The truth is what the black stud spoke, this she knew as much from conclusions that her own mind had come to a long time ago. It was believing the truth that made things difficult for her. Life was not full of rainbows and sunshine but indeed did have its ups and downs but when you have only experienced the downs of it all. For the longest time the good days were those where she could hide in peace and nurse her many wounds from the previous day. What more could she ever really hope for, back then it was those days she wished more of. “Memories are only pictures in your head. They can only drum up past hurt, they cannot cause present, fresh wounds. You will only ever pick at the scabs of old ones and watch the blood trickle out.” How could she not take her past into the present? Her everyday she longed for what she had lost but not realized she wanted at the time. It was all just so confusing.

"It is hard to not take the past into account when everyday I cannot bear the thought of one more day alone. Each passing season is a painful reminder of what was taken." She managed softly her eyes once again falling to the ground. She would give anything to be able to forget what had happened but twice a year without fail things brought the memories crashing back like it was now with the fall weather. Damn these stupid hormonal changes that screwed with her mind, males got off lucky. All of this was more than she had ever divulged to anyone but it felt good being able to talk for once. Granted poor Torleik was probably wanting to run for the hills by now but he was kind enough to tolerate her muddled confused words without complaint.

It was a surprise when the stag offered her the opportunity to ask something of himself. While she didn't mind answering questions she found it difficult to think when her emotions started interfering. With the ability to think of some questions it might be easier to clear her thoughts into sortable piles, but what could she ask that wouldn't sound weird? While her body craved release she tried to push those thoughts away as that would definitely come across a creepy. She was rather enjoying their conversation, the last thing she wanted to do was make things awkward. A soft sigh escaped her lips frustrated by the entire situation being complicated by the stupid season. It definitely did not help that she was starting to like her new friend who was not all that bad on the eyes.

Questions right! Refocusing quickly she tried not stop her mind from wandering too far. Torleik spoke of his own demons, what exactly did he mean by that? Everyone had their own skeletons but she was having a hard time believing her kind hearted friend had much to be ashamed of. " How is it that you deal with past memories or as you call them your demons? You make it sound easy." She finally managed to ask lifting her eyes back to study his face again. Also how was it that he seemed to understand what she was dealing with when no one else had ever seemed to? "I don't mind the questions either, its just sometimes hard to put into words an answer that makes any sense."

Most of the answers could be easier shown by the images within her mind but to draw words from them became almost like trying to melt concrete at times. She couldn't explain why she felt so much sorrow over losing the one baby she had managed to conceive through the brutality of other stallions. It was easier to make sense of things that she actually had an answer to in the first place. There was much of herself that she did not know, just look at her now. Never in her wildest dreams did she ever picture herself willingly being in the presence of a stallion and actually enjoying it. One could never know what they were truly capable of until it happened.



TAGS: @[Torleik]
MUSE: Good
NOTES: <3 No worries at all. I also have tons of brisa muse lately haha