the Rift


[JUDGED] Let Me Hear Your Battle Cry Tonight[Spar, Oxy]

Solace Posts: 95
Hidden Account atk: 4 | def: 8 | dam: 7
Stallion :: Equine :: 16h :: 6 HP: 64 | Buff: NOVICE
Adoptable
#1

Solace

I'm ashamed that I'm barely human
I'm ashamed that I don't have a heart you can break
I'm just action and other times reaction





Solace’s gate was slow and easy as he moved out of the Foothills. He had been wandering further and further away from his new home, and was finding Helovia much to his liking. With things warming up he was beginning to find this new land more and more pleasant. Over the short time he had been there though, he had encountered very few individuals, not that this particularly bothered him. A long sigh escaped from his lips as he looked up at the sky, and then down at the grass beneath his feet. The home of his foalhood couldn’t even compare to this place.
Generally Solace wasn’t the type to be insecure, but there was no denying the fact he felt rather useless to his herd. When was the last time he had even been involved in any kind of fight? His natural instinct was to avoid any form of conflict if it didn’t involve him. Even if conflict i involve him he still would do his best to avoid the situation. But this new sell sword life wouldn’t allow him to avert conflict forever. It was time for him to find a little bit of passion underneath the passiveness. A soft laugh escaped from his lips and he shook his head slowly.
”I am a bit of a hopeless case,” He thought to himself. ”I just let things brush over my shoulder and refuse to stand for something.”
He gave out another soft laugh at the realization of his insecurity. How long had it been since he had questioned himself? Now, he didn’t consider himself to be an arrogant, or cocky stallion, but he liked to believe himself reasonably confident. Perhaps this new herd life was starting to change him internally already. Before, Solace could’ve cared less about what benefit he brought others, all that had truly mattered to him not a season ago was his own welfare. Now his decisions could potentially effect the lives of someone else. This thought was absolutely terrifying to him, depending on others was not his natural instinct and he didn’t wasn’t particularly fond of others depending on him either.
He decided to push on a bit further from his homeland. Switching his gait, Solace moved at a smooth, but a rather slow trot. His heavy hooves making soft thuds against the grass, as he sought out some kind of other being. Perhaps he could stumble upon a creature he could invite to a friendly spar, that didn’t seem like too much to ask. There was also the slight chance that he himself could find a threatening individual, within his lifetime he had encountered more of those than he had ever desired. He glanced around his new surroundings, which truly weren’t much different from the ones before, the only difference was that there seemed to be a small stream. Solace’s ears swiveled in various directions, and he took in deep breaths, hoping to find the scent of another individual.
[Location: A field not too far from the Foothills. It is clear for the most part, appears to be about midday.
Attacks: 0/3
@[Oxy] ]



"Speech”



Oxy the Addict Posts: 322
Hidden Account atk: 5.5 | def: 7.5 | dam: 8
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 17.2hh :: 9 [Tallsun] HP: 73.5 | Buff: DANCE
Unnamed :: Common Boggart :: Mayhem Sevin
#2
You stalk the land and a slow trot, eyes scanning the surroundings for any signs of life. Each heavy step you make brings a small thud up to your ears and your tail flicks with amusement. The line you walk is not an entirely straight one, an effect of the plants you love to indulge in surely. You're coming out of one of your locoweed stupors and your muscles are itching for a good fight. You haven't had a good go at someone since you left your own land, though most of those fights were to get people off your back. You were more of a laughing stock, a freak show attraction, than a valued member of society. You certainly look that way now, all covered in mud and dirt and anything else that just happened to stick to your coat. Maybe lace-face's little band of outcasts will be the right place for you after all.

In entering a field you finally spot another form of life- some moss covered stallion trotting across the open ground. He seems a little more coordinated than you, a little smaller but similar in build. Ah yes, a clash of the titans. If he doesn't run off, this should prove a perfectly fun event. You rumble softly, a laugh that is building in your throat. “Hey you,” you boom into the open, a little drool falling from your lips as they move, “Mossy Boy, lets have some fun!” You halt and toss your head, doing a little half-rear to indicate your intentions. Your hooves crash back to the ground unceremoniously and you take a step to the side to widen your stance, keeping you from tipping like a fool.

