Thirteen Sad Farewells - Printable Version +- HELOVIA || The Way to the Sun (http://helovia.com) +-- Forum: Out of Character (http://helovia.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=1) +--- Forum: Archives (http://helovia.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=11) +--- Thread: Thirteen Sad Farewells (/showthread.php?tid=21725) |
Thirteen Sad Farewells - Essetia - 11-28-2015 The familiar shade of the Threshold fell across my back in a spattering of deep brown and faded black. As I moved once more into the comfortable silence of Helovia, I left behind me all of the noise and chaos from the worlds beyond. Twice now, I had spent my nights beneath an open sky too far from the quiet of what I considered home. There was something exhilarating in the object of being completely and utterly alone; you could hear more, see more. Besides, the circumstances that I’d left behind had grown too large and overwhelming for me to bear. Or perhaps it was just that I’d found that I couldn’t yet face them, despite the fact that those days seemed too far away and too hazy to recall anymore. “Forget them,” Romul tried softly while stalking lightly alongside me. I glanced down at the wolf with a half-hearted smile and nodded loosely. He had always been my voice of reason and that hadn’t changed since our leave, but there was something distant in the way he regarded our return. His golden stare was fixed against the trodden path ahead and I could tell he was mildly dismayed. I was tempted to run my muzzle along the thick, white scruff that formed a sharp triangle at his back, but refrained in hopes of giving him enough time to once again adjust. Too many times I had asked him to change his path while favoring my own; I was a selfish creature and somehow he’d learned to cope with that fact. The TallSun heat was something I’d missed, even though the mild weather of spring and fall were preferable. There was something promising in the way the sun always stood tall, casting shadows across the land and dispersing the darkness into realms only the North might recognize. It was true, the Aurora Basin still left a bitter taste in my mouth, but not for the reasons one might imagine these days… The land of the cold was now the least of my concern and more a necessary evil when it came to remembering. Instead the snow had been replaced with a burning warmth and a penetrating, bronze stare. How I hated that he’d stayed with me so long, even after I’d forbid myself from his memory. Funny, isn’t it, how such loathing and such passion can work simultaneously as one hostile emotion? With my pale gaze narrowed against the darkening of the Threshold, I passed comfortably through the towering trees with all of their high branches. Was it pathetic that I’d found myself a nomad again, lost somehow, despite knowing these hills and plains like the back of my hand? What now awaited me beyond the claiming grounds and their frequented routes? Surely those who’d known me would have a hard time recognizing me now… My mane and tail had grown unruly, because I simply hadn’t cared, and my coat had lost some of its luster. However, my eyes had maintained their fiery beauty, even if everything else had been left in shambles. Perhaps that was how I’d always been… Who I was, was more important than what others saw. That was and is enough for me. For a moment I paused to deliberate what might happen when I was finally, inevitably, approached by those waiting to find me. It was not because of my name or my previous positions in Helovia, but only because I was essentially new again, that they’d come. But what would they see when they got here? Would I be faced with bright eyes and a smile that curled lips like fine wine or would I find myself again in the company of someone I loved? Somehow, every option frightened my fragile resolution and that’s what kept me from wandering any deeper into the land I’d revisited too many times. I guess everyone had to start somewhere, even if I’d essentially started right here time and time again. Essetia & Romul OOC| Open to anyone RE: Thirteen Sad Farewells - Ghost - 11-29-2015 RE: Thirteen Sad Farewells - Elsa - 11-29-2015 Elsa I've cried, and you'd think I'd be better for it, but the sadness just sleeps, and it stays in my spine the rest of my life.
