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11-26-2013, 11:26 PM
 Her smile makes you wonder where she's been Silence would be all that greeted Ktulu, for the mare said nothing, lips sealed and jaw clenched as if holding back a tidal wave of words she would regret should a single drop pass her tongue. Lakota was angered, not stupid. Instead she ground her teeth at the accusations, the blatant reminder that she had not followed Ktulu mindlessly from the only home she'd ever had. And if her voice was venomous, even as she quieted it from the rising decibels previously used, she couldn't bring herself to care as she spat her answer right back. "Leave, to follow someone I loved so deeply but whom may not have even cut ties with her prior partner?" In her head she heard Aodaun's voice, soft and stern. Control, Kota. Not help to anger. Taking a deep breath she stared up at the sky and took a few long moments to orient herself with her thoughts once more. "The Foothills were my only home. The first place I had ever called home, and to this day the only place I've ever felt joy in returning to. I fought for that land, under your lead, and in that role I was granted to power to heal and help. Things I had never been able to do, verbally or physically. With my own doubts of your feelings, which you confessed moments before leaving, and my own fears of the Foothills falling...not to mention my reluctance to leave the one place I knew so well, and loved so deeply...I suppose you can blame me, for promising you something I wasn't sure I could keep. But please don't condemn me for not wanting to part from something so precious, when my lack of presence could draw it into a spiraling downfall." Apollo, Irrydae, Artemis, Phaedra, Locket...so many friendly, familiar faces that she missed already. If the Foothills fell...they would be injured, homeless, perhaps even killed in battle. Lakota could not leave them to their fate. She had not done so in the past, even when she had been exiled from her herd. When the invasion had come, she had returned, and fought for a land long lost prior to the battle. She would do so again, out of love for the land and its people. They had softened her, shown her kindness she did not deserve, given her a gift she'd subconsciously longed for. It was not so easy as Ktulu thought for her to abandon all those things, for a fleeting, uncertain chance at love. Though it didn't seem to change how Ktulu felt, as apparently Lakota did not put forth enough effort in that aspect. "You're right, I didn't, because I had no hands to spare. Aodaun has been patrolling when I cannot, and I have been trying to salvage the tiny broken pieces left of the Foothills. I'm sorry, but I couldn't risk the lives of my friends by wandering off when they needed me most." In no way did she mean for it to sound accusatory, in fact her vocals are defeated, aware of her own shitty decisions. She was a terrible person, and she knew it. She didn't need Ktulu to tell her when she told herself often enough. Though, apparently Ktulu didn't think so, in fact it seemed she wanted to say it to Lakota as much as possible. The rage that exploded in her was faster than any other at the daring jab Ktulu said, and she bristled like a cat, ears flat to her skull and posture ready for war, whether it be verbal or physical. How dare she?! How dare she when she knew how much Lakota loved children?! Right as her lips dropped open to scream obscenities at her, Aodaun intervened with a deep growl, shoving into her so hard she stumbled. Even with his brutal distraction her aurals never wavered, still enraged regardless. Not what she meant, Kota! he growled, both inside of her head and to the air around them. What the fuck else could she have meant?! Intense eyes stare her down, diamonds a pale green like the soft flesh of the inside of a lime, pinning her thoughts down from where they struggled to explode out of her mouth. She say- love Jiri. Not love Idas, at birth. Saying she look to love Idas, really love Jiri. Faltering, her lips tremble, dark as Nyx's chariot, and she's grateful that Ao is with her, correcting her never-ending mistakes. Instead, this time she looked Ktulu dead in the eyes, head still lowered towards Aodaun. "You're younger than I, Ktulu. I have faced just as much, if not more, pain from my blood family. Don't speak to me of trying to make a family, why do you think I stayed in the Foothills?" Strong, mildly stern, but clearly not wishing another bout of fighting. Honestly, Lakota felt rather snubbed, for she felt Ktulu was projecting all the family troubles, but didn't even stop to think of the horrors inflicted on Lakota from birth. At least Ktulu had been loved by her family up to this point. Not that it seemed to matter, as apparently only Eytan had been by her side this long. Violets darkened, though in sorrow or anger it was uncertain. "Very well." It's all she would say to that comment. How long had she been at Ktulu's side, protecting her and guarding her? But if Ktulu did not consider it the same, Lakota would not whine to get her emotions across. Not that they made very much sense, currently. All she knew was that when Ktulu admitted, softly, without looking at her, and in a rather round-about way that she loved Lakota...it still made her heart skip like a smooth rock on a calm lake's surface. So she moved forward, hesitant, but her face was conflicted and distressed. Coal muzzle was offered tentatively to the taller mare, and if she were a canine she'd likely be whimpering. "Please...Ktulu, just...help me get rid of these doubts. I don't want us to fight like this. I love you, so much that it hurts and-" choking up on her words, she swallowed hard, trying to continue speaking. "I know I am difficult, and stupid, but please just...help me forget, help me be better."  |
