He asked after their son, and she grinned then. “He was. He looks so much like you.” Every day he looked more like his father, with her wings only. “He’s got a little of both of us in him though. He’s quiet, but his smile lights up the world when it shows.” Ever the heartache but she believed that their son was safe, wherever he was. He had to be.

To his question, she responded with one of her own. “Why do you question my affections?” He always had, from the moment they were there. Asking her why she cared for him, why she had wanted to be friends with him. Why. Did Alysanne even have an answer for him? She reached out then, brushing her muzzle gently on his cheek with a smile. “For everything you are. Sasha, I’ll miss you and I’ll love you even when you’ve tired of me. Even when it hurts.” Which was a point, she suspected, they might have already reached.

When he did not answer her question, but instead tensed up, she knew. Of course she knew – and it was a bitter truth to swallow. “No then.” Knowing that it would be so did not mean it hurt any less to speak of it. That was the hope she had clung to, the idea that one day they would be out for a walk and he would appear again. She did not mind the absences with the promise of being together again. But to learn her hopes were in vain did hurt. Perhaps she over estimated his affections.

But had he not touched her so affectionately? Had they not made a son together? Had he not healed her when she was broken?

If anyone should be asking why it should be her. Why put up a front if he did not care for her? Why pretend.

“I don’t resent you for leaving, neither does he.” For his father’s absence, Arty had been raised knowing who Sasha was – raised to love him. “Sasha, it's fine, I just…” Her voice broke and she looked away from him – staring straight ahead as she confessed it all in a whisper-soft voice. Things she had avoided feeling - thinking even - until now. Now it was rising to the surface and she felt powerless to stop it. “Do I really mean so little to you? I thought otherwise, maybe you’re just that good at acting… and perhaps I’m truly pathetic with my plan for waiting for you as you wander the world without the intention of ever seeing me again – as you inevitably find someone more interesting.” To be fair, being replaced was one of the smaller worries. The idea that he would be happiest away from her was what hurt. After all, she wanted him to be happy. And if that was best served with her absence… “If it was me you were running from, I apologize. I never wanted you to be uncomfortable with this and I'm so sorry if that's how it is. You could just say so. If it’s too much…” She cannot even say it. They could end this – leave it to whatever end. She tightens the hug of her wings around herself, the chill of the air mingling with the chill of the topic. She was no good at this.

He was her first. He would always be important to her.

“I would, and I will, wait for you. Every time you leave my side.” It seemed inevitable. He would leave again and maybe that was her fault – but if it wasn’t there was hope still. She always had that hope. “If you ask if of me.”