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10-06-2013, 09:35 PM
 calmness is the cradle of power I didn't want to cry. It was the last thing I wanted to do, but your emotions never do listen to you completely. Just like I wanted to be angry with you all over again and I couldn't be angry. I could only be relieved that you were back and that nothing had happened to you. I wanted to be so angry with you, Ros. I don't think you'll ever know or really understand just how badly I wanted to be angry because being angry is so much easier than being nervous and sad. And besides that, crying sucks. I turned my head away from you and squeezed my eyes shut as you told me not to cry. At that moment I hated you for saying it because more tears flooded my eyes and it was impossible to keep them all in. I snorted and started blinking, trying to get the damn tears to go away but the more you said 'no' and told me not to cry the more and faster the tears came. I wanted to tell you to shut up, Ros, but it had been so long since I had even heard your voice that I was hanging on every word you said like it was a life preserver. If you stopped talking to me I would probably have drowned in the sea of tears that I had created. Every word you said I listened to and I didn't pretend to understand how you felt when you woke up and had a grown up body. I'll never understand and I'll never pretend to, but I think you know that already. I managed to get a hold of myself and stop blubbering like an idiot when to took a step toward me but then you stopped and I wated, my tears betraying me once more. "Don't cry." You told me again and finally, I was able to speak. "Stop saying that." My voice came out as a whimper when I hadn't intended it to and I hated myself for it. I didn't understand why I was being so emotional, but I gave up trying to control it. What use was it, anyway? "I'm here now" I coughed and smiled through my tears. "I know." My voice cracked, but thankfully it wasn't a whimper this time. By this time you had stopped talking and were just standing there so I moved and I didn't stop until I had hooked my neck over yours and pulled you against my chest. I figured if you weren't going to hug me that I was going to hug you. @[Roskuld]  |
aud pixel!
