the Rift


toy soldiers. [moved]

Official Posts: 847
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Stallion :: Equine :: ::
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#1
Kri the Resolute
Feb 27, 2012, 12:29pm

The sky reigns over me like any leader should. That massive body, ever present, allows us freedom as well as a place to keep us grounded, in mind at least. My feathers touched it, pulling me through the cloud cover to the field I had become so fond of. The sun poured in over the field, never allowing the cold winter to get a firm grip on its beauty. Cassiopeia, the young mare that I had met here on a day not so long ago, followed behind me. She had been relatively eager to join in the cause, but admitted that she had no formal military training.

Yet, in those bright eyes, I could sense the spirit of a warrior.

The heart was the most important part of battle, despite what many think. It is not your musculature or your magic nor your strategy; it is the valor and ferocity with which you fight. Of course, the former is also important, yet if you have no heart, all of your strength, magic, and strategy will go to waste against a true warrior.

Making a large arch, I bring myself downward toward the fields, gray hooves landing lightly in the taller grass which tickled my sides. I folded my wings and waited for Cassie to catch up and stand by me, waiting for instruction. When she stood at attention, I began to speak, my voice cutting and serious. “This will be a training spar as well as one for evaluation,” the voice stating the purpose. “We are not here to injure each other, so you will have to keep your wits about you.”

My blue eyes take on a mischievous twinkle then, and I smile at her. “Have fun, but stay focused. When I say halt, no more attacks are to be given.”

[ Two paragraph style, 3 posts each, no magic. The setting is in the Heavenly Fields, sunny, no major weather to be reported. I was thinking that you could try a spar with magic with Voltaic later, if you wanted. Blu is better at explaining those things. xP Otherwise, this will just be your typical type spar. c: ]



Cassiopeia
Feb 29, 2012, 12:34pm

Without hesitation the blue roan mare followed, gliding with ease through the frigid winter air. Her massive wings pothered occasionally to keep her elevation as Kri led the way to the Heavenly Fields to begin their spar. Her slender legs were folded neatly beneath her as she flew, and her lengthy silken mane billowed in her wake. Behind her cobalt physique her leonine tail hung freely, swaying back and forth. Cassiopeia had little experience or knowledge when it came to fighting, but she had always wanted to be a warrior. Being a mare, she was not allowed to be a warrior In her homeland. In Valryn, only stallions were permitted fight. It was just another reason she had chosen to leave that dismal place.

When they eventually reached their destination, Cassiopeia arched downward, succeeding Kri as she alighted on the grassy field. The instant her hooves connected with the ground, she began to furl her massive silver wings atop the sweeping contours of her back. As the bay mare explained the purpose of their bring here, Cassiopeia nodded in acknowledge meant, before replying simply: "I understand." She stood mutely for a moment, preparing herself mentally for their spar.



Kri the Resolute
Feb 29, 2012, 3:55pm

With the sun high in the sky, the thin air seemed less chill than the world below the clouds. However, this sunlight could prove to be quite bothersome in a fight should I choose to angle my face wrong, so I tuck this mental note in my brain before I start. Cassiopeia had a serious look upon her young face, one of determination that makes the smile on my face grow larger. There was no need for such staunch behavior, but the gravity of this situation did not escape her. For that, I am glad. Often, younger ones have the tendency to view battle as a carefree game - something they should not look at so light-heartedly. After her agreement, my body sets into motion. I close the gap between us quickly, loosening my wings to push down, lifting my front end up to strike out at her left shoulder gently with my hooves, teeth snapping at her face. And thus, the spar had begun.

