the Rift


[JUDGED] Better watch your words || Hestia

Tonka Posts: 87
Hidden Account
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 18 hh :: 6 Buff: NOVICE
Sky
#1
Tonka

It was not Tonka's fault for feeling rage with this mare, but it was her fault. First, she had come and hit him and the ass, then she demands to be put as a general, and finally she gets mad at him for getting mad at her. She was not ready to be a general. Tonka did not have that trust in her that she needed. He now was ready for a spar. He would defiantly not want to fully hurt her, but simply show her what she needed to be if she wanted to become a higher rank. "The reason nobody is a general yet, is because I don't think that anyone's ready yet. And if there was a general, it would be Chemical. And don't act so silly, I would not get mad at you if you lost a spar or failed to recruit a member, maybe disappointed, but not angry." He tried to keep his voice calm, but rage still managed to seep through. His blood was running hot and he closed his eyes, trying to get rid of his anger. When he opened his eyes, the dusty mare was gone. He knew she was still here, maybe up in the sky.

A figure cam crashing to the ground, and it reared up, making a shrilling scream. War, Tonka, war. The mare spoke. He breathed heavily, and was surprised smoke did not flood out of his nostrils with every exhale. "It war is what you want, war is what you will get." His voice now was a bit calmer. The mere thought of having a spar made him relax a bit. It always did. He wanted to get ride of the rage that packed so high in him right now. He lifted his front legs from the ground and tossed his head in the air. A deep whinny released from his maw. The ground under him rattled as his black hooves hit the sand. Tonka was ready.

"You get first move."

WC::334
Setting:: Endless blue
Rounds:: 3 rounds + 1 closing defense
Word Max:: 800
Other:: Magic/Compainons Allowed/ Practice spar/ Contiuned from Here


Hestia Posts: N/A
Unregistered
:: :: ::
#2

HESTIA the fierce
Born of sweetness, turned sour, ventured neutral.

Tonka didn't get it, so I'd beat it into him. I lunge forward at him. He was a large built boy, no baby. I was small. By looking at us, the odds were in his favor, though I think I had the winning chance if you peered into our minds. Tonka was like a big stuffed bear, yet I was the real bear. I threatened to chew your eyes out and scalp you neck. I was vicious, yet small. He was a 17.3 or 18 hand high behemoth slab of meat. Of course, I couldn't help but want to pierce the slab of sweaty meat. In Extmae, he'd be thrown into the pit. No, not a hole in the dirt, but a pit of lava.

I mean, really? What leader of a group gets mad at a member, no, a new member, because she said she wanted to be general. I can't help, but feel sorry for the assassins. It was quite obvious they would seamlessly go nowhere. They'd go nowhere, very fast.

I'm not very good at this thinking biz while I'm at war.

-_*_-_*_-_*_-


Hestia mad.
Hestia angry.
Hestia may no longer be an Assassin.


Hestia eagerly lunged forward and upward. Her wings aiding her in flight. Kicking down below her multiple times, she'd hoped to nick him on his poll. Slowly, she started declining her elevation to the ground. She kicked out hard with her hind legs hopping to square him in the ass. If he didn't move, she most likely hit every spot she aimed. This attack was pretty weak and she knew she had to step it up, a lot.

"Talk Talk Talk"
Summary - 1/4 Attacks - 0/- Magic uses - 0/- Companion Uses
Injuries - None.
Mood - Pissed and angry




Tonka Posts: 87
Hidden Account
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 18 hh :: 6 Buff: NOVICE
Sky
#3
Tonka

Rage flowed from his veins. Blood pumped hot from his chest and eagerness overwhelmed him. He needed a good spar, for he had not had one in quite a long time. Nostrils flared as he locked his eyes onto Hestia, studying every move she dared to make. He was impatient, waiting for her to make her first move. His heart was racing not from being exhausted, but from the excitement. He lifted his left front leg and hit it on the sandy ground, making the earth rumble underneath him. The night sky above him sheeted him in a blanket of darkness. He was ready.

