A lifetime of changes lay before the young fae yet still her mind wandered through the trenches of the past unable to forget the horrors that left her the way she was today. Was it really possible to let go of everything and just start over as if yesterday never existed? She had heard of others speaking as if it was possible but for some reason she could not see how. Maybe it was just something that only certain individuals could do, she mused silently to herself as she wandered along slowly lost in thought. It had not been too long since she had discovered this place that appeared to be shrouded in darkness. Here she had managed to find somewhere to call home, worlds edge, it had been here that she had met the first souls who seemed to welcome her without really knowing her. When she had set out this morning, maybe the darkness made things impossible to tell what time of day it actually was, but she had aimed to possibly familiarize herself with her home but had gotten lost in the process.

So far she had managed to keep her nervous energy in check but the further she got from anything familiar the stronger it pulled at her will to keep it down. Destrier had told her that the borders would become familiar and recognizable but so far she noticed nothing obvious. Flicking her ears around she listened for anything alarming while scanning the area to find anything that may lead her back home again. If only she had some sense of direction she thought hopelessly, then at least she would have a chance. Continuing forward the white mare walked with slight hesitation wondering if it might be a better idea to just stay put, but that could mean something else might appear in this strange place. Nothing would surprise her at this point but honestly she wasn't sure she wanted to know what all lurked under this cloak of darkness. Well the one advantage to having her current frame was that there was not any excess flesh on her carcass that would provide any sort of appetizing meal to anything wanting a feast. Her bones were still quite prominent on her thin figure from her earlier hardships and so far she had not been settled enough to put much effort into correcting this. Again it was just a reminder of her nightmare, that would forever be a part of her.

Emotion tugged at her heart at the thought of everything that she had lost, her family, her home, her dignity and most of all her unborn child. She had never imagined having any sort of attachment to the product of rape and terror but strangely enough there was still the pain of loss that surrounded the situation many months ago. In many ways she still ached painfully from the ordeal never having recovered from the shock of reality. If only that second brute hadn't come along to leave her near death and bleeding, maybe then she would have gotten to experience something she never knew she had wanted until it was too late. Her physical wounds had scabbed over by now but the mental wounds still ached tirelessly. Shaking her head to clear away the emotion she forced her hooves to move onward not wanting to stop and surrender the distraction to let it all fall apart. In a way she was glad she had managed to get lost so that no one had to see her this way but in the other sense she wished she could just reassure herself that she had something to live for now, if she could ever find it again.


TAGS: Open
MUSE: Good
NOTES: Sorry for rather crappy starter, will definitely get better XD

Walking along as quietly as possible the pale coated fae managed to pull some comfort for the warmth of the sunshine on her back. It at least to help warm her tired bones and give her some sense of feeling other than pain. Stopping briefly to pull up some of the greenery from beneath her she chewed flicking her ears around nervously hoping to catch any sounds of someone approaching before they surprised her. Despite being underweight and thin she still ceased to have much of an appetite whether from stress or from lack of actually caring anymore. Whatever happened would happen despite what she thought about the situation, she could not change that or anything that had happened in the past.

Giving up on having to much of a meal she was about to continue forward when a masculine whinny broke through the silence. The familiar ice crept into her veins slowly moving through her body essentially paralysing her from moving more than a couple steps. The same old fear easily clamped down tightening its grip upon her fragile frame, before she might have ran but she had no chance of ever escaping now. What other choice did she have other than to face the threat and pray they would go away. Swallowing the ball in her throat she watched with sky coloured orbs as the stallion approached her. She was thankful for her spanish features of her ancestors as the long mane and forelock could serve its own purpose for concealing her face at least partially.

The stallion had a similar snow white pelt and features to herself but he was much better built with more weight and muscle mass. His eyes watched her with interest and a smile adorned his maw as if he was quite amused with her. Standing still she watched him with apparent nervous energy despite her attempts to conceal it. The words that hung in the air took a couple seconds to process through her foggy brain. Although seeming kind enough she refused to believe the appearance of his words until she discovered the truth for herself. Before it was what got her into trouble as she made assumptions on first impressions, well not this time. Oh but now she guessed that she would have to come up with some response to his greeting or end up looking like an idiot in front of Arrane. Summoning whatever was left of her brainpower she managed to form a simple sentence. "Hello Arrane, what brings you here?" She asked quietly yet while remaining as calm as possible given her state of mind.


