She had objected, protested, thrown tantrums. She had sulked in silence, she had tried accepting facts, she had raged against horses and gods and herself. She had done anything and everything, strained herself and risked life and limb, all in order to get rid of the parasite within. But the life in her womb must have been strong despite its small size and peculiar litheness, because its frail existence had refused to fade, its light burning stronger for each attempt at expelling it.

And the shadow had been quite serious in her attempts. Not so much that she had deliberately ingested toxic plants - she wasn't quite that stupid - but every method of causing miscarriage she had ever heard of had been tried, in a stubborn refusal to accept the one fact that made her sweat in cold dread.

She was going to become a mother.

To many mares this was the ultimate goal of their existence. They looked forward to the conception, they spent the pregnancy in a kind of blissful haze, as if everything had fallen in place and life could only become more wonderful. She had seen them dote on their offspring with softness in their eyes and tender smiles on the lips, and she had always shook her head in disbelief and turned away, unable to understand. She had never wanted it for herself, she had turned away stallion after stallion who offered intimacy, no matter how kind and handsome and insistent they were.

Now, as she lay sweating in the cold sand with eyes pinched tightly as the waves of intense pain came and went, she cursed herself for not sticking to that path. She cursed Carnesîr too, for his gentle eyes, his capricious smile and the alluring innocence he exuded, the very same attributes that finally had made her fall. Maybe she should have told him to stick around, perhaps she should have sent word to him once she knew that her time was up... But she didn't want to. As much as she punished herself and the unborn child, she delighted in punishing him as well - by keeping him away, by throwing harsh and spiteful words at him every chance she could. He'd said he wanted a child... Maybe it was because of that she refused to let him close, because seeing his happiness when she felt none would be too mortifying.

Another contraction of the swollen belly squeezed a broken squeal of pain from her sore throat. Inky nostrils flared, expanding and withdrawing as she sucked in the cold night air, breath after exhausted breath. It was taking too long. Profuse sweating had caked her black hide in orange dust, the sand behind her rear was soaked through in fluids and crimson stains. She could feel the front limbs of the foal extend from within, saw the slippery appendages jut out from beneath her tail every time she turned to look; but no matter what she couldn't get the thing from budging. For every passing minute her strength waned, anger and fear was all that kept her going now.

She didn't want to die here. Not like this, in such a humiliating, normal way, a fate that hundreds, maybe thousands of mares faced every year. Shadow would have wanted it to be memorable, an end they would tell legends about, after she had led a long and interesting life. This couldn't be it. It wasn't allowed to be. There were so many things she had to do, so much left unfinished.

Her pain and terror resounded in the scream that cut through the air as something ripped within; she felt it, felt how the resistance suddenly disappeared completely and with a toss of her stocky head and a final push the foal slid out and landed on the ground, along with a rush of hot, black blood that steamed in the chilly air. Fall was approaching, she felt its bite in the winds that swept down from the north, and shuddered as it combed through her soaked pelt. Shadow could hear the foal stir on the ground behind her, but had neither strength nor interest enough to turn and look at it. Instead the blackbird let her head fall to the ground once more, seeking comfort in the solidity and strength of the land, as her sanguine fluids slowly drained from the body.

To think that this would be the end of her... It was so sad it was almost amusing.


@[Onni] and @[Midas] first, then open. :D