Before he knew it, Hestia was up in the air. Her legs extended, hitting him square on the head. Shit! God damn it! Pain flowed threw his veins making him more eager to kick her sorry ass. Blood slightly trickled down his massive head and traveled down his neck. A tan figure came to the ground with a small thud. Her back legs thrashed, trying to hit Tonka right in the rump. The brute quickly moved to the right, avoiding her attempt. A sly smile crept onto his handsome face.

Now it was his turn...

He darted forwards, aiming to hit Hestia with his horn on her left side. If his hit succeeded then it would cause a small gash on her side. He did not want to hurt her, but simply put her in her place. His neck extended, as he opened his maw to try to grab a clump on flesh from the left side of her neck. He then scurried to stand right in front of her, the turned his body around. His back legs kicked up sand, and he hoped that the little particles would get in her crimson orbs. If this move worked, it would cause her discomfort ad maybe even blind her for a couple of seconds. He still had one more strike. If the sand trick worked, then this would be perfect. He kicked out again, this time not flinging sand at her. His back legs aimed for her chest and lower neck. He turned his body once again, his face just a hair away from hers. His heart raced from adrenaline, his nostrils flaring from exhaustion. Blood still trickled down his neck, mixing with salty sweat. The darkness surrounded the two, wind slightly whistled as it pasted through his course mane and tail cooling his steaming body. It was Hestia's turn now, and he got ready to dodge.

Sum:: Gets hit in the head by Hestia. Dodges her attempt to hit his butt XD. Tonka attempts to strike her with his horn on the left side. He tried to bite the left side of her neck. Tonka kicks up sand, hoping to get it in her eyes. He kicks out, hoping to strike her chest or lower section of her neck.
Attack:: 1/3
Defence:: 0/1


Hestia Posts: N/A
Unregistered
:: :: ::
#4

HESTIA the fierce
Born of sweetness, turned sour, ventured neutral.

So as always, when he didn't move as my hooves smacked him in the head, I grinned eerily. I landed swiftly with a thud after hitting his head. My cold wet hooves glistened against the moon's light. Looking at my hooves I see the tips of my rounded hooves are tinted eerily red. I had nicks and scars over my body from my long and brutal history. I was trained well, though I know I have much room to improve. With the correct training, I could be a very good warrior.

Quickly, I flick my head around to see him charging at my ass. My ears pin flat against my skull. That bitch wasn't touching me if I had anything to do with it. Swiftly and easily, I side step to the right, away from him. The tip of his horn manges to scrap the top few layers of skin, removing fur and showing raw skin. He the turns his head towards me and attempts to bite my neck. Reared up, she takes the bite to her left shoulder, instead of her neck. I feel no blood yet it stings very much. My conclusion is that slight blood was drawn, but not enough for it to trail over my thick fur. I knew one thing, I had to get out of close quarters. I'd never been to good at close quarter fights, for my wings were bulky, and gifted me limited mobility. So, I side stepped a step away from him, unfurled my wings, and blasted my self into the air with a few strokes. I didn't realize it, but him throwing sand around like a kitty was not accidental, an attack. Secretly, I felt I was going to win.

Despite our size difference.

-_*_-_*_-_*_-


Rake my innocence away.
Toss my dignity into the wind.
Hone my skills hideous animal.


Hidden with the cloak of night upon her shoulders, she acted. She circled around in the air until she was most likely behind him, unless he moved. The mare disappeared into the star shattered sky quickly, but not for long. She extended her wings fully and tilted down to the sand. With no second thought, she was catapulted towards where she assumed Tonka was. She was aiming for the middle of his spinal chord. The well oiled machine braced her legs and kept her ears pinned, hard.

Prepare for impact.