My hooves touch the soft ground again, my face turns away from her small, darkened frame. My hooves continue to kick up some soft grass, but my wings are pulsing in preparation for launch. The greatest advantage of a Pegasus, after all, was the beauty of flight. My front hooves lift first, shortly followed by my back hooves which kick out loosely behind me. Kicks were especially dangerous in spars if used with too great of force. In this friendly bout, I want to demonstrate the difference between actual battle and a scuffle with your comrade. Control was essential. If she struck out too harshly toward me, I would only have to lash out more strongly with a barking order to heed her strength. This one, I thought as I sail into the air, would not be so much of a problem. In the sky, I spin easily, wings lightly caressing the smooth air, the wind my home. I hover, almost suspended, in wait. Come, child, my eyes said. Show me what you can do.

[1/3][ 340 Words ]



Cassiopeia
Mar 2, 2012, 7:16pm

The roan maiden felt her muscles stiffen beneath her skin as Kri lunged toward her. As the mahogany mare's hooves collided with her left shoulder, pain shot through her nerves. Thought it didn't break through the skin, a bruise would likely be present tomorrow. As her teeth came lashing toward her face, Cassiopeia's head flung backward, maw tipped to the azure sky while her long, slender neck was erect atop her lean shoulders. Managing to evade the bite, she shifted her weight to her haunches, lifting her fore legs into the air in a sort of half rear while shuffling her aft legs backwards a modest step or two. Her silvern wings partially unfolded in the process, resettling atop the contours of her back as her body became parallel with the earth once again.

As the bay mare bounded away, Cassiopeia aimed to bite her flank, her lean neck outstretched awkwardly for a moment before she quickly regained her poise. As Kri took flight, the blue mistress watched for a brief moment, cyan eyes following her mahogany form as she sailed through the cool atmosphere. She finally decided to follow, picking up a small amount of speed before hoisting her forelimbs into the air, swiftly followed by her hind legs. Her massive wings beat impellently, forcing her cobalt physique upward. She soared with ease through the crisp air before stopping in front of Kri, feathered appendages working to keep her suspended. Then, with a forceful beat of her wings, she lunged toward Kri, attempting to lightly nip her neck. Swerving abruptly to the right, her hind legs lash outward toward the other mare, though lacking a great deal of force.

[ 1/3 ] [ 284 words ]



Kri the Resolute
Mar 3, 2012, 3:47pm

My hooves clip her shoulder, but my teeth grasp just the cool air as I move past Cassiopeia. The slender frame gives way, moving slightly backward even as I continue to push past her, a smile curling upon my lips in content. The start of war drums peeling in my ears, the sound of my heartbeat. Her bite, aimed at my flank, clasps easily, as I had no intention to protect such an area. The teeth clip and pinch my skin as I dart past, causing the capillaries to tear, releasing blood under the surface of my skin - a sizeable bruise tomorrow, perhaps. At the moment, however, it was but a passing sting falling into a dull pain that I could easily ignore. My ears tilt backward, listening for Cassiopeia to follow before I launch myself into the air. I hear no movement until after I have gained altitude, my blue eyes scanning the ground for my opponent. Soon, the sound of delicate feathers in the air as I hover, waiting for the taller girl to catch up to me. A mischievous smirk on my face as she stalls in front of me momentarily - I am not so nice.

I push my wings downward, lifting my body harshly vertical, elevation increasing swiftly. The lung she makes forward toward my former position is almost pointless, except her high aiming nip catches my back right canon, causing a small tear in the skin and pull uncomfortably on the muscle momentarily, the cool air stinging the freshly opened wound. No worries, though, as my body is still rising. Sudden, my bodying shifts in weight, tossing my front end powerfully downward, my back hooves pointed upward instead, wings falling flat on my back to allow me to drop again, curving to bring myself back toward Cassiopeia below. One, two, I count, assuring that I won’t fall too dangerously far as to truly injure my younger, slimmer opponent, and three. Upward I jerk on my wings, righting myself just slightly above her airborne frame, missing her light kick complete due to my aerial maneuver. The sky is my home, I think to myself, as I point my front hooves at her back, propelling forward and passed her - a light graze on her upper barrel, if I’m lucky. My neck curls to the side, so that my teeth may also snap around her ears and neck, though not violently. After all, even as I sail past, a laugh peels from my lips. Practice was just as fun as it was important.

