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If you had really looked you would've already seen.
If you had really listened you would've already understood.
...Maren did listen to the words he spoke, the thoughts that he projected from his ascended mouth - even though it was nothing but shitty nonsense to her. Her frown deepened and her gaze followed the sea which foam brushed over the sands, and her eyes locked themselves there; endlessly looking at the matt and sparkling grains with troubled bearings, the closures of her lips forging deep endings of a thin line. The Ascended spoke some more - and she still listened - finally seeming to have remembered their conversation - and her hopes for an easy ending flared. Maren's eyes, which lay filled with anticipation, shot at his when he called 'bridge'. For that purified moment her pained frown had disappeared, but then: "...and Maren's wings ..." The moment of hope had past like a ghost that never was.
"Tssk...", she hissed softly, embracing her frown and accepting the biting anger as her muscles tensed. But what or who was really falling short? Was it her manner of adapting, or was it his consideration? She had no clue anymore, only knew about the biting and nagging of the feelings inside her, picking at her soul and made it swell. But she still hold her tongue - was still hesitating. It was not enough, for the feeling of betrayal lingered underneath the surface of the frozen lake that covered the marble floors of her mind, reflecting the dark ceiling.
Gaucho moved his brightly flaming wings to the place where some idiotic pillars were to be constructed sometime soon, to show her how the key worked - for his mind had conceived that the mare was incapable of using the simple item. What were his thoughts, really? Somehow his failed understanding made her feel lonely and stupid. She peeked once at him before she childishly turned away her pearl-white head to the dark-blue shaded part of the beach, for she did not want to watch. Stillness lay in her field of vision, stillness and maybe peace. She blinked, finding her throat getting cramped and her teeth crushed. She heard him, his words claiming her ears while her feathered hand lay silently wrapped around her head. But she didn't want to anymore.
The bridge had inflamed - as had the fire-pit, she noticed, as their light flickered and reflected in a natural rhytm against the sand in the corners of her eyes. Cold sea wind prickled and punctured her averted cheek, raffled her ivory feathers while damp left her nostrils. Yes, wings. Then, with the speed only rage could facilitate she turned her head to Gaucho, her Sultan.
"Wings - Wings of FIRE..." the tigermare spat, hissing dangerously like a snake with words of disgust and fury, as if her words were flames themselves. Moving her trembling body to face Gaucho, she drilled her burgundy shaded eyes in his, dripping of fear. "You couldn't even TELL me then?" It was almost a plea, for her words echoed her hopelessness, anger and confusion. Why wouldn't he have told me? She tried to swallow her hopelessness, but it was just another pathetic attempt. For a moment she didn't know what to say to him, even though she had all the words scrambled together in a pile in her head, ready to be randomly picked. But she picked silence, so for that moment she just looked at Gaucho, eyes of chaos - and trying to say words - but unable to do speech when she attempted to breath them out; failing while the warm fire crackled, searching for the coziness it would not get. There was nothing but coldness in this fiery, lit up night. Her outlandish tongue had not changed its tone, did still carry rage mixed with confusion... and a question of why twisted in between it all. "No one brags about their fears, Gaucho, no one brags about what caused them", for there was only pain there, in those memories they marked. "...And yet I told you mine." She looked at Gaucho, not feeling any better then when she hadn't said words of pretense of all knowing. Her hatred did not even completely lay with her Sultan; for it was, after all, not even him she was fighting; Just herself and her fears and she took him with her in all the chaos and disarray she felt.
"YOU COULDN'T EVEN TELL ME?" The muscles in her jaw had tightened, feathers clinging to her slightly trembling skin, the hot and cold lingering in her body.
She didn't stop there. "I understand, Gaucho. You are the warrior, the King that wishes to fulfill his holy duty of protecting his people. But realize that you are as much protecting, as you are casting out that what could be of value, too." It was the most selfish thing she had ever said. Felt like she was trying to put a sword through his heart by first letting it go through hers. For she would lose more than just her temper if she let go of more poetry calling upon distrust. But it had washed over her all at once, flooded the little sanity she had left as a chill, like death splashed in her face. Fear ruled her imagination and struck down the sense of her brain as she could not do anything other than to burn it down to anger. Even when that would mean that she would echo in his mind as that mare that knew all and feared all forever. For flames were his world, and how could she ever explain it to those born and deified in them? She just needed the light... Just the light, and she would be happy.
And to be honest, she did not even rage upon Gaucho in order to get him to find a solution for her. No, she was a full-grown mare and she would figure that out eventually herself - perhaps even if she wasn't fully aware of that. The tigermare merely sought his understanding, had a desperate need to know that she could trust him like she had never trusted another. Wanted him to know that she was here and that she had this problem. For even now, he was her Sultan. And if Gaucho had already forgotten about her, how would he ever be able to remind himself of her again?
I just want to go home. "You fucking locked me out.", her voice trembled. For she was, even now, sure he had known. For her mind could not understand how he hadn't. And he hadn't forgotten. And he had simply been incapable of seeing into the shadows now that the Sun had put him in his ascended Sunlit throne. "... Or will you ask me to pretend that my fears do simply not exist?"
She took a deep breath. "...Will you ask me to adjust?"
@[Gaucho] || Notes: || Wordcount: 1149 || "talking" ||
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