Unexpected was a word Elsa was beginning to become best friends with. RE: Thirteen Sad Farewells - Essetia - 11-29-2015 It didn’t take long for Romul to catch wind of the approaching duo and, when the shadowy figure of Ghost and her newly acquired companion parted the trees, I smiled. It was a loose, perfunctory gesture, that felt somewhat forced despite my happiness to see her, but present nonetheless. Slowly, I turned my wary gaze toward the wolf at her heels and nodded lightly, “Great minds think alike it seems.” Though entirely unfazed by Ghost’s almost awestruck reaction to my presence, I certainly felt new respect for her, if only because she appeared concerned. Had my absence affected her so greatly or was my return just solidification that I’d even been gone? Either way, I moved easily to her side in hopes of pressing my muzzle against her shoulder- a timid embrace between two lost sisters. “It’s nice to see someone remembered me,” I cajoled half-heartedly, “It is good to see you Ghost…” I assured. It was most likely the first time I hadn’t lied to myself about my emotions, but the familial bond we’d shared in the Hidden Falls, no matter how brief, was one that did not die easily. As an afterthought, I stepped away from the former Czarina and rejoined Romul some yards away. Still, he remained stoic and expressionless despite the wolven urge to approach his grey counterpart. I could feel his longing deep within the fiber of my being and it was something I would see released, if only to relieve myself of the obvious tension. “What’s his name?” I questioned of the Cadaverous while motioning for Romul to leave my shoulder. The snowy canine trotted forth with more enthusiasm than I’d seen in months with his tail erect and his ears pushed forward, alert. Clearly he had found good reason to rejoice our return now, even if it was not the reason I would have liked… While Romul was distracted by the giant grey, I turned once again to face the majestic mare with her red-tipped wings. She looked to be in good health and there was a certain liveliness about her that I hadn’t seen in the Falls. Of course, assumptions made fools of us all and I dismissed the thought just as quickly as it’d come. “Since I know what-,” I began with a soft jolt. Before I could reach the end of my inquiry another pale Pegasus emerged from the wood. It was a face I’d seen before and one I’d encountered amongst these very trees not so long ago. “Elsa,” I welcomed amusedly, “if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’d made the Threshold your humble abode.” Edgar flapped about frantically from his perch atop the mare’s poll and I cooed softly at the bird-like creature before deciding I was glad to have been blessed with a wolf. Romul certainly wouldn’t have been as lucky as Elsa’s little Zephyr if he’d been born any other species… Once the snow-flecked warrior explained Edgar’s raucous behavior, I looked to Ghost a little more questioningly than I should have. Where had the Czarina disappeared to that Elsa wouldn’t have known? Had she too left behind her responsibilities after the invasion? Somehow I doubted that, but it was clear that she’d gone somewhere. Although I wasn’t sure that Ghost would want to share the kind of information Elsa was curious about, I knew that I would…and with a little more guile than perhaps necessary. “I left,” I answered vaguely with a sly smile. “I assume you’ve come to scoop me up again? Always the lifesaver, you are,” I jested warmly. In truth, I knew both mares had come with the pretenses of recruiting, but I figured it would be best to let them state their business before jumping to any conclusions… After all, I didn’t know what had transpired in Helovia after my departure. Essetia & Romul @Ghost | I just assumed she didn't know his name yet >.> I couldn't remember her ever asking x.x If I'm wrong, I'll change it. RE: Thirteen Sad Farewells - Ghost - 12-02-2015 @Elsa @Essetia RE: Thirteen Sad Farewells - Elsa - 12-02-2015 Elsa I've cried, and you'd think I'd be better for it, but the sadness just sleeps, and it stays in my spine the rest of my life.
Holy hell she still couldn’t believe it. Even as they both spoke, and were physically there, Elsa was so afraid they were an apparition. Yet the conversation continued, and crazy reunion confusion ran rampant. Elsa was speechless, but couldn’t help but respond to Essetia’s sassy comment; the response was nearly instant. ”Here to save the damsel in distress, as always.” She smirked, and offered a playful wink and a short laugh. But now it was on to the important stuff, and Elsa turned to listen to Ghost. ooc;; sorry its a bit weird. >.> RE: Thirteen Sad Farewells - Essetia - 12-02-2015 I wanted to pretend that nothing had changed since last we were together, but of course denying what we all knew was virtually impossible. Lives had been altered, paths had been transformed, and those memories of what used to be were becoming just as distant as the horizon. I knew that much and I assumed both Ghost and Elsa felt the same. It was just happenstance that we had all come together again to face the ramifications left unheeded after the invasion. No one enjoyed withstanding the pain of truth and perhaps that’s why I’d fled Helovia in the first place. Of course, running from the past felt more like an ‘easy out’ than any revival strategy; I guess that’s just the workings behind the curtain when the show comes to an end. I’d always been better at running than facing the music anyway… I assumed it was a trait passed down by my father and later reluctantly embraced by his stubborn daughter. So much for walking in different figurative shoes- I’d completely emulated everything