Loneliness and fear were best friends, always connected at the hip. And between them they kept Nayati pressed close, never letting up, always cackling down snowy ears. Behind them trailed self-hatred and low self-esteem, the twins that would appear to take up residence at her sides when the previous two would grow unhappy with whatever company she had found. Life wasn’t easy, though perhaps it was a good thing Nayati had never been fooled as a babe that it was. Though she was hardly two seasons old, she felt far too wise and old. Though wise was not a good word. Worldly, maybe? Ruby eyes, the color of passion, had only ever acquainted the color with that of blood and pain from all she had seen. Most of it in her own distorted reflection. Insanity seemed to have gone through similar twisted trials, though Nayati fervently hoped it was later on in her life. Now, Nayati needed her guidance in order to preserve what was left of her hidden innocence. Beneath all the feelings of the quadruplets that followed her every move she was still pure inside, but Nayati feared that it was going to become tainted if she did not do something. Looking at Insanity, the princess didn’t feel pity. Pity was a terrible thing to feel towards someone else, for it put them below you. No, Nayati felt a sense of understanding and sympathy towards the mare. She didn’t deserve the hardships of life, none of them, and Nayati almost wanted to blame the gods. Logic cut right through that childish concept. The gods did not decide their every step, did not throw obstacles at them out of cruelty. What did they care for the lives of mortals, who were a mere blink in the existence of their souls? No, you controlled your own fate. Hating the gods merely made you childish, someone pointing the finger because you could not turn it on yourself. Nayati would not become that person, for she would control her own future whether others liked it or not.
Dark eyes turned and Nayati met her gaze solidly, no longer afraid of the darkness she was possibly stumbling into. Insanity had already paved the way before her; all she had to do was follow. ”I can. I may falter, but I can and I will. I will find my smile, because there is too much darkness in this world to move through it with a cloud above your head to add to the smog.” Wise words from one so young, speech far older than her meager four months of life. At this age she should still be stumbling over words, but life had never been fair. Some were chosen to grow faster in order to survive, but it made them all the stronger in the long run. Looking on that side instead of the growing darkness was a better decision, in Nayati’s mind. No doubt the journey would be hard. Nayati would probably curse everyone and everything at some point, crumble to pieces, but she would pick herself up because she had worked too hard to simply live.
She would live for Svetlana, who had given her that life back when she had been too weak to continue on.
|
.svg/2000px-Google_Chrome_icon_(2011).svg.png){kind=icon}
