It was stupid. So stupid. He must want to laugh and say 'Nightmares? Memories? Really?' Irrydae braced herself for the lash of words that would spew from his blue lips. But they didn't. There were no words. She looked at him in shock, eyes sparking as his face became one of comfort. A smile from him caused her heart to jump slightly and a laugh escaped her. "I should have listened to you in The Threshold. I should have come home with you." Her voice is soft as she takes a deep breath, slowly willing herself to come back to how she naturally is.

'You are far from stupid Irrydae. A wise horse never forgets her past, no matter how much it hurts. A brave horse carries on regardless. You are the bravest and wisest mare I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.' That was it. She wanted to laugh and say how he must be kidding. She would have, if it was any normal day. But it was not any normal day. Today she was having a conversation with Evers the Able, one that was finally private, where she could say whatever or toss aside the calm, collected demeanor that she wore every day. It might be okay to show someone her cracks, and maybe that person might help her fill those cracks. A small smile spread across her lips, and she turned her eyes away slightly. She would be blushing if it could show.

'Of course I will listen.' Irrydae watched as Rita came over to sit at Evers hooves, eyes bright and ears open. A shaky breath left the mare, wondering where to start. "I've never had a father, my mother was my support system. I never had a heard- we were always on the move. To or from what, I have no idea. My mother- she always wanted me to be like her. She taught me to be an outcast, an underling, simmering thing. I worked for her gain. I couldn't leave though, mom was my whole life. She taught me to fight, to be manipulative, to pretend to be someone I wasn't. I was meant to trick people for the gain of myself or my mother. She wanted information, and power. If I didn't do something she wanted me to, she would m-." Irrydae bites her lip, closing her eyes for a few seconds before starting again. "She would mentally abuse me. And still, I couldn't make myself leave. I was my mother's experiment to try to shape me into a power-hungry, malevolent creature to spit out children that she could continue to shape like me, and all she ever did for me was abuse me emotionally. I was so attached though, she was my support system. When I was only two, it's the typical thing, she grew horribly ill. Moving around did nothing but make it worse, and she died. I guess it can be seen as a blessing, finally getting way from the abuse and manipulation."

She felt as if made of air. No heavy weight upon frail shoulders, anymore. The first time she has ever told anyone of her past, of who she used to be. She was not some happy foal chasing butterflies. If her mother had not died what would she be now? Would she have turned out as her mother had wanted her? Irrydae's brow scrunches together, wondering what the stag will say about her past. It wasn't very long, she could have included details and examples, but she saw no need for that.

"I did not have a fairytale childhood, and I doubt I'll have a fairytale ending, a happy ever after, either." Words that could be taken as bitter, sad, a complaint, whatever. The words had left her before they had entered her mind. Irrydae watched Rita, wondering if she'll even ever get a companion. The star spangled mare had no friends besides Evers- if she could consider him a friend! Though, she must if she trusted him with information of her childhood. It was pretty bold of her to tell him, and still she regretted it, she had vowed to never speak of it. No friends. No family. But Evers. Her Evers? Was it even like that or was it another twist of her imagination. This all seemed to good for Irrydae, and she almost expected to wake up and realize it was all just a dream. But she was awake, Evers was standing before her, and she had just told him something she thought she would tell no one. Irrydae considered herself lucky to have a friend like that.

Her heart jumped slightly as her eyes met his this time, and they quickly skirted away. Irrydae never considered having compassion for someone when she was with her mother, so it was a strange thing for her. Irrydae stepped towards him again, maw brushing his ever so slightly, nervous as to what he would do or think. "I'm glad I found you here." Her voice is a whisper, taking the leap of faith as the words leave her mouth. It is so quiet, she is not sure if he will hear it not, she is not sure if it's a good thing if he does hear it.

"I never realized how hard it would be to let go of her, even after everything she did for me. The one and only time I've ever heard the words 'I love you' from someone was before my mother died." Her voice is no longer a whisper, blinking slowly as the sun makes it's descent further and further down under the horizon.


[ ooc ; GUH OMG ;______; andyeahyoucanmakehimhearthatit'suptoyou ]