"Talk Talk Talk" Think think think!
Summary - 2/3 Attacks - 0/- Magic uses - 0/- Companion Uses
Injuries - Scrape on left hip, small cut on left shoulder. Sand attack had no effect.
Mood - Pissed and angry.




Tonka Posts: 87
Hidden Account
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 18 hh :: 6 Buff: NOVICE
Sky
#5
Tonka

An indescribable since of pleasure came across him as he felt my horn slightly dig into her sink. That was a success, maybe not the results he was hoping for, but a success. Tonka's bite also was a success. Although he did not bite her in the neck, as she reared up, his teeth sank into the flesh of her shoulder. Although his two other attempts had failed, he was happy with the two that had not.

It was time to black and dodge her attacks. The sandy mare darted towards the sky once more, leaving the unicorn stallion on the ground, looking up at her and trying to make out her figure in the dark sky. He grunted as he could not make out her figure in the faint light of the moon. Navy blue eyes looked down at the sand as one ear twitched forward and the other stayed to the side. He listened for the sound of the wind whistling against her body. Of course, Tonka could not hear the eerie sound. He looked up and realized he did not have enough time to move so got ready to feel the impact on his back. His eyes clenched shut as his ears pinned against his skull. Pain rushed through his body as he felt the tough hooves push against his back. His blood grew hot and he grunted with distress. It hurt like hell! God damn it, you wouldn't know such a little horse had so much power until you sparred with one! There was no way that he would let this little bitch beat him!

He stood there for a second, unable to move. The pain soon slightly faded a bit and now it was Hestia's turn to feel his hooves against her skin. He was now facing her, towering a full 4 hands over her. He reared up and released a thundering neigh that was so loud, it could be have been heard all the way in the Frozen Arch. He aimed his hooves to strike down on her right wither. This attack would not only hurt her wither, but possibly her wing too. His body swung around, his legs rising from the ground and his dark hooves aiming right for the middle section on her neck. He turned around and once again, he got ready to block.

Sum:: Gets hit in the back by Hestia. He rears up, aiming for his hooves to land on her right wither, and possibly wing. He swings around and kicks hoping to hit her in the mid section of her neck.
Attack:: 2/3
Defense:: 0/1


Hestia Posts: N/A
Unregistered
:: :: ::
#6

HESTIA the fierce
Born of sweetness, turned sour, ventured neutral.

I could feel my monster being sated for now. Tonka's skills were rough and not very rounded. It was easy to draw blood than the horses that trained in Extmae. Furthermore, I wanted to win this, for if I didn't, it'd be a great shame. Luckily, I think I had a good set of attacks in line for the large horse.

As we stand face to face, Tonka rears up. He attempts to hit my shoulder or my wings. Snarling at him I recoil my body away from his hooves, but he still manages to brush against my right wing. Bruises will be evident, but no cuts will. One or two feathers fall to the ground. Before I know it, he turns and bucks out trying to kick my neck. Unfortunately for him, I rear up and let his hooves hit my chest. A cocky smile develops over me. Good, I loved bruises and pain. It gave me motive to kill in my next fight. So, Tonka wasn't the smartest for just putting his butt infront of my empty jaws. A jolt of raw and pure hate flickered through my veins.

I want to go out with a bang.

-_*_-_*_-_*_-


Oh, you stupid beast.
You are worth nothing.
I am worth all your skills, hideous animal.


My steel gaze fell upon his rump. Opening my mouth, I lunge forward at him hoping to hit the top of his ass on the spine. Then I shook my head wildly hoping I'd caught onto him and then shook a hunk of his fur and skin off, leaving him bleeding profusely.

"Talk Talk Talk" Think think think!
Summary - 3/3 Attacks - 0/1 Defense - 0/- Magic uses - 0/- Companion Uses
Injuries - Scrape on left hip, small cut on left shoulder. Sore right wing. Sore mid-chest.
Mood - Pissed and angry.



