Standing within the borders of the place that she had come to call home was beginning to weigh heavily on her mind. Rather than loving the place she was beginning to grow weary of it. Day in and day out it was the same thing over and over again. Patrol the borders because the warriors that had been instructed to do so were not. Accept new herd members that had no idea what the Grey was supposed to be about because they just seemed to be pouring in one after another. She was tired of trying to make the Grey work when everyone seemed content to watch it fail and just sit idly and stagnantly. The one contract they had received had been a botched invasion that had resulted in the death of her uncle. Archibald was right when he said that the herd was weak. That he was living among rats.

"Apollo!" She called into the darkness as she turned away from the border to face the heart of the land she had helped to capture. Eytan lingered by her side, gazing up at her with confusion and concern written clearly on his face. It was unlike his bonded to have such a mixture of emotions running so rampantly though her heart. Sadness, regret, defeat, and disappoint were emotions he'd rarely (if ever) had felt from her before. She had always radiated strength, stubbornness, authority, and determination. She just seemed to be broken now in more ways than one.

Ktulu flicked her tail as she waited, stone faced, for the Merciful to come to her. How would he take what she had to tell him? Would he be disappointed and angry with her or would he understand her decision and not give her any grief? There would only be one way for her to find out and she'd already taken a step in the direction of finding out his reaction. The black mare looked down when she felt a nudged against her leg. She lowered her head and nuzzled the top of the bear's head. "I'm fine." She assured the bear.

"Are you unwell...? I discovered that my magic has returned, so if something is ailing you, I should be able to help..."

If only it were really as simple as allowing someone with healing magic to tap into her and fix everything that was wrong with her. He would certainly have his work cut out for him, that was for sure. She gave a slight shake of her head before raising her head to look at the paint stallion. "What ails me you would be unable to fix." She finally answered him. Ktulu stood for a moment gazing at the stallion she had chosen to lead beside her not too long ago. She had known from the moment she'd chosen him that she'd made the right choice. Not once had she ever doubted his ability and even now she knew that he would succeed where she could not no matter how she tried.

Eytan grumbled quietly in his bearish concern, to which Ktulu acknowledged with a glance. "Sure?" he asked, looking almost skeptical. "I am." Ktulu answered him back. "This is for me." The bear grumbled again and Ktulu lowered her head and nudged him. "Everything will be okay." She assured him again and with that he ambled off to give his bonded and her friend a bit of privacy.

"I suppose I should just cut to the chase and tell you why I called for you." The Constrictor said as she looked at Apollo. "Over the past months its become abundantly clear to me that I'm not cut out to live in a herd." She said. "I tried living in the Throat and I left. The Grey." She said. "Was never meant to reach the scale it has. I never intended to take a herd land and become a leader, but I did so because the Grey had grown too large to live comfortably in the forest." Would he understand where she was heading with what she was saying?

"I am not happy, Apollo, and I have not been for a long time. Day after day I patrol these borders because the warriors that were supposed to be dedicated will not do it. More and more join our ranks who know nothing about what it is to be one of us. The basis of the Grey has changed and gone in a direction that I cannot turn around. When my sister and I originally founded this group we founded it with the understanding that we would fight for those that could not defend themselves. We have not done this." The dark mare paused and stared at Apollo before shaking her head and looking away. "Despite my instincts I accepted the Basin contract and because of my choice Donovan is dead." Ktulu paused again as if sorting her thoughts. "I take my leave, Apollo. You are more than capable of leading this herd to a peaceful existence than I am. I am sorry for being a disappointment." It was time she did something to make herself happy. "I desire to remain your friend if you will have me." She finally met Apollo's gaze and held it. "If ever you need me I will help you."

Part of Ktulu wanted for Apollo to be angry with her for just giving up and leaving him with a herd on his shoulders. Leaving under those circumstances would have been much easier than a humbling and sorrowful goodbye, but Apollo was calm as he always was, understanding as she knew only he could be. She appreciated it, she really did. Still, part of her wanted him to yell at her and it was for her own selfish reasons that she wished for him to go completely against his character. Instead he spoke of his fears and Ktulu knew that she had bolstered those very fears in her own heart since first taking leadership. It was what had made her so paranoid of outsiders and living in paranoia was slowly killing her.

"You are strong, Apollo." The Constrictor whispered, her muzzle reaching out to touch Apollo's. "Strong in so many ways and yet you doubt yourself. Don't." It would be his downfall. The Merciful spoke again and when he asked her to promise that she would be well she sucked in a breath. Her weight shifted and she stepped forward, her muzzle leaving Apollo's as she moved her head so her cheek rested against his own. "I won't make a promise I can't keep." She answered back. Dark lids fluttered shut as tears threatened her eyes. Not many had shown such concern for her in her life and it made her grateful that she had befriended the Merciful.

Ktulu drew back when the steps of another sounded in the distance. She remained quiet as Lakota approached, already wondering if the poisoner had made her decision to follow or to stay. Her named needed only to be said and Ktulu knew the answer. She would be leaving the Foothills with only Eytan at her side. She steadied her expression, not allowing it to show that a knife had been driven through her already tattered heart. She listened, all the while her heart screaming and tearing at her chest, the mask threatening to crumble away and reveal just how broken the mare was.

"I understand." She said to Lakota, her voice quiet and her words careful. She wanted to scream at her and demand why she suddenly would change her mind. Had Lakota not promised multiple times before that she would follow whatever Ktulu's decision? Instead she lifted her head and watched as Lakota bowed. "Don't." Ktulu responded with a shake of her head, forcing down the bitterness that had surged within her breast only moments before. "You should bow to no one. Neither of you."

With that she turned. "Farewell." She murmured as her hooves carried her away from the two of her closest friends. Eytan gave Lakota one last desperate look and a quiet whine before he turned and followed after his bonded.