he’d ever done two times over. Everyone had their demons though, including Ghost it seemed. Though it was hard for me to say for certain, the quiet way in which the raven-colored mare regarded me made me think there was something on her mind. She spoke as though she was reminiscing earlier times, and maybe she was, but reminiscing didn’t always lead to better, faraway days. Sometimes it took the mind to dark corners of the memory where nothing but pain existed in a wasteland of empty ambitions. I’d visited that place too many times to count and found that avoiding the past altogether was far more beneficial and perhaps weak-minded. It pained me to imagine Ghost walking down a similar road, but there was nothing I could do to keep her from doing so. It was best to let sleeping dogs lie… or wander in her case. However, I was stricken with guilt when the Cadaverous admitted to wishing she’d found me earlier. It hurt me to realize that I hadn’t been around to find. “I wish things had happened differently for all of us,” I responded matter-of-factly. My gaze was not hard, but most certainly unwavering. The Hidden Falls had been the tie that held us all together and those ties had been cut when both the Edge and the Basin saw it fit to watch us bleed. Distractedly, I turned my attention to Fantôme and I watched as Romul bent his crooked snout toward the younger wolf’s shoulder. They were such simple creatures in my opinion. They were meant for pack life and often found ways to work easily within a hierarchy that still remained a mystery to me. Was that what had happened when the Falls was overtaken? Were we the subservient class meant to kneel before the Alphas? A slight grimace graced my lips as I listened to Ghost impart her recent whereabouts, and watched silently as Elsa struggled to put it all together. We all carried our burdens a little differently and somehow where one fell short, the other made up for it. That was what I had missed during my time alone… I missed my family and it appeared that I wasn’t alone. “No amount of trying could have saved us Ghost. We just weren’t prepared and that’s a fact that you shouldn’t have to question. It was never any fault of yours, but our own ability to place in trust in those who shouldn’t have been trusted,” I related almost angrily. No amount of trying could ever bury the rage left behind by the invasion, no matter how hard I tried to convince myself otherwise. I knew that my words were still somewhat unfeeling and moreover unhelpful, but how could I comfort someone when I could barely comfort myself? Moving on to less dense topics felt like a relief from the fire burning within, but that flame was only ignited when Elsa claimed to have taken up residence back in the World’s Edge. I couldn’t blame her, much less be angry with her for taking an opportunity when it was presented, but there was a soft-edged blade against my heart that threatened to spur my skepticism and doubt. Ghost on the other had had gone south to the Dragon’s Throat after a run-in with a beast named Archibald. Though I knew it was brash of me to desire it, I wished revenge on the creature that would lay a hand on the Cadaverous, my former Leader. “The Edge is a beautiful place Elsa… the land itself captivates the soul. Just be careful of its secrets,” I tried calmly, without success. My eyes wandered the soft planes of her face and found her genuine heart there in her loving stare. I hated to imagine any life not built on honesty for the lady of the snow, but was happy enough to know that the land by the sea was likely remastered by hands not stained by deceit. “I too found comfort in the Throat for a time before my leave,” I informed lightly. “However, I guess I’m looking to rejoin the family life. Being alone hasn’t been good for my health,” I joked with a slight wink. Yet, where could I go now that was not a land estranged from my heart? Essetia & Romul @Elsa @Ghost RE: Thirteen Sad Farewells - Ghost - 12-06-2015 @Elsa RE: Thirteen Sad Farewells - Elsa - 12-07-2015 Elsa I've cried, and you'd think I'd be better for it, but the sadness just sleeps, and it stays in my spine the rest of my life.
She immediately regretted forking out the information to where she had moved. Even though they were both civil, a pang of anger at herself even welled from within. It seemed like a cop out to go there; almost like she had given up herself and surrendered. Ghost at least made a minute effort to keep the conversation on track. She wanted to know who led the Edge. Well, at this point, she wasn’t even sure herself. ”Mauja and Torleik were chosen at first- but both have since been absent. Tembovu has stepped up in their place.” She shrugged. The first two leaders they may have known, but she doubted they knew Tembovu. Even Elsa didn’t know him until she moved to the Edge. It made her wonder when he had arrived. He climbed the ranks rather quickly. ”Other than that, it’s actually going really well. We started off with very few, but we seem to have grown exponentially in the last few months. Needless to say it’s a lot more crowded now.” True that, she’d never seen so many horses around at once. She doubted the Falls had ever seen those numbers while she was here. @Essetia RE: Thirteen Sad Farewells - Essetia - 12-07-2015 If I was to look, and I mean truly look, at those who surrounded me now, what would I find? Would I find friendship or acquaintances, sisterhood or mere allies? These were the kinds of questions that so often interrupted my dreams with their heaviness and doubt. However, no matter how I tried to turn the image, I found no snags in the paper and no lines upon the surface… I felt safe. That was something I’d