I needed to apologize to my sweet little filly, for all what I had done was just plain wrong. I had caused so much pain forcing against her, and I never knew what I had gotten myself into until just now. How stupid am I? Well, I know for one, I’m a blonde, just like Kaj. Though, I think he still beats me when it comes to being smart, even if he has that long flowing blonde hair along his neck. I guess I had just done something very stupid, unlike all other things I had done, this was the one that had separated us all. Why did it have to be me, an innocent one? Why did the devil take over me to be the bad creature, out of all the ones there already were? Of course he had to pick the one that had done nothing wrong in her life time and go mess things up. I now lost everyone I had actually cared about. But maybe, just maybe there was a second chance waiting on me for to take hold of. But did I really deserve it, after all the hell I put Harmony through after that demon took over my body? And what if she doesn’t forgive me? What will I do then? I couldn’t just let her go on hating me for the rest of her life line. I had to say sorry. I traveled to the Heavenly Fields, her favorite place of all time in Helovia. I knew I would probably find her here, since this was mostly where she stayed most of the time. My clefts stopped, orbs glancing around as I called out her name. " Harmony?"

Credits

@[Harmony]

Doubt had crept into my mind with every moment I spent away from the Assassins. Happiness was replaced by depression. Company replaced by lonely nights. Ever since Antheia had left me I have been a wreck. Not knowing where my clefts will lead me, or where I want them to. Maybe I should fulfill my dreams? Maybe I should find a new herd? Make a good friend... Have children? Who knows. Antheia left me, so she could fulfill her dreams, I suppose. I was simply holding her back from what she has ahead of her. But when will she ever want me again? Never? Soon? So many questions, so many mingled feelings plague my heart and soul now. As I spend every chilly night without one to warm me. Without one to wipe away the tears that leave long, endless trails of wetness down my cheeks. My days and nights are spent alone. As, all who I have ever loved decide to restrain from me, give up on me. Tonka, Chemical, Antheia, my original family, Kahlua. So many, many beings that have pushed away our relationship to find someone new. But, the one that ached the most was the thought of Antheia. The way she cruelly left me battered and alone in this large land. With a young heart and soul plagued by a demon. I am one who needs company, needs help. Although, she must not be willing to give it. At first, we where all fine and dandy. It seems I knew it was to good to be true. Our love for each other was strong, seemed to be unbreakable. But, she like al the other's, gave up and moved onto something better. To most, I am useless. I have no crown upon my dome, no bird wings that spring from my shoulders, no. I am simply, boring, not interesting, useless.... The voices of the being who spoke these words linger through my mind, playing over and over as I remember them. Each thought tugs at one of my delicate, fragile heart strings. Though, there are also thoughts that lighten my day, it seems the evil ones over rule these. Take them over, poison them. What is wrong with me? I do I seek, and wish for death now? There has been so many good moments, I should be able to remember them, and they should rule, right? But no, no no no. I dream of the time where this suffering ends and a light leads way to a happy and joyous life, where I can be whole again. Be only me, not me and Raven. Just me. Is it possible though?


I walk through my fields, memories flashing before my pools, glazing them over as I walk lifelessly through the tall wheat like, withering grass and beautiful flowers. I feel as if there is no beating heart in my chest, I am simply a hollow log, longing to be chopped up and used for something better. To end this hell. To become one not like me. To put the pieces back together in the puzzle, to stand back and look at the beautiful image I have created. Am I leading these thoughts? Is he? It's all become a useless blur, not even worth it to fight against him or tell him no. All it is, is a down ward spiral. So hard to revive yourself and throw your limbs into an upward spiral. To fight against whatever it is that is pulling you down, down, down. Down so far until you have hit rock bottom. From there you can only go up, but how? Can't you just stay there, mourning over yourself and what you have become till' finally you starve to death, ending your miserable life and putting you out of the everyday pain? Yes, why yes you can. I have been there, for oh so long. Waiting for one to revive me but it seems I have waited too long. I just want it to end. Now, right here. But how?


I hear my name being called, and see the silhouette of a unicorn, coming over the ridge and making it's way towards me. Rubbing my cheek on my left front leg, I wipe away the tears. Taking a deep breathe I compose myself to mask my depression and speak kindly to this being who knows me. Only until the being let's the moon shine on it's pelt, is when I know who it is. I suppress a small gasp, noticing it is Antheia. How dare she call for me, when she has put me through hell? How dare she? Her bodice is sleek, stopping at her swollen abdomen. I take a step forward, my orbs blazing with fury, I fight myself not to let him take me over, if I did, she would be laying here in a pool of crimson. Clearing my throat, I plead to whatever is above me to let me sound strong.


