leliel.

Hushed murmurs were my lullabies as I drifted to a slumber filled with different hues of pink and gold.

I slept.

I don't know how long I slept for, but when I woke my body was stiff from staying in one position for too long and I thought that it must have been night time because it was dark. So dark. I thought that I had been dreaming that they had thought it right to take my sight away because there wasn't anymore pain. I couldn't smell anymore blood. It had to be a dream. An awful dream. I yawned and lifted my head, snorting quietly because some pine needles had gotten stuck to my muzzle and I blinked. It was still dark. I lifted my head in the direction of the sky and strained to see any stars in the sky. The moon. Anything.

There was nothing.

I frowned and squeezed my scarred eyelids shut over my ruined eyes then opened them again to more darkness. "It wasn't a dream." I murmured quietly to myself. There's something about not being able to see that makes your voice seem that much louder, the noises around you louder. The rustling leaves sounded almost like thunder. The breathing next to me was like wind whistling in my ears. My body jerked as I lifted my head suddenly and turned blindly to the side and to the one who was next to me. Muriel, I remember, had answered my calls and had found me in the forest and for that I would forever be grateful and in her debt. But at the same time I also wished she would have ignored me and let me stumble blindly through the forest until a pack of wolves found me or I fell off the very edge and ended the hell that I had been born into.

My muzzle brushes against a leg and by the scent of it I know that its Muriel. She and Onni are still talking and I wonder if they even noticed that I had woken up. If they did I wonder if they're looking at me with pity. I don't want their pity now. I never wanted pity before. I try to gather my legs and stand and suddenly I feel like a foal trying to stand for the first time. I stumble and fall and flail and finally when I find my legs my face is set into a grim expression, my sightless eyes fixed somewhere, I think I'm looking down, and my wings are straight up in the air.

I want to fly.

"Onni?" My ears rotate and when she speaks my head turns in the direction her voice came from. "Thank you." My voice is quiet as it always was. For a moment I'm silent and I listen to the sounds of the forest and I can honestly say that it was probably the first time I actually listened. I guess I need to now. Slowly, my head turns in Muriel's direction, I assume judging from the breaths I hear, and I extend my muzzle. Would she accept any kind of apology from me or have I burned too many bridges already?

I'm sorry, Muriel.

I don't think I could ever say the words enough and I don't think she would ever understand just how sorry I was. I'd forsaken the only one who had ever wanted to be my friend and even still she came to me when I needed her the most. I know I'm not worthy of her friendship, but if she'll give me a chance I'll try to be better. The only thing I can ask is that she has patience for a man who's been broken too many times to count and never put back together.


"."