D e i m o s | I l l y n x
- - - - -
By my verdict DEIMOS is the winner.
Deimos receives 2 VP for completing a teaching spar.

ILLYNX -- post 1 (attack only)

[Realism]
+ 1| Attack: Feints, and bucks at Deimos
+ 1| Defense: Clamping her tail down so that he couldn't bite it. but she was quite proud of her physical blessings, especially her black locks. -- lol
0| Attack: Horn smack to Deimos - no mention of which side.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion.
+ 1| Flow.
+ 1| Easy read.

---

DEIMOS -- post 1

[Realism]
+ 1| Injury: Illynx's kick.
+ 1| Injury: Horn attack to his side
+ 1| Attack:Tries to ram into her right side
+ 1| Attack: Bite towards her crest


[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion: THIS. Unfortunately, when sparring with his own brethren, he couldn’t afford the complete, distorted grandeur of his vigor, of his mutiny, of his barbarity, and so they were shown pieces, snippets, and fragments of his prowess – rarely, unless truly irked and incised, would he layer and lacquer his patriots in the whole fortitude of his loathing and contempt. SO GOOD.
+ 1| Flow.
+ 1| Easy read:

---

Illynx -- post 2

[Realism]
- 1| Injury: Getting shoved: I think your directions were off here. Deimos is on her right, she on his left. He knocks into her right shoulder, which would push her to the left, but you say right. Deimos is also using buff - but you just describe her as having the wind knocked out of her, without any pain, or attention to the buff Heather mentioned.
+ 1| Injury: Deimos' bite.
0| Attack: Shoves into Deimos' bite - Heather covered this in her comments. Had you just written that she shoved into him, I would have given you the point. However Heather was specific in her attack.
+ 1| Defense: Turns her horn inward to deter a horn attack
+ 1| Attack: Cow kicks to the right.


[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion.
+ 1| Flow.
0| Easy read:

---

DEIMOS -- post 2

[Realism]
+ 1| Injury: Shoulder to his teeth, during the bite.
+ 1| Injury: Cow kick hitting his left haunch.
+ 1| Attack: Horn to right side
+ 1| Attack: Magic use in horn attack.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion.
+ 1| Flow.
+ 1| Easy read.

---

ILLYNX -- post 3

[Realism]
0| Injury: Horn to her side - is it bleeding? Was the cut deep?
+ 1| Injury: Great description of Deimos' magic!
0| Attack: Was this supposed to be an attack? Vainly (she assumed) casting her own golden namesake to the side in hopes of gouging those hideously devoid eyes before he could touch her with his sinful rapier. This was not spelled out obviously enough. In a judging system that is based on attacks and replies, referring to her horn as 'her golden namesake' is far too vague to be considered an attack in this context.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion.
+ 1| Flow.
+ 1| Easy read.

---

DEIMOS -- post 3

[Realism]
+ 1| Injury: Illynx's horn attack before his magic.

[Prose]
+ 1| Emotion.
+ 1| Flow.
+ 1| Easy read.

---

ILLYNX -- post 4 (defense only)

[Realism]
No final attack from Deimos, so no closing defense.

---

DEIMOS

[Bonus]
+ 1| Breed.
+ 1| Terrain.

[Injuries]
+1| : Least injured.

[Creativity]
Nothing of note.

Comments: Great spar Heather! I think you wrote Deimos very well here, although there were times I felt myself wanting to know more about what he thought of Illynx, etc. Great description and response to injuries that he sustained!

---

ILLYNX

[Bonus]
+ 1| Breed.
+ 1| Terrain.

[Injuries]
Nothing of note.

[Creativity]
Nothing of note.

Comments: I think Heather gave you really great feedback, and most of it was spot on. Using this system of sparring, you need to be really explicit about 1. Where/How you're attacking and 2. How attacks hit you. I found myself re-reading things, trying to pick out injury, or trying to decide if you were attacking or not. You can be as descriptive and metaphorical as you want when describing scenery, motivation, emotion, etc., but when it comes to attacking, clearer is better!

TOTAL
Deimos- 71
Illynx- 65