" Ye-es? "


Whatever I pleaded to, they didn't listen. My voice cracks, shaking under the pressure of a thousand tons, or so it seems. All I can do is turn my dome so my orbs don't meet hers, and to hope she doesn't notice the tears welting in them, falling, and the soft patter they make as they fall to the ground.


" What do you want from me, darling? To rip me apart once again? "


My voice is now stronger. I turn to her, letting her see the pain and fury in my orbs, the tears running down my cheeks. Flexing my muscles, I snort as a tear runs into one of my nostrils. Stamping my front left pillar, I talk on, not giving her time to speak.


" Do you know the hell your putting me through? Leaving me out here to cry myself asleep every night. To wish and dream of death? To hope that I don't wake up the next morning? It all started with you, Antheia . "


My voice was nothing but a small whisper, my voice weak again as I spoke of my feelings. More and more tears poured from my sockets. She doesn't understand, no.






{ Sorry for the dramatic, long post. I have too much muse <33
@[Antheia] }

I watched her form come into view, my dark blue orbs brightening up into a silver-azule. They danced as she slowly walked up towards me, but soon fell at her words. My dome hung low, my maw sitting against the soft ground. " No dear. I’m here to apologize." I spoke in a whisper, my head still settling aside the ground. Thoughts flew in and out of my ears. Would she even forgive me? After all the pain I’ve put her little soul through? The things I’ve torn apart from us both. I was confident I might as well just give up, as always, and just leave. But I couldn’t leave her in this condition. " I’m sorry Harmony, for what I’ve done was very wrong. I don’t know what got into me, it just happened. I never meant any of it at all, I guess what happened to you in the past is what happened to me then. The devil inside. I guess you could say I was pretending to be someone that I’m not, that really isn’t the real me. I was just trying to help you, but it didn’t come out the way I wished it could’ve. If you no longer need me as a mother, seeing as you’ve learned your own ways now, I’m fine with it. I’ll leave you alone, and you won’t ever have to see me again." I looked up at the princess I use to call my own, my orbs locking on her own. The tears started to roll down along my white cheeks, my eyes once again turning a dark blue. I hoped she would understand. I couldn’t take this pain between us two no longer, it was killing me, slowly, but time flies by fast. And with the sun gone, it was real hard to tell how fast it was really going.

Credits

@[Harmony]

@[Antheia]

I smiled as she forgiven me so quickly. I couldn’t help but shed more tears, them rolling down my white dome, weaving over my light coat. I looked into her eyes, my bright orbs staring deep inside of her, seeing the gesture she had brought upon the land as the real me was gone, fading away into a different dream. ”I promise you Harmony, I won’t ever leave you again like the way I left you. Not as long as I live, I won’t ever step foot far enough. And even if I do get mad or act like the devil itself, I will never be far enough to stop loving you dear Harmony. It was dreading for me to leave you that night. I regret it all.” I buried my face into her own, the tears still falling to the earth, relieving the plants with pure water. I backed up a little, but enough for her still to touch my large stomach. I felt a kick as she put her maw up against my soft cloak, I chuckled, barely feeling the pain at all. ”I think he can’t wait to meet you either.” I chuckled slightly once again, my cheeks slowly turning a faint pink. I smiled as I thought of our future together, Harmony and the foal running through these fields of golden daisies or along the ocean azule. I nudged Harmony and smiled, keeping my maw up against her beautiful colored coat, making it’s way to her back and then resting it softly. ”I love you Harmony.”

Credits

@[Harmony]

Harmony It felt so amazing to have her back. I instantly felt myself surge into the old me. I know that’s odd, but know I can actually feel. These things mean more to me now, now that he is gone. Raven has left me. I have fallen in love. So many things I need to tell her. But I must save some for a later time. I almost blank out after she says “I promise”, because I know she means it, and I believe it. I have no intent to listen to the other words, for I already can predict what she is going to say to me. And, by the snit bits that I do hear, I am absolutely right. When she made contact with me, a small sob escaped my maw. I had missed her so much... It just felt so amazing to have her back. I wish I could savor this feeling forever. When she backed up, I wanted to ask for her to stay next to me, but I knew that we would soon touch again. Then a small kick, a signal from inside that he had been hearing. A large smile crossed over my kissers, and I cocked my dome to the left, my long locks slipping to that side. “ He’s going to be beautiful Mother. Look at you. So motherly, I never would have thought you would have had your own so soon...” My last phrase was choked with a bit of sadness. It was true, I was a bit jealous. The little colt would probably get more love than I, but then again, did I really deserve Antheia’s love? Was I worthy of any love? “ I love you too, Mother.” Tags; @[Antheia] The life ahead can only be glorious if you learn to live in total harmony with the Lord..