TAGS: @[Arrane]
MUSE: Good
NOTES: This shall be fun

It was hard to say the last time the fae felt so conflicted over a decision, well at least like this. Normally it was not questionable whether to chance talking or to take leave but since arriving at Helovia she found herself having to fight her initial responses that had developed over the years. Things might eventually become natural habit if enough good came of sticking around to talk to others, it was all mind over matter right now and it was one big battle she was determined to win. First step was to just breathe, without oxygen her brain could not think and without active thoughts happening things could go bad.

Flicking her ears forward slightly to catch the softened tones of the white stallion she watched his actions carefully. "Don't worry, I mean no harm" Pfft she could give a penny for everytime she had heard that before and be rich, but the strange thing was Arrane seemed to actually mean the words instead of just using them to lure her in. "I'm just wandering about, wishing the sun would rise once more" Was the sun not already in the sky above them she thought silently to herself, what exactly was he meaning by waiting for it to rise once more? Was this one of those sentences that had multiple meanings that no one could ever really understand? Sighing softly she forced herself to relax a tiny amount as she contemplated the many possibilities of this analogy that could be.

The return response was a little more difficult to form as she was still unsure whether she could trust this stud, could she just come out and tell him she was hopelessly lost? Or should she pretend she was just out for a "walk"? The walking theory may be the best option but if he did happen to know the way back to her home it would make things so much easier and less stressful. Was there ever a correct answer she wondered as the stallion's tone turned to seem almost as if there was something he was not saying to her. His reaction was subtle but still apparent, what was it that made him turn his tone around this drastically from the kind of happy flirtatious tone he had possessed at the beginning of his words? Oh crap now she was overthinking things again silently reprimanding herself. Breathe, remember to breathe, but in the same thought she knew her response was needed and in the next couple seconds should she want to maintain the conversation and not make herself out to be mental.

"Brisa..My name is Brisa." She said hesitant at first but making her tone stronger the second half as she almost needed to confirm the fact herself. At least her name was out there now, being called miss or ma'am somehow made her feel older than she really was, she did not want to get older or at least feel it. Now what was she doing out here, well here goes nothing. " I uhh. .. was just out ummm. .... walking and I seem to have gotten a little turned around." That didn't sound too bad, at least it was better than telling a complete lie, she was afterall lost based on her poor decision to explore further into the lands of Helovia. For all she knew she was in a different area all together now but surely she could not have gotten that far from where she had started from.

TAGS: @[Arrane]
MUSE: Good
NOTES: Very sorry for delay, I have been working 14 hour shifts and they are killer when doing three in a row with only 10 hours off in between XD

I can sense there is something troubling you...Just looking in your eyes I can see you don't trust me and that there is something really hurting you. If....if it isn't too much of a bother...do you mind telling me what is...what's hurting you so much These lyrics yet meant to be seemingly harmless did something to her insides causing her heart to jump into her throat as it pounded painfully. "I...I...can't.." She stuttered feeling herself slowly losing her connection to her thoughts. The very things that she had been trying to overcome, to forget came flooding back with a vengeance hitting her like a ton of bricks. Before her no longer stood the stallion but rather the haunting memory of her mother all those years ago. Blood trailed down her slick pelt staining the once silver coat the horrible darkened shades of crimson. This was the last image she could recall of her mother as she pleaded with her to run, to get as far away as possible.

Shaking her head violently in an effort to regain her own thoughts she staggered back a step blinking back a fresh set of hot tears that sprang to her orbs. No she couldn't let it consume her again, she couldn't go back there. Her legs felt as if she had run for days suddenly feeling as if they were dead weights barely able to hold up her own dwindling mass. Surely if she had the ability to vomit she would have at the flashback as it gradually disappeared back into the depths of her mind. Heaving a breath trying to steady her imbalance she concentrated on remaining standing. From the corner of her eye another figure appeared to her surprise, she had not remembered seeing anyone else around before. In a way she was thankful for the distraction as it displaced the horror stricken thoughts that clouded her mind previously. He was a rather elegant looking stallion who was the complete opposite colouration as compared to their contrasting shades of white.