[/quote]

Tonka Posts: 87
Hidden Account
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 18 hh :: 6 Buff: NOVICE
Sky
#7
Tonka

Joy rushes through Tonka's massive body as his hooves hit down on Hestia's wing. A grim smile came to his soft maw. Obviously, this strike to her wing was not hard enough to break any bones, but it was forceful enough to possibly make it hard for her to fly. A single feather dropped from where she stood. Tonka's other blow was also a success. As the tiny mare reared, the large brute's hooves struck her right in the chest. He had not felt this much please in a long time. He did not like Hestia that much and giving her pain was a delight to him.

His blue orbs feel upon her crimson ones. He gave her a hard glare and hate began to flood through his body. His blood was ready to boil and he stamped the ground sending a puff of sand up from where his hoof hit. The sound of waves filled his ears, making him a bit more calm. This spar had been fun, but the end was near and Tonka knew that he maybe would apologize to her about his behavior and about him getting mad over the smallest thing.

Before Tonka even knew it, a burning pain came to him rump. He winced as pain flooded his back end and he looked back to see Hestia biting his rump, leaving a chuck of his fur and flesh missing. Blood poured out of the cut, and Tonka could feel rage rising in his body. Oh, he would get her back, and he would get her good.

Turning his body to look into her red orbs, his neck extended and his jaw opened. He reached out to grab her left shoulder, hoping to grasp her flesh and rip it off, like she did to him. He back up then galloped over to Hestia, aiming his horn to scrape her right leg.

This was the end of the fighting. Now, it was time for Hestia to block the steed's attacks.

Sum:: Tonka gets bitten by Hestia on the rump. He attempts to bite her on left shoulder. He tries to scrape her right leg with his horn.
Attack:: 3/3
Defense:: 0/1


Hestia Posts: N/A
Unregistered
:: :: ::
#8

HESTIA the fierce
Born of sweetness, turned sour, ventured neutral.

I figured our fight was coming to an end. We both were sweating hard, and I knew my attention was strong, yet a little less strong as when we started. I wanted to win. I needed to win. It was no longer a battle against my leader. Since this fight was nearing an end, I'd block his attacks with all my energy. I wouldn't lose to this goof. It was not like I was mean or anything, no, I was a stern mare. I was driven on a constant lust. This battle would not keep me sated for long.

I feel the resistance of Tonka's skin, and I manage to rip all seven layers of his tough skin. Giving a crooked smile, his skin completely rips off in my mouth. I taste the metallic blood from his veins in my mouth. I spit his now rotting skin into the sand at his feet.

-_*_-_*_-_*_-


I so won that one.
Don't deny it.


Beforeshe realizes it, Tonka's is acting again.

Hestia sees him turning and snarls at him. Once he is finally turned around, she was ready. The cocky siren recoiled her body to the right, away from his bite, then she went back to normal once he retreated. Without realizing he had another attack, she couldn't really act. His horn cuts her inner left knee. Blood starts to slowly meander down her leg and drip off her hock onto the sand, dying it crimson red. Slowly, the siren backed up so she was five feet away from his.

The siren was positive this was now over. They could now go back to conversing regularly. "Good fight, Tonka. I have much to learn, yet I have already improved." Giving him a slight wink, the fight was over.

Think think think!
Summary - 3/3 Attacks - 1/1 Defense - 0/- Magic uses - 0/- Companion Uses
Injuries - Scrape on left hip, small cut on left shoulder. Sore right wing. Sore mid-chest. Small scrape on inner left knee.
Mood - Pissed and angry.




Official Posts: 847
Administrator
Stallion :: Equine :: ::
Official
#9


H e s t i a | T o n k a
- - - - -
By my verdict TONKA is the winner.
Tonka receives 1 VP.

