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Thoughts fight for possession of his mind, jerking across the canvas of his head in spasms, unclear, tedious musings. He inhales and exhales, letting the cold air slow the too-fast movements of his introspections and broodings, until the tension begins to seep away, oozing from his pores and leaving his muscles soft after the tightness. It happens too often, the seizing panic and hot fear flushing his cheeks, making his heart thumpthumpthump. Deeper and deeper he drinks in the cold air, until his lungs burn with overinflation, and his head lightens. A cup of wine he would not object to at this moment; but here there are no sweet red apples, no special-cut grasses and perfumed flowers, not even crystal waters of all simple, minimalist things. As he had traveled away from the forest of his native land, he had learned most places were not gifted with the diverse nutrition nor had house-elves to wait on them; his eyes opened to horses who lived in the open instead of arching wooden houses sung out of the most ancient trees. He learned that dragons did not always sing, that their fire burned instead of healed.
He learned that it was possible to lie. That had baffled him- he couldn't lie himself, never having learnt the skill. Whenever he formed the words on his tongue, they would not leave, staying locked into place. And why someone would lie in the first place, he didn't quite know. He preferred the truth, honesty always.
The smile faded away from the exquisite bay mare's face, falling flat, and his lips too straightened from quavering smile to the tight lips of solemn sorrow. Her words blossomed in the air, drifting petals of honesty and simplicity, spiraling to the earth between them. He wished he could replace that smile, make it spring back to life, and was struck guilty-like in reminder of Onni whom he had left in the dust of his fleeing path, with eyes still wet and the space between strangers gone replaced with something not quite friendly nor similar to hard animosity between enemies. But more important (even than disappearing of smiles it appeared the yearling caused every time he met an older woman) was the words the nurse exchanged with him. For a long moment he reconciles this knowledge with Onni's words, playing with them, tying them together. The pieces do not quite fit. Why had She told him the tearing of wings and the invasions of land? Why hadn't She told him the whole truth? Why had the world in the moon's protection stolen the children- they were innocents. Why hadn't Huyana the rain-daughter not told him of the intricacies and precarious situation of his new home? Inwardly he sighs. There was more traveling for him to do, more convincing and speaking for him to commit in order to discover and complete the entire picture.
It was his duty to learn the truth, the whole of it.
"Lena," he sighs. It is not a condescending sigh, nor a melancholy one; it is a ghost of a word, one that is hardly in the range of hearing. "Why such villainy? There be more, surely. Please."
The hairs of his thin beard glittered in the crisp golden light of the sun, painting him in gilded yellows, the silver of his dark coat shimmering dully, luster returned by the good eating of new grass. Plumes of frosty breath curled from his nostrils, fading into the air. Over the grass his tail moves, the hairs of his lion's plume rustling, twisting back and forth languidly but with a nervous underlying twitch. A bitter wind whispers, sending the trees leaning away from it's embrace. Despite the warmth of the sun, the stallion shudders, almost wishing he could go careening foolishly down another slope. His cleft hooves, flexible and strong, stir beneath him restlessly. Slowly his eyes of earth caress her body, moving up gently to her glorious face, and there is fear of the truth in his eyes.
It will be okay, he tells himself. She is one of his herdmates, tied together by love for their winter home. Surely the truth will come, and he will be freed.
The card games and ease with the bitter salt of blood
I was in but I want out
My mother's love is choking me
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