i am a leaf on the wind

They laugh at her joke, and she grins just a bit more. It was true, teal makes for a terrible camouflage. Corbin had always managed well enough, when they played games though. A trick he refused to teach Lyanna, probably so he could keep winning at hide-and-seek. She’s sure he would have eventually, but of course, they always assumed they had the rest of their lives. A few years away in the army, and he’d be back. A few years away for her (though they’d never have let her near a real fight, unlike Corbin) in her own turn through their army, and they’d both be done and home.

Oh, the best laid plans…stop.
 
“I would love to,” she says, genuinely happy to help Aly learn to fly. It’s not as if she has much else to do, and it’s not as if she’s much good at anything else around here. That, at least, she can do. Particularly for the only mare that she could really consider a friend around here. Friend and mentor, which is more than Lyanna can ask for, and everything that she needs. So yes, she’ll spend all her time teaching Aly to fly. It’s the least she can do.
 
It’s clear too that Alysanne understands the meaning behind Lyanna’s words, the unspoken hesitation. She begins talking about calling a new place home, and already Lyanna’s stomach clenches and her heart just hurts and she wants to take to the sky and disappear. Stay put. Her face stays calm though, the mask of a well-trained Princess. She is thankful for that, if nothing else.
 
She keeps going, offering to listen if Lyanna ever wants, and she nearly cracks. Nearly breaks down into tears in front of her superior in the middle of a conversation that likely seems like something else. Had she ever stopped and actually cried? No. She can’t remember ever just grieving. She’s moped and flown and wandered and wallowed. But she never simply cried. Never talked.
 
Was it because she was trained not to do these things? Princesses don’t cry, and they don’t complain. Or was it because she was afraid to say it aloud? Afraid of what others might think. Afraid to make it real. Or would saying it finally just give her some sense of peace, instead of dragging her heart into the ground. “I’m glad you were able to go visit. It's always good to see family, when you can. But I admit, you do seem like you belong here.”
 
She tries to smile, but it’s not as convincing as it normally is. She tries to keep her voice level, happy, but it cracks just slightly on the word visit. Maybe she’d find Adalene one day. But everyone else was gone. Home was no longer home. It was this, or nothing. “Thank you,” she says at the offer as well, torn between letting everything out in a rush of actual emotion or letting the conversation move on.
 
She lets the conversation move on. Maybe someday, but she can’t bring the words to the surface yet.
 
The rest of the conversation is surprising, and her smile returns to its usual brightness, reaching her eyes again. “I would be honored.” Because she really is. She never dreamed this meeting was a promotion. A task maybe, or a lesson or some sort. But not a promotion. “Thank you,” she says again, feeling more and more like she owes Aly far more than she will ever be able to repay. 

watch how i soar.

lyanna