[2/3][ 428 Words ]




Cassiopeia
Mar 5, 2012, 9:59pm

Her initial aerial maneuver had proven useless. The silver dapple had propelled herself upward as the cobalt mare swerved abruptly to the right. Her slender legs lashed out at emptiness, dished hooves colliding with nothing but the crisp, winter air. Frustrated, the blue roan allowed a snort to erupt from her lungs. The bite, however, although originally aimed for her face, had been successful. Ivory teeth clamped down on Kri's right aft cannon and slightly tore the skin which mantled it. She grasped it her mouth, somewhat tugging it downward as the bay mare continued to increase her altitude. By the time Cassiopeia turned to once again look at her opponent, she was already in the air high above her slender frame, decelerating dangerously toward her. Surprised, Cassiopeia shifted her weight forward at seemingly the last second, sailing a small distance through the air in an attempt to evade her attack.

Her hooves missed her body completely, but even so, her teeth manage to pinch the sensitive skin of her ear as she glides by. It stung, but not unbearably so, and it broke no skin. It was nearly automatic for her to twist her head around and aim a nip at her face in response, ears drawn backwards on the peak of her head, though not threateningly. The mare's laughter almost felt like mockery as she soared past her, although a part of her knew this wasn't the case. Cassiopeia pursued her as she flew past, aiming to bite her croup from the left side. She curved her body upward, soaring higher precisely enough so she was just above Kri, and swooped over her back so she was parallel with her on her right side. As she did so, she attempted to kick her in the flank around the same region she had bitten her at the beginning of the spar.


[ 2/3 ] [ 331 words ]



Kri the Resolute
Mar 23, 2012, 3:27pm

Teeth lock on to a bit of skin and pinch as I glide over Cassie’s back. My blue eyes seem to smile, even as I do my best to attack her. Her face reaches around, seeking out my face for retaliation. The forward movement was too quick for the toss of her head to reach mine, however, and she latches on to the blonde threads of my mane. A slight tug at the base, perhaps a few loosed strands, but nothing painful can be mentioned. My laughter peels forth in the air - a jovial sort of sound amidst the din of battle. Teeth snap at the bulky croup, latching on loosely to the muscular bulge of my rump. They slide without catching much traction, producing a heavy snap on my flesh when the teeth fall together. A shrill sting of pain radiates from my backside, causing me to twist my rear away from the roan mare’s offending mouth. I let out a snort of pain, but it seems the fire of the sting is gone in an instant, replacing by the pouring of blood under my skin and a nasty bruise in the morning.

My blue eyes note that the thin mare moves with me, slightly forward, but starting to rise. Not wanting a foreign body above me in the air, I curve off to the left, beginning a roll upward as well, my back facing her barrel. My right wing reaches out toward the ground, while my left bends up toward the sun, rolling through the air easily and softly, even as the roan mare launches a kick toward what would have been my flank. Now the legs flail at air, causing some turbulence for my wings, but no direct damage. Keeping my confident attitude about flight, I hold my body steady, pushing my weight up and over. The barrel roll continues at an even pace, until I am upside down above the space where Cassie would have been, if her path continued straight. My hair dangles downward, possibly tickling her ears, even as I glance downward with girlish, bright eyes, a smirk as I loop my neck to the side in time with my curve, aiming a bite toward the cheek of my opponent. My barrel roll ends when I am at the right side of the roan mare. Kicking out gently to her side, I launch myself at a slight angle away from her. Any catch against her frame I would use to propel myself forward, the bright sun of the Heavenly Fields reflecting my mood. What a beautiful day to go flying.

