? Great that you think to defend your own belly though, that's the reason this is just 0. :)
+ 1| Attack: bucking at her. The only reason you get the +1 for this is that the left/right/positioning issue was a fault of your previous attack, and not this one, as it would've been pretty obvious which side/general area you were kicking at.. if you'd stated it to begin with.
[Prose]
+ 1| Ease of read.
0| Flow: this post had very choppy sentences, with no smooth transitions.
+ 1| Emotion, but I was on the verge of considering it too "dry" for it. However, I think I feel something.
KRI -- post 2
[Realism]
+ 1| Attack: wing towards face.
0| Defense: from what I gather, if you slap him with your right wing, you're passing on his left side. This means that if you tuck your head to the right, you'll only bring it closer to his teeth. Great that you relocate it to your shoulder, though, and that's the reason for the 0.. though you could've mentioned some pain.
0| Attack: kick towards face. I assume that it's her right hindleg kicking, but it should've been mentioned.
+ 1| Defense: not landing to be pawed at.
+ 1| Defense: not landing to be kicked.
- 1| Attack: trying to push him over, hooves to his hip. Great attack given the circumstances, but if I trace Kri's written path, she's facing the same direction as before, as she just arced back in a circle. When Azzaron kicks, he specifically mentions turning around, which means that Kri is actually approaching from his front. Nor am I quite sure you actually have enough time to arc back and go at him again before he's done charging and bucking, because I believe it'd take a shorter time for him to finish that, than it would for Kri to flip back through the air. I'm not quite sure on how close you intended to be, but a buck is a lot swifter than often portrayed in text, as seen here. Within the space of 1 second, the white pony has done one one-leg kick and full buck towards the brown. I think that your attack is stretching the time unrealistically.
[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion.
+ 1| Flow.
0| Ease of read: I actually find that in this post too, you chop some of your moves up a bit too much for me to follow clearly. " I slam down with my right wing toward his moving face.." and then there's a great deal many sentences of being bitten, etc, and then you mention it again, " I throw the chocolate limb with..." which kind of skewers the timeline. It would've been better to say, "I hoped I had thrown...", it would make it flow better and not be like jumping between the times. Same with this, "I do not return to the earth, nor do I stop. With just a slim drag on my momentum as my grey hooves skirt across the surface of the stallion's neck, I move forward, my wings driving forward..." which is like going back to before the entire previous paragraph with the hooves + neck time reference, instead of just continuing where you left off.
AZZARON -- post 2
[Realism]
- 1| Defense: I am very doubtful Azzaron has enough time to dodge Kri's wing, given the fact that he just bit her shoulder, and that she is using the Swift buff. Even so, I don't see how being hit by a wing could "nick" Azzaron's skin. And, where does it hit? Head? Neck?
- 1| Defense: I think your dodge of Kri's kick was very under-explained, and I do not really understand how it happened.
- 1| Defense: There's a certain rhythm to fights. Attack, counter-attack. You had already committed to a charge and a buck in your previous post, which means that they still stand, regardless of what Kri does. What Kri does, is a counter-attack of your attack. Which means that your attempt to change your buck to something else is breaking the fight mechanics, regardless of my opinion of the time frame. Given the fact that Azzaron would be in the middle of a buck, that he'd be able to slide to the side so easily is extremely unrealistic. Besides, he is standing still, meaning it'll take even longer for him to actually move.
- 1| Attack: bite to the face. Although the whole "which side?" applies to this as well, my biggest issue is that you first say, "In an instant I slip towards the side, watching as Kri flew by." and then, "I tried yet again to bite her face.". How can you bite her face if she has already flown past? And if you'd tried even before she was past, you definitely would've got her wing in your head or something. ;)
- 2| Powerplay: "Her chocolate figure is there, but I'm behind her where she cannot see me. (..) Once I was upon her..." You cannot decide whether or not Kri sees you, nor can you decide that you actually catch up with her. You can only attempt to catch up with her. Also, as a note, first you stated, ".. and I curve back to face Kri..", which gives me the impression she's behind of you, and then suddenly you are behind of her.