Watching him briefly for a reaction, you lower your head and shrug the strap that holds your bag in place over your shoulders. Stepping out of the loop that keeps it on your limb, you pick the bag up and grab it in your mouth. You resume your ambling, wavy trot, aiming yourself towards where the stallion had been. The bag swings in your mouth and you almost laugh at your intentions. If he has not moved, you are within a few steps of him now. Picking up a canter, you suddenly toss the bag where you think his face should be. “Catch,” you grumble before putting your left shoulder forward and trying to ram it into his right rib cage. Hopefully the bag will serve as a distraction. At the same time you lower your head and then lift it, trying to rake your horns across the flesh of his neck. Oh yes, this feels right.

WC: 445
Attack: 1/3
OOC: Will edit with our judging preference, waiting on a response from Selkie!

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Tamme the Tempting Posts: 140
Administrator
Mare :: Other :: 2 :: 2 HP: 9001 | Buff: Admin
Tamme
#3
Your stats are located here: http://helovia.net/showthread.php?tid=96...8#pid64488

I will pull directly :3

The dice roll form is here: http://helovia.net/showthread.php?tid=9588
From now on, you can have anyone (besides you two), copy and paste the form while following the guidelines in the thread to do it for you at any time!



Character Name: Oxy (attacks)
Attack: 1d20 rolled for a total of: 11 (11) + 4 (character's attack stat)
Damage: 1d6 rolled for a total of: 4 (4) + 7 (character's damage stat)

If Attack > than opponent defense, attack hits.
If d20 = 1, critical miss: take 1/2(damage) to yourself
If d20 = 20, critical hit: opponent takes 6 + damage




15 >> Solace's defense of 6.5, so the attack HITS
Solace takes 11 points of damage

Oxy HP: 42
Solace HP: 31

Solace Posts: 95
Hidden Account atk: 4 | def: 8 | dam: 7
Stallion :: Equine :: 16h :: 6 HP: 64 | Buff: NOVICE
Adoptable
#4

Solace

I'm ashamed that I'm barely human
I'm ashamed that I don't have a heart you can break
I'm just action and other times reaction





Solace saw the strange stallion approach. He noticed his the slight tipsiness to his step. Slightly he cocked his head and watched the stranger. Solace made no noticable reaction to the other stallion’s taunts, but one thing he did question. Mossy boy, really, that was truly all this stallion could come up with? One thing Solace did take note of, was the stallion’s superior size, and he knew for a fact he would have superior strength. This made Solace unnerved, but he could use the speed he had to his advantage.

He moved his face out of the way of the bag but felt his body ram into his rib cage, causing him to stumble, due o the stallion’s superior strength. A loud grunt escaped from Solace’s lips, and he saw the stallion coming toward him, so he flung his head backward, but he still felt the stranger’s horns graze over his neck, and blood began to drip from the flesh that had been sliced. A wave of frustration swelled up inside of him, he lacked he practice he knew many of his herd mates had, he wasn’t a natural warrior like many of them seemed to be. Now was time for Solace to hone his skills.

He whipped his head around and attempted to bite the opposing stallion, he was aiming for the other stallion’s throat. After his attempt at the bite Solace reared up onto his hind leg and aimed hoof for the opposing stallion’s side. He was well aware of the fact that rearing up in such a way would expose his stomach, but at the moment al that mattered to him was being able to walk away from this alive and in the best physical shape possible.
[I apologize for the shortness of this post. Very bad writers block for some reason
Attacks: 1/3
HP: 31/42 ]


"Speech”



Oxy the Addict Posts: 322
Hidden Account atk: 5.5 | def: 7.5 | dam: 8
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 17.2hh :: 9 [Tallsun] HP: 73.5 | Buff: DANCE
Unnamed :: Common Boggart :: Mayhem Sevin
#5
You're rather pleased mossy boy decided to stay for this bit of fun. You've been looking for a fight for some time now. The stallion stumbles as you crash your shoulder into him, then you stumble too. You must have thought he wasn't going to move and that you were going to have a solid backboard to impede your movement- stupid on your part. Luckily, in your stumbling, you still manage to slice his neck with your horns. Some blood from your prey drips down to the tip of your horn and on to the white of your nose. You almost laugh, but then remember this isn't really funny at all. After all, you're still stumbling over your own feet.