[3/3][ 437 Words ]



Cassiopeia
Apr 12, 2012, 3:49pm

The roan maiden's ivory teeth clumped shut on a mouthful of Kri's flaxen mane. She managed to pluck out a few of the course, blonde hairs as she abruptly drew back, before aiming yet another bite in the silver dapple's direction. This time her teeth connected with the fleshy region that was her croup, pinching down on the tissue just enough to burst a few of the capillaries within. There was some sort of peculiar accomplished, almost empowering feeling associated with a successful attack, the cobalt mare realized, and she could not help but allow a thin smirk to spread across her charcoal lips as she swooped gracefully over Kri's back. The sensation receded almost as soon as it was composed, when her dished hooves lashed out at nothing but the crisp winter air. A muffled snort of frustration came rushing from her inflated lungs as she arched her neck around to gaze toward her rival, contemplating her best choice of movement as the bay mare sailed with ease through the atmosphere.

Kri began to whirl through the air: a foreign body in the sky above the roan mare's svelte form. It was not a pleasant feeling that was received, but instead one of vulnerability. Cassiopeia's ears jerked backward, listening to the ruffle of feathers gliding through the air higher up. Then, suddenly, surprise constituted within her psyche, as the other mare's teeth greeted her cheek. Her ears flicked backward even farther, as Kri's dished hooves collide with her barrel. It was not the most forceful of kicks, but a morsel of pain still shot through her nerves. No abrasion marred the surface of her hide because of it, but a small bruise would likely form by tomorrow. In response, Cassi aimed to bite her leg as she flew away. The roan attempted to pursue her, feathered appendages working forcefully to propel her slender physique at a swifter pace. She sailed just slightly above Kri, angling her body to the right and making a sweeping motion in that direction, once again lashing out at the bay's flank with her hooves. She continued flying to the right, making a circle in the air before returning to her original position in the sky. She was uncertain how much longer they were to continue the spar. She aimed an inquiring glance toward Kri, wings beating steadily to hold her position amongst the clouds.


[ 3/3 ] [ 406 words ]

Kri the Resolute Posts: 243
Hidden Account
Mare :: Pegasus :: 14.3hh :: 10 Buff: NUMB
Boom Boom!
#2
A coy smirk on my lips as I glide overhead. Cassie's head turns to catch sight of where I have disappeared to, finding me in the space above her, a strange position for you to find yourself in. My blue eyes catch the sight of her twisted ears, trying to map my movement where her eyes could not follow. As I cushion myself downward, my teeth graze her cheek, sending a pulse of surprise across my opponent's face. I smile as my mouth closes, hooves moving to use her to push off and away. The roan mare's mouth snaps in response, catching ever so slightly the flesh of my back left cannon. While the pain is nothing I cannot handle, blood begins to drip from a small incision made by her chompers. The legs were always more prone to blood.

This only hastens my attempts to swoop away from her, my wings beating to usher me forward. My head turns to glance back where the mare had been flying, surprisingly only to see her body pursuing me with greater speed; the slender girl cut through the air much more quickly than my own bulky frame. Instead of attempting to have it out with her in the sky, I tilt my wings downward, losing altitude. Locking my large feathered appendages in place, I begin to drop with speed. Her hooves just barely brush my rump as I fall, disturbing some hairs, but otherwise leaving my flesh unharmed. "Time to stop," I bark back over my shoulder, the wind carrying my upward as I zip toward the earth. I pull my wings up to slow my flight when I am not far from the Fields below, gently making contact with the grassy fields. Well, that was fun.

[Defense][ 295 Words ]


[ ooc; Great fight!

I think you have improved a lot. You have a sense of what is going on in the fight, and you treat it as a continuous flow of time. I don't think your last attacks were implausible in any sense. You handled taking damage much better in this last post than in the others, finding a good balance between realistic while still keeping damage away from your character as much as possible.

The only criticism I have is that I noticed you did not mention which leg you were trying to bite out at. In the scheme of things, I assumed back legs. However, it's important to be specific what you are trying to attack, and from what side. Everything else was great. ^^ ]

Official Posts: 847
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#3




Kri the Resolute | Cassiopeia
- - - - -
By my verdict Kri is the winner.

