Cool air brushed against my face, allowing me to stray far from whatever reality I found here within Helovia. At times I was content to travel alone, but today I decided that Aylin was more than welcome to join my endeavors towards absolution. She was no more the worse for wear considering she had no idea what concepts lurked behind my hooded gaze, but maybe she would come along willingly. At that, I began to move into the field knowing that her footsteps would be soon to follow. Call it confidence or arrogance, but I was pretty content in my abilities to judge mares. That’s not to say that I did it often, no, I was completely and irrevocably in love with Tamira… but I had to learn somehow right?

Turning on my heel, I came face to face with the steely colored girl. In truth, she was a delectable looking creature but of course, I’m sure she already knew that. However, I couldn’t be the one to indulge her even if I’d wanted to… I had too much at stake. Instead, I smiled warmly at her in hopes that she wouldn’t notice the wars being waged inside my mind. “Join me to see the midnight show then. No formalities required- we’ll make a day of it.” Had I gone crazy or was I just looking for reasons to let loose? Whatever it was, I was more than willing to drag someone down with me; life was too short after all.

Reaching down into the tall grasses, I wrapped tender lips around the stem of a particularly dark flower. It was not dark in the sense of morbidity, but the deep red of its petals reminded me of blood. To me it represented life, love, passion… I wanted to live by those terms and maybe one day I would. But until then, I would settle for the heartache of not knowing. I wasn’t sure where I stood with Tamira or with my herd, but I hoped that one day it would all come together and make sense. But it wasn’t going to happen right here in this moment and so I lifted the flower to Aylin’s flawless ivory threads and worked the bloom into her roots. Once I was satisfied with my handiwork, I stepped away to admire the lovely contrast of crimson against her alabaster clad nape… I hoped she didn’t mind that I’d taken it upon myself to dress her in my misplaced affections.

“Would you look at that? It looks even better than I thought.” Where was I going with this?

Was it so shocking that I might ask for company to view the light show? I tried to contain the smile that followed Aylin’s surprise. She looked as though she’d seen a ghost or at least been told some pretty shocking news. However, her acceptance didn’t come as a shock to me. I had no intentions of making her so thoroughly uncomfortable that she should turn me down, I just wanted to get to know her a bit. Was that such a sin? “I intent to have you home and well directly after so don’t worry, I’d just like to know those who follow me… and give them a reason to want to do so.”

I glanced back to the flower in her pale threads and wondered what such a flower would look like weaved into Tamira’s flaxen mane. I could only imagine how beautiful she would look and how perfectly she would wear it… However, the thought brought an ache to my chest and I dismissed it immediately. I did not want to falter before the young filly and allow her to benefit of finding my weakness. I did not want her to think that I was not strong enough to lead the Edge (alongside Mirage of course). Thinking of the Dragonheart, I wondered if she was doing well with the twins, though I had no doubt in her capabilities. I could only imagine what it would be like to raise two young fillies like Essetia. She was certainly a handful herself which only made me miss her more when we were apart. At times I longed for her distraction and jubilance.

As the day passed before us, I spent most of the time snatching at the rich grasses of the field and occasionally glancing at Aylin to make sure she hadn’t run off while I wasn’t looking. She had been weary in accepting the small bloom that now colored her nape in a bloody red- had I been wrong to give it to her? “Tell me something about yourself. I was hoping that I could come to know those in the Edge that are still as unfamiliar to me as you appear to be. I don’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable if in fact I’ve done so. I’m just having trouble finding where my duties end and where my personal life begins. Forgive me for the confusion- I’m still quite new to this.” I winked happily at her, hoping she would ease in my presence after such a tense beginning.

This was, after all, the first time I’d ever been able to lead anyone other than myself. Mirage had had many years of practice to perfect her technique so I had a lot of catching up to do in the meantime. I wanted to get it right and I intended to do so, even if it killed me (at least figuratively so).

OOC|| Well... this didn't come out as well as I'd hoped. X.x

Aylin looked a bit confused at my words and I wondered if I’d offended her yet again. I really couldn’t get far with those of the opposite sex- they had a special way of avoiding me when it came to chivalry, but I guess as many would say, it’s dead. So instead of trying to comprehend her confusion or the way her ‘brow knitted at my words, I turned away in order to study the various specks of colored petals in the distance. It was certainly a beautiful day and I was going to try to make the best of it, even if it killed me.

I was glad that dusk was finally falling over us in spite of the endings it would bring. I still felt as if I knew too little of this girl, while I on the other hand, sat and poured out my bleeding heart. I guess I was bit too emotional when it came to social happenings, but her opinion mattered to me. However, as we grazed together, occasionally finding the time to acknowledge one another’s presence, I found that it was becoming increasingly hard to gain any real insight on her, except that she was reserved. Sometimes I wished for such attributes, as in, I thought it would be more helpful to be the strong silent type instead of the incessant weepy type. Though, I really guess it all depended on the day and the situation. I tended to go back and forth between bi-polar and just plain manic.

I often told myself that Tamira had something to do with it, but I could never be certain. Though, I could recall being quite valiant just a year ago… and not so unsure.

“I guess I can say that I feel the same. I keep waiting for her, wanting more than anything to see the Goddess in which I serve… But as we now have something in common, I’ve yet to be graced with her company.” I was a bit miffed when it came to the Goddess of the Moon because I’d yet to know much about her, other than hearsay and abandoned tales of her divinity. One day I hoped that she would prove my doubts to be ignorant, but until then, I would live without her like Aylin.

However, it wasn’t long before thoughts of my faith were forgotten in favor of the grey girl’s sudden approach at conversation. Though, I can’t honestly say that I knew how to reply. I’d only ever seen Aikith and Kiba and while they were special in and of their own accord, they were only novel for those who could understand them (which was obviously not me). I pondered what it must have been like for a little Aylin to spend most of her waking hours with a common Dragon to keep her company. Where were her parents; and what did they do that they were unable to keep a watchful eye over their daughter? I didn’t have room to question and instead nodded slowly as if I understood. “I suppose you shared a special bond with such a creature? I’ve never really understood the kind of connection that Mirage holds with Aikith, but I would like to know one day… if indeed that day ever comes.”

I thought about what it would be like to find the other half of myself, because that’s what they were- the other half to a creature’s whole. One did not fight without the other, one did not grieve without the other, and one did not love without the other. I wanted to feel that power and I wanted to connect with something in that way, even if I had to wait an eternity. However, before losing myself completely to the idea of bondmates and otherworldly blasphemy, I absentmindedly turned to face Aylin who now returned my curious gaze. Her words were soft and quiet and as shocking as it sounds- encouraging. I smiled warmly at her before once again succumbing to the doubt that often inhibited my reign. “I hope so.”

”