Something strange seemed to have gripped Arrane as well for he was off from the individual she had met at first. Nerves seemed to have gripped his features draining the energy his tone had carried before, was it because of this new stud or was it something else? Unease filtered through her brain at his sudden change causing her to move away towards the newcomer for what a sense of security? "This...boy isn't bothering you, is he, miss?" Her gaze fell upon his, her eyes meeting his own with curiosity yet a surreal sense of stability which helped to ground her again to the earth. Horns sprouted from the sides of his cranium but instead of giving him a fearful image the fae felt a sense of calmness radiate from him rather drawing her to him. Hesitantly she stepped over beside him lowering her head for a second unsure how to respond to his question. Her velveteen muzzle reached out to touch his shoulder almost without her conscious awareness as a kind gesture to the black stag. It was simple enough only requiring a yes or no answer yet her mind felt more conflicted between them to decide for sure. Yes he had triggered a flashback causing her a great deal of pain yet she did not get the sense that it was intentional or meant to have the effect it did upon her damaged emotions.

"Yes...no..maybe.. Well I really don't know how to answer that, things are just.. complicated." She replied quietly with her voice remaining unusually steady despite her heart pounding in her chest. How was this newcomer having such a drastic effect over her? Was it just her imagination screwing with her? Who was he anyway? The questions whisked around freely in her mind piquing her interest immediately instead of shutting her verbal skills down as they had with Arrane. Her reaction before to the white stallion's words made her realize she was not able to retell her past openly yet strangely enough if the black stallion had asked would she still of had the same reaction?

tags: @[Arrane], @[Torleik]
muse: Excellent
notes: No problem at all it will be fun to have them all together. Plus it will be good for Brisa to meet others<3

To say that she was confused would be an understatement as she caught the white stallion's words as they drifted across the wind towards where she stood. Granted it wasn't only his words that were a mystery but this entire situation. Hell she was moving away from one stallion yet finding trust in another she did not even know, maybe she was really going crazy. "I..I hope you feel better about it". What exactly did Arrane mean by these words? He had no idea what nightmare she had lived through to get here, how was she to expect to feel better about it? Surely something else was on his mind to be talking so juvenile, if that was even the correct word for it. Understanding him was hard enough with the stammering and his general tone, why did he have to make things worse with taking like this?

Lifting her eyes from the greenery beneath her feet she hesitantly glanced up to see the exchange between the two stallions. The black who she stood closest to almost seemed to be sizing up Arrane with annoyance, hopefully her words hadn't been the wrong choice. It wasn't her intent for anyone to come out of this missing chunks of who they were beforehand. Nervously her blue orbs met those of Arrane almost as if to apologize for something but no words came. "if I was a bother to you. I just wanted to be kind" Her breath ceased in her lungs as his words hit her making her feel horribly ill as her gaze fell again at the impact of meaning behind the words. What had she done to him to make him sound so desolate and upset? Her expression during her relapse attack maybe, no none of that was due to him surely he cannot think otherwise could he?

Everything started to blur before her eyes overwhelming her thoughts making her head spin. Mumbled voices registered vaguely as her responses remained intact as if she was actually there being attentive to the conversations but her mind ceased to exist momentarily. "If I can help you, you need only ask," The gentle touch of the stallion's flesh against hers shocked her out of whatever state she had been drawn into as her mind concentrated on staying rooted to the spot instead of fleeing as she had before if a stallion even came near her. Something with this stallion seemed to target parts of her mind that were once forgotten, giving her the strange sensation of butterflies in her gut rampaging around. The only touch she had felt in the past couple months had been tarnishing and damaging it was strange to actually feel reassurance and warmth, something she could only ever recall from the memories of her mother.

Swaying unsteadily on her feet her body reacted to her rollercoaster of emotions almost buckling her knees. A soft sigh caught her body before her nervous system reacted to maintain her balance and not send her crashing to the ground. Maybe this was its payback for the unknown countless hours of sleep she had not been getting or the lack of proper food intake. She could not recall the last time she had actually been able to sleep or take the time to eat something to sustain herself. Shaking her head slightly to clear the feeling off she raised her head slightly to look between the two stallions only to find both of them waiting for her to say something. Oh wasn't her luck just the greatest she thought sarcastically. " I appreciate the offer.. but you do not need to waste your energy on me. Surely you have more important things to do..." She said quietly feeling the same old loneliness return.

In reality she would really like to have some company even for a little while but her voice could not state her feelings. Neither of the pair had been unkind to her and the thought of getting to know them was nice to think about. The response she would have liked to have been able to say to the black stallion was that she would really like him to help her, but her mind was still in the thought process that she could not count on anyone to be there for her. Honestly she wasn't sure that she knew how to ask for help even when she needed it greatly.

TAGS: @[Arrane], @[Torleik]
MUSE: Great
NOTES: Her form of asking for help haha