|
A r y e l | K r i
- - - - -
By my verdict KRI is the winner.
Kri can now use the battle buff AIM. Remember you must say which 2 battle buffs you are using in the first fight post you make for them to count!
ARYEL -- post 1 (attack only)
[Realism]
+ 1| Attack: charging bite to shoulder – which side, right or left?
+ 1| Attack: fore hoof flail
[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy read
KRI -- post 1
[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: avoids bite – this defense was a difficult one to me. It would have been very plausible if you turned left, but because you turned right, into the side she was attacking, it seems likely you would have been hit in some way, even if not injured by that hit due to your momentum and angle. However… due to the fact Aryel states she jumps back immediately after aiming her nip, it is very likely that she wouldn’t have re-aimed her attack, or continued to go forward, as is generally assumed with charge attacks, because she was already working on running backwards. So, because of that I decided to keep this a positive defense.
+ 1| Attack: bucks
0| Defense: scratched on barrel – not sure you needed to, or even could take this since she described it as she retreated then threw her hooves out to help protect herself
+ 1| Attack: wing flail
[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy read
ARYEL -- post 2
[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: buck to shoulder – I’m not sure this would shove her back really, certainly not a few paces. You were already heading backwards at this point, and the buck was not a fully extended one, therefore less powerful. This would mostly just cause large bruising.
- 1| Injury: no mention of pain or sustained injury from taking the buck
- 1| Attack: bite to flank – I was uncertain if you meant this attack failed immediately because of Kri’s wings, or if it was still possible to land, and whether or not this bite became the wing bite, or if they were two separate attacks still… Either way you are on Kri’s right side and shouldn’t be able to reach her left flank at the moment.
+ 1| Defense: smacked by wing
+ 1| Attack: hoof dive to back – although if you’re trying not to maim, aiming for someone’s spine isn’t your best bet :P
*I only read the OOC comments Boom provides after providing my own judgments, as I would not like to be influenced but still am curious to read them, and saw something I wanted to bring up. She mentions the powerplay of you switching your attack to her wing and writing yourself as missing it – it is perhaps the most subtle case of powerplay I have ever seen, and ultimately I chose not to count it because in the end there was no negative impact from it on Kri.
[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy read
KRI -- post 2
[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: bite blocked by wings
+ 1| Defense: rises to meet the dive, scraped on haunch
+ 1| Attack: buck
+ 1| Attack: dive to nape
[Prose]
+ 2| Emotion
+ 2| Flow
+ 1| Easy read
ARYEL -- post 3
[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: kick to barrel
+ 1| Defense: mane grabbed
+ 1| Attack: bites back at neck – an awkward position, but considering Kri had to lean down to bite your neck, it is plausible you could reach back to bite her neck, but most likely you’d only have the side in reach and only if this was done in quick succession.
[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion
+ 1| Flow
+ 1| Easy read
KRI -- post 3
[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: drop and lurch right to have your withers bit
+ 1| Attack: push her – a tricky situation I was inclined to think wouldn’t work, but after fighting with my hands for a while I think I was finally able to picture the same thing you were.
+ 1| Attack: head colliding with her neck or jaw
+ 1| Defense: hurt by the collision
[Prose]
+ 2| Emotion
+ 2| Flow
- 1| Easy read – pretty confusing predicament in the end of your post, more detail might have helped clarify
ARYEL -- post 4 (defense only)
[Realism]
+ 1| Defense: shoved down
+ 1| Defense: jaw clipped
- 1| Attack: wings to sides – you cannot attack in this post
ARYEL
[Bonus]
+ 2| Surroundings
+ 1| Breed
[Injuries]
None.
[Creativity]
+ 1| I loved how you had Aryel drop a few feet after being struck in the air in your third post! Wonderfully described.
Comments: You have done incredibly well on this fight, and I saw you improving with each post. Definitely you want to remember to include which sides your attacking, as this helps provide clarity for your judge and opponent, but also makes your attack occur as you visualized since not giving a side can allow your opponent to choose. You have some great ideas for attack and defense, but I get the feeling you’re still grappling with fighting with a horse body because sometimes, and only slightly, not all of your attack placements made sense given the positions of Aryel and Kri at the time. Remember to that injuries you sustain need to be described more, even if it’s just saying that there’s swelling, an inevitable bruise, some torn skin but no blood etc. I got a sense of your trying to add emotion in, but I wanted to see and feel more. What is the thought process happening behind each and every attack and defense she provides? Why does she do what she does? You said she nervous and panicking fighting in the air, but don’t tell me those things, show them to me! Otherwise you did great and keep at it :)
KRI
[Bonus]
+ 1| Surroundings
[Injuries]
None.
[Creativity]
+ 1| Using your wings to help you dodge in that first post.
Comments: I definitely saw an improvement in your prose with this! I felt a lot more emotion from Kri and your flow was excellent. Your posts can sometimes be difficult to understand, or more so require me to really think and map out what you’re doing, but I think this is more related to some crazy acrobatics you do than any lack on your part, but perhaps try and re-read to make sure you’re really being clear in these cases. As always you have a great sense for attacking and dodging, and I love how well you fight as a pegasus, utilizing all of the awkward traits of wings and aerial battles. I would definitely suggest trying to remember to include your surroundings and breed differences in the future! Otherwise lovely job.
TOTAL
ARYEL - 70
KRI - 74
|
.svg/2000px-Google_Chrome_icon_(2011).svg.png){kind=icon}
⇒
Heartbeats like a Drum. [Aryel]
