As she spoke she avoided Kaj's gaze, anticipating that when she looked at him there would be pity painted across his face. She did not want his pity, she only wanted him to understand why she kept her distance. Why she had to keep her distance. He and Kahlua could call her 'friend' if they wanted but she could not return the sentiment because returning it would mean setting herself up to be hurt once more. She would call them 'King' and 'Queen' and she would serve them as their advisor to the best of her abilities, btu she could not be a friend. She could feel Tallis' strong disapproval of her choice as he laid upon the king's back and stared at her.

The orange mare looked up when Kaj told her 'No' when she'd apologized a second time. She didn't believe that it was really an honor for him to hear of the soap opera that had been her life, but she appreciated the sentiment. As he spoke again she shook her head. "Violence is never truly appropriate." She spoke softly, addressing his outburst of hanging those that had hurt her out for the vultures. "Even though I've been hurt I hold no ill will toward any of them. I do wish to forget them at times, but I never wish them any harm and I would hope that if they were to arrive you would not harm them." For as many times as she'd been hurt she still loved the ones that she had let into her life even if she didn't want to anymore.

Guilt weighed heavily on her as Kaj continued to speak, calling her his sister, friend, blood and soul. She wished that she could say the same and perhaps in time she would be able to if she were able to shake off the notion that being alone was safe. "I appreciate that, Kaj. Really, I do." She let a small smile curve the corners of her mouth upward. She could not say that she didn't trust his words, the stallion had never done anything to prove himself untrustworthy. Maybe it was herself that she didn't trust because he was a stallion that she could love, one that she could fall in love with if she allowed herself to. She'd only be setting herself up for disaster, for another broken heart and she'd be breaking Kahlua's heart as well. It was yet another reason for her to keep her distance and keep whatever relationship they had purely professional.

Their conversation shifted, once more, to Kahlua and Evangeline was thankful to be drawn away from her thoughts. She did not want to open the doors to the idea of love and of seeing Kaj in another light. "Sallions are just as important as mares." Evangeline said, still unable to understand Kaj's reasoning. "Your happiness is just as important as Kahlua's." She felt that she would never be able to drive that point home. She might as well be talking to the broken down glass wall that surrounded the Edge. She didn't think that he would be doubting himself so much if he were truly in love with the Queen. The honest part of herself wanted to tell him as much, but the bleeding heart romantic inside of her wanted Kahlua to have a chance at love with Kaj.

"I think you need to take some time and think about it." She said instead because she did not want to intentionally sway his decision. She wanted him to think for himself and come to a decision of his own accord. "Think about the doubts that you have are really doubts or if its fear... whatever those fears might be. I can tell you this much from my own personal experience. When I fell in love with Validino I had no doubts that I was in love."

"."

@[Kaj]