DEIMOS
Realism [+3]
Throughout the whole fight you really played to the surroundings, for instance I loved you using the operating table to attack, and helped the setting motivate your character the entire time. Your responses to the attacks and defenses were all good, but I would have liked to see more of the effects of the sustained injuries in the posts prior. I would have also liked to see more mentions of the costumes, but I do understand with a word limit that costumes are the easiest thing to brush aside. Overall great grasp on realism!


Emotion [+3]
I adored the constant conflict Deimos was having at fighting Crowley, and how he had to realize for himself the depths he’d sink to in order to obtain his freedom. Really well written the whole fight, especially loving the surprise in that first post.


Prose [+4]
Your writing is just beautiful. You maintain a specific style and it is consistent throughout, and it just helps add to the character and seemed very fitting for this type of fight/setting! I saw no typos or other glaring errors, so I really enjoyed reading this.


Readability [+2]
Easy to read throughout!


Finally tally: 17.5+12= 29.5 HP


CROWLEY
Realism [+2]
You definitely have a clear grasp on creating attacks and dodging them. All of your timing and injuries were well taken, although similarly I would have liked to see those injuries continue to affect you in each post. Like you even said you had a knife stuck in your flank, but then never brought it up again - which by the way i really loved your response to that table crashing in to you! Throughout the fight you described as slipping on tile though, when the surroundings stated it was a concrete that provided traction. Additionally in the first post you took Deimos’ attack on your left, when he had stated as aiming to the right, I think you just got confused but it made all your responses and turns there after a bit confusing since it didn’t follow where Deimos’ position was. You seemed to forget the costumes as well after the introduction post, so I would have liked to see more mention of that, especially Talbot’s (adorable picture by the way haha), but again I understand they’re easy to forget and probably the first to get cut for word count. Overall you have a great eye for attacks and defenses, just perhaps take the time to pay more attention to the little details.


Emotion [+1]
This one was difficult to score because you were kind of in-between a 1 and a 2 over all your posts. I did see some emotion, especially with the companion, but it wasn’t as pronounced as I’d like. I never felt really drawn into the character or his feelings. There was confusion and some anger, but nothing more than those surface emotions.


Prose [+4]
Good flow and transitions the whole time, I saw no typos or grammatical errors and I enjoyed your opening post’s story line a lot :)

Readability [+2]
Easy to read all throughout!


Finally tally: 9+9= 18 HP