|
The sound of an owl catches my ears, and then I see the filly jump. Good, I think to myself, At least there is some fear embedded into this child. Fear and caution can sometimes be the only thing that keeps you alive within this world. If there only one thing that this filly’s mother could give her, I hope that it is caution.
She nods at me, I can see the sadness upon my face. All I feel for this filly is complete pity. Yet I know precisely how she feels. Oh how I wish I didn’t. I wish I had been one of those lucky few who got a mother that doted on them, loved them, and showed them pure kindness. I wish I could’ve been like this filly in my youth, but I was destroyed in and out. I became a creature of fear and malice by the time I was a mere year old. I’m not sure how Abishia is, but I know she is hardly more than a newborn. She is around the same age when my own mother up and left me. I hope that she doesn’t end up like me. Dark, twisted, and heartless. I don’t wish anyone to be like me. Those who can live life with a sense of joy and optimism hold my envy. They live a life of ignorance.
I watch the filly walk towards me. All her fear of me has been thrown the wind apparently. She rubs herself against me. The touch is a bit startling to me, I can’t remember the last time physical touch didn’t involve some kind of violence. Her touch doesn’t shock me as much as her words. Stay with me? What!? My immediate answer is absolutely positively no, and I almost open up my mouth to firmly tell the filly this, but I find my words caught in my throat. My mind wanders to myself as a colt. Wasn’t I in the exact same place? Didn’t all I want was to be free from the pain I was in? All this filly wants is to live, and that isn’t much to ask for. But I know she can’t stay with me, I am nothing but trouble. I’ll destroy her from the inside out. If she takes one look at the darkness I fight she’d be completely broken. Just like myself. I want this filly to find value in life, and not to end up like me. Not be a wandering soul consumed with vanquishing souls of the wicked.
“I don’t know if you want to stay with me kid,” I say, “Where I go trouble follows. To you, I’d be a bad, bad guy.” I’m surprised at how my tone isn’t forcibly gentle, it just is. “I’m willing to help you find someone that will help you though, and protect you from things that may try to hurt you… And if I can’t find someone that you can stay with that’ll take very good care of you, I’ll take you in and care for you myself. I promise.” I want to gag on my own words. Did I just make a promise? I cannot believe I just did that. Whatever this filly is doing to me, I am not sure that I like it.
. "blah blah blah."
|
.svg/2000px-Google_Chrome_icon_(2011).svg.png){kind=icon}
![[Image: 33lf0ao.png]](http://i41.tinypic.com/33lf0ao.png)
