The cold was nothing to Faelene, it was familiar company, and her coat had long started preparing for the harsh months ahead. If her heart had not beating so quickly she may have noticed it was dropping in degrees. The red maned lady's thoughts were upon Leander, almost wishing to hear his. She told herself it would not make a difference;nothing would change her mind.


She fought the wince that wanted to capture her face. It was never easy hiding such things, and carrying them around. How much was he doing that now? "How lucky for you," she more calmly answered, but her voice was starting to become empty of anything. As if she was somewhere else, though she lingered so close to him. Soon she thought she was secure in her choice, he said something that made her want to change things. It would not be so easy, least not for her. "No, it's never entered my mind to wish you harm. But I wish I could make you understand it was not long ago the sight, the sound of wings terrorized me...that I would be caught...I would be nothing...again."


The force of her other words had not been meant to hurt him, but snap him into reality, to make him understand there was nothing for them. He took them steadily, giving her something else to mull over. Why, why did he have to be decent? Silver orbs softened, knowing he was putting himself out there not completely fragile, but exposed. "There is no denying that," more sweetly she answered trying to keep from frowning. She knew what he said to be true, and he believed it to his core. "What happens if you make it out alive to only wish you were dead?" As it escaped her tongue she wasn't sure if he would understand. Eyes were desperately searching....clinging to his. If this was love, and they pledged themselves what would be the price they paid? She wanted no world which she found love to have it taken from her. It was her pure reason for not getting instantly attached to anyone.

Again she did not mean to pour more salt into the open wound, but half of her really wanted him to hate her. Seeing as he was nothing but patient and kind, hanging on a string of hope, she did not know what else to do."It's fine, I'm more upset with myself." She confided, letting her chin alter upward to convey her sincerity. Ears cast in his direction, attentively listening as he continued to speak."Me too," she sadly murmured," but I can't instantly change who I am or what has made me this way."

Slowly she forced back the lump in her throat, letting her ears perk up again at his deep, soft tone. His herd harbored no prejudice, it should have made her feel better.....but it didn't. The change to his cream colored face it did not help. It made her feel more terrible, because she would kill that hope. "Leander, it is not that simple. If it was I would not have moved from your touch, and be lingering here in want......trying to make you see no good can come of it or me."