A rock. A solid wall. Something to shield her from everything. Aye, he was so much younger than she. But, she had lost too many - dealt with too much. She clung to every shred of happiness that she even thought was left. If Alleo came back, she'd be happy. If she could just… anything. Oh there was no damn point. He flinches at the mention of Midas. All emotion left him, said he was dead. Her breath caught in her chest. His father… Ettore nuzzles into Cera's withers - offering the emotion and the support that she was unable to bring to the surface at this point.

Her mind fell blank. The world seeming to collapse around her. He had been granted immortality, a position near the Gods and he was dead. She can't. Her mind is spinning. Nothing was sacred anymore, and she's suddenly ready to collapse completely. The tug of her mane brings some of her back - keeps her from collapsing in a ball of empty panic and allows her to focus in on his words. His breath pooled against her flesh and when he says she deserves so much better she doesn't know what to think. "Never allowed… I'd outlive them… He helped me when I couldn't speak…" she's spouting random words - no thoughts truly forming in her head just random flashes of images. "Don't deserve love…" she finally chokes out, tears building in her eyes as Ettore snaps at her. "The dirt no get love. You not dirt." He's hissing, ready to smack her with his wings. He cannot find the right words to chastise her yet, but if he could she knew that she would have gotten a mouthful from him.

She asks if she would feel pain if she stabbed a branch into her flesh and he says that she would. That it wouldn't ignore the pain signals regardless of how numb she felt. Her mind, broken off into a haze, pull the branches from the ground. Sharpening the roots, and then, before Cera had a chance to try and stop her, she slashes herself along her barrel. Aye, not deep enough to damage muscle, but enough to cause blood to begin to percolate from her side. She didn't even flinch when it cut into her, she just stood there - taking the pain. He spoke of asking Gaucho to kill him and she can only snarl. "You would ask Gaucho. He'd be the only one ignorant enough to give it you," she's choking on her haze. The pain in her side is so sharp but it doesn't feel like a part of her. It's this separate entity, and she just wants the numbness to fade. He says that he's whole, that he's okay, and that she can achieve it too.

Oh, how she doubts this. "I felt with Alleo…" she's whispering, before choking out about how she doesn't know what she is supposed to do to fix it. "Cera… make me feel something. Everything is wrong!" A choked sob. And then Cera's backing away and she feels her whole world fall out from under her. She's alone, on a hill, waiting to be invaded. Her lands a game for the other immortals. Then a prison. A prison with a babe in her belly. A babe she still didn't know whether they were alive or not. Love given and ripped from her grasp over and over. A sick game she was having to repeat, never ending. She wants to scream at him not to leave her, but she couldn't get the words out anyway.

Then, as her mind struggles to place anything around her she feels a head against hers, breath matching hers - his breath exhaling on her inhale. She clings to the feeling of his frame - still not really sure what she was supposed to be feeling. "I'll just piss Gaucho off again." she murmurs before adding, "I never fit in there. I don't have wings," a broken cry of uncertainty. "You're… you're the only thing I consider family left… but I'm no use to anyone like this… Why would they even be willing to take me in when I can't help. I want to be with you - but they… I'm not like them."

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@Cera
#she'snotreallyhere