HESTIA -- post 1 (attack only)

[Realism]
- 1| Attack: Kicking out at Tonka's poll. I do not believe Hestia has enough time to get airborne and fly over Tonka's head. Earlier in the post, Hestia mentions lurching forward toward him. Tonka is nearly 16 inches taller than Hestia. A split second and small distance is not enough time to allow for Hestia to put 7 feet between her and the ground.
+ 1| Attack: Kicking out toward his rump. Positioning inherited from the former attack.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Easy Read
0 | Flow: Grammatical and spelling errors ruined the flow of this post, and made it choppy to read.

TONKA -- post 1

[Realism]
0 | Injury: Kick to the head. There is no mention of cognitive disorientation that would go with a blow to the head. Have you ever been kicked by a horse? It would do a lot more than give you a cut if they hit you in the skull!
+ 1| Defense: Side-stepping right to avoid the kick.
- 1| Attack: Horn to the left side. This is all well and good, but "side" is too broad of a target. The main reason I am counting off, however, is Hestia kicks for his ASS, which means she is facing him rump to rump, and you write Tonka as running forward. This is basically running away from Hestia and not toward her. Don't forget to turn around!
- 2| Powerplay: "If his hit succeeded then it would cause a small gash on her side." -- You may not determine how severe an injury is, regardless of if you make the hit avoidable. Only your opponent can decide how they take damage.
+ 1| Attack: Bite to the neck. Positioning inherited.
- 1| Borderline Powerplay: "He then scurried to stand right in front of her..." -- You may only attempt to stand in front of your opponent, but you may not dictate that you definitely will. For instance, Hestia has wings, so she could clothes-line him and keep him from passing her side.
+ 1| Attack: Tonka uses SAND ATTACK. It may possibly be effective!
0 | Sidenote: "If this move worked, it would cause her discomfort ad maybe even blind her for a couple of seconds." -- This I didn't count as powerplay because it's sort of a given sand in your eye is uncomfortable, and you put maybe in front of the blinding.
+ 1| Attack: Kick toward the chest.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Easy Read
+ 1| Flow

HESTIA -- post 2

[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: Sidestep to the right to lessen the horn strike. No mention of pain, but the scrape described doesn't appear to be damaging to much except hair follicles.
+ 1| Defense: Rearing up to redirect the bite to the left shoulder.
- 1| Defense: Flying to get out of the range of the dirt. The reason I am counting off, again, is because you seem to assume that taking off (from a stand still, even) is a split second action. Sidestepping would be about the same amount of time as Tonka kicking up the dust, but for you to have completely cleared away into the air? I don't think so.
0 | Attack: Kick? to the back. The reason I did not award a point here is because you mention locking legs, but you fail to specify which set of legs you're attacking with. I'm assuming the front; still, it's never clearly dictated.

[Prose]
+ 1| Easy Read
0 | Flow: The switching of perspectives mid-paragraph disrupted the overall flow. See here: "He the turns his head towards me and attempts to bite my neck. Reared up, she takes the bite to her left shoulder, instead of her neck. I feel no blood yet it stings very much."
0 | Emotion: Mechanical for the majority of the post.


TONKA -- post 2

[Realism]
+ 1| Injury: Hooves to the back.
- 2| Powerplay: Hestia never states that she lands, yet you assume she does. Plus, you states that you are facing her, which you can only attempt to place Tonka there.
+ 1| Attack: Rearing toward the right side of her withers. I did not want to double penalize you, since I counted off for her still being airborne for powerplay. Inheriting that position, this would be an okay attack.
0 | Attack: Kicking for the middle of her neck. This attack assumes hugely that Hestia is at a standstill, when Tonka would be much slower to turn around than she would to move forward. I believe you should have stated your aim less specifically.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
0 | Flow: Glaringly obvious grammatical and spelling errors riddled throughout detracted a lot from my focus during this post. Always proofread for those obvious ones!
+ 1| Easy Read

HESTIA -- post 3

[Realism]
0 | Defense: Recoiling away from the rear, redirecting the strike to her right wing. Unfortunately, I think the wing is much more delicate than you would write it here. There is also no mention of pain.
- 1| Defense: Rearing to evade a kick. Without forewarning, a rear would take more time than a flash of a kick. You also fail to mention pain or the extent of the injury.
- 1| Attack: Bite to the ass. Tonka is, again, much taller than Hestia. I do not believe should could bite on his spine, without being airborne. Plus, Tonka clearly says he turns around after his kick.