+ 1| Attack: hooves towards Kri's back.
[Prose]
0| Emotion: this post is pretty mechanical, and it makes it dry. The "I" perspective easily fools me into thinking there is emotion, but upon looking closer, it doesn't go beyond stating "I'm angry", never describing the feeling of his emotions.
0| Flow: again, your sentences are rather choppy.
+ 1| Ease of read.
KRI -- post 3
[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: flying past his bite.
- 1| Defense: While I think this is a truly unique defense, and very clever, I feel as if the motion she does would effectively put her vertical in the air. If she'd use her wings as brakes, she'd turn the broad into the airflow and brake the fore half of her body. meaning that momentum would probably swing her hind end forward, making her head go up. So I feel like with the timing, she'd really be getting his (hind?) hooves or legs or something in her head. In flight, you rotate around your center of gravity, which I assume would be the chest area of a horse, and as there is no friction to stop her hind legs she'd rotate around the chest, and at the other end of that is that she'd be bringing her head up.
+ 1| Attack: dropping down towards Azzaron's neck.
[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion.
+ 1| Flow.
+ 1| Ease of read. This post was paced a lot better time-wise.
AZZARON -- post 3
[Realism]
+ 1| Attack: magic.
- 1| Defense: one does not simply "fling" themselves through the air. You have nothing to push off, and with how vague you already are in regards to how you're positioned in the air ("I speed up, angling my wings so I began to shoot towards the sky." implies that you're climbing rapidly), it's not just realistic to dart to the side like that. Azzaron is a lot larger than Kri, and this means that his turning radius is bigger, and the force he needs to generate in order to move greater, as he's got a bigger mass to haul around. With the speed of Kri being almost at a freefall, I don't see how he can just escape without even being hit by her wings, because the way you have written it it does not make sense for him to avoid it.
0| Attack: hooves towards ribs. Which side?
0| Attack: biting eye. Which side? And as a note, there is no "reeling backwards" either, as birds generally do not fly backwards. Even if Azzaron can (not sure what the policy is on this), he'd first need to brake his forward momentum, and then reverse. Flying backwards would be a lot slower, due to wings not being made for it.
[Prose]
0| Emotion: again, "I am angry", but nothing which makes me feel the anger. Use language to describe it! Make me get angry, too!
0| Flow, the style is still choppy.
+ 1| Ease of read.
KRI -- post 4
[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: great way to fight down the magic. 30 seconds, which it lasts, is a long time, but as Azzaron did not specify how long he kept waiting for Kri to fall out of the sky, I guess that's okay.
+ 1| Defense: rising up to avoid his hooves, glancing blow.
- 1| Defense: no mention of his attempted bite?
+ 1| Attack: kicking out towards his back in passing.
[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion.
+ 1| Flow.
+ 1| Ease of read.
AZZARON -- post 4
[Realism]
- 1| Attack sequence: I have no idea what you are doing here. Repeating your previous attack? It looks like it, but then you throw in another movement. In terms of fight mechanics, this is, again, an attack you have already committed to (unless I misunderstand it entirely), yet to try to alter it. This does not work. Even so, you can't just "whip around" in the air either, like you can in water. Air has minimal friction, and if you're going forward in a rush, as you describe, you can't easily reverse your motion. If anything, you'd just barrel into Kri unless she moved.
+ 1| Injury: taking the kick to his back.
- 1| Attack: slap towards her. Wing slap? Where to? I don't understand. Technically you've passed beneath her. Where are you now? And again, a horse flying backwards would be extremely slow, and it would be very tiring, and not bring you out of range quickly.
- 2| Powerplay: "I'm in her blind spot, and I glance down, seeing the shadows." You cannot decide this. All Kri would need to see Azzaron would be to move her head slightly.
