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I had always raised my child to ensure the best of manners, to make sure that when the Assassins as a whole were frowned upon, Sikeax could be a brick wall on the road to their beliefs. Here, she wasn't always that. Her pace was heavy, legs picked up in a high wait through what mush the snow was creating. Sol attempted to speak to her, receiving a faint smile on her glowing face. My face carried a heavy lack of emotion. I am becoming a rag doll at the point that it needs to be restitched, and the one who knows how to do it is long gone.
There was a feeling of uncomfortableness from Sol, falling off him as I straggered past to chase my child. She wasn't yet swallowed up by the winds and snow, but when I called her name, she stopped abruptly and stared me down. From afar, I could easily tell I had betrayed her. Had she not paid enough attention to how Roy and I acted around each other to understand the idea that we just didn't like each other? Time was going to be cruel when it came to accepting her step father. She accepted Tonka with almost perfect glee, proud and happy to know that he was her Uncle. What had I done wrong with my mate at this time. A mental knife went through my chest, and Sikeax stabbed me again with hurtful emotions. I am never going to be good enough for this child.
Sol offered me to lean upon him for balance, I gladly took. The weight on my leg was driving me crazy, and when my wounded shoulder brushed his, the pain was light and airy as it went through my nerves. My body is growing immune to pain. I'll be a monster before long if it keeps this way. Sikeax came back to us, staring at Sol with unknown thoughts before coming upon my other side and pushing me towards the cave. It didn't take long for us to reach home, the Moon and stars watching us with careful eyes. Please, Goddess of the Moon, let her like him. For the sake of everyone, please let Sikeax accept Sol. My thoughts brought no calm to me when Sol's voice fell again, speaking to Sia. I could care less if he spoke to me or not, for just getting into the caves was welcoming.
"Well.... I like to go on adventures. I have a best friend named Amara who lives by the sea, and we met the night the sun went out and the moon disappeared. The whole night we told each other stories, and when I woke up, there wasn't a Moon or any stars. A while back ago, Daddy and I met up and he brought me home. I really miss him. Sometime soon, I want to hit the beach with Daddy and go swimming, that is if he ever comes back around."
It is well known a child can break a mother's heart, and I felt that night as if I wounded my daughter beyond repair when she said if he ever came back around. Partically, it was Roy's and my fault that she was lacking him in her life. The Foothills brought new hell into my aggressive ways, causing me to be more out for revenge on Knox. Roy never came to rescue me when my herd tried their best to rescue Tonka and I. Life was a bitch, and I fear letting Sol know the true cruel things I've faced in this place. Knox had placed a sure reminder on my brain that no one gives a shit about who you are, if you're pregnant or not, and what you could do.
A quick stumble made me fall, bringing me down to the ground. The cave entrance wasn't too far, not far enough that if I got back up and took a few more strides, we'd be home. Sikeax went to pulling on my mane as I attempted to regain my balance. The pain was enough to make me go on, but when I could get back up, it seemed as if I just needed to lay back and die. Maybe I do, maybe I need to die right in front of my daughter and mate, just to let them know that I give up.
But I can't. This is my family, and I'm not going to fail them. Who would ever forgive me if I did?
My might was weak, and when Sikeax pulled on my mane again (not tearing out locks like Thor had done, thankfully), I slipped my legs under my body and pushed. Standing came awkward, and when I got half way up, well, opps. Sia sort of knew how to place herself in bad places, and I ended up landing on top of her. An endless amount of squeaks burst from her, showing the rage that she was putting out. I laughed, adding insult to injury to her. Like it was going to ever bother her. At one point, I remembered her complaining about Tonka rolling over on top of her. She was small, and I was going to make sure that my baby was going to be driven crazy as a kid.
For sure.
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