[P] How to love - Printable Version +- HELOVIA || The Way to the Sun (http://helovia.com) +-- Forum: Out of Character (http://helovia.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=1) +--- Forum: Archives (http://helovia.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=11) +--- Thread: [P] How to love (/showthread.php?tid=22145) |
||||
How to love - Zandora - 12-26-2015
RE: How to love - Ashamin - 12-28-2015 Ashamin Rakt was slower by choice. Lochan had always moved fast, bounded forward and ahead to see as much as possible as he could. But Rakt stayed behind, trailing stardust and breathing heavily. His gate was slow and determined, his body weighted down by pounds of fur that Lochan did not have. It was Orangemoon, Frostfall was drawing close, and the whole trio was growing out a thicker coat but Rakt had simply been born with one. It was beautiful. Ashamin had woken at the sunset and seen his two companions huddled close, the gentle details of Lochan's delicate features lost in the folds and fuzz of the reddened fur of his new brother. Rakt, already almost Lochan's dwarfed size, was completely serene. He was noble, majestic even. Ashamin had guarded them the whole day, watched them with care. When the sun set, the two young cerndyr had lifted their tails and risen on thin legs to walk. Thus, the three of them had set out into the rising evening and started on a path to wander. After Rakt's birth the three had taken time alone and within the confines of the cave to learn of each other: now, they needed to learn of the outside world as a family. With every step, Ashamin thought of that word. Family. It had meant something small to him once, but now with Lochan and Rakt, with Rexanna's no their child on the way, family was larger. He picked across the snow and left deer prints behind, prints accompanied by those of his companions. How many more would follow? Was it good to have so many shadows, left to melt in the harsh light of day? No, perhaps he should hide them in the dark. And Ashamin may have--may have kept his feelings within--were it not for the flickering of light in the distance. Lochan pulled them towards it with urgency; Rakt followed with a lazy, slow pace, as if he already understood fire's original spark. As they grew closer and the light became a flame, the flame a fire, a familiar shape stood out as a silhouette before it's bright. She cast shadows on the snow that bled into the night. These were fitting, fleeting marks for Zandora to make. Just seeing those traces of her hurt. Ashamin's breath caught, and were it not for the persistence of his companions (who walked past and towards the flame, revealing Ashamin's position behind her) he would have turned his long tail and run. She was the last thing he could see right now, the last thing he could handle. He had hurt so many, been hurt, and soon he would be the father of a child. His jittery, scared heartbeat leapt in his throat and out it, finding its way towards the chest of the mare he'd once broken to the point of bleeding. How would her heart beat now? Had the ribs healed, the hurt gone away? How could he face her now? How? "" "" @Zandora (don't tag me, just tell me on Skype.) RE: How to love - Zandora - 01-02-2016
RE: How to love - Ashamin - 01-12-2016 Ashamin Her question stung. It put the blame of their not speaking on him in a way Ashamin couldn't handle, and the small creature on her back--presumably an earned companion--cast a glare that felt similarly accusatory. Without thinking the haruspex found himself drawing back his head, his features turning down with displeasure and his body language immediately defensive. "Life is long and these lands are large, Zandora. It's not as though I've been avoiding you," he lied with instant regret, "and it's not like you sought me out, either." His white tail waved slowly, forcibly, as he tried to cease its lashing. He returned her gesture but stiffly, tired and uncertain even as his cheek touched hers. His ears drew black slowly, flickering with surprised impatience. Was this really how she was to greet him, after so long? Maybe he'd changed--as the light flickered across Zandora's coat, he saw that she certainly was in the process of just that herself. Maybe it was something about this Orangemoon in particular that was striking all the mares with a childbearing fever. The five eyes borne by his companions looked out at him with differing expressions. Lochan's bore hurt, as he knew Zandora and her past with his bonded. Rakt showed only a vague and disinterested sort of all-knowingness. Whatever was happening now was something he could observe without fear or wonder, because in his mind he already understood its cause. Ashamin didn't have time to correct the young red cerndyr, didn't have time to teach him the complications of a love like this. No one did. "But I see you're still living well. A companion is an important addition to anyone's life, it's good to see you matched so well with one." He looked sternly upon the judgemental little cat. Was that a dig? Was he proud of her, or was he simply unsurprised that she'd been matched with a predator? The buck wasn't sure where the hostility came from, and even as he spoke with such politeness it was difficult for someone outside of his mind to catch wind of, but it was hard for him to shake. He thought he had heard her say that she missed him, was it true? He knew he'd missed her too, he knew he needed to say it back because it was simply the truth, but he couldn't. No one could. "" "" @Zandora RE: How to love - Zandora - 02-02-2016
RE: How to love - Ashamin - 03-30-2016 Ashamin Zandora, Zandora... Ashamin had all the compassion in the world for her. He could have told her the honest truth, which was that he loved her in a way he did not love others. She was the precious darkling whom he had broken, the beast that had struck him back. She had a shadow in her that mirrored his own. They were so alike, so... broken. But when she did not fight back, when she turned so quickly to sorrow and left him alone as a villain, Ashamin found himself only more frustrated with the situation. His black eyes were cold and showed none of the pity, the empathy, the love that he felt for the mare dressed in black and plum. "Did I tell you I wanted you to go? Why are you sorry?" His tail lashed, his companions turned away from him and the mare. This was not their business. "I'm doing the best that I can, Z. But this... this is hard." This? What was this? "I'm tired of telling everyone I'm ok. I'm tired of pretending I'm happy all the time." Because he wasn't ok. Because he wasn't always happy. He did not take on his typical depressed turn, he did not let sadness overcome him. He looked irritated and he acted short tempered because he was both of those things. He was sick and he was tired of all the crap everyone made him put up with. And it wasn't that he considered that to be any fault of Zandora, but... maybe in some way it was. His voice was cold, commanding. His eyes were sharp and he stood stiff, unwilling to move close and offer her the warm kindness she deserved. "I need you to stop putting yourself down and presenting yourself to me as an object of shame, because I don't have the energy to keep this herd's head up anymore," Ashamin said with a growl of a sigh, a turn away from her gaze. "You are good. You are strong. You can be that without me, you must know that." Don't you? "" "" @Zandora RE: How to love - Zandora - 05-15-2016
|