[Prose]
+ 1 | Easy Read
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Emotion

TONKA -- post 3

[Realism]
- 1| Borderline Powerplay: "...hard enough to break any bones, but it was forceful enough to possibly make it hard for her to fly." -- Hestia's post does not illustrate this. Stop trying to make your opponent's injury seem worse than it is. We do not award many points (if any) for the least injured, so there is no need to force damage on your opponent.
0 | Injury: Bite to the rump. You should not have taken this bite on the rump if you knew you were facing the opposite way. It was vague on the exact location, but fine otherwise.
+ 1| Attack: Bite toward the left shoulder.
0 | Attack: "Backing up" and then galloping over to try to slash Hestia's legs. You are vague on "backing up". It seems to me you put a lot of distance between Hestia and Tonka, but this set of words suggests a few minor steps. I think you would need more room than that to work up to a gallop, much less lower your head to strike legs.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy Read

HESTIA -- Closing defense
[Realism]
- 1| Borderline Powerplay: "We both were sweating hard..." -- Tonka says nothing about sweating, much less hard, since the first post. I would not assume any state of your opponent that would make them seem physically exhausted when they are not.
- 1| Borderline Powerplay: "...and I manage to rip all seven layers of his tough skin." -- Tonka never states that it tears through ALL of his skin, just that a piece of flesh is missing. That could be any manner of thickness. Do not place damage that is not clearly stated by your opponent.
+ 1| Defense: Recoiling right to avoid his bite.
0 | Injury: Cut to the inner left knee. The legs are sensitive, and this would be a painful wound. You fail to mention any pain whatsoever.


HESTIA

[Bonus]
+ 1| Breed Differences: You mention this several times, keeping it in mind, and considering it in terms of how it affects the battle. However, you fail to utilize it correctly at times, including the vast difference in height.
+ 1| Surroundings: You mention the surroundings, but never directly use them in your battle.

[Injuries]
+ 1| Least injured

[Creativity]
Nothing of note.

Comments: You typically have a very clean and realistic sense of defending, which I found to aid you a lot in this battle. However, you have a lot to learn about height differences, taking off and landing, as well as responding appropriately. You have a lot of potential for battling, but you need to work on some of the basics. Invest in using a word processor, too! Small grammatical errors can really start to add up and detract from your posts. Taking a few minutes to proofread can help streamline your post, and your judge and opponent won't be distracted by small problems.

TONKA

[Bonus]
+ 1| Breed Differences: You maintain an awareness of the height difference between Hestia and Tonka, but you do not use it to your advantage during this battle.
+ 2| Surroundings: You are mindful of the surroundings, but even better, you used the sand in an attack! I really enjoyed seeing the surroundings take an active role in this fight.

[Injuries]
None.

[Creativity]
Nothing of note.

Comments: Your largest problem in this fight was powerplay! Be extremely careful not to force positioning, injuries, or otherwise on your opponent. Do not dictate what sort of injury attacks will make if they hit. That is entirely up to your opponent, and you do not know how they may move to change your attack's original strength. Allow the judge to determine if they take appropriate damage - it's our job. Other than that, I think you have a good grasp of the basics. However, you made some rookie mistakes that I thought were confusing. For instance, when Hestia bit Tonka's rump, instead of just kicking out, you had Tonka turn around to bite her shoulder. You also took a lot of damage I think you should have avoided. Also, proofread! You had a lot of simple grammatical errors I could have lived without as well. You have a good base but need practice! Keep up the good work.

TOTAL
Hestia - 57
Tonka - 61

Image Credit: dirkjankraan @ Flickr


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