As you manage to get your feet back under your body, your opponent's head flings around, mouth open and teeth bared. Dramatically, you flail your head to the left, overreacting just a little and sending your shoulders a step to the left as well. You're lucky you don't tip over with the way you're moving about. Still, all your flailing is for naught. Your opponent latches his teeth into your neck and you grunt in pain. His bite is solid and bruising is imminent. You started this little conflict, though. You can't let a little bite get you all bent out of shape.

As the stallion rears up, hooves reaching out to batter you, you see and seize your opportunity. Jumping forward, you attempt to once again shove your shoulder into your opponent. This time you're aiming for the underside of his ribcage. Perhaps, if you can hit hard enough, you can tip him over. That would be quite a sight. As you're busy jumping forward your opponent is busy making contact. Since you've moved forward a bit his hooves don't hit your side, but rather bash high into your right thigh. This time they tear, sharp edges breaking mud from your dirt-covered hide and letting some blood seep out. Pain rushes up your nerves, traveling from your hip to your head. You're beginning to get into the rhythm of the battle, though. Your movement is not quite as dramatic as you swing your hind out and away from him. You managed to stay balanced. Good for you.

Although the effects the plants are wearing off, you're still a little bit in limbo. The quicker movements of your slightly smaller opponent are making your head spin and you grunt your disapproval now, perhaps a little bit late. Regardless of whether your shoulder hit or not, your opponent has to come down from his rear at some point. You half-rear, the lifting motion much slower than mossy boy just moments ago. You do not wish to expose your underside the same way the other stallion did so you try to keep your body a little closer to the earth. Casting your gaze downward, you look to see where your opponent has gotten to. If he is still near-by and standing, you will attempt to bash your knees into his side. If he has fallen, you will attempt to land your hooves on his form. Either way, your limbs itch for blood.

WC: 530
Attack: 2/3
OOC| Don't ever feel obligated to post quickly if you don't have the muse. There's quite a window for response time on the spars, take your time ^-^ When you're ready to post, just ask someone in the C-box to do a dice roll for us if they haven't gotten around to it :)

Solace Posts: 95
Hidden Account atk: 4 | def: 8 | dam: 7
Stallion :: Equine :: 16h :: 6 HP: 64 | Buff: NOVICE
Adoptable
#6

Solace

I'm ashamed that I'm barely human
I'm ashamed that I don't have a heart you can break
I'm just action and other times reaction




Solace felt his teeth grip onto his opponent’s neck, it was an oddly satisfying feeling. At least his opponent would be taking away some wounds from this battle as well. He was mid-rear when he felt the other stallion ram into his ribcage. A loud groan escaped from his mouth when he felt himself stumble to the ground. Pain shot through his frame when he fell. It would probably give him a god bruise from all the weight that had been slammed down onto his single side.

Damn, I’m a lot rustier than I thought, he thought to himself. His eyes drifted up to his opponent who was now going up into a half rear himself. He tried his best to get up before the other stallion could come down on him, but he wasn’t quite quick enough. One of the stallion’s hooves struck Solace in the side, and since he was unprepared for the large blow, he fell straight back to the ground. A wound split open on his side, and blood began to drip down. Hopefully that wouldn’t scar.

Frustration was growing inside of Solace, and he even sensed a bit of anger. This other stallion was beating him like it’s nothing. His ears swiveled back and he gave out a deep guttural noise, that was as close to a growl as he could get.

He pushed himself up to his feet, wincing from the pain that shot through his frame. This would most definitely hurt in the morning. No, it hurts like hell right at the moment. Walking back to the foothills wasn’t going to be too enjoyable for him with the hurt sides.

Solace could hear his own breathing, there was no denying the fact he was growing tired. If there was any way he was going to win this spar he had to use the speed advantage he had over his opponent, though he was definitely going to be significantly slower with some of his new wounds and bruises. Hopefully his body was ready to dish out some more attacks because he knew it was time to strike.

