Ktulu
the Constrictor

"I told you how I felt long before I left." Ktulu replied, trying to keep the ice from her voice as Eytan began to continuously interject mentally that she needed to not be angry. But she had told her before, but obviously Lakota had been unable to read between the lines and Ktulu had been too scared of saying it point blank to make her understand. She was a fool for thinking the poisoner she had held so close since inducting her into the Grey had really understood her. The only one who truly understood all of her nuances was Ophelia. She wanted Lakota to understand her, though. She needed her to.

"Lakota..." She was cut off as the accusations came. Her mouth closed, lips pressed together in a thin line and her ears tilting back against her head in a manner that more resembled shame than anger. "I could not stay any longer, Kota." Ktulu murmured. "I tried to lead them. I tried to protect them. I tried to make them into a family, but all they did was slap me in the face. Everything I instructed, the patrols, the training spars for the warriors was all so I could make them stronger. So we could protect one another, but everything I asked fell on deaf ears." Her gaze fell to Eytan because looking at him and admitting her failures was much easier than looking at Lakota and admitting the same failures. "They feared me." Ktulu said, her voice falling flat. At one time she had been proud to have been feared, she still did feel proud that some individuals seemed to fear her, but her own herd? "How could I lead them?" She could not. "There is no loyalty in fear, Lakota." Her crimson gaze lifted and settled on Lakota's face once more. "Apollo will lead them well. He inspires loyalty." A grin cracked the solemn features of her face. "Hell, he made me loyal to him. I have faith in him as a leader and that was why I was comfortable leaving him to lead the herd that I had shattered."

The Constrictor watched her once-poisoner and when her mouth fell open she was expecting a string of obscenities to spew forth, but the polar bear stopped it from happening. When he growled she looked at him and watched the pair as they went back and forth, much like she and Eytan did. She looked down at her own bear who seemed to be grinning appreciatively at the other bear. Then she was scolded for her own family problems, which made the mare frown. How was she to know what Lakota's family had been like when the other mare had never told her? It seemed that there was much more for them to learn about each other, but would they be able to? Or would this fight effectively end whatever it was that was trying to blossom and grow between them and end their friendship?

"Please...Ktulu, just...help me get rid of these doubts. I don't want us to fight like this. I love you, so much that it hurts and "I know I am difficult, and stupid, but please just...help me forget, help me be better."

Ktulu looked up once more and blinked, confusion shining in her eyes before it was replaced by a very strong desire to protect Lakota from everything that could possibly harm her. The medic had already taken a hesitant step forward and seemed to be searching for some kind of acceptance from her. Despite her harsh and stupid choice of words words and anger, Ktulu had already accepted her for what she was and loved her for it. She stepped forward and hooked her neck over Lakota's and pulled the other mare against her chest and held her there, where she was wanted. Where she belonged. "I do love you." she whispered, wondering if it was the first time she had said it outright in her entire life. "I want you with me."

@[Lakota]

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