- 1| Attack: trying to scrape his hooves along her. Your attack would only make sense if Kri was in a dive, as if you're falling like this, you have no chance to stop your momentum to suddenly fly across her back, as you have not mentioned leveling out.
0| Attack: kick towards the head. A good attack, but it makes no sense at all given that he'd realistically not be near her head.
+ 1| Attack: magic.
[Prose]
0| Emotion: this post was just confusing. One moment Azzaron describes himself as angry, and in the next, "happy", yet I felt neither.
+ 1| Flow. This post was not as choppy as the others.
+ 1| Ease of read.
KRI -- post 5 (defense only)
[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: bite to shoulder. Originally you missed this, but as Azzaron for some reason repeated/added to his attack, which makes no sense, this makes no sense either, but because it wasn't a fault on your part the second time around you'll get the point for it. Nor will I take off for ignoring the kick, because it was a breach of fight mechanics to begin with.
+ 1| Defense: arcing away. With her smaller size, as well as Swift buff and preparing for the movement, I believe it's plausible she escape his dive, as a dive is hard change the aim of once you're committed. The difference between this dodge and Azzaron's similar one is that this one was planned, and executed in a way that makes sense in the air, with it being described as an arc to the side, and not just "flinging" sideways.
+ 1| Defense: using magic and altitude to battle the effect of Azzaron's magic.
KRI
[Bonus]
+ 2| Breed: you consider their differences, use the adjectives, very aware of your own size, wondering if your misses are because of your short legs etc.
+ 2| Surroundings: the air, using altitude to grow colder, the sun on your back.
[Injuries]
0| Nothing of note.
[Creativity]
+ 1| Sentence: "I must prevail. I have no option but to raise my sword once more, fighting valiantly until I make his feathered arse say uncle. I am stubborn. I am willful. I am strong. I am resolute."
+ 1| Tactic: using the shadows cast by the sun to see his location.
Comments: Good fight! I think you did well, given that you were often given very vague attacks to react to. Kri's emotional presence is wonderful, and she cracks me up frequently. You had no real problems, the only things I reacted to were a few attacks/defenses where I thought it didn't really fit situationally, and the first two posts in which I felt you placed some things a little oddly prose-wise, though that got a lot better in the rest. On the whole, you have a good grasp on how to behave in the air, though sometimes it can't hurt to think things through one more time and consider all forces working on you. Keep up the good work!
AZZARON
[Bonus]
+ 2| Surroundings: the sun heating you up, casting shadows, etc.
- 2| Godmoding: excessive and unrealistic dodging.
[Injuries]
0| Nothing of note.
[Creativity]
0| Nothing of note.
Comments: You had fairly recurring problems throughout this fight. Vague descriptions lacking details on positioning (how you moved to where you are, how you face your opponent, which side you are on), a disregard of the other player's free will (multiple incidents of powerplay, assuming it moves in a way), excessive dodging, not acknowledging injuries or describing them properly, and not a good grasp on aerial movement, or how a body in flight would realistically behave. I suggest you take more time in writing each battle post, try to sit down and visualize what you are wanting to achieve, and then blank your mind and read the post. Does it achieve this? Does it detail how you move, to where, how you attack or defend? Does it seem plausible, within the time frame given, and how the other has moved?
You also need to consider fight mechanics, and I suggest that you back down to one new attack per post, meaning you'll react (defend or counter) to your opponent's move, and then make one attack of your own. This might give you a firmer grip on the mechanics of a fight. You can actually see that Kri largely did only one attack per post.
Keep practicing! If you want to get better, I suggest asking for someone to do teaching spars with you.
TOTAL
Kri - 76
Azzaron - 45
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Image Credit: dirkjankraan @ Flickr
Oh, Kri will be banishing him for safe measure. ^^
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[COMPLETE] fight the flames if you dare [Kri challenge]