It would be idiotic to try and smash into the stallion like he did before, so, he quickly turned his body and put all of his strength into flinging both of his hind legs at his the other stallion. He had no particular aim for a specific spot, just whatever part of the stallion his body would hit first.

When he felt his hooves return to the earth, he turned to face the other stallion. He lunged forward and attempted to smash his shoulder into the other stallion, it would hurt like hell, and he’d probably pay for it later, but in his mind it would be worth it for the moment.


"Speech”



Oxy the Addict Posts: 322
Hidden Account atk: 5.5 | def: 7.5 | dam: 8
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 17.2hh :: 9 [Tallsun] HP: 73.5 | Buff: DANCE
Unnamed :: Common Boggart :: Mayhem Sevin
#7
You watch your opponent fall and you can't help but laugh. A gravely sound tumbles out of your mouth and vibrates your throat, a look of crazed excitement filling your eyes. Your lash with your hooves hits solid horse as well and you're almost surprised at your accuracy. Yes, you're in fine form today, despite your earlier rendezvous with your beloved plant-drugs. It must be the excitement that comes with being in a new place. Whatever it is, you like it and it gives you a new desire to hone your fighting skills.

As the stallion growls you laugh again, forgetting yourself as you let him rise. Damn, you think to yourself as he's suddenly standing again. You should have hit him a second time while he was down. You don't beat yourself up over it too much, though. It is a lesson you will not forget, should you find yourself faced with a downed opponent in the future.

The wince he shows as he stands makes you proud to call yourself a warrior, though the blood on your thigh still trickles down and the bruising in your neck is causing a knot of pain. You must remember you're not invincible and you're not unhurt. Though you haven't done too much moving during this fight, your muscles are warm and your body is beginning to glisten. You are thankful for the moon overhead and not the sun. At least you are not overheating.

Suddenly your opponent is moving again. No stranger to fights, you suspect that he will kick out at you. Still, despite your suspect knowledge, you can't get your large body moving fast enough. Your turn away from him slightly, but before you get too far mossy boy's hooves have crashed ruthlessly into your shoulder. He hits harder this time, like he's gotten angry. You grunt and then grumble in pain, your large size actually a disadvantage this time. The feeling is sharp and makes your muscles contract too tightly. A smaller horse might have been moved away from the hit, dissipating some of the pain. You are solidly stuck in place, taking all of the pain right where it has landed. Your right shoulder is bruising rapidly and you're certain that its going to limit your movement.

He's turning again, trying to come at you, so you don't have much more time to contemplate what pain you're feeling. He lunges and you barely have a moment to think or move. He hits your shoulder and the pain of muscle bruising and inflammation is redoubled. You wince slightly, cursing yourself for mimicking the stallion you were just mocking in your head. Not wanting to continue on this fight too much longer with your shoulder damaged as it is, you try to make what you suspect will be your final attack count.

Reaching your long neck over his back, you throw your head down, attempting to drive your horns into his flesh and create puncture wounds. As this is just a spar and you do not wish to kill your opponent, you purposefully try to avoid his vertebrae and spinal cord. After all, this has been a more than pleasant experience in your mind. At the same time, you lift your front hoof, swinging it to the side in an attempt to batter the stallion's pastern or some other portion of his forelimb. Your hoof is large enough that the weight alone should offer some pain if it hits. Lifting your head then, you try to take a step backward before mossy boy comes at you again, though your motion is slowed by your shoulder and waning energy.

WC: 609
Attack: 3/3

Solace Posts: 95
Hidden Account atk: 4 | def: 8 | dam: 7
Stallion :: Equine :: 16h :: 6 HP: 64 | Buff: NOVICE
Adoptable
#8

Solace

I'm ashamed that I'm barely human
I'm ashamed that I don't have a heart you can break
I'm just action and other times reaction




Solace felt his hooves strike his opponent’s shoulder. A sense of satisfaction washed over him and a bit of anger subsided. The other stallion’s noises just made Solace feel even more satisfied, the other stallion was in pain just like himself. Then, he felt his shoulder strike his opponent’s, he gave out a grunt as a shot of pain ran through his body. For the moment he would pus away the thought of pain, and focus on evading his opponent’s blows.

