It's cold.

I am cold.

All around me I have built a barrier to protect myself from the outside world. I hide behind a layer of lies, a layer that I have built so carefully throughout my life. I live as anyone would, trying to push the past away from their heads. I try as hard as I can to forget certain pieces of my past, but tonight that portion decides to take my mind over. While I sleep, my lids closed over lavender orbs.

Pathetic.

His voice echoes through my mind as his brows are narrowed, his stern gaze has changed. He appears infuriated as he towers above me, my mother laying there, her face blank. He turns to her as though to bring his hooves upon her skull, end her pointless life. She had not given him was he desired. He wanted a strong, healthy colt to carry upon his shoulder's father's legacy. Upon seeing me he was angered, frustrated with himself and with my dam. It seemed like he wanted to destroy me, end my life here and now. But he holds off, just standing there. I'm whimpering, shivering as my mother does nothing to care for me. She leaves me there for minutes, no signal that she was even alive. Her gaze was glazed over, her sides heaving gently. The scene fades into the shadows, my vision blurred as the world swirls around me.

Pathetic.

The boys snicker as I walk, thinking that a filly was something pathetic. I would show them, I know I would. I have yet to prove myself to anyone, but I would do it. Today was a special day, all because it was the beginning of my training, a big day for me. Father stands, a devilish smirk upon his lips. He does not talk, instead, he launches at me. I panic for a moment before realizing I have to fight him. Inhaling deeply, I prepare myself. We fought, our battle was vicious. My father was strong and massive, he could have easily killed me. But he didn't. Something inside of him must have warned him that killing him would be a big set back in our lineage. So he trained me, forced me to sweat just as hard as the colts. He may have made me work even harder, just to prove them that his lineage was the greatest. Just as he stands with a proud look on his face, he disappears. Wind carries away the black mist in which he has faded to.

Pathetic.

At the newly turned age of two, I stand proud beside my father. Beneath my breast I feel fear creep through me. I am a bachelorette, there are tens of bachelors around me. I am a scrap piece of prey surrounded by vultures. I can tell they all crave my body, the way their hungry eyes devour my curves. I swallow, afraid to see who will win me. My fathers says few words, just that the most honorable stallion shall have me. Days went by, and yet I stand as the scene evolves around me. Fights and screams, blood is laid before my hooves. Finally a stallion emerges victorious, his features faded, long forgotten. The time of day changes to night, and there we are, embracing one another. Was it in my heart that I felt love? Had it been love that I felt during that sweet, sweet night? No.

Pathetic.

All around me the world revolves, and I am struck with pain. Sweat pours down my body as I fall into labor, screams whipping through the night's eerie silence. My throat is hoarse as I cry, the pain unbearable. I had faced many wounds, fought many horses, dealt with so much pain. But it was as if all the wounds I have suffered have gathered all at once, sending me through a phase of screaming and thrashing. I can feel the being that had been growing inside of me slipping free now. I was going to be free of these chains, these horrible chains that kept me away from the adrenaline of battle. A small smile crosses my lips before the last push helps the child break free, the last of my strength used to look at the little thing and begin licking it. I should have known something was wrong with it. The way it lay there limply, I should have known. It took me an hour or so to realize why it didn't move. I was frustrated and afraid. Out of pure rage is scream, "Move dammit!" But the child, my progeny, is dead. It does not bother to listen to my cries, my body shaking as I sob over my lost child. I do not bother to check its gender, I bother not to name it. I drag it away from the herd and bury it alone, trying to gather myself.

I'm not pathetic.

I am Agrona, I have a family, a family I love. A family that loves me.

I stand now in the present, surrounded by those I care for. My family, the ones not related by blood but by heart, by choice. They are all smiling, enjoying a good time. A dead animal is being tossed among the girl, Amara and her dog, Seele and Eris surveying their herd. Oxy is slumped against a tree, his lips freshly colored in green from his leaves. Circuta and Ghost lurk there in the shadows, shallow smirks upon their soft kissers. Merikh growls while Histe kicks an innocent horse's body, entrails spread throughout the area. Reizend simply hums, the only who isn't corrupt in this entire herd. Vulture stands beside Arlo, the two of them surveying the interaction. I stand and smile, exhaling. Family. Walking forward, I enter the herd and allow myself to nod my head to the Ladies. I halt then and there, my head turning. There is a blind little child, the white on his coat shifting to show images and colors. For a moment my own deceased child stands beside him, smiling. Everything freezes around me, nothing else mattered as I stare at my stillborn child. No. I tell myself, watching the child fade away. I was safe now, able to release the breath in my lungs I had been holding.

Tagged: I got @[Agrona]. And freakin' name confusions man. :I Almost tagged Angora like, 5 times. XD Anyway, hope ya like it :D <3
"Speak." Walk walk