the Rift


[PRIVATE] my heart is beating [paladin]

Ktulu the Constrictor Posts: 509
Outcast atk: 5.0 | def: 9.5 | dam: 6.5
Mare :: Hybrid :: 16.1 :: 7 HP: 70.5 | Buff: ENDURE
Eytan :: Grizzly Bear :: Terrorize ali
#1

Oh, dig my shallow grave
Its not me you'll save



What had she done with her life? She'd estranged herself from her family and had driven away those that had once been friends. She bore a child to a god and one to a General whom she thought she loved but now she was questioning even that. He didn't want to leave the Throat and she didn't want to go back to living in the desert. What kind of commitment was that for them? No matter how often they visited and tried to spend time together it just didn't feel like it was enough to keep their small family going. It hurt, but it didn't hurt as much as the knowledge that her father wanted nothing to do with her. If he did then wouldn't he have visited when she took the Foothills for her own? If he did then he wouldn't have just walked away when the battle was over instead of going and seeing if his daughters had been injured in the lackluster battle.

What hurt the most, probably, was knowing the Ophelia was unhappy with her as well. They had never fought before, but when they had the shared responsibility of a herd they could not seem to see eye to eye and were often at each other's throats. Their problems had not even been fixed before her pale sister had taken her leave and left her alone with the burden of a herd to watch over by herself and now she was thinking about doing the same thing to Apollo. She could not lie to herself any longer, she'd never been meant to live in a herd. The Grey was never meant to be so large. They were never meant to be heartless mercenaries. When she and Ophelia had spoken of the group they had spoken of fighting for the less fortunate. They had spoken of being honorable. Where was the honor in fighting for little more than personal gain?

Where was her honor? Where was her pride?

Ktulu sighed, her head dropping so she gazed down at her hooves. The movement jostled her mane and the fireflies that had nestled themselves there. Several of them stayed within the pale strands and glowed while several more fluttered around her, blinking and twinkling. She was confused and lost and wished that she had her mother to confide in because her mother had loved her no matter what her choices had been. Her mother had joined the Foothills to watch over her kids before she'd disappeared to only the Gods knew where. Soleil would have had good advice for her and would have told her that she loved her. That was all she wanted, she decided. Just some kind words and advice from the one parent she thought could still stand the sight of her.


@[Paladin]


Credits

Icon by Tay

Paladin the Valiant Posts: 153
Deceased
Stallion :: Unicorn :: 16.3 hh :: 15 Years Buff: DANCE
Tamme
#2







From the dawn of time, to the end of days
I will have to run, away
I want to feel the pain, and the bitter taste
Of the blood on my lips, again



Paladin's secret was out to the World's Edge, and the stallion did not give a shit. He felt the dark mood over his spirits constrict, tightening their hold as he looked out over the night sky of the beach. Even the twinkling of the moonlight on the cresting waves did not bring him peace and serenity. Something in him had just given up, and he had not the heart nor the energy to try and revive it. He was slipping back into very old habits and very old ways that were easier to wear than courage or bravery.

His battle against the racist tendencies that plagued the land were futile. What could he do against their might? What could he do against his sister and her thoughts? They were all broken and breaking everyone else they came across. Who was he in the ocean? One drop? A little droplet of water unable to sway, only be swayed.

The black dun could complain about his family and complain about his life, but he had dug his own hole. Perhaps that is what made him so bitter. He felt powerless in the drama he had made for himself, and that was just... pathetic. To try and counterbalance this new irritation, he tried to pick up his old routines again, jogging along the beach, legs working against the sand that tried to swallow him whole.

But his heart was not into the work anymore, and he moved like a steady, unwavering bulwark of force with no life. He was a trebuchet, a tool of war, easily used but giving nothing in return. The stinging pain in his joints made him grimace, but otherwise, nothing appeared on his face until he saw a similar figure in the distance. At first, he thought it was his own reflection, but some small, tell tale differences told him otherwise.

Ktulu, his own daughter. Paladin's first instinct was to march up to her, retelling his disappointments, but what good would that do? She had made her choices, and she could live with the consequences - just like he had. The stallion chose instead to pause his efforts, walking closer until he could see her details and speaking would not require shouting. Gray hairs had cropped up over his face and leg joints, and he sported a beard now, much to his chagrine.

"Ktulu," he said quietly, not saying anything else. What was there to say?



"Deep in the ocean, dead and cast away... where innocence is burned in flames..."



DO YOU FEEL MY PAIN NOW?

Ktulu the Constrictor Posts: 509
Outcast atk: 5.0 | def: 9.5 | dam: 6.5
Mare :: Hybrid :: 16.1 :: 7 HP: 70.5 | Buff: ENDURE
Eytan :: Grizzly Bear :: Terrorize ali
#3

Oh, dig my shallow grave
Its not me you'll save



"Ktulu."

It was not the voice she had wanted to hear. The dark mare tilted an ear back in the direction of her father, but remained staring down at her hooves, waiting because she just knew that he would have more to say to her. When he didn't say anything else she began to think that maybe her mind was playing tricks on her, but his scent drifted on the breeze and she sighed. Before his scent had been a source of comfort but now it only incited anxiety and the wish that she could just sink into the ground and disappear. She wanted to run and not look back and just not deal with anything that was bothering her, but what good would running away do?

"Dad." Ktulu replied as she turned her head enough to see him from the corner of her eye. "If you've come here to tell me that you're disappointed in me don't bother." She was disappointed enough in herself, she didn't want to hear it from him too. There was a limit to how bad someone could feel about themselves before the desire to just throw yourself off of a cliff became too much to ignore and it became a reality. She could to it, too. There were plenty of cliffs in Helovia. She could march right into the World's Edge and just throw herself into the ocean and drown away all of her sorrows and guilt.

Her body shifted as she turned to face her father, her crimson eyes tracing over features that had mirrored her own before, but it seemed as if old age had finally caught up with the mighty Paladin. When she got old would she have a beard like he did? Would her face start to turn grey? Would she look so haggard and ready to quit on life? "You look.... tired." She finally decided because there was plenty she could have chosen from, but 'you look like you've seen better days' and 'you look horrible' and 'you look old' were a tad disrespectful and while she didn't have any respect for herself at the moment she still respected her father. She just resented him a little at the moment.

@[Paladin]
"."

Credits

Icon by Tay


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