Solace saw the stallion coming at him with his horns, he attempted to pull himself away but he felt the horns pierce into his side. He could feel the blood starting to drip down. A groan of pain escaped from his lips, and he cursed himself for not moving quicker, or at least not choosing a wiser place to allow himself to be stabbed. Shortly after the horns punctured his side, he felt the stallion’s large hooves strike into his pastern. Another grunt escaped from his lips, as he felt pain shoot up his legs.

Silently Solace decided this next attack would be his last. He couldn’t risk his body being injured anymore than it already is, he wasn’t entirely sure whether this stallion had any intentions of killing him. Solace planned on giving this stallion at least one more firm blows.

He turned toward the other stallion and attempted to bite down on him once again, following close behind was his own hoof, mimicking the other stallion’s move. He aimed his hoof slightly higher than the pastern, which Solace assumed his opponent had aimed for.

To finish things off he put all his strength behind using his shoulder for one last blow. It would cause even more damage to his already injured shoulder, and just hurt like hell, but, he hoped in the end it would be beneficial to him.


"Speech”



Oxy the Addict Posts: 322
Hidden Account atk: 5.5 | def: 7.5 | dam: 8
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 17.2hh :: 9 [Tallsun] HP: 73.5 | Buff: DANCE
Unnamed :: Common Boggart :: Mayhem Sevin
#9
Blood drips down your horns and your hoof hit solid. You couldn't be more pleased with yourself. Throughout the fight, your mouth has been pulled tight in a line of concentration but the ends turn up suddenly as the blood hangs above your nose. The bright red of the fresh hit has layered on top of the darker, dried blood from your first attack in the fight. Fortunately, your mind doesn't linger too long this time. The more time you spend in this fight, the more the effects of the plants are wearing off. Too bad you and Mossy Boy both seem almost done. Given a few more moments, you'd have a totally clear head. Unfortunately, you don't have those few more moments and you're not perfect.

You take your step back from your opponent and suddenly your gaze falls on the bag you threw at his face earlier. The plants! The moonlight plays upon them, throwing rays of silver across their green stems. You try to resist the temptation, but you can't. Your tongue itches for the sweet juices. Your training forgotten, you lunge forward. Too bad the bag is right near Mossy Boy's front side. His bite sinks deeply into your neck. At the same time, you somehow manage to trip over your massive hooves. Mossy boy tears some flesh and you once again grumble your displeasure as you flinch from the pain. Somewhere in the midst of all this, he kicks, but you never even notice. Thanks to your tripping, his hoof misses.

You don't have much time to think about the neck wound- you're falling to the earth so ungracefully. Your hind end manages to stay up, but your front limbs crash roughly to the ground. As you scurry about, trying to get up, the ground tears up your legs. Damn, you think during all of the commotion. Just when you thought you were getting over the dizziness. When you finally rise you've somehow got the bag in your mouth (thank goodness!), but you've managed to make quite a mess of yourself. Gravel from the ground has embedded itself into the now open and leaking wounds on your forelimbs. Pain begins to pulsate, both from limb and neck, as you stand there and gather yourself. Your ears flick to Mossy Boy as you turn to face him, but he does not seem intent to attack again.

Suddenly, you bob your head, doing your best to pretend you never fell. Obviously it's not working, but you can pretend it is. This was fun, you begrudgingly admit to yourself, staring at the stallion for a while. Finally, you speak. “Oxy.” The word is followed with a deep breath, allowing you to gather some oxygen into your body once again. Perhaps he'll know what you mean, perhaps he won't. Honestly, you're surprised you even gave him your name. However, perhaps the stallion can use it as a calling card in the future. A spar every now and then to keep your muscles strengthened would do you good. You don't wait too long for an answer before you quickly slide your bag back on then meander off. Surely the obnoxious glass-horn has some healers. A medic would do your bruised shoulder and bloodied neck and limbs some good.

WC- 636
Closing Defense
OOC| @[Tamme]- Sorry to tag you, just wasn't sure how to let you know we're ready for judging since we can't edit posts :)
we all look for ways to make the pain go away
- bg - table - manip -

Official Posts: 847
Administrator
Stallion :: Equine :: ::
Official
#10
By my verdict OXY is the winner!
Oxy is awarded 1 VP

SOLACE
Realism [0]
  • Timing of the attacks. If Oxy had just Solace's neck (and presumably would have continued on forward), I can't see there being time to bite his throat - it would be his back or sides most likely. Also this attack didn't have a direction, it was just "aimed for his side".
  • A wound split open on his side, and blood began to drip down. Hopefully that wouldn’t scar. Horses hooves aren't razor blades. If this attack was strong enough to make you think his side would be split open, most likely it would be fractured or broken a rib.
  • Took a lot of damage which was realistic in the sense that Oxy's attack was a critical hit. - post 2
  • Need a direction. flinging both of his hind legs at his the other stallion - post 2
  • He turned toward the other stallion and attempted to bite down on him once again, following close behind was his own hoof, mimicking the other stallion’s move. He aimed his hoof slightly higher than the pastern, which Solace assumed his opponent had aimed for.

    To finish things off he put all his strength behind using his shoulder for one last blow

    What. Where are all these attacks aimed? How long is in between them?


Emotion [-2]
  • Horses getting full on knocked off their feet is a big deal, but Solace's only reaction was: Damn, I’m a lot rustier than I thought - this would have been a great place to interject a lot


Prose [-4]
  • He noticed his the slight tipsiness to his step - post 1
  • due o the stallion’s superior strength. - post 1
  • It would probably give him a god bruise - Post 2
  • For the moment he would pus away the thought of pain - post 3


Readability [+0]
  • Post was acknowledged to be short and museless, and it really came across that way. - post 1
  • No directionality in this post made it really hard to read, and figure out what was going on. - post 2


Final Comments: I really think you need to slow down when writing spar posts. My first suggestion would be to ensure that your posts are grammatical and free of spelling errors - and then setting your sights on directionality of your attacks and really trying to describe what Solace is thinking. There were a few times where I could see your trying to write him with emotion, but it read rushed and hurried, and didn't leave a lasting impression while I was reading your posts. Really great effort though - you have a great base to work with here!



Finally tally: 6HP - 6 = 0HP

*******************************************

OXY
Realism [+2]
Tossing of the bag - awesome! - post 1
  • If Solace is on your left - and aiming to bite you, I think the directions here are wrong - why would you turn into the bite? - post 2
  • This is the wrong direction. Oxy started out hitting Solace's right side with his left, making them parallel. You haven't written Oxy as having turned around, so this: Since you've moved forward a bit his hooves don't hit your side, but rather bash high into your right thigh should be his left thigh, unless Oxy is reaching all the way over him - which given their height differences, doesn't seem realistic.
  • Solace's rear causing his thigh to bleed. This doesn't seem realistic. - Post 2
  • There is no direction mentioned for where Oxy's rear-attack is supposed to hit. Given that the directionality is sketchy above, I don't think anyone is in a position to just assume: you will attempt to bash your knees into his side. - post 2
  • Using his breed as a disadvantage here in terms of speed. Great! - Post 3
  • Powerplay: Reaching your long neck over his back - post 3
  • attempting to drive your horns into his flesh and create puncture wounds. - I know his horns are curved, but in your profile, it doesn't say they extend past his nose (on either side). So I can't imagine them hitting flesh, without Oxy grinding his nose into Solace's sides as well.

    Emotion [+1]
    Really great emotion throughout.


    Prose [+2]
    +1 - You almost laugh, but then remember this isn't really funny at all. After all, you're still stumbling over your own feet. lol


    Readability [+2]

    At fist I was thrown off by the narration style, but you did a great job of making things clear. However there were many times that directional clues were not given, that made me go, HUH? Where is he attacking?


    Final Comments Great spar! I really like how you write Oxy - his attitude and personality really seems to come through. I would suggest spending a little more time on describing the directionality and timing of your attacks. Sometimes it felt muddled. Also - just because you rolled damage, doesn't mean it has to come from your opponent! There were a few instances where I thought it was unrealistic for Oxy to have taken the damage that he did - keep in mind that he can also take damage from stumbling, or the surrounding landscape!


    Finally tally: 15.5HP +3 = 18.5HP


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