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Hello Helovia,
About 2 years ago I implemented a strict BE NICE OR LEAVE policy, because this community got so hostile that our beloved Tamme actually needed to leave because things got so terrible. Luckily we reconciled these issues, but now both the admin, our Jr A's, and some of our members are once again feeling negativity creep back in.
Because of this, I would like to remind the community of two things.
This is the contract that we hold all of our admins and jr a's to, and I think it is relevant and applicable to all.
1. If you have a problem, seek that person out in a calm way within a few days of the incident. Allow yourself time to cool down, but also make sure that your concerns are fresh in your mind. Do not let things fester.
2. Be sure to ask clarifying questions. Not everyone speaks or thinks the same way, so before you pass a judgment, try and gain understanding of the reasons and background of the issue.
3. Listen and speak. A good resolution requires both.
4. Even when you get frustrated, don't give up. Try to explain your side calmly, and do not be afraid to say "wait a minute so that I can explain" if you feel rushed.
5. There are no absolutes. Make sure that you use "I" and "me" statements when you are in both agreement and disagreement. There is a very big difference between "I feel that this idea needs more thought" and "This is a bad idea".
6. Have a strong opinion, but understand that most of the best ideas come from compromise and combined effort. Also, understand that other people will have strong opinions too.
7. Always have a moderator present if you feel like things may get out of hand. The moderator's job is to look at the situation objectively and interject in areas that they think are right or wrong. The moderator is not out to get either side.
8. Understand that in a team setting, everything is a give and take. Ideally, the ideas would come from a combined effort, but often, time does not allow the courtesy.
9. When in doubt, ask if you have hurt someone's feelings or did something that bothered them. Be honest in your reply. Holding a grudge without letting the other person know is both unfair and problematic.
In that light, admins and jr a's will no longer handle disputes over skype.
This is the protect both us and you. When we chat over skype, we can type without thinking, don't give ourselves time to breathe, and often say things we don't mean/regret. By asking that all disputes go through the Helovia PM system, we force both ourselves and you to think about what we want to say, and craft a response that we can be proud of and stand behind. We will of course still chat and answer questions, but if there is an issue, please PM our admin accounts or Official. We remind the community to be courteous and polite, even if a dispute arrises. Non-compliance will be given an official warning.
Helovia NEEDS to be a place where we can all relax and have fun.
Thank you,
The Admin Team.