CHALLENGER -- post 1 (attack only)

[Realism]
+ 1| Keeping in mind the sun
+ 1| Attack: Hooves to shoulder
+ 1| Attack: Bite at face

[Prose]
+ 1| Very easy to read and understand
+ 1| Clear attacks and reasons
+ 1| Excellent use of emotion


DEFENDER -- post 1

[Realism]
+ 1| Hooves landing and mention of bruising
+ 1| Defense: Lifting neck to avoid bite and moving back on hind legs
+ 1| Attack: snap at haunches
+ 1| Attack: nip neck
0| Attack: hooves lashing out but no mention of where they are aimed
- 1| No mention of continued pain of the damaged shoulder


[Prose]
+ 1| Very easy to read
+ 1| Good flow

CHALLENGER -- post 2

[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: realistically took the bite to haunches
+ 1| Defense: Nip to canon
+ 1| Attack: Scraping back
+ 1| Attack: snapping teeth and neck around
- 1| A bruised haunch would continue to ache, especially when her hooves are in the air

[Prose]
+ 2| Emotion: Loving how Kri is trying to temper her blows and keep it light hearted
+ 1| Flow: Very easy to read
+ 1| Easy read

DEFENDER -- post 2

[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: Good evation
0| Defense: A bite to the ear is realistic, but the skin there is so thin that it would most likely have broken
+ 1| Attack: Nipping back
+ 1| Attack: kick at flank

[Prose]
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy read

CHALLENGER -- post 3

[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: realistically avoided bite to face
0| Defense: Took the bite to the haunch but no mention of previous bite wound
+ 1| Attack: bite at cheek
+ 1| Attack: kicking out at side

[Prose]
+ 1| Easy read: very helpful use of left and right sides
+ 1| Flow: nice transitions

DEFENDER -- post 3

[Realism]
0| Defense: taking the bite to the cheek, but no explanation of damage sustained
+ 1| Defense: Hooves to barrel and explanation of bruise
+ 1| Attack: biting at legs
+ 1| Attack: kicking at flank


[Prose]
+ 1| Flow
- 1| Easy read: Because both characters are female, you have to be very careful when you use "she" and "her"

CHALLENGER -- post 4 (defense only)

[Realism]
0| Defense: took the bite to the back leg, but a bleeding laceration would cause quite a bit of pain
+ 1| Defense: dive, but still grazed hooves


CHALLENGER

[Bonus]
+ 2| Breed: described differences of size/weight and how that would affect flight
+ 1| Surroundings

[Injuries]
None

[Creativity]
+ 1| The swooping roll to graze hooves on Cass's sides
+ 1| Style: Kri's entire attitude of having fun and sparring was very unique and emotional

Comments: Very good! Kri's attitude and emotion was wonderful. I would just docus on injuries and how they would affect your character as they continue to fight. I enjoyed also reading about the environment incorporation. Very good transitions and easy reads. Very nice style!

DEFENDER

[Bonus]
+ 1| Health: sustained the least amount of damage
+ 1| Surroundings

[Injuries]
None

[Creativity]
+ 1| Very fast, realistic attacks (like nipping back and snapping at legs)

Comments: Very good fight, but I could definitely use to feel more emotion from Cass. Also, you should think about how to make your defenses more realistic because an attack from hooves can easily break skin and it is more difficult that you would think to avoid a well defined attack. Also, really work on your use of pronouns and making sure that each character's actions are easily defined. Great job!

TOTAL
Challenger - 80
Defender - 66




Boom Boom Posts: N/A
Unregistered
:: :: ::
#4
Thanks, judge!

Good fight, Phantom. ^^

Cassiopeia Posts: 171
Hidden Account
Mare :: Pegasus :: 15 hands :: 8 years old
Phantom
#5
You too, Boom. :3

Kri totally kicked her butt. xD


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