Was this a dream? Did he really stand on the very edge of the world with wind whipping the silk of the mane, so tightly pressed against Mirage's side that he could feel her heartbeats? It felt unreal. The overcast sky, the rush and roar of cold waves crashing against the pale rock, the cry of gulls that echoed through the air, even the low chatter as their dragons reconfirmed their friendship seemed almost too vivid, too clear and detailed. His head felt numb, thoughts flooded and overloaded with emotions struggling towards the surface of his consciousness, a mind too overwhelmed by the warmth of the silken muzzle that caressed his neck. Lace felt reckless, guilty, daring and horrified over the unusual thoughts and emotions that filled him, but the usual composure had been overruled by a craving to remain like this until time ended. He didn't pull away, and as the familiar, exotic voice of his queen reached the twitching ears he felt muscles relax once more, tail beginning to swish back and forth a few times, gently tickling her inky hocks.
"I would never leave you" he said simply. "How could I? You're the closest to a family I've had since I left my mothers side over seven years ago. Fajira is a part of me, a sister and a piece of my soul, and you..." He suddenly hesitated, daunted by the prospect of uttering out loud what had just stolen through his thoughts. "You're.. everything else." It was too mad a thought, too daring and bewildering and frankly frightening. He wasn't ready to even go there yet, didn't know if he ever would be; the image of the happy family he had seen during the herd meeting came to him and unleashed a sudden bitter taste in the mouth, a stab of something unidentifiable deep down in his gut that the noble, humble and naive stallion had never felt before.
Quickly pushing the image away the grullo instead buried his face in the mares mane, relishing this rare moment without knowing when it would end or if it ever would happen again. The voice was muffled as he replied to her, distorted just enough that it became hard to tell exactly what feelings made it shake.
"It wasn't you or your request that made me pull out, Mirage. I want you to know that. It was just the final straw of confusion that's been haunting me ever since we took over these lands."
Lifting the gray neck and pulling it away slightly, he turned to catch her golden eye with his own, letting her see the serious expression he wore. "Before I made the decision to follow the Qian, I met a few of the unicorns who used to live here. Delinne, Faelene... I liked them. I made friends with them. But when the time came and I had a choice between fighting or not, I choice the bloody path and placed my wish for a home above the relation I had with them. I saw them during the battle, Mirage. They fought and spilled the blood of my friends, while I strove to injure theirs. Even after the dust settled it continued; it continues even now, with all of the kidnappings and hate and suspicion... What are we even trying to accomplish? What is it they want? I tried to talk to Faelene just after you had been released, but even though I asked she wouldn't give me a proper answer."
It still bothered him. He felt as though he could've, should've done more to reconcile with her, come to some sort of understanding. Lace wasn't one to justify his own actions with petty words, and neither could he accept weak excuses from others. Had Faelene begun to hate him for what he had done? The thought pulled a heavy sigh from the blond stallion, and with a wry smile stretching the mouth he continued, suddenly determined to share all of his doubts with his friend and queen, to let her know exactly why he had burned himself out.
"Not to mention all this damn magic that floats everywhere. The air's reeking with it, from gods and ghosts and monsters and.. Did you know that there are creatures living at the bottom of the Heart? I was dragged down there last winter along with some unicorn stallion.. Valentine I think he was called, by an ugly little creature calling himself a gremlin. He and his people threw us into a fight with a boggart, and how we got out of there alive I don't even know." He snorted, ears rotating backwards in dislike over those particular memories. The fear and heat of falling into the boiling volcano, the fear and suspicion he hadn't been able to let go of... the image of Fajira being impaled and fall dead to the ground. It sent a shudder through his skin, unease mixed with reluctance over what that encounter had awoken within him.
"Magic lives within me, Mirage" he whispered, eyes closing to hide the desperate wish to go back to how he had been. "It crawls within my blood, it controls my very body... I cut myself on a rock and the wound scabbed over and healed in little more than a day. Just vanished, as if it'd never been there. And the trees.. they move according to my wishes, they grow and form and sometimes I don't even know how or why I'm doing it. At first I barely even knew what was going on, but the more I use it the harder it becomes to stop." The shivers ran through him again and again, until it became impossible to repress it. Unwilling to show the brave DragonHeart how much the power in his blood frightened him, Lace turned and pressed his head against her steady neck, escaping by breathing in the comforting scent of the shadow mare.
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