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10-20-2013, 10:56 PM
 calmness is the cradle of power “I wouldn’t be sayin’ it if you weren’t crying,” You always did manage to find some kind of way to ruin a moment and you didn't fail to deliver did you, Ros. No, indeed not. You and your sudden reappearance and your harshness directed at me because I had asked you to stop telling me not to cry just ... it made me a little angry. I had been waiting for that anger to kick in since I saw you standing there grazing like you didn't have a care in the world or miss anyone that you left behind. "I wouldn't be crying if you weren't such a jerk!" I shot back and it was then that the temperament of my mother reared its ugly head verbally. My eyes narrowed and I snorted defiantly, daring you to argue against me, but we both know its true. You're a jerk. I love you, anyway. It was only because I love you so much that I still went to you and tried to hug you. I didn't get very far before I felt your neck hooked over mine and you pulled me against your chest. I could feel how strong you were. So much stronger than me. Sometimes I wonder if we were meant to be born to opposite parents. I mean ... Auntie Ophie is so sleek and tall and my mom is stocky and muscular. We're the exact opposite of our moms, but that's beside the point, I guess. Anyways, whatever anger I felt toward you diminished the minute you pulled me against your chest and I felt a little guilty for having called you a jerk even though I felt and thought it for a long time. It was easier to blame you for leaving than to try and figure out if I had done something wrong to make you leave. Sorry for that. “….I suck, I suck so much and I can’t help it, Ji. Could you handle that? Could you handle a fuck-up?” "Stop it, Ros." I said as you insulted yourself. "Just...." I didn't know what to say and so I swallowed my words and just stood there pressing myself against you and feeling like I was finally home. I was confused, I'll admit. I didn't know what you meant by 'handling a fuck-up' but if it meant that you would be around I swore to myself that I could handle anything you threw at me, just as long as you didn't leave me again. "I can." I finally answered you. "I can because I love you, you dummy." You're my best friend. My sister. The other half of my soul. Just don't leave me again. @[Roskuld] "."  |
aud pixel!