been searching for it seemed, no matter how far I thought I had to wander to find it. I’d been mistaken like so many times before, because everything in my heart that mattered was right here in Helovia. These faces were the ones that meant the most and I was torn between again joining Elsa in her pursuits to support the Edge or return once more with Ghost to the Throat. After all, the Cadaverous was in fact my mentor and teacher… perhaps it was time I resumed my place beneath her wing. Ghost had never led me astray and that was a fact that I’d been clinging to since she’d arrived. We were creatures cut of the same cloth in some regards and our hearts beat for the mystery behind the hunt and not the chase itself. However, Elsa had shown me the difference between duty and family. She had given me purpose while in the Falls and taught me that my servitude was not for my own benefit, but for the benefit of the whole. So, while Ghost entertained the Edge’s new General, I mulled over my decisions looking for answers that I wasn’t sure I’d find. I listened patiently as Elsa explained the new leadership in the World’s Edge and nodded distractedly when she named the lucky bloke strong enough to defy the Moon’s enigmatic hold over the land and sea. Yet, I missed the everlasting heat of the South and the way the sand seemed to stretch across the desert plains in waves of rich beige. They were an old string of souls that somehow came together as some of the most renowned warriors in Helovia, but was I the kind of creature who took pleasure in so much light? “Tembovu… interesting name I suppose,” I added as an afterthought and feeble attempt to rejoin the conversation. “I assume Gaucho still reigns in the South?” I questioned of the Cadaverous while glancing toward Romul, who blissfully ignored my attempts to weigh his own opinions on the matter. The wolf was certainly more pleased with his new companion than he’d been with my many questionable endeavors throughout the past few years. The Cadaverous had admitted her rise to my old position, but I felt no malice toward her for doing what she did best. Perhaps her rise to power would allow me to follow in her footsteps once again… “You said the desert would welcome me back?” I finally blurted with little remorse. Clearly I hadn’t been following their adherence to proper banter and the like, but surely they’d come to know me well enough by now. I was certainly not Elsa when it came to how I lived my life, although at times I tried to be… “If that’s the case, I’d like to return and hopefully make up for the time I was away.” Perhaps it didn’t matter that I’d disappeared for a time… perhaps they’d understand my woes once again. Essetia & Romul @Elsa @Ghost | You all killed me. x.x RE: Thirteen Sad Farewells - Ghost - 12-12-2015 RE: Thirteen Sad Farewells - Elsa - 12-13-2015 Elsa I've cried, and you'd think I'd be better for it, but the sadness just sleeps, and it stays in my spine the rest of my life.
The more the conversation went on, the more and more she could feel her chances fading away. Why did she expect Essetia to follow anyway? Just because she recruited last time did not mean she trusted her. And who from the Falls would want to join the Edge? Only a fool, obviously. That is what Elsa proved herself to be; a fool. RE: Thirteen Sad Farewells - Essetia - 12-13-2015 It hurt. It always hurt to see how the past could weigh on someone and be unable to change it. If I could go back and restore Elsa’s happiness, I would do so. If I could go back and help Ghost recover from the grief of losing her family, position, and land, I would do so. Of course, there was nothing I could could do now that I didn’t try then. I could remember so clearly my attempted escape form the Basin. I could recall so visibly the anxiety and the worry that I felt when I could not… But we’d all survived somehow. Some of us had prevailed as shells of what we once were and others returned in pieces, but we’d survived hadn’t we? There may have only been months between now and then, and the ties between us may have been strained, but I knew that I would not leave my friends without comfort and without support. Yet, I also knew that we had first to grieve before we could forgive or move forward. It was strange that we operated so easily under the pretenses of happiness when each of carried unspeakable burdens… It was just as strange that we each tried to ignore the pain that existed at the root of this meeting and how it would feel when put that pain behind us. I smiled and laughed at the mention of Gaucho and I proffered an amused “I would have to think so,” when the conversation was turned in my direction. But it felt forced and fake. I was due to be a spy again in the Throat, Elsa was presumably thriving in the Edge, and Ghost had accepted her placement in the desert. Was this where we thought we’d be now? Probably not. Was this how I wanted our meeting to end? No. But what could I do when Elsa turned her eyes from me, their softness growing softer from the loss and betrayal? I didn’t know that the snowy mare had children in the south and I didn’t think I’d heard of them before, but the General certainly appeared to feel alienated from our borders. I didn’t want her to be. It hurt. I turned away from the World’s Edge and from Elsa and her grief, uncertain how I could change the way she was feeling. So instead I paused, with a slight grimace turning my lips, and spoke to the girl over my shoulder. “She will be taken care of Elsa and so will you. Do not be shy… we’ll be around. You’re the strongest you’ve ever been my friend, don’t you forget that.” But in truth, we were all weak